Thursday, September 19, 2019

I'll Do Anything For a Way Out of My Head. #BB21

So, I'm sure you know by now that Jackson won the final PoV competition of the season.  And it is the most powerful PoV medal to have around your neck, too, because it allows the holder to choose who will leave the game in 4th place.

Because right now there are only four house guests in that house, sharing that large space in the final days of this very long season of Big Brother.

This is how things stood just before the PoV competition:

HoH:  Nicole

Nominations:  Holly & Jackson

Sole Vote to Evict:  Cliff

So now that Jackson will be saving himself, there is only Cliff to replace him in the nomination chairs, and only Jackson to place the vote to evict live tonight on the last Thursday night show of the season.  And we'll finally get a Jury segment tonight on the live show.  At least one segment, maybe two, because trust me there is not much to see from the live feeds.  And what there is to see is pretty eye-rolling.

Like in this picture of Jackson and Holly with more of the tender love embraces.  I know you have noticed how we have to witness Holly slowly straddling Jackson at least twice now on every damn CBS episode.  I think it's funny how shady her edit is....they only show Holly doing one of the following activities, because in reality this is ALL SHE DOES in there:

*  Straddling "Mickey" and holding on like a toddler
*  Putting on makeup, particularly her extra-annoying mascara application process
*  Compulsively arranging her hair to ensure adequate camera coverage
*  Agreeing with "Mickey" and acting as a sounding board for his soliloquys and tirades

At one point of this season, Holly seemed like she was ready to play this game and resented her obvious portrayal as being just "with some dude".  But I guess somewhere along the way she slipped and fell into it.  We even saw subtitles last night with her saying she loves Jackson, but he didn't say it back.  Jackson seems to only love his Mama, and has frequently talked this summer about being friends with Holly after the season ends, but I don't think she's aware of that.  Earlier this summer Jackson even said he would hook up with other girls during the post-season parties in Las Vegas,and said Holly would be okay with that and would party right alongside all of the action.

We'll see about that.  I'm sorry for Holly because I know she will be very hurt when she learns more about what was really going inside and outside the house with regard to her game.  But it is what it is at this point, Holly Allen.  You have another week to straddle Jackson in your Forever 21 fashions.

I boldly stated the following in Holly's pre-season scouting report.  I know it sounds mean, but often I say mean things in those scouting reports and end up LOVING the house guests in the game. (Like Kathryn Dunn this season, JC Moundiux last year, etc etc etc.)  Unfortunately I stand by this statement.  Sorry Holly.

Jackson was understandably very, very happy to win this PoV comp.  There is some chatter out there about how Production helped Jackson by giving him some sort of extra information during the competition.  But I looked into that and apparently Nicole and maybe even Holly needed the same type of clarification from Production.  It sounds like they emphasized certain words in a sentence so they could understand the meaning.

So I understand this narrative is juicy and fun to speculate about, but I have doubts that it's true.  I know Jackson looks like the type of BB winner they'd like to have at this point, but they also know how problematic he is for many reasons.  But to Joe Casual, kicking back on the Lazy-Boy recliner watching the show, Jackson is likely a hero.

There is no way in hell that Jackson is going to evict Holly tonight, no matter how hard Nicole and Cliff try to make that happen.  Holly is the only one who will take Jackson to the Final Two without question, so he has to take her in case he doesn't win the final HoH competition.

Cliff's knee got all banged up and he's definitely feeling pain as he moves around the house.  I think that fight that Tommy and Jackson took quite a toll on Cliff.  Everything took quite an ugly turn and the atmosphere in the house is very different after Tommy left the game.

I'd be lying if I said I've been watching a lot of live feed action.  I haven't.  When I turn on the feeds it is usually Jackson and Holly laying in bed and Cliff and Nicole spending time by themselves doing various activities.

There is lots of chatter out there about Cliff seeming to lose his grip that he's had on the game all summer.  He's making questionable decisions, and being very unrealistic about the choice Jackson will make tonight on the live show.  Immediately after the PoV competition, Cliff actually told the live feeders he thought Jackson would honor their deal and go to the Final Three with him and Nicole, which is absolutely delusional.

Cliff doesn't think that now, though.  Cliff knows he's leaving tonight, and is especially disturbed to know that his family won't be sitting in the audience on Finale Night. Only the top three players have family who get to sit in the studio audience.  Cliff's family will watch the Finale from the Green Room, if they choose to travel to Los Angeles for the event, that is.

Jackson is pretty sure that he is going to the Final Two, and certainly plans on winning the big prize, with that damned confetti on his shoulders, of course.  I believe he's mentioned that a few times on the CBS episodes.

This was the last night in the Big Brother back yard for Cliff, and it might be one of the last of the season, since Production starts setting up the final competition sets and the backyard interview areas during the last week of the season.  Cliff talked to the cameras, of course, clutching that stupid owl.

He got into the hammock by himself without falling and congratulated himself for that.  Is that difficult to do?   Does the hammock flip over frequently?  I've been in a few hammocks but don't make a habit out of it, so I don't know.

Jackson played Nicole at chess, and is the silent type while playing, while Nicole babbles nonstop both to herself and also the cameras, obviously nervous and anxious about Jackson easily beating her.  I don't know if Nicole plays chess very often, but it would have been nice to hear Jackson coach her up a little about why certain moves should or shouldn't be played.

That's one ugly chess set too.  Truly fugly.

Nicole and Cliff have been very upset with Jackson for breaking his deal with them, but in reality they were planning on doing the same thing to him, booting him to leave Holly in the game with them if they got the chance.  So I don't get where all of the self-sanctimonious posturing comes from.  They would have done the same to Jackson if only one of them had won the PoV.

And now Nicole feels stupid that she's stuck in the Final Three with a showmance. And I think Cliff regrets his decision to send Tommy out of the game last week, but he knows how many votes Tommy would have had on the Jury, so it's not like keeping him was a great option.

It's all been pretty boring, and I'm bored with it.  This has not been a good season for me at all, with all of the players who held my attention on the live feeds leaving the game so early.  I know everyone loves Nicole, and I like her too, but I hate how the Big Brother community "stans" house guests and then decides that if that person isn't your favorite player, you're trash.

It's a community of followers, basically.

This was the most interesting thing to happen lately---Cliff pseudo-blackmailed Jackson by telling him that if Jackson sends him to the Jury this week, Cliff will have six days to influence the Jury and says he will use that time to make sure that Jackson doesn't win the game.

It got to Jackson.  The idea that he might come all of this way and then have the confetti fall on him as the person walking out in front of him wins really seemed to knock Jackson for a loop, as they say.

He told Holly in the wee hours of this morning that he has answers to every question that the Jury might ask...every single person and every single question.

Jackson:  The only thing that could change that is if they are bitter voters who don't use the game when they cast their vote.  That's the only way.

(UM....what about TYLER?  And PAUL?  And PAUL again?)

Jackson:  I refuse to tug on heartstrings like Cliff would do.  And bringing stuff  into this game like 401K accounts and his family. Mentioning his family all of the time, this "STK 143" all the time is a strategy for him.  We all have family.  I have to send him home, it's the end of the road.  And if he goes back on his word and doesn't use game to cast his vote than that's on him.  He'll be a bitter juror.

(UM....Holly is the one you plan to sit next to Jackson.  She wants to win, too.)

This picture is so funny to me.

Fessy went to the colosseum, it appears.  And I had one hell of a time trying to spell that word.  I'm still not sure it's right, but I'm moving on anyway.

Fessy is still one good looking em-effer, ya'll.

I watched Tommy's extended interview with Julie, easily found on YouTube on the official Big Brother page, or whatever that is called.  Tommy calmly answered her questions and handled himself quite well.  It was obvious that Julie enjoyed talking with him.  He thinks that Nicole and Cliff made the wrong decision to evict him and not Holly, but graciously admitted that the two of them are very good players and could make it on their own to the Final Two.

Tommy:  ....but it would have been easier for them if they kept me.

Tommy got choked up during Cliff's goodbye message, as Cliff said he decided to stick with the alliance that he and Nicole made with Jackson and Holly.

Cliff: ....and also we needed to do it because you were too good of a competitor...

Tommy:  I KNEW IT!  I KNEW IT!

Tommy didn't even seem angry at Jackson for making up such a treacherous lie during the last 24 hours and then sealing Tommy's fate when Nicole and Cliff appeared to believe him.  (Cliff did tell Tommy in his message that they DID NOT believe Jackson.)

Jackson:  I'm so sorry, but I just couldn't risk Holly leaving the game..

Tommy nodded and said he knew that. He was a good sport about it all, but maybe that is the showman in him.  Maybe he will be sad later and let it all out.

He was touched to see Nicole, clearly fond of her and said he understood as she spoke, as if Nicole herself could hear him.

While I was on the YouTube site, I watched Christie's extended interview with Julie Chen as well.  And the detail on the knee of Julie's red dress is fantastic.  Perfect for this type of camera shot.

Christie was remarkably self-composed during her interview, for someone who got the boot during a live double eviction.  She didn't even get to pack her things before leaving.  But she recovered nicely and told Julie that all of her tears were 100% real.

Christie:  Oh, but maybe once....after Sys was evicted everyone was crying and I felt bad that I wasn't.  So I tried really hard but nothing came out.

Julie also asked her if she really has a sister (YES) and reminded her about a few of the times that Christie lied and swore on her sister's life.  Christie sort of cringed at that but it didn't shake her up as much as maybe Julie would have liked.

Christie also said she'd love to play BB again but might need a year off to process things.  She also said she's watched the live feeds before, but I don't know if we can verify that.  She certainly didn't sound like she understood how the live feed cameras worked while she was in the game, but maybe that was strategy, even though she was very upfront with the house guests about loving the show for years.


I tried to think of a clever title song that would somehow encapsulate what is going on in the house right now, but I'm fresh out of good ideas, it seems.  I listened to this song four times this morning, and I will probably listen to it another four times before the day is done.  It's just calming to me.

It's called Come Back to Earth, by Mac Miller, who left the earth way, way, way too early.  I listened to a lot of music that was new to me this summer, which is sort of exciting, actually.  It's opened up my world quite a bit, which is a good thing.


What a strange summer it's been for me.  The demolition of my master bath was unexpectedly scheduled on the first day of the live feeds, and the project and it's adjacent list of things to do are slowly crawling to a halt, probably a week or two after this BB season ends.

If I had known everything that the project might entail, and the mess of emotions it would put me through, I might have been tempted to push the project back another year.  But the result was and is stunning, so I need to be grateful for that, and grateful to be able to do this for myself, as well as the resale value of my house when I eventually sell it, which might be many, many years from now.

When we last spoke of this, the Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers had shoved all of my bedroom furniture into my newly-renovated master bathroom, and had been rude to me and made me cry.  Once they finally finished all of the coats of whatever they put on the new floors, they came to my house last Saturday morning, two new guys I hadn't seen before, and they installed the shoe molding and then put my furniture back in it's place.

The damage I could see is was multiple instances of nicks and scratches on my freshly-painted walls and wooden trim around the doors, nicks on one of my new cabinet doors, and floor stain all over at least four of the 12 x 24 Italian floor tiles.  Those bastards didn't even try to avoid splashing their stain (or whatever) all over my new tile.  Even if it was old tile, and an old bathroom, shouldn't they at least try to avoid damaging it?  Especially since I was already a "problem" person for them.....they already knew I wasn't happy.  They already knew I was going to be a bitch about it.

I knew that the TDH GC was going to come by on Monday to take a look at the damages left behind, but I decided to send the owner of the Floor Company an email with a list of the things that I found, just glancing around.  He ended up coming over to my house on Sunday afternoon and getting on his hands and knees with a knife to scrape off the stain glue (or whatever) from the tiles, as well as some tacky blue tape that was still sticking out under the piece of wood that transitions from the tile to the wood.  It's shocking to me that the worker bees left things like that, and I doubt that the owner of the company will even talk to them about it.  He seems too interested in buying fancy new cars and getting way, way, WAY too close to me.  When he asked me if I had a knife he could use I said sure and walked to the kitchen to get one.  When I stopped to open the kitchen drawer this guy ran right into my back....he had actually FOLLOWED me to the kitchen to get the knife, which I thought was very strange, but WHATEVER.

For whatever reason I am attracting a lot of male attention right now, I guess.  It's just not always the right kind of male attention.


This isn't going to have a happy ending, so I'm warning you now.  I'm not unhappy about it though, but to be honest I'm still processing things and will need some time and perspective to put everything in it's proper mental space.

The last time I had been in front of the TDH GC in person was over a week ago, on the last major day of our renovation project.  And it was an INTENSE experience together that wanted to go someplace, but it never did, and I could look back and say I should have said this, or done that to transition to the next level, but in retrospect everything happened exactly as it should.  (Here at the bottom of this post.)

That whole experience left something heavy in the air, like some sort of loss, but I can only speak to that on my end of things.

He was scheduled to come see me on Monday, but he ended up calling me Monday and saying he had three guys blow off work without calling so he was dealing with all of that and we ended up having a pretty great conversation about how hard it was to be in charge sometimes and to motivate employees to do the right thing.  I told him I was a very understanding and forgiving person and he said that was "beaut-y-ful".

So he planned to come by on Tuesday morning to see the remaining damages and also bring over my barn door so he could have someone else install it later this week.  But from the moment he arrived on Tuesday (with a big hug) he seemed really stressed, and said he forgot to bring the door (unusual for him) and would have to come back later in the week with it.  We talked about some changes I want to make in my bedroom and he gave me his opinion about how I want to move the cable hookup and also some of the electrical outlets.  But unlike other meetings in the past, my bed is all made up in the middle of the bedroom because I'm sleeping in there again, so that was sort of weird.  There was a weird energy and it felt like he was shutting me out, keeping a distance with his eyes and his words.

When we were in the bathroom looking at the damage to the walls and cabinet door, I was trying to find the right way to describe how I took the Upper Hand back from the Floor Guy and I wanted to use Tony Soprano as an example of how where you are sitting and how other people approach you signifies power, so I said, "you watch The Sopranos, right?" and he sort of shook his head in surprise and said that The Sopranos is his favorite show and he sat outside just the night before with a drink and some paperwork and watched two episodes on his outdoor system (or whatever).

