Friday, February 16, 2018

Celebrities---They're Just Like Us. Well, Sort Of..... #CBBUS

Today is Friday, so that means there is a two-hour live Celebrity Big Brother episode tonight, where the eviction outcome may be predictable, but it should be a great show anyway.  That won't stop the "fans" from complaining though, but there's nothing we can do to stop that. 

I just want to reiterate that Big Brother is by no means my favorite TV show.  It's not even my favorite reality TV show (Top Chef and Project Runway hold that special honor).  But it is the ability to see the live feeds and experience the drama unfolding that makes it unlike any other television experience out there. And whether you like a particular house guest or not, the connection that you feel with them is undeniable as you watch them kill time and play the game under what are admittedly circumstances that are weird as hell.  Plus, there is a vast difference between what you see on the CBS episodes and what is actually happening in the house. But that is show biz, folks.

I may or may not have been a little high as I watched the live feeds last night before going to sleep.  I watched Ross and Brandi cook dinner, and it really is amazing to see people that you were already familiar with play this game.  The live feeds have only been on for one week, but it's as if Ross is my next-door neighbor and I can just scamper over there and pluck a few of his sweet potato fries right off the cookie sheet like Marissa did.

Marissa:  Oh these are so good.  What did you put on them?

Ross:  Oh..... all sorts of yummy things.

(I had just watched him shake dust from a number of canisters all over the fries.  I don't think he even knew what he was putting on there.)

And Production has announced that after the CBS episode concludes, we will see a live HoH endurance competition play out on the live feeds.  I don't want to get too excited about that, because last summer we were promised that several times, and it never happened.  But I am cautiously optimistic about it. 

And I'll put it out there:  I think it will be The Wall competition.  The house guests have been hearing banging and pounding in the backyard so loud that they thought it was thunder.  And apparently they only have access to the backyard during the evening hours, when construction stops, and last night that privilege came late, if at all.  I heard Mark saying they haven't seen sunlight in weeks, and how strange it is.

With Shannon out of the game tonight (highly likely), who do you think has the best odds of winning an endurance competition?

Yep, I think it's James.  The wall usually favors the shorter people who have a lower center of gravity, so Marissa fits that bill, but I don't know if she will have the stamina to stay up there for hours.  Ross might do well as a SuperFan, too.  But James came in second to Shannon during the first endurance competition.  If it's The Wall, the tall people usually fall off first, but Jason Dent turned that axiom on it's head last year, so who knows.  Hopefully we will see it all play out.

Yesterday they had the PoV ceremony, where James saved himself and Mark went on the block in his place.  Mark volunteered, and I heard him tell James that if there is ever a week where he felt safe on the block, it's this one.  Shannon had a few chances to make some deals, but she has been a TOTAL BITCH in addition to being a CRYBABY so many of the house guests can't wait for her to leave.  She did it to herself.....she just had to beast out on the first week's competitions and has done little to establish a social game.  You played yourself, Shannon.

Ariadna has been stressed about having to make the nomination speeches.  Apparently she wants to use this platform to be considered for TV hosting jobs and I guess she is nervous about speaking English under such a high-pressure situation.  After the nomination ceremony took place on Tuesday, when the feeds came back everyone was congratulating her, saying she did great and not to worry and take her time with it.  Mark was a host on Extra, so he was telling her that if she is speaking and makes a mistake, just keep going and don't acknowledge it.  (I took a public speaking course once where we were filmed making speeches and then the class critiqued the footage, and that is EXACTLY what we learned, too.)  Someone else (Marissa, I think) told Ariadna to be sure and speak English in those instances, so any TV people watching can see her capabilities.

(Not for nothing, but if Adriana Lima can host a show on Lifetime, Ariadna can do it....)

My objective here is to tell you about some GREAT conversations I heard on the live feeds yesterday, and then get on with my day so I can veg out on some BB tonight without guilt.  The pictures below don't necessarily correspond with the story, but I'm sure you can't blame me for that. 

OK.  I even took NOTES on a scratchpad about some of this, so without further ado, please enjoy.

1.  One thing that is fun this season is that so many of these players live in the same town, so they not only know the same people, but they shop at the same stores, deal with the same traffic, and are now going to be friends and their families are going to be friends, too.   They might even work together.  I know Marissa is working on a show and has discussed hiring Shannon to film a scene for her before she goes home to South Africa.  (BTW, Shannon has said she's not coming back for the Finale, but who knows if that will play out or not.)  The scene will involve Shannon walking a dog wearing a neon green tank that might be see-thru.  Or something like that.  Shannon sounded open to it.  But they were discussing The Grove shopping center and how it has changed over the years.  During that conversation they mentioned a shopping mall, and Ross announced that he worked in that mall's food court at McDonalds.

2.  Previously Ross worked at a stand-alone McDonald's store, but "they" transferred him to the mall location.  Marissa asked if that was a promotion for him and Ross said he didn't know and didn't care, because he really liked the Food Court locale.

Ross:  They actually tried to promote me to manager, but I turned down that offer because I had bigger dreams. 

I want to point out that Mark could barely contain himself during this conversation.  He was so thrilled to be a part of the Ross-Marissa show and talk about something they could all relate to.

Ross:  I liked the Food Court because I got to work so many stations.....I could run the the grill....everything.

3.  Ross:  And because I was still a minor, they had to give me a 30 minute lunch break and also two 15-minute breaks, and each time I was allowed two free food items.  So for the first one I would get a Quarter Pounder and maybe a shake.

Mark:  Oh man....I LOVE QUARTER POUNDERS......

Ross:  Yep.  And then for lunch I might get a Double Cheeseburger and maybe some nuggets.

Mark:  OH YEAH!

Ross:  And this was all in one day, I might add.  And then for the last break I'd try to go easy with a Crispy Chicken and a sundae.

Marissa:  But did you grab fries all day long while you worked?

Ross:  Oh, all day long.

Mark:  What about a drink?

Ross:  Oh we had free refills on Coke all day, too.  And then at the end of the day I would take all the food we were going to throw out over to my best friend's house, who is still my friend today and lived right next to the mall.  We would eat all that food and watch the Real World you remember that show?

Mark:  ....yeah...I do...

4.  Marissa worked at a "hot wing place" and ate so many fries that sometimes she would deliver a plate to a customer that was only half-full. Mark is tickled-pink by Marissa and was just cracking up listening to her chatter (so EFF OFF all you Marissa haters).  Marissa and Ross agree that they would go home smelling like fried food and it was disgusting.

Marissa:  I also worked at Friendly's...

Mark:  Oh I LOVE Friendly's.  Was it the one  over on _______?

Marissa:  No, I grew up in Westchester (NY), so that is where I worked.  I was a waitress, but we had to scoop ice cream, too sometimