Saturday, August 18, 2018

Stupid Is As Stupid Does. #BB20

Well, if you told me in advance what would happen if Fessy won the HoH competition this week, I wouldn't have believed you.  I would think you were just another internet troll with too much time on your hands.  But once again The Alliance That Sucks just keeps on living up to their lofty image.  Could it be the worst alliance in Big Brother history?


Didn't you think Fessy was going to take a shot at his primary adversaries?  Like Tyler and Angela?  You know, players on the opposing side of the game who are quite capable of winning competitions?


SPOILER ALERT:  No he didn't. Instead of targeting his actual enemies, he nominated Brett and Scottie for eviction.  Yes, the two guys who he thinks were working with him last week.  And even though Brett is the lying snake in this situation, Brett is the one Fessy believes truly voted to evict Kayee last week.  Fessy thinks Scottie was the turncoat, and it is Scottie that he'd like to see leave the game this week.

And here are the two final nails in Scottie's BB coffin in Fessy's eye's, as I see it.

1.  After a great night of celebrating in the HoH room, Haleigh and JC were wasted after splitting a bottle of wine.  (Fessy doesn't drink, as a Muslim.)  Scottie came up to visit and as he was leaving the room, halfway out the door, he told Haleigh "I love you".  She said "I love you too", and then Scottie said, "are you coming downstairs?", as if they planned to go to sleep together.

2.  After a LONG day of waiting around for nominations to take place, the house guests and the live feeders were getting antsy.  We knew what Fessy was going to do, and Level 6 knew what Fessy's plans were, too, because JC was INSTRUMENTAL in putting the nomination ideas into Fessy's head, and reported right back to Tyler afterwards.  But Production waited all day to hold the noms, until Scottie made his way up the HoH to plead his innocence about last week's vote. And Scottie is the innocent party (this time, anyway).  He pointed out so many important factors to prove that Brett and Kaycee were liars, and it seemed like Fessy was taking it all in, and maybe reconsidering.  But then Scottie had to throw in some conversation he had where people were talking about how "smitten" Scottie was with Haleigh.

And that was all Fessy needed to hear.  He got called to the Diary Room to start the nomination process, putting Scottie's ass on the block next to Brett, who will likely make another blockbuster eviction speech if he stays on the block.  (And he will, if Level 6 wins the PoV.)

Scottie's sister is LIVID.  She's not going to allow Scottie to have any play dates with any of the monsters in the house.  And props to her for finding a really good picture of him for her tweet.


And Rachel has turned out to be a real fan, and a good sport about her role in this great season.


Even Steve was paying attention last night, disgusted by what he saw, and wondering where it all went wrong.



It's WAY too early to start writing checks to anybody though, especially Tyler.  Tyler and Angela are going to be targeted before the non-Level 6 players are all in the Jury, I predict.  They have become a strong twosome, and I think Tyler's best chance to win is if she gets evicted. It's an easy vote for him in Jury, and it will take a little pressure off.  Maybe next week Tyler will get to use his Cloud Power App in the last week he can use it, leaving Angela on the block as the biggest target in the house.

I'm just making this up, of course.  But it's a strong possibility if Level 6 keeps losing HoH comps.  And now that I've mentioned it, let's pause for a Tangela moment.

***WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TANGELA***

I'm sure we'll have a Tangela segment on the Sunday CBS episode.  They're just too photogenic and polite to each other in their courting ritual to leave on the cutting room floor.  So yes, they are attracted to each other.  And yes, they cuddle together while they sleep and even hold hands in the middle of the night. But now they are showing signs of  looking towards the future, having those tentative discussions that could make or break a long term situation.

Future Goals -  Tyler asked her what her goals in life are, and Angela said she wanted to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.  If you've seen her professional bikini photos, that seems like a real possibility to me.  But what about after that?, Tyler wanted to know.  Angela didn't have any big concrete plans, other than saying she wanted to own a home, and not have to pay rent anymore.  But what about your goals, Tyler?, Angela asked.  Tyler said he'd like to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Body issue, then saying he couldn't steal her goal like that.  He said he wanted to travel around, and maybe start a business that would keep the oceans clean, and also just enjoy being famous from Big Brother.  So I think they are compatible on this aspect, since they both seem to have no plans, or any discernible anguish over it.