I felt the connection again as we discussed how Tony wields his power at the Pork Store and so forth,  but the TDH GC's energy was really down.  He seemed sad and he was being careful not to hold eye contact too long.  I remember thinking that the situation wasn't giving us the opportunity to build on what happened last time, and that he intended this to be the case.

I went out to the garage with him to check on how much paint we had left, and walked out to his truck with him and we chatted while he arranged some things here and there and then he came over to me and held his arms out for a goodbye hug. It was very warm outside and the sun was beating down on us as the clock ticked closer to noon.  I was standing on the curb, so suddenly I wasn't a short girl hugging him.  I was normal sized for a change, and because he was sort of bending down my face was right up against his.  Right cheek to right cheek.  So....I smooched his right cheek.  I couldn't help it, it just felt natural to do that.

Then the kissing started.  Right out there on the street, which was probably the safest place for us, or him, more likely, since it was far away from my fluffy cloud-like bed.  I was totally in the moment and sort of blacked out and didn't really stop and think about what we were doing and where we were until he stopped and was obviously very upset and told me he just couldn't do this.

SPOILER:  The TDH GC is married with a son.

Yep.  And I'm shocked now because he doesn't sound like he spends much time with his wife and certainly made his life sound single to me.  His wife didn't change her name, so she didn't show up in any exploratory Google searches I did months ago. I actually sort of know who she is and she couldn't be any more different than me.  She's the same nationality he is, so that is a familiar thing and they socialize with other couples who are the same, with intertwined lives and businesses.

He didn't do anything wrong.  He participated, but I pushed it.  I'll be honest, I'm kind of hard to resist right now.  I'm looking good all over, and I purposely wore cute clothes and was always sending "I LIKE YOU" vibes to him whenever I was around him, for at least the last month, anyway.

In a way it's a relief, because I was wondering why he didn't initiate some sort of outside date, because after all he's an Alpha Alpha Male who would not be scared to do that, and he clearly knew I was interested and seemed to appreciate so many things about me.  I am older than him, so thought that might be the problem.  But now I don't see it that way at all.  The problem is that he's not free to get involved with me, and if we did I don't think it would have been a "one and done" type of situation.  He's a good guy and doesn't want to make a mess of his life, I guess.  And I am a very understanding and forgiving person.  I told him that.  And it's true.

It makes things easy for me because now it's clearly over and I am going to move on and pursue other opportunities and directions.  I'm sort of peaking right now and I'm grateful to him for waking me up emotionally and making me interested in dating again.

BUT TODAY:  He asked me if I wanted the barn door installed today, on Thursday, or Friday.  I chose today and he told me he'd stop by to bring the door.  But today he pulled up outside and left the door leaning against the garage and then he left.  He didn't come to the door, but we would have been here alone again and what's the use of that at this point.

I'm not sad about that. I understand.  And I forgive.  And here I am with this sort of exciting story to tell about my summer renovation.  And he's so goddamned handsome with the kind of looks that will get better and better as the years go by.  Men are so lucky that way.

I have new projects I'm doing.  My closet is being installed soon and the bedroom walls and ceiling are being painted.  GET THIS:  An artist is coming over in the coming weeks to paint a mural on the trey ceiling in the the bedroom, a cloudy sky.  But a moody cloudy sky, not too cheerful, with lots of white fluffy clouds that will pick up the gray color on the walls (Sherwin Williams Dovetail).  That's why I want my bed to look like a fluffy white cloud.  And I have a new white ceiling fan being installed that looks like a prop airplane propeller.  So that will look cool against the cloudy sky.

I'm really going for it with these exciting changes, and then I'm going to step back and stop spending money like this.  (I just ordered a new dresser from Ballard Designs that is TO DIE FOR but won't ship until February, so that will be more money too.)  I'm not sure how the TDH GC will fit into the bedroom changes we already discussed, and the guy who installed the door today told me that the TDH GC will need to bring new handles for the door because the screws are too long or something like that.  I'm going to play it cool when and if that happens, but I'll bet he'll show up with one of the painters since they need to paint the door.

We need a chaperone now, apparently.  So I know it's not the happy ending that some of us hoped for, but it's rather fitting, in a way.  A summer romance that didn't really happen.  Just like this season of Big Brother that felt like it never really played out correctly to me.

OH, AND HERE'S THIS:   Anyone who says Friday the 13th is unlucky wasn't in my house that day.  I texted an old friend that I used to walk my dog with and asked how he was. He told me he and his dog miss me and my dog, and that he had a present for me if I would be able to meet him a few blocks away in about 10 minutes.  I thought he might have a picture of my dog and his dog together or something.  But it turned out that a member of his family suddenly passed away from mixing pills and alcohol while away on vacation recently, and it was my friend's task to stop by the house and do a sweep to remove anything embarrassing  (like porn, probably) but he ended up finding QUITE A BIT of weed and he gave it all to me.  I've never had this much weed at one time and it makes me a little nervous.  But I'm certainly appreciative of the gesture and put it in an old glass spaghetti sauce jar so my whole house won't smell dank.

So, the dead guy's weed is certainly numbing any pain that I might be feeling about the loss that I've just suffered.  There is symmetry to that, somehow.  And totally out of the blue.  So I truly will be floating on a cloud soon, after I press the Publish button and go downstairs to watch Cliff's live eviction. I truly will be out of my head before Cliff sits down to meet Julie Chen, and for that I am thankful.

I will try to post again before the end of the season.  Thank you for caring, ya'll.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

It's Just a Silly Phase I'm Going Through. #BB21

This season has turned into the season of Live Eviction Day Fireworks, hasn't it?  Ever since the explosive events of Day #44, each Thursday has given us something to watch and wonder about, perhaps due to the way the nominees have waited to start campaigning until Wednesday.  Or maybe because each week the players on the block really want to play the game.  And at this phase of the game, each of the remaining house guests gets paid another $5,000 if they make it through another eviction, so that helps them fight harder, too.

Before I start, please note the tribute that the house guests made out of Froot Loops on the ottoman below, to pay respect to the people who lost their lives and worked so hard to save lives on September 11, 2001.  Tommy said his dad used to work in the World Trade Center, but about a month before the tragedy his entire office moved to a new location (either in Connecticut or New Jersey).  That's rather chilling, isn't it?

Okay, so in the past few days it became clear that Cliff and Nicole planned to vote together to evict one of the nominees tonight, because if they didn't Jackson would be casting the tying vote as the current HoH.  But the choice of who to evict is a little more complicated, because keeping one over the other benefits either Cliff or Nicole, but not both.

It's better for Cliff to evict Tommy, but it's better for Nicole to evict Holly.

It seemed they planned to evict Holly, and Cliff started doing work with Jackson to let him know he planned to do what Nicole wanted to do, trying to grease the skids so Jackson wouldn't blame him after Holly leaves.  We can say many things about Jackson, but he's no Average Dumbass.  He wasn't going to just lay back and let Holly get evicted.  Because let's face it, Holly is the only one left in the house who is certain to take Jackson to the Final Two with her if she's the one making that important decision.

