Monday, September 9, 2019

The Challenge: Go Cry About It Why Don't You. #BB21

I finally saw something on the live feeds that I feel inspired to write about, so I'll just go ahead and shirk my real duties for a little while today to blow off some steam here.  I'm sure I will enjoy writing once I get going and blab about other BB topics.  I have two unfinished posts since the last one but I feel like it's too late to go back and cover old topics. 


Nicole is finally having her time to shine, and in the past week has done the following:  

1.  Nicole won the all-important HoH competition during the Double Eviction episode.

2.  Nicole had the grit and gumption to put both Tommy and Christie on the block during those stressful moments, assuring Tommy that he was safe and Christie was the target.  And after many, many weeks of sitting in those nomination chairs and wiggling her way out, Christie was evicted during the Double at the hands of Nicole.

3.  Nicole won the BB Comix PoV, to be televised this upcoming Wednesday, assuring her place in the Final Four and making her BB21 resume as deserving as anybody's to make the case to win the money.  

You may recall that everyone has been crowing about how Jackson has won so many competitions, but out of his three HoH reigns, he used his power the first two times to evict Analyse and then Jessica, hardly big targets in anybody's eyes.  And his third HoH, the one playing out right now, looks like it's going to result in an eviction nobody could see coming just a few days ago.


I have some tax returns to do right now, so when I settled down at my desk to get cracking on them, the house guests were all sleeping, so I flashed back to last night and to my surprise the live feeds were crackling with tension and unresolved anger.

Holly will be happy to know that she's getting the star treatment here, with constant close-ups on two camera views at one time.  The late summer air in the backyard was filled with energetic conversation and laughs, but one look at the close up of Holly's face and the way she jiggled the left leg of her Forever 21 (or whatever) fashions told me that she was in mental distress, and was about to blow.

I feel for Holly.  I really do.  We've all been there, so mad about something someone we love (or think we love) does, and wanting so badly for them to acknowledge it, to turn their attention to you and at least admit they realize you're upset, maybe even to apologize or just do something sweet to get things back on track.

But not Jackson.  Nope.  I must have heard him slip "I'm 24 years old" into his chatter with Tommy, Nicole and Cliff at least five times, really turning the screws on her as the Zingbot's totally-shitty "Old Buzzard" comment rings in Holly's ears.

(By the way, Holly Allen was 24 when she was Miss Wyoming as you see in the picture at the top of the post.)

And Jackson's energetic participation in the conversation was totally passive-aggressive, knowing full well that what he was saying was designed to hurt Holly too, just adding to the list of things she is going to cry about later.  I'm totally sensitive to Holly's plight here, but I am going to talk about it anyway.

(Holly, when you read this, please know that I have NEVER been a Jackson fan and wish you would have played the game without him, or that you had PLAYED HIM and made a name for yourself outside of just being his emotional punching bag.  It is so hard to break out of our own bad patterns, though. This much I know.)

Holly turned to give Jackson a look, saying something like, "I know how these things go", and I learned shortly afterwards what it was she is upset about.  But until then, it was Nicole's night tonight, and all three men in the house took turns talking about what a great person she is, so deserving of all of the best things in life and what an utter joy she is to spend time with.

Tommy talked about how he's sure his brother is already in love with Nicole, saying he will set them up and she can be Nicole Bracco.  Nicole thought he was teasing her but he swore he is being truthful, that his brother has lighter hair and is taller, and he thinks Nicole will love him.

Nicole's school has "super hero" days, and she always dresses like Robin for them.  Jackson asked if he can visit and "be Batman" but Nicole says no, her sister is always Batman, and the other sister is Batgirl.   Then Jackson got really extra, and I mean REALLY EXTRA, telling Nicole in at least three different turns of phrase that she is one of the best people he's ever met, and he is so thankful to have gotten to know her this summer and how he would let her teach his own children without a second thought, and would be happy to have someone like her in his life forever.

Then Jackson started talking about how Nicole is invited to visit him in Nashville, and how she will love it and the people there will love her, too.  He said he wants to take a road trip with her to Knoxville, and what fun it will be and how she will love it, blah blah blah.

(I was ready to punch his smarmy face for you, Holly.  What a dick this guy is.)

And let's not forget that Holly is virtually positive she will be sitting on the block on eviction night now that Nicole has the power to save either Tommy or Cliff (she saved Cliff) and that she only needs two votes to get sent to the Jury House where she can cry and cry and cry and not worry about having to reapply her makeup immediately.  (In the Jury House the camera crew visits are rather infrequent, and probably pre-scheduled to keep labor costs low.)