Past Relationships - Yesterday Tyler asked Angela if she thinks "that pole vaulter guy from before" will start coming around after the show is over.  She said, "yeah, probably" and then said "he has another baby on the way....did I already tell you that?".  And Tyler said "yeah, but I didn't realize that was the same guy", as the cameras quickly shifted to another room.  When the cameras returned, Tyler said, "so, you were already a stepmom", and Angela said "yeah, and he had his college friends come home with him.." and the cameras quickly moved away again to give this obviously-cheating-no-good-former-boyfriend some privacy.  So, it sounds like Angela had a complicated situation when she came in the house, but it's clear that she feels free to pursue whatever she'd like.  And maybe that is Tyler Crispen.


Meeting the Family - Angela has invited Tyler and JC to stay at her apartment in LA before they go home. JC gave up his apartment before coming in the house, so he'll need to find a new place to stay, and Tyler said he gave up his apartment before he came out to California, living in his car for two weeks to save some money.  They are calling Angela's apartment the "Halfway House", and now Haleigh claims she is going to stay there, too.  I've watched enough seasons of BB over the years to know these type of post-season plans don't always work out.  But Tyler will definitely be in the Halfway House, saying that he can't wait to also visit Angela's house in Hilton Head, to meet her parents.  I'll go live in Angela's old bedroom, he says.

They also discussed people that they both might know, including Angela's friend Katherine, who likes to go out and is usually the life of the party in Hilton Head.  Tyler said he would probably recognize her if he saw her, and Angela says she is certain Tyler knows Katherine's brother, who works at "H2O Water Sports", and is "the hairy guy who works there".  Tyler hasn't been to that store in a while, but he's sure he's met that guy, too.


And the BB fans all want Tangela to happen.  They do seem well-suited for each other.  They both have a healthy lifestyle, enjoy the outdoors, and have similar personality types.  Tyler even said that if he sees the BB fans come for Angela or the other Level 6 players on Twitter, he's not going to stand for it.  (I don't know how Tyler thinks he's going to stop the trolls, but it's a nice sentiment.)




Kaycee had two different costumes for her first costume punishment, and Tangela modeled them, admitting they looked like they came from a Dr. Seuss book.  Production didn't like this, because it would be confusing to the casuals, so they told them to take the costumes off.  And Kaycee ended up getting screwed, because after this stunt Production took one of the costumes away from her, leaving her with only one.

Kaycee:  And I only have one peanut costume now...the crappy one for the swimming pool...they better give me the good peanut costume back.


I missed the first night of the live feeds, which I'm still pissed about, but it was all there the first day, apparently. I bet they were shouting out Hilton Head in these pictures.


Even Tyler's home team had to acknowledge the budding romance.  The good news is that Angela can make his family her Granny Dot's cookies when she visits.  So it's a Thing.  Tangela is a Thing.  Thing One and Thing Two, if you take a few sips from your cocktail and look at the picture above, in the Rainbow suits.


*****

So yeah, Fessy is a big dumb oaf.  In this game, at least.  He's what Jeremy McGuire could have been, if he didn't get the boot so quickly from BB15.  Fessy was posted up listening to his Drake CD while Haleigh's in the shower, bobbing his head and showing us his family's picture.  You've got to love Fessy for being so real.  I know exactly who Fessy is and I love him for that.  He's going to lose this game, but we'll remember him.


And Scottie was clearly REELING, knowing he's caught in a trap that will be hard to get out of.  I watched him make his customary tuna dinner, people walking through the kitchen without speaking to him, and it was sad.  I feel for him.  You can feel his pain.  Scottie sat at the chessboard, saying over and over that the "white piece needs to leave".


And because he's Scottie, once he knew the cameras were watching, he resorted to song lyrics.

Scottie, whispering:  In spite of my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

Yep, you are Scottie.  You need to find a way to gnaw yourself out of there today during the PoV, or your game is over.

(I LOVE Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins. I broke up with someone I really loved in the San Diego airport one time before getting on a redeye flight back home and listened to Eva Adore on repeat for at least half the five-hour flight. Crying and drinking free booze in my complementary first class upgrade seat. What a KICKASS tune. If you can't feel the feels at the 2:02 minute mark, you need to check yourself, and make sure you don't need a reboot.)


The Zingbot is coming to the house today, and the PoV is the Hide & Go Veto comp, where the house gets absolutely TRASHED.  The feeds will be down for hours, and we will see lots of cleanup later on the live feeds.


Tyler and Brett found time to meet alone in the middle of the night and were like "DUDE.  I can't believe that worked."  Basically Fessy called a late house meeting after winning HoH and asked point blank who voted Kaycee out.  Who was the one person to do that?   Scottie immediately put his hand up, but then Brett took a gamble, saying "Fuck it" and put his hand up too.  Then there was some BAD acting on Kaycee's part as she feigned rage at Brett for doing that to her.