I'm not going to even pretend that I watched all of this happen last night on the live feeds.  I found this on Reddit this morning, thinking by the title that it was going to be a post about all of the food Jackson was shredding in the middle of the night.  While I would have enjoyed a complete a description of that, what I found was much more important.  I'm giving credit to the member of the Big Brother community who was on the case here, rather than trying to take credit as some other (***ahem***) Big Brother reporting organizations do.  And that's all I have to say about that.

I am waiting for the stragglers to send me their DAMN TAX INFO so we can file their business tax returns before the deadline this week, so I turned on the live feeds to see the fallout of Jackson's late night shenanigans.

Nicole and Cliff were whispering, going over every angle of the situation, seeming to believe that Tommy was playing them.  They even covered plans to go back to Jackson and tell him that they realized Tommy had been playing them, trying grease their own skids with him so he wouldn't be so angry about their plan to evict Holly.

I learned to use this phrase when I lived in New York.  Basically it means you are planning ahead to make things smoother.

They talked about many facets of the decision they need to make, including who on the Jury would be voting for Tommy to win, and also comparing the competition skills of both Tommy and Holly.  They discussed the type of competitions they would face in the remaining days of the game, and concluded that Tommy posed a bigger threat.  They know that Jackson leaving in the 4th spot needs to happen if the two of them want to win this season, but now they aren't sure if Tommy would actually evict Jackson if he has the chance, knowing full well that Holly wouldn't do that.  They have doubts now about Tommy's loyalty to them, so Jackson's evil little plan clearly had an impact.  And he knows it, too, smirking at the camera as the various events of this morning started to play out.

Cliff:  I think we might be overthinking this decision.  We're thinking about who would take us forward, when we might need to think about who we want to take with us.

Nicole:  Maybe we need to think about who we can beat in the competitions.  And that's Holly.

Cliff:  I'm thinking of this as a partnership, Nicole.  I'm looking to do what helps both of us get to the end, even though one or another option might benefit us better personally.

They discussed plans to confront both nominees separately, and what they would say, and also plans to have a group meeting to get everything out into the open.  As you probably know, the prospects of such a meeting are very, very exciting for all of the live feeders, no matter where their loyalties lie.  As they spoke, they started leaning towards not speaking privately with Tommy at all, and then Nicole got called into the Diary Room.

It's a bit irritating to me when Cliff starts his little speeches to the live feeders, because I am SO OVER him talking to his wife and dancing around all the time.  Okay, you can call me a bitch to say that, but I'm just being honest.  It just feels like a blatant Beg Fest to win America's Favorite Player.

But in this case he talked to us about how he's going to be a different person after all of this, and if we could see a brain scan right now, all of the thinking and strategizing he's been doing would light him up in a way it's never been.

Cliff:  I'm not going to betray Nicole here.  We're gong to work together on this.

Upstairs Jackson and Holly are in the HoH bed together, not really sleeping but just laying there, with Jackson clearly awake and already watching the Spy Screen.  Big Brother interrupted to ask Holly to get a new microphone or something, and she jumped up and wondered what they wanted from her....she was just laying there.

Clearly Production knows that some shit is about to go down, and they want all house guests to be mic'ed up and prepared for the fallout.  I had to step away for a moment, but when I returned Nicole was out of the Diary Room, and Tommy was in the RV talking to both Cliff and Nicole, his voice shaking with emotion as he tried his best to defend himself against what happened last night, which he might not have even been aware of until now.

We saw Holly with her ear to the door, listening.  Apparently Jackson was also listening to Cliff and Nicole's conversation last night, too, just like he was eavesdropping on Cliff's "Cliff Notes" conversations at the beginning of the season.  He even sensed when Cliff moved to the door to open it, and would scurry away before that happened and then return to hear more action.

Another view of Holly listening.  She's taking a backseat to Jackson's gaming right now, but he is a powerful ally, clearly, so even getting dragged to the end with him is better than going to the Jury, prize-wise, so it is in her best interest to let Jackson's dirty deeds pull her along at this point.

Tommy's voice is shaking as he denies Jackson's claims that the two of them are working together.

Tommy:  Why would it even make sense for me to do that?  I'm alone in this game right now!  Let's all meet and get it out in the open!  I have nothing to hide!

The tone of this conversation did feel as if Nicole and Cliff were re-thinking their decision, and maybe Tommy was the one who needed to stay in this game after tonight.  Maybe leaving the twosome of Holly and Jackson together in the game was a very bad idea, after all.

Nicole stood up and announced she wanted to call a House Meeting, but when Holly mysteriously appeared she said she'd speak with her first, before they started the group meeting.

Holly started saying that "Micky" filled her in on everything that he said to them last night, but blah blah blah blah blah.  She's not very good at negotiating and pleading her case, but then again, neither is Tommy.  Jackson is the one they need to be aware of, pulling the strings and yanking everybody's chain in there.

And then, just when everyone was primed and on the edge of their seats, waiting for the House Meeting, the feeds suddenly went down, first from FISH to the puppies, which always signals some lengthy behind-the-scenes action that the live feeders won't be allowed to watch.

This little puppy looks like he's sleeping in a spaceship, doesn't he?

And this little puppy looks like a Schauzer-Beagle mix, which tugs at my heart in ways you can't imagine.  If I lived anywhere in Southern California, I would have already called the shelter to get directions and let them know that I was coming for this little angel with the waggley tail.

I'm not ready to get another dog right now, so that is why I'm not looking at rescue websites or at shelter dogs.  Once you fall in love, they are coming home with you immediately.  I know that.  I still have two trips booked this fall (New York City, Washington DC) and two painting projects (master bedroom, main living area and loft) and a potential remodel of the powder room with the TDH GC, none of which are conducive to adopting a new doggie.

But once you fall in love, everything changes.  That's why I'm trying not to look.

Are you kidding me right now?


I was wracking my brain to think of a title for this post when it suddenly came to me.  And it's perfect. This is a very old song that topped the charts at one point, and was also on the soundtrack of The Virgin Suicides, and likely a few other movies over the years.  (Guardians of the Galaxy, maybe?  Didn't see it...)

How cute is David?  Let's not forget about David Alexander, please.  He's running loose in the Midtown area, where he apparently lives, so all of you ATL peeps should keep an eye open for him.


But this time, a happy one.  I have no new information yet about if there is damage to my new master bath (see discussion here at the end of this post), but I feel relieved and happy anyway.  I've been in limbo, waiting for the floor finishing guys to do their thing each day and then for the furniture to be moved back into place so I could see the fallout from the incident that happened over a week ago.

I don't usually go to the gym on weekday mornings, but since I was expecting the floor guys to visit sometime this afternoon to apply the third of three coats of whatever they put on the wood, and because I'm still waiting on some messy tax clients to follow through, I decided to walk down there bright and early to get a good workout in.   It never hurts to do that.  Well, sometimes there is pain afterwards, but the good kind.  I'm never sorry that I exercised, let's put it that way.

I was going through my weight routine, and thinking carefully about what I should do about the situation.  I was wondering how things would be if the floor team came on Friday to put my furniture back.

Thoughts like:

*  Will I be able to tell if there is damage or do I need help to do that?
*  When is the TDH GC going to appear and will his timing allow him to inspect the master bath for potential defects with me?
*  If I pay the floor guy the rest of the money I owe them, which he will surely ask for, how messy will things be if the TDH GC finds damages later?
*  Are the floor guys going to gang up on me again and be mean?
*  Am I going to start crying again in front of them?
*  Did the TDH GC forget about me now that he hasn't seen me for over one week?