Tommy made a comment at one point that he would be "ordained" by then, or something like that so he would be able to officiate ceremonies.  Jackson really piled on then, saying that he wanted Tommy to officiate his own wedding, for sure, absolutely, being so loud and extra about it.  At one point he even repeated at least twice that he was only one year older than Sys, making the comparison about how much of life he still had to look forward to.

Jackson:  I'm only 24!

Holly:  Touche.

(Holly I would love to march in there and make Jackson CRY with just a few sentences for  your benefit.  Trust me on that.  He's a big fucking BULLY, and I don't throw that word around very often.  But the live feeders know that Jackson is probably the most FUCKED UP person in that house.  And you want to talk about FOOD ISSUES?  And MOMMY ISSUES?  And IMPULSE CONTROL and ANGER issues?  The list goes on....)

It became clear that the root of this performance by Jackson, and the misery of Holly, was based on Jackson announcing that he planned to be on The Challenge, which obviously angered Holly.  But I have to wonder if Holly really cares about this dick enough to want to continue a relationship with him outside of the house, or if the embarrassment of being clowned by him on the live feeds, and likely the CBS show is what is driving her sadness.  Maybe both.  And I'm sure she wanted to play out the role of the "BB showmance" on social media after the season ends.  Not a chance of that now.

After Jackson mentioned Tommy officiating his wedding, Holly erupted in a tension-filled tirade, but a quiet one, right there in front of the cast.

Holly:  Maybe Tommy can do your wedding to the girl you meet on The Challenge!  A really fun girl you meet there!  A girl who will have to break up with her boyfriend after The Challenge is filmed!

(We already know that Cliff is a semi-expert on The Challenge, so I hope he gets a chance to discuss this situation on Rob Has a Podcast later, when he co-hosts a Challenge podcast to recap a Challenge episode.  Maybe even a Challenge episode featuring Jackson.)

(Look on the bright side Holly.  Offers are probably being prepared RIGHT NOW to get you two on the next season of Ex on The Beach.)

Cliff and Tommy have been eating some food that has been laid out on the pool table, buffet style.  It looks like they got catering from somewhere, or maybe they cooked it, but there was a lot of it and it looked delicious.

Holly approached the table and did what we've all done when we're upset, one way or another.  But not on camera.  Not with people watching. 

No utensils.  No plates.  Just hands and a hunger that is hard to fill.  You can eat and eat but you can't get to the bottom of those type of feelings.

I don't think she was even comfortable holding the piece of chicken in her hand to nibble on.  She just housed the whole thing in an attempt to destroy the evidence and then tried to chew it up as best as she could.

LOOK:  I think you might be able to put most women into one of two groups:  those who get upset and eat, and those who can't even begin to chew and swallow when they are shaken to the core emotionally.  One time in my mid-20's I went to my favorite sports bar in Florida with my best friend on a College Football Saturday to socialize and watch our team play.  The waitress had just delivered my burger and fries when a guy who I had been dating for almost a year came in the bar with a big rowdy group to sit at a huge round table that had been reserved to watch the FSU game.  I was so hurt that he didn't ask me to go with him that day that I couldn't take one bite of my food.  It just sat there, getting cold while I watched S_____ W_____ whoop it up front and center in front of the biggest TV screen in the standing-room-only bar.  There was a couple sitting next to us at the bar who were passive-aggressively mocking me for not eating, making jokes about it loudly enough that we could clearly hear them.  First they openly speculated if I was anorexic, and the guy made jokes about how I was going to eat it all during the commercial and then go throw up.  (Back then it was A-OK to say things like this to people, apparently.)  My friend ended up getting so pissed at them on my behalf that she said, "how would you feel if you knew she just had chemo!" and the couple felt so bad they paid for our tab.  At least that's something.  We left before S_____  W_______ even knew I was in there.  And when he asked me a few days later if I watched the game I just said yes.  In retrospect I've learned that it's often much worse to not tell them that you're upset than to just gloss over it like nothing happened.  Because something did happen and ignoring it won't help.

(I'm so sad now just thinking about the saga of that whole relationship.  How OBSESSED I was with  him and how long it dragged on and on, with me clinging to the sweet things he said and did, thinking those things would make up for all of the bad things.  But no, they didn't.  I don't think they ever do, but I'm certainly not the expert on that.)

Jackson was just loving all of this.  So cruel.  Clearly enjoying it.