Brett and Tyler just can't believe it, and know they have JC to thank for the HUGE assist in pushing Fessy in this direction.


They strategized for the PoV player pick, trying to figure out who to pick, and when, if Brett gets to choose first and can pick someone as his house guest choice.


They discussed who they think JC will nominate if he wins HoH, and who Fessy would nominate if the PoV is used to pull Scottie off the block.

Brett:  It's going to be one of us leaving, if that happens.

===>  Not if Tyler is sitting comfortably on his Cloud App.  Tyler feels safe because Fessy told both him and Angela that he respected them, knew they were clearly working on the other side of the house, but would not be targeting them.  But Brett said Fessy told him just last week that he would never nominate or backdoor him, and now Brett is on the block, so he's not confident Tyler is safe.


You may have noticed that the Have Not program seems to be cancelled this summer, which has been great for the live feeders.  Everyone has more energy to live and compete, and that Have Not room has been a key location, since the rule is that the door must always be closed.  Sam was complaining that she wanted it to be her own special place, but it's way too crowded in there with all of the meetings that take place.


The clever fans are making a mockery of what is left of Foutte, and having fun doing it.


If it doesn't fit, you must evict.


***SCENES FROM AFTER THE LIVE SHOW ENDED***

JC and Haleigh both got ripped, as discussed earlier in this post, and made fun of Fessy all night.

JC:  Fessy actually looks good in this picture. I would hit on him instead of Tyler if he looked like this.


Fessy:  I told ya'll I was looking crispy when I came in this house.

Fessy told Haleigh to put on her Swaggy C shirt after the HoH comp ended, saying Swaggy got cut in week two, so they should give him some publicity.  Brett later told Tyler that when he saw that, he suspected Fessy might go after Scottie, since he wore Swaggy's shirt when he voted him out that week.


Haleigh:  He looks so clean.  Like a guy who would stop and help you fix your flat tire.


This is around the time that Scottie left the room, telling Haleigh he loved her and inviting her to go downstairs with him.  A few days ago I watched a conversation where Fessy asked him about his claims of never kissing a girl.

Fessy:  Are you like, asexual?

Scottie:  No.  I just like to have an emotional component before I do something like that.

Fessy:  I agree.  You should have that. But you've never had that feeling, and tried to kiss someone?

(I've seen some fans say that Scottie might be gay, and not even realize it, but I don't know what is going on with him.  He clearly is infatuated with Haleigh. but seems to have none of the usual reactions that a man his age should or would have with her.  He talks in baby talk, and reverts to saying such strange things.)


PoP TV left a basket full of goodies in storage for the house guests, with a note saying Orwell knows that they are all sore from the competition, so this was a present to help them.

(But we already learned yesterday that management of PoP TV was LIVID that the competition ended so soon..)


Everyone gathered around to see the coconut water and cold compresses that were in the basket, along with a large container of lotion that is the same kind Haleigh uses.


Haleigh and JC were buzzed, tearing into a box of Cheezits, looking down over Fessy's kingdom, as the commoners enjoyed their free goodies.


Haleigh was surprised that Fessy's mom was "so blonde".  Fessy said his mother is six feet tall, and his dad is 5'10".

JC:  Oh, your mom is taller than your dad?

Fessy: My dad is the triple OG.  (whatever that means)

Fessy said his sister would love Haleigh.  And I'm sure she already does.


Fessy enjoyed listening to Drake while he soaked in the tub. He even held a few of his meetings like that, which probably won't work out any better for him than Haleigh's bathtub meeting did.


It's easy to forget where you are up there, I think, since it seems like you have so much space to work with.  The days of having a bathroom door ended after BB15, I think.  It used to be easy for someone to hide in that bathroom and eavesdrop on the HoH's meetings.  But it's a little harder now, even though Tyler hid behind Sam's bed while she held one of her HoH meetings.  Tyler had to sneak downstairs afterwards, and he and Sam laughed while he crawled out to the landing on his stomach.


But now Tyler makes sure he is clearly visible on that Spy Screen, being productive in the kitchen and definitely NOT looking sneaky, or worried. Even though Angie Rockstar BLASTED him in her eviction speech, telling THE ENTIRE HOUSE that the threesome of Tyler, Angela and Kaycee was going to beat everybody if they didn't act now to eradicate the threat.