And then something CRAZY happened.  If this was a movie, I would roll my eyes and think the screenwriter was one lazy bastard to take such a shortcut on the script.

GET THIS:  I was on the weight machine closest to the door of LA Fitness (tricep pressdown) in between sets and the OWNER OF THE FLOORING COMPANY walked in the front door, dressed to work out.  YES, that happened.

I watched him swipe his membership card and then move into the room, scanning the crowd and looking directly at me. He's a man, and they look at women.  And I was there, looking cute but with a baseball cap on so he didn't recognize me at first glance. And I'm usually wearing more clothes when he sees me, obviously.  I let a second or two go by, and then I gave him a big smile. I could see him thinking, hey, that girl is smiling at me, and then he realized who I was and probably wanted to turn around and run.

But to his credit, he didn't run.  He walked over and said hello.  I said I was glad to see him and mentioned the schedule for the week and referenced how upset and shocked I was when I saw him last.  He said he was sorry because they did what they always do, and didn't stop to think I might expect something different.

(Well, I TOLD HIM at the time what I expected, but there was no sense in bitching him out about it again.)

Me:  It was just a really bad situation for me.  You know that I have to have someone look at the bathroom after the furniture is removed to make sure it's okay, right?  You know I have to do that, right?

He nodded and I said I didn't want to have bad feelings with him and I'm sure the floors will look great, but I can't just take their word for it that everything is A-OK with my new bathroom and everything in it.  Then we parted ways and I continued my workout.  I was thinking that now if I didn't pay him the full amount I owe him, he would understand that I want to get someone to inspect for damages.  So I felt better about things.

I lost sight of the Floor Guy in the gym.  I know he had on a kelly green T-shirt, and I looked out of the corners of my eyes for him as I did the rest of my regularly-scheduled routine.  At one point I thought he must have left, or was hiding in there somewhere, but maybe he stepped outside to make some phone calls.  Because when I finished my workout and walked towards the front door, he suddenly appeared out of nowhere and told me that the finishing team would be at my house today between 2:30 and 3:30 to put on the final coat, so the furniture could be put back in place sometime on Friday.

So I thought to myself:  Self, don't be a chicken.  Talk to the TDH GC and tell him the schedule so he can maybe show up to deliver my barn door and inspect the damages at the same time.   I sat in a chair in the lobby of the gym and texted him to ask him to call me when he had a minute, because I had some news for him.

I pushed the button to send the text and walked outside, and I had just cleared the outside of the building when my phone rang.  It had been 20 seconds, tops, and the TDH GC called me back.  It was nice to hear his voice and I made sure to ask him about what is going on with him first, so everything isn't always about me.  Then he asked me if the news was bad, and I said I don't know, but something crazy just happened and I'm not sure what to make of it.

First I summarized what happened on Wednesday for him, since we had only texted about it. I told him that the way they treated me felt like a slap in the face and it was four-on-one and it felt really ugly.  I told him that I considered the Big Picture and it didn't make sense for me to go ballistic and ask them to move the furniture again, since they would be really angry about it and might not be so careful, and I was just going to have to wait to see what happens next.

(Not So Subtle Message #1:  I'm a cool, reasonable girl who tries to think before she acts.)

Then I told him about the Big Floor Guy coming over to me and kind of getting in my face about it, and how I then started to cry and lost the battle and the war when that happened.  I asked him if he knew about the "Upper Hand" and explained that the person who has the Upper Hand has the advantage in a situation, the most power, and is generally in control.  I told him that when I started crying I just threw away the Upper Hand and had to give up and go upstairs and let it all play out.

(Not So Subtle Message #2:  This situation was traumatic and I needed some help with it.)

(I didn't really cry, I just welled up with tears as I told you last time, but for simplicity in the conversation I told him I did. In person I would (and might) tell him about the lack-of-husband thought that took me there, but not over the phone. Just an instinct.)

When I mentioned that I started crying, he made a sound on his end of the phone. I was walking home and there was traffic and road noises, so I can't recreate that sound in my head, but hearing it was everything to me.  It bothered him.  He's that type of guy.  Just like I knew he was.  It's just easy to forget and have doubts when you don't see someone.  Texting loses flavor even when both parties speak the same first language, but I think it's even harder to communicate properly when there are different native tongues trying to talk to each other.

I told him that when the Floor Guy had to walk over to where I was sitting at the weight machine and talk to me, I took back the Upper Hand and described the conversation.  When I told him the furniture would likely be moved back on Friday, he disagreed with that immediately and started describing how the wood floor finishing process goes, saying the oak planks quickly soak up the first coats of finish, but the last coat absorbs slowly and is the most important.  It should be longer than 24 hours before I even walk on the new floors, he said, and up to a month before I put an area rug down.

He said he talked to the floor guys he uses (how I WISH I had used them instead...) and also said he could give me a number to call for the wood plank manufacturer if I wanted to double check that information.  Which of course, I don't.  I trust him 100%.  So I said that I would tell the Floor Guy that they can move the furniture back on Saturday, if they work on Saturdays, or they can come first thing Monday morning if that works better for them.  I have the Upper Hand again, and I am going to call the scheduling shots now.

The TDH GC told me that he will come by Monday to inspect the room and then said  "if you want me to do that" and then I knew that he really has no idea how I feel.  He knows I think he's hot, because he's very handsome, but he's not sure if he's reading me right, probably due in part to language differences and not wanting to offend me.  (Thank you reader Matt for explaining that to me....I think you may be right.)  He has to drop by both of his big jobs first, to get his workers pointed in the right direction, but then he's coming over.

So I feel great about  things now.  Even if there is damage, which I hope there is not, I know he's going to help me with it.  And I need to get my shit together and make myself a little clearer to him.

Since then, the floor finishing team came over this afternoon and did their thing.  Previously I said they were both hot as fuck, and they still are, but it turns out they are father and son (LOL).  They heard that I was at the gym with their boss today, and said the boss would be here to see me tomorrow, on Friday.  The son tried to tell me that the furniture could go back in after 24 hours, but I'm not going for that line of talk.  We need to wait another day, at least, because the TDH GC said so.  And he's in charge of them now.  They just don't know it.  I will gladly give the TDH GC any Upper Hand I have in this situation.

Wait until they get a load of the TDH GC, if they get to see him.  He can squash them like a bug.  Even the big one who got nasty with me.


Monday, September 9, 2019

The Challenge: Go Cry About It Why Don't You. #BB21

I finally saw something on the live feeds that I feel inspired to write about, so I'll just go ahead and shirk my real duties for a little while today to blow off some steam here.  I'm sure I will enjoy writing once I get going and blab about other BB topics.  I have two unfinished posts since the last one but I feel like it's too late to go back and cover old topics. 


Nicole is finally having her time to shine, and in the past week has done the following:  

1.  Nicole won the all-important HoH competition during the Double Eviction episode.

2.  Nicole had the grit and gumption to put both Tommy and Christie on the block during those stressful moments, assuring Tommy that he was safe and Christie was the target.  And after many, many weeks of sitting in those nomination chairs and wiggling her way out, Christie was evicted during the Double at the hands of Nicole.