Holly went inside and lurked around in the kitchen area until Jackson came in and came over to act like he didn't know she was upset, and didn't know what she could be angry about.  Holly started to talk about it and heard the cameras spin to watch, briefly flickering her eyes over to us before semi-whispering that she just knows what goes on at those Challenge shoots, and what kind of people and relationships you find there.  She said she's only been on this one reality show, and it is an honor to be on it, but that the scene on most reality shows is pretty predictable, and she knows that.

Jackson:  That would be like me saying I don't trust any social media influencers though.

(Is THAT how she describes herself?  Go home to Wyoming Holly and find a cowboy who will worship you, because this situation is BULLSHIT.)

Then Jackson tried to eat his own bottomless pit of feelings, first with what I assume were watermelon chunks, and then an aggressive round of snack-shredding in his HoH room, with jerky and crackers and maybe some other foods, crunching and swallowing, so pleased with himself.


Before I move on I will point out the title of this post comes from a John Mayer song about a break up.  And that is John playing the guitar, of course.  So talented and smart.  I didn't get the letter I sent to him returned yet, so maybe he will receive it and read it someday.  Maybe it's sitting in a big Dumpster of dead letters.  Maybe somebody at the post office saw who the envelope was addressed to, saw that it was a fairly thick envelope and thought I sent some nude pictures and opened it.  Trust me, that DID NOT happen. Not my style, baby.


You know by now that Tommy confessed to Holly and Jackson that he knew Christie outside the house, right?  It just sort of slipped out in the HoH room while Holly and Jackson were verbally SHREDDING Christie, but it didn't seem to make a huge impact on anything.  Tommy said that Christie's ex-girlfriend was  his aunt, but a different one than in his HoH pictures.  He was very upset and they comforted him while the feeds went to FISH.  The live feeders were so upset about losing the feeds during this Important Moment, but I'm sure the topic of casting came up and they didn't want us to hear it.  I'm sure Tommy wanted to make it clear that he didn't know Christie would be there and what an unpleasant shock it was for him. Both Jackson and Holly promised Tommy that they wouldn't say anything about it to anyone.

When I took this picture Tommy was listening to the house guests talk shit about what a horrible person Christie is, with some good points thrown in.

Holly:  Trust me, I'm going to have a laundry list of issues to talk to Christie about when I leave here.

Cliff:  I don't know.  She didn't go after me like she did you guys.  I saw the fan in her and I saw the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about this game, and I respected her for that.

Jackson:  I respected her ferocity, and how she went after things to win this game.  But when things got personal, that's when I lost respect.

=====>  Now that Tommy is on the block sitting next to Holly, will she use his information about Christie against him?  Will she point out that Tommy has an automatic vote from Christie if he makes it to Final Two, scratching and clawing to keep her place in the game?  Now THIS situation is worth watching, suddenly.  I hope Tommy is prepared with counter-arguments for that possibility.  I'd like to see Tommy FIGHT DIRTY, but I know many of the BB fans don't like the Dastardly Deeds like I do.

I'll say it again:  I LOVE CHRISTIE.  The only thing predictable about her is how unpredictable she was.  I know she told lies left and right and angered most if not all of the pre-jury players, and most of the jury, too, but she was so fun to watch and when I step back and look at her trajectory in this game, it really is amazing.

In the early weeks, this bitch RAN THE HOUSE and all of you were complaining that Christie was going to win, and this season was so boring.  Well, it's boring now, bitches.  Christie was like a fuse that got lit and we all waited with our fingers in our ears for the explosion.  She made this season for me and I loved watching her.

And I think it's important to note for cultural reasons that the fact that she is a lesbian was such a non-factor in anything.  The only reason why the house guests discussed that topic at all was due to Jack's unrequited attraction for her or if she brought the topic up herself.

===>  CBS needs to do whatever they need to do to keep from losing her to MTV.  Put her and Tommy on The Amazing Race.  Put her on Love Island.  Put her somewhere where we can watch her on Network Prime Time before she gets marked down to Expanded Basic Cable.

(Sorry, MTV Challenge players and fans who follow me.  But you know what I mean. The paychecks and viewership vary widely.)


The artist who does the BB Comix also drew the BB Flix posters and published a few on Twitter for us to get a closer look.

What?  Who?  "For Adults"?


You can tell the artist is a Nicole fan.  And he knew Sam would be a good sport about this type of thing.

And the artist is an Ovi fan as well.

Cliff with his hand motions and that damn owl.  Cliff has been talking NON STOP about how BIG Nicole is going to be on social media after this season, saying he's going to learn how to use Instagram from his kids and then he'll teach Nicole so they can both interact with all of their adoring fans.