Tyler: This mac and cheese is too old, I think.

(It was from the damn HALFWAY PARTY eight days ago.  Throw it out, Tyler!)


Tyler: Brett, is this fish something you put in to marinate?

Brett:  No. I've never seen that before.

Throw it out, Tyler!


Kaycee is somber.  She doesn't handle conflict well AT ALL, getting angry quickly when someone makes any sort of accusation against her.  Apparently after the live show, Scottie said something to her in a group setting about how her speech didn't work, and she lashed out at him.  I heard her apologize later, saying she was upset about her HoH comp performance and didn't want to talk about it.


She did pull Haleigh aside though,, telling her she had no hard feelings about being on the block, and that she's able to let bygones be bygones.

Kaycee:  I know you lost your best friend tonight, and that's really hard.

Later, I heard Haleigh tell Fessy that Kaycee was being really nice to her.

Fessy:  She and Angela both came up and hugged me after noms and told me thank you.

Haleigh: Yeah, but that doesn't mean she has to be nice to me too.

(YES IT DOES, HALEIGH. Good lord.  The stupidity never stops in there.)


Hi Tyler.  It's not creepy at all that we are watching you take a shower.  And we saw your house and all your trophies and the bowling alley where you grew up and the mayor of your town and all the townspeople and all of your childhood pictures and know about your dad and all.

Nope.  Not creepy at all.


Angela is extremely sore after that 20 minute HoH comp.  She says that muscles she's never even thought about hurt, and Kaycee agrees.  Only Sam says she's not sore, but she also admits she didn't try very hard, because her lane was right next to Fessy's lane, so she already knew the end of the story.


Angela tried to stretch the pain away, wearing her tights that Tyler says are his favorite.  I didn't realize that they made them to pull down over your feet, instead of socks, maybe.  That's a new clothing feature I wasn't aware of.

She talked to Kaycee about a photo shoot she did for Dick's Sporting Goods, where she spent a long day working out hard for the cameras.  She had to use those big heavy ropes, which are A BITCH if you've never tried to pick them up.  It sounded horrible, actually, but that is the life of a fitness model.  She also showed Kaycee how she had to stand one time, in a weird position with her shoulders, to get the shot the photographer wanted.  She was super sore after that, too.

(Even when I used to run 20-25 miles a week, I got sore after rollerblading, so I know what they are talking about.  Even Brett says his hip flexors hurt after just that short time slipping and sliding.)


I don't remember Tyler doing a lot of complaining, but he's not really the type to go on and on about things.


Angela said something here, but I don't remember what it was.  I'm starting to lose steam here, because it's Saturday and I have some things I want to do today.  This season is really putting me behind on everything in life.  I have a backlog in work I need to do for clients, since it's Fall Tax Season now, and my DVR is STUFFED with shows I don't have time to watch.  Even my podcast queue is so long, I worry I'm going to run out of storage room on my phone.

But these live feeds have been too good to just walk away from.  If you know, then you know, and we can agree on that, if nothing else.


I certainly don't have time to get into Sam's whole mess. She was acting DERANGED yesterday, clearly in a MANIC phase of behavior. She pulled Brett aside and went on FOREVER about her relationship with Angie Rockstar, saying Angie was her #2 in this game if her #1 leaves the house, so now she needs a new one.  And it's Brett, apparently. She even called Brett her "Plan B".


She told him she had a crush on him at least three times in this conversation, babbling and barely letting him get a word in edgewise.  What could Brett say about it, anyway?

Sam: ...and Angie said stuff like you were in love with me, and when this was all over you'd come up to me and tell me I'm your dream girl....

(Have you EVER seen Sam look so happy?)


Sam, to us:  Look at this one.  Look at this one I've got here!


Sam:  ...and I take back what I said about you not touching me.  I take it back, because I like it.  It feels comforting.

Later, after nominations, Brett was eating tuna with hemp seeds (WHAT) and gave Sam a bite. Her lips started swelling up immediately, and she shrieked and the feeds went down as medical attention was given.  But it turns out Sam was okay.  Or, as okay as she was before that incident.  When Brett was maybe trying to poison her.  I said "maybe", because I'm not accusing him of anything. Yet.


The camera crew did a tight close up of Rachel's hopeful, smiling face, before pulling out to show us her evil Frenemy Angela nibbling her bird food.

This week is still far from over.  But as of right now, Rachel will be happy to hear that there is nothing wrong with Angela now.   How agonizing that must be for her enemies.