3.  Nicole won the BB Comix PoV, to be televised this upcoming Wednesday, assuring her place in the Final Four and making her BB21 resume as deserving as anybody's to make the case to win the money.  

You may recall that everyone has been crowing about how Jackson has won so many competitions, but out of his three HoH reigns, he used his power the first two times to evict Analyse and then Jessica, hardly big targets in anybody's eyes.  And his third HoH, the one playing out right now, looks like it's going to result in an eviction nobody could see coming just a few days ago.


I have some tax returns to do right now, so when I settled down at my desk to get cracking on them, the house guests were all sleeping, so I flashed back to last night and to my surprise the live feeds were crackling with tension and unresolved anger.

Holly will be happy to know that she's getting the star treatment here, with constant close-ups on two camera views at one time.  The late summer air in the backyard was filled with energetic conversation and laughs, but one look at the close up of Holly's face and the way she jiggled the left leg of her Forever 21 (or whatever) fashions told me that she was in mental distress, and was about to blow.

I feel for Holly.  I really do.  We've all been there, so mad about something someone we love (or think we love) does, and wanting so badly for them to acknowledge it, to turn their attention to you and at least admit they realize you're upset, maybe even to apologize or just do something sweet to get things back on track.

But not Jackson.  Nope.  I must have heard him slip "I'm 24 years old" into his chatter with Tommy, Nicole and Cliff at least five times, really turning the screws on her as the Zingbot's totally-shitty "Old Buzzard" comment rings in Holly's ears.

(By the way, Holly Allen was 24 when she was Miss Wyoming as you see in the picture at the top of the post.)

And Jackson's energetic participation in the conversation was totally passive-aggressive, knowing full well that what he was saying was designed to hurt Holly too, just adding to the list of things she is going to cry about later.  I'm totally sensitive to Holly's plight here, but I am going to talk about it anyway.

(Holly, when you read this, please know that I have NEVER been a Jackson fan and wish you would have played the game without him, or that you had PLAYED HIM and made a name for yourself outside of just being his emotional punching bag.  It is so hard to break out of our own bad patterns, though. This much I know.)

Holly turned to give Jackson a look, saying something like, "I know how these things go", and I learned shortly afterwards what it was she is upset about.  But until then, it was Nicole's night tonight, and all three men in the house took turns talking about what a great person she is, so deserving of all of the best things in life and what an utter joy she is to spend time with.

Tommy talked about how he's sure his brother is already in love with Nicole, saying he will set them up and she can be Nicole Bracco.  Nicole thought he was teasing her but he swore he is being truthful, that his brother has lighter hair and is taller, and he thinks Nicole will love him.

Nicole's school has "super hero" days, and she always dresses like Robin for them.  Jackson asked if he can visit and "be Batman" but Nicole says no, her sister is always Batman, and the other sister is Batgirl.   Then Jackson got really extra, and I mean REALLY EXTRA, telling Nicole in at least three different turns of phrase that she is one of the best people he's ever met, and he is so thankful to have gotten to know her this summer and how he would let her teach his own children without a second thought, and would be happy to have someone like her in his life forever.

Then Jackson started talking about how Nicole is invited to visit him in Nashville, and how she will love it and the people there will love her, too.  He said he wants to take a road trip with her to Knoxville, and what fun it will be and how she will love it, blah blah blah.

(I was ready to punch his smarmy face for you, Holly.  What a dick this guy is.)

And let's not forget that Holly is virtually positive she will be sitting on the block on eviction night now that Nicole has the power to save either Tommy or Cliff (she saved Cliff) and that she only needs two votes to get sent to the Jury House where she can cry and cry and cry and not worry about having to reapply her makeup immediately.  (In the Jury House the camera crew visits are rather infrequent, and probably pre-scheduled to keep labor costs low.)

Tommy made a comment at one point that he would be "ordained" by then, or something like that so he would be able to officiate ceremonies.  Jackson really piled on then, saying that he wanted Tommy to officiate his own wedding, for sure, absolutely, being so loud and extra about it.  At one point he even repeated at least twice that he was only one year older than Sys, making the comparison about how much of life he still had to look forward to.

Jackson:  I'm only 24!

Holly:  Touche.

(Holly I would love to march in there and make Jackson CRY with just a few sentences for  your benefit.  Trust me on that.  He's a big fucking BULLY, and I don't throw that word around very often.  But the live feeders know that Jackson is probably the most FUCKED UP person in that house.  And you want to talk about FOOD ISSUES?  And MOMMY ISSUES?  And IMPULSE CONTROL and ANGER issues?  The list goes on....)

It became clear that the root of this performance by Jackson, and the misery of Holly, was based on Jackson announcing that he planned to be on The Challenge, which obviously angered Holly.  But I have to wonder if Holly really cares about this dick enough to want to continue a relationship with him outside of the house, or if the embarrassment of being clowned by him on the live feeds, and likely the CBS show is what is driving her sadness.  Maybe both.  And I'm sure she wanted to play out the role of the "BB showmance" on social media after the season ends.  Not a chance of that now.

After Jackson mentioned Tommy officiating his wedding, Holly erupted in a tension-filled tirade, but a quiet one, right there in front of the cast.

Holly:  Maybe Tommy can do your wedding to the girl you meet on The Challenge!  A really fun girl you meet there!  A girl who will have to break up with her boyfriend after The Challenge is filmed!

(We already know that Cliff is a semi-expert on The Challenge, so I hope he gets a chance to discuss this situation on Rob Has a Podcast later, when he co-hosts a Challenge podcast to recap a Challenge episode.  Maybe even a Challenge episode featuring Jackson.)

(Look on the bright side Holly.  Offers are probably being prepared RIGHT NOW to get you two on the next season of Ex on The Beach.)

Cliff and Tommy have been eating some food that has been laid out on the pool table, buffet style.  It looks like they got catering from somewhere, or maybe they cooked it, but there was a lot of it and it looked delicious.

Holly approached the table and did what we've all done when we're upset, one way or another.  But not on camera.  Not with people watching. 

No utensils.  No plates.  Just hands and a hunger that is hard to fill.  You can eat and eat but you can't get to the bottom of those type of feelings.

I don't think she was even comfortable holding the piece of chicken in her hand to nibble on.  She just housed the whole thing in an attempt to destroy the evidence and then tried to chew it up as best as she could.

LOOK:  I think you might be able to put most women into one of two groups:  those who get upset and eat, and those who can't even begin to chew and swallow when they are shaken to the core emotionally.  One time in my mid-20's I went to my favorite sports bar in Florida with my best friend on a College Football Saturday to socialize and watch our team play.  The waitress had just delivered my burger and fries when a guy who I had been dating for almost a year came in the bar with a big rowdy group to sit at a huge round table that had been reserved to watch the FSU game.  I was so hurt that he didn't ask me to go with him that day that I couldn't take one bite of my food.  It just sat there, getting cold while I watched S_____ W_____ whoop it up front and center in front of the biggest TV screen in the standing-room-only bar.  There was a couple sitting next to us at the bar who were passive-aggressively mocking me for not eating, making jokes about it loudly enough that we could clearly hear them.  First they openly speculated if I was anorexic, and the guy made jokes about how I was going to eat it all during the commercial and then go throw up.  (Back then it was A-OK to say things like this to people, apparently.)  My friend ended up getting so pissed at them on my behalf that she said, "how would you feel if you knew she just had chemo!" and the couple felt so bad they paid for our tab.  At least that's something.  We left before S_____  W_______ even knew I was in there.  And when he asked me a few days later if I watched the game I just said yes.  In retrospect I've learned that it's often much worse to not tell them that you're upset than to just gloss over it like nothing happened.  Because something did happen and ignoring it won't help.