Cliff is pumping up Nicole here, but clearly he's projecting a little about his own social media assumptions.

While we're here, I might as well post this interesting snippet of conversation I found Twitter.

I thought Swaggy C's appearance on the show was.......interesting.  I'll just say that.  And wasn't the story that the two of them "bought a house" somewhere near her home town?  And now that they've "moved to Los Angeles", what does that tell us?

I think Bayleigh's expression says it all here.

I'm posting this because of the braids....maybe focusing on the competition questions instead of the Frontier Land Dorothy pigtail placement might have been a better idea, particularly in light of what will happen to Holly on Thursday night.

(Pssssstt.... she's getting evicted on Jackson's HoH reign, ya'll.)

The Golden Couple just keeps on shining, ya'll.  I love Tangela.  I'm guessing Tyler was the one to hurl the ball, maybe with Angela out there with him on the pitcher's mound.  I didn't see any news about the pitch, or hear anything about how it might have flown through the air on the way to home plate.

Any news on that?  Any footage for us?


Angela threw the ball!  And Tyler caught it right over home plate!  Thank you Obsidiandog for sending me this link with some great pictures courtesy of @tangelamoments, the premiere spot for news about our favorite BB20 Love Couple.

Hey Angela:  RESPECT.  You won it all, hon.


I know some of you have been waiting for news on the TDH GC.  I wish I had some news, but I still have construction-related drama that just won't seem to go away.

The TDH GC started two new jobs this week, both well into the six figures so that is a big deal for him.  Both projects involve full-floor or basement renovations, with walls being torn down, windows being moved or enlarged, etc.  And both are on the other side of town so he couldn't visit me last week like he planned.  He was just coming over to deliver a barn door, but when he said that we were doing the Staring Thing giving each other The Eyes and all, so it probably wasn't a realistic plan.

One of the things I admire about him is how ambitious he is and how he turns his full attention to the work that is being done in his name.  In the end he is responsible for how things look and how they are done and most importantly, how his team conducts themselves.   He works with high-end clients who are going through the same disruption and feeling of invasion that I went through, so he has to be on-site a lot in the beginning during demolition and the major planning around the plumbing fixture placement and the tile design plans and so forth.  One of the big clients is a repeat customer who wants him to renovate the entire basement floor, and the other is a new client so that is a lot in one week.

Even if he was my official boyfriend or whatever at this point (which of course he is not), I'm not sure I could have bothered him this week with what happened over here on Wednesday with The Italians who turned out not to be Italians, after all.  I misjudged their ethnicity.  I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but if the floor guys were Italian, things might be going better, because in my experience Italian guys like women.  And the guys who were actually here clearly do not.  At least, not women like me.

This is what they were hired to do, put down red oak 3" wood floors in the master bedroom.  They put the wood down last Wednesday and are coming here tomorrow (Tuesday) for the first of three days of staining and putting on some sort of top coat.  Then on Friday the 13th (not a good omen) they will likely return to put my furniture back.

Which brings us to the problem.  The problem that ruined Wednesday for me.

(Those are new paint colors I'm testing over there on the left wall.  I love the cocoa color of the current walls, but I need to make a change to gray tones so the room flows better into the new master bath, the one I've spent so much time and energy and MONEY on.)

The Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers shoved all of my bedroom furniture into the newly-renovated bathroom and closet.  And this is after I TOLD THEM to put everything into the garage.  And last week the TDH GC even swept out the garage himself for me, I found later, because he knew that my bedroom furniture was going to be stored in there.  That is so sweet to me.  (I think Acts of Service (or whatever) might be one of my Love Languages.)

(And also maybe because I "joked" with one of his workers the day before that I wanted him to move the "tile graveyard" leftover from this project to a shelving unit so I could make space in the garage for my "new boyfriend" to park his car.)

(And this might also be the reason why the TDH GC pointed out the kitchen sink granite cut-out that has been leaning against that side of the garage for years now and asked if I wanted him to take it away so I'd have more room available on that side of the garage.  OMG did they talk about what I said?  I didn't mention the "new boyfriend" to the TDH GC, that's for sure.  I'd like to think he knows I was referring to him, but both of these guys have different native languages so I'm learning that some things are lost in translation if you don't get to say it to them in person.)