(I'm so sad now just thinking about the saga of that whole relationship.  How OBSESSED I was with  him and how long it dragged on and on, with me clinging to the sweet things he said and did, thinking those things would make up for all of the bad things.  But no, they didn't.  I don't think they ever do, but I'm certainly not the expert on that.)

Jackson was just loving all of this.  So cruel.  Clearly enjoying it.

Holly went inside and lurked around in the kitchen area until Jackson came in and came over to act like he didn't know she was upset, and didn't know what she could be angry about.  Holly started to talk about it and heard the cameras spin to watch, briefly flickering her eyes over to us before semi-whispering that she just knows what goes on at those Challenge shoots, and what kind of people and relationships you find there.  She said she's only been on this one reality show, and it is an honor to be on it, but that the scene on most reality shows is pretty predictable, and she knows that.

Jackson:  That would be like me saying I don't trust any social media influencers though.

(Is THAT how she describes herself?  Go home to Wyoming Holly and find a cowboy who will worship you, because this situation is BULLSHIT.)

Then Jackson tried to eat his own bottomless pit of feelings, first with what I assume were watermelon chunks, and then an aggressive round of snack-shredding in his HoH room, with jerky and crackers and maybe some other foods, crunching and swallowing, so pleased with himself.


Before I move on I will point out the title of this post comes from a John Mayer song about a break up.  And that is John playing the guitar, of course.  So talented and smart.  I didn't get the letter I sent to him returned yet, so maybe he will receive it and read it someday.  Maybe it's sitting in a big Dumpster of dead letters.  Maybe somebody at the post office saw who the envelope was addressed to, saw that it was a fairly thick envelope and thought I sent some nude pictures and opened it.  Trust me, that DID NOT happen. Not my style, baby.


You know by now that Tommy confessed to Holly and Jackson that he knew Christie outside the house, right?  It just sort of slipped out in the HoH room while Holly and Jackson were verbally SHREDDING Christie, but it didn't seem to make a huge impact on anything.  Tommy said that Christie's ex-girlfriend was  his aunt, but a different one than in his HoH pictures.  He was very upset and they comforted him while the feeds went to FISH.  The live feeders were so upset about losing the feeds during this Important Moment, but I'm sure the topic of casting came up and they didn't want us to hear it.  I'm sure Tommy wanted to make it clear that he didn't know Christie would be there and what an unpleasant shock it was for him. Both Jackson and Holly promised Tommy that they wouldn't say anything about it to anyone.

When I took this picture Tommy was listening to the house guests talk shit about what a horrible person Christie is, with some good points thrown in.

Holly:  Trust me, I'm going to have a laundry list of issues to talk to Christie about when I leave here.

Cliff:  I don't know.  She didn't go after me like she did you guys.  I saw the fan in her and I saw the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about this game, and I respected her for that.

Jackson:  I respected her ferocity, and how she went after things to win this game.  But when things got personal, that's when I lost respect.

=====>  Now that Tommy is on the block sitting next to Holly, will she use his information about Christie against him?  Will she point out that Tommy has an automatic vote from Christie if he makes it to Final Two, scratching and clawing to keep her place in the game?  Now THIS situation is worth watching, suddenly.  I hope Tommy is prepared with counter-arguments for that possibility.  I'd like to see Tommy FIGHT DIRTY, but I know many of the BB fans don't like the Dastardly Deeds like I do.

I'll say it again:  I LOVE CHRISTIE.  The only thing predictable about her is how unpredictable she was.  I know she told lies left and right and angered most if not all of the pre-jury players, and most of the jury, too, but she was so fun to watch and when I step back and look at her trajectory in this game, it really is amazing.

In the early weeks, this bitch RAN THE HOUSE and all of you were complaining that Christie was going to win, and this season was so boring.  Well, it's boring now, bitches.  Christie was like a fuse that got lit and we all waited with our fingers in our ears for the explosion.  She made this season for me and I loved watching her.

And I think it's important to note for cultural reasons that the fact that she is a lesbian was such a non-factor in anything.  The only reason why the house guests discussed that topic at all was due to Jack's unrequited attraction for her or if she brought the topic up herself.

===>  CBS needs to do whatever they need to do to keep from losing her to MTV.  Put her and Tommy on The Amazing Race.  Put her on Love Island.  Put her somewhere where we can watch her on Network Prime Time before she gets marked down to Expanded Basic Cable.

(Sorry, MTV Challenge players and fans who follow me.  But you know what I mean. The paychecks and viewership vary widely.)


The artist who does the BB Comix also drew the BB Flix posters and published a few on Twitter for us to get a closer look.

What?  Who?  "For Adults"?


You can tell the artist is a Nicole fan.  And he knew Sam would be a good sport about this type of thing.

And the artist is an Ovi fan as well.

Cliff with his hand motions and that damn owl.  Cliff has been talking NON STOP about how BIG Nicole is going to be on social media after this season, saying he's going to learn how to use Instagram from his kids and then he'll teach Nicole so they can both interact with all of their adoring fans.

Cliff is pumping up Nicole here, but clearly he's projecting a little about his own social media assumptions.

While we're here, I might as well post this interesting snippet of conversation I found Twitter.

I thought Swaggy C's appearance on the show was.......interesting.  I'll just say that.  And wasn't the story that the two of them "bought a house" somewhere near her home town?  And now that they've "moved to Los Angeles", what does that tell us?

I think Bayleigh's expression says it all here.

I'm posting this because of the braids....maybe focusing on the competition questions instead of the Frontier Land Dorothy pigtail placement might have been a better idea, particularly in light of what will happen to Holly on Thursday night.

(Pssssstt.... she's getting evicted on Jackson's HoH reign, ya'll.)

The Golden Couple just keeps on shining, ya'll.  I love Tangela.  I'm guessing Tyler was the one to hurl the ball, maybe with Angela out there with him on the pitcher's mound.  I didn't see any news about the pitch, or hear anything about how it might have flown through the air on the way to home plate.

Any news on that?  Any footage for us?


Angela threw the ball!  And Tyler caught it right over home plate!  Thank you Obsidiandog for sending me this link with some great pictures courtesy of @tangelamoments, the premiere spot for news about our favorite BB20 Love Couple.

Hey Angela:  RESPECT.  You won it all, hon.


I know some of you have been waiting for news on the TDH GC.  I wish I had some news, but I still have construction-related drama that just won't seem to go away.

The TDH GC started two new jobs this week, both well into the six figures so that is a big deal for him.  Both projects involve full-floor or basement renovations, with walls being torn down, windows being moved or enlarged, etc.  And both are on the other side of town so he couldn't visit me last week like he planned.  He was just coming over to deliver a barn door, but when he said that we were doing the Staring Thing giving each other The Eyes and all, so it probably wasn't a realistic plan.

One of the things I admire about him is how ambitious he is and how he turns his full attention to the work that is being done in his name.  In the end he is responsible for how things look and how they are done and most importantly, how his team conducts themselves.   He works with high-end clients who are going through the same disruption and feeling of invasion that I went through, so he has to be on-site a lot in the beginning during demolition and the major planning around the plumbing fixture placement and the tile design plans and so forth.  One of the big clients is a repeat customer who wants him to renovate the entire basement floor, and the other is a new client so that is a lot in one week.

Even if he was my official boyfriend or whatever at this point (which of course he is not), I'm not sure I could have bothered him this week with what happened over here on Wednesday with The Italians who turned out not to be Italians, after all.  I misjudged their ethnicity.  I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but if the floor guys were Italian, things might be going better, because in my experience Italian guys like women.  And the guys who were actually here clearly do not.  At least, not women like me.

This is what they were hired to do, put down red oak 3" wood floors in the master bedroom.  They put the wood down last Wednesday and are coming here tomorrow (Tuesday) for the first of three days of staining and putting on some sort of top coat.  Then on Friday the 13th (not a good omen) they will likely return to put my furniture back.

Which brings us to the problem.  The problem that ruined Wednesday for me.

(Those are new paint colors I'm testing over there on the left wall.  I love the cocoa color of the current walls, but I need to make a change to gray tones so the room flows better into the new master bath, the one I've spent so much time and energy and MONEY on.)

The Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers shoved all of my bedroom furniture into the newly-renovated bathroom and closet.  And this is after I TOLD THEM to put everything into the garage.  And last week the TDH GC even swept out the garage himself for me, I found later, because he knew that my bedroom furniture was going to be stored in there.  That is so sweet to me.  (I think Acts of Service (or whatever) might be one of my Love Languages.)

(And also maybe because I "joked" with one of his workers the day before that I wanted him to move the "tile graveyard" leftover from this project to a shelving unit so I could make space in the garage for my "new boyfriend" to park his car.)

(And this might also be the reason why the TDH GC pointed out the kitchen sink granite cut-out that has been leaning against that side of the garage for years now and asked if I wanted him to take it away so I'd have more room available on that side of the garage.  OMG did they talk about what I said?  I didn't mention the "new boyfriend" to the TDH GC, that's for sure.  I'd like to think he knows I was referring to him, but both of these guys have different native languages so I'm learning that some things are lost in translation if you don't get to say it to them in person.)

===>  Basically the TDH GC and his team installed the glass shower doors, cabinet doors, and also the new barn-style WC door (with full length mirror on it) and the closet doors as the very last step, so they wouldn't scratch or be harmed in any way.  And a painter also returned  last Wednesday so the TDH GC could point out touch ups that needed to be done and other minor things.  And now these Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers just casually shoved shit in there and were mystified that I had the gall to say anything to them about it.

I was sitting at a table where I sometimes eat breakfast, waiting to see these guys carry furniture out of the bedroom but when too much time passed without seeing that, I walked in and was SHOCKED that they did this.  One of them kept saying "I didn't scratch anything" and I just kept responding "I don't know that" and told them I was shocked about this and that I told him when he first got there that the garage was half-empty and waiting for them to put the furniture there.  Then one of the little bastards said I was being rude TO HIM and he was going to call his boss and I said, NO PROBLEM, ask him to call me when you're done.

I went back to my table and just sat there, waiting with my half-eaten Silk yogurt cup.  Then the boss called me and said he was the one to tell them to use the master bath for furniture storage and he was sorry.  But note that he DID NOT plan to move it to the garage, because "this was easier".  He later visited and told me he was worried that moving the big pieces would "damage the paint job" in the hallway.

(LIKE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A GALLON OR TWO OF PAINT AT THIS POINT.  I told him that I planned to have the downstairs painted next anyway and he didn't even get what I was trying to say.)

I told him that maybe one of the reasons why I was so shocked is that I just spent two months with guys in my house that were respectful to both me and my house every day they were here, and this type of treatment was like a slap in my face.  If one of my clients said that TO ME about the work that I do, I would be VERY concerned and would ask follow up questions.  But not this guy.

After I spoke with the boss on the phone, but before he came to visit me, one of the Non-Italian Floor MotherFuckers, the biggest one, came over to where I was sitting and loomed over me with a very angry face saying "YOU GOOD?  YOU GOOD?" and I didn't even know how to answer that, or even if he would understand me if I did tell him how I was "good or not good".  His face looked like the mugshot of a man who would strangle you, the last thing you'd see before you let go of life.

HERE'S WHERE I GAVE UP:  While this ugly buffoon kept asking me if I was good, I sort of escaped mentally and drifted off, and I allowed a particular thought to flow through that I knew wasn't a good idea.  I knew it was going to get me, but I did it anyway.  I thought, "if I was married right now, the type of man I would choose would just take this problem from me and take care of it", and then of course my eyes filled up with tears and my lower lip started shaking.  The Non-Italian Floor MotherFucker saw that and smirked before turning his back and walking away.  I didn't cry because he wasn't nice about it...all girls know that when you are upset and someone says something sweet, that is when you really start bawling.  But seeing tears well up in my eyes meant that I'd lost the battle and the war.  All I can do now is wait until maybe Friday the 13th (OMG) to see if there is damage that now needs to be fixed.

So even though the TDH GC WOULD be concerned about this problem, and WILL be involved with helping to solve it if there are indeed issues, there was nothing he could do about it at the time, no matter how much I wanted someone like him to step in and help me.  After I gave up and came upstairs to sit at my desk and pretend to work, I texted the TDH GC and told him I went "Full Julie" on the floor guys and the boss had to come over and handle me.  (Julie is one of his clients that has given him a very hard time and lots of grief this summer, in direct comparison with me.)

The meaning of that text wasn't clear (see translation issue mentioned above) so I had to explain and just ended up dropping the subject because I knew he had plenty to worry about already.  We had a similar issue months ago when I texted him after the shower tile first started going up that the shower was going to be "so swanky" and it turned out that he thought that was a complaint.  He came over the next morning and told his guys he needed to talk to me because I wasn't happy.  I was like "WHAT?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT HAPPY?" and we cleared it up and then were both happy about it. He had to remind me that English is not his first language, even though he attended college in the US.  (I had to explain what "procrastinate" means the other day.)

Last night he was texting me and wanted to know when he should schedule someone to install the door this week.  I told him that the floor guys' work schedule currently indicates the door couldn't be installed until the following week, and I better explained the reason why I was upset, that the floor guys didn't even listen to me about where I wanted the furniture to be stored, and that they were mean to me about it, the opposite of how respectful and gentle the TDH GC's team was.  And that I was shocked and took pictures in case there is damage to consider.

So he said he hated to hear that and wants me to keep him posted.  And he will come by with the door this week sometime.  So now I'm just waiting.  I start to have doubts as time goes on, but when he's here and I get his full attention I feel very differently.  When I read back some of these posts, I remember and it was real.  I'm not imagining things that really happened, so in that sense sharing the details here has been important.