===>  Basically the TDH GC and his team installed the glass shower doors, cabinet doors, and also the new barn-style WC door (with full length mirror on it) and the closet doors as the very last step, so they wouldn't scratch or be harmed in any way.  And a painter also returned  last Wednesday so the TDH GC could point out touch ups that needed to be done and other minor things.  And now these Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers just casually shoved shit in there and were mystified that I had the gall to say anything to them about it.

I was sitting at a table where I sometimes eat breakfast, waiting to see these guys carry furniture out of the bedroom but when too much time passed without seeing that, I walked in and was SHOCKED that they did this.  One of them kept saying "I didn't scratch anything" and I just kept responding "I don't know that" and told them I was shocked about this and that I told him when he first got there that the garage was half-empty and waiting for them to put the furniture there.  Then one of the little bastards said I was being rude TO HIM and he was going to call his boss and I said, NO PROBLEM, ask him to call me when you're done.

I went back to my table and just sat there, waiting with my half-eaten Silk yogurt cup.  Then the boss called me and said he was the one to tell them to use the master bath for furniture storage and he was sorry.  But note that he DID NOT plan to move it to the garage, because "this was easier".  He later visited and told me he was worried that moving the big pieces would "damage the paint job" in the hallway.

(LIKE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A GALLON OR TWO OF PAINT AT THIS POINT.  I told him that I planned to have the downstairs painted next anyway and he didn't even get what I was trying to say.)

I told him that maybe one of the reasons why I was so shocked is that I just spent two months with guys in my house that were respectful to both me and my house every day they were here, and this type of treatment was like a slap in my face.  If one of my clients said that TO ME about the work that I do, I would be VERY concerned and would ask follow up questions.  But not this guy.

After I spoke with the boss on the phone, but before he came to visit me, one of the Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers, the biggest one, came over to where I was sitting and loomed over me with a very angry face saying "YOU GOOD?  YOU GOOD?" and I didn't even know how to answer that, or even if he would understand me if I did tell him how I was "good or not good".  His face looked like the mugshot of a man who would strangle you, the last thing you'd see before you let go of life.

HERE'S WHERE I GAVE UP:  While this ugly buffoon kept asking me if I was good, I sort of escaped mentally and drifted off, and I allowed a particular thought to flow through that I knew wasn't a good idea.  I knew it was going to get me, but I did it anyway.  I thought, "if I was married right now, the type of man I would choose would just take this problem from me and take care of it", and then of course my eyes filled up with tears and my lower lip started shaking.  The Non-Italian Floor MotherFucker saw that and smirked before turning his back and walking away.  I didn't cry because he wasn't nice about it...all girls know that when you are upset and someone says something sweet, that is when you really start bawling.  But seeing tears well up in my eyes meant that I'd lost the battle and the war.  All I can do now is wait until maybe Friday the 13th (OMG) to see if there is damage that now needs to be fixed.

So even though the TDH GC WOULD be concerned about this problem, and WILL be involved with helping to solve it if there are indeed issues, there was nothing he could do about it at the time, no matter how much I wanted someone like him to step in and help me.  After I gave up and came upstairs to sit at my desk and pretend to work, I texted the TDH GC and told him I went "Full Julie" on the floor guys and the boss had to come over and handle me.  (Julie is one of his clients that has given him a very hard time and lots of grief this summer, in direct comparison with me.)

The meaning of that text wasn't clear (see translation issue mentioned above) so I had to explain and just ended up dropping the subject because I knew he had plenty to worry about already.  We had a similar issue months ago when I texted him after the shower tile first started going up that the shower was going to be "so swanky" and it turned out that he thought that was a complaint.  He came over the next morning and told his guys he needed to talk to me because I wasn't happy.  I was like "WHAT?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT HAPPY?" and we cleared it up and then were both happy about it. He had to remind me that English is not his first language, even though he attended college in the US.  (I had to explain what "procrastinate" means the other day.)

Last night he was texting me and wanted to know when he should schedule someone to install the door this week.  I told him that the floor guys' work schedule currently indicates the door couldn't be installed until the following week, and I better explained the reason why I was upset, that the floor guys didn't even listen to me about where I wanted the furniture to be stored, and that they were mean to me about it, the opposite of how respectful and gentle the TDH GC's team was.  And that I was shocked and took pictures in case there is damage to consider.

So he said he hated to hear that and wants me to keep him posted.  And he will come by with the door this week sometime.  So now I'm just waiting.  I start to have doubts as time goes on, but when he's here and I get his full attention I feel very differently.  When I read back some of these posts, I remember and it was real.  I'm not imagining things that really happened, so in that sense sharing the details here has been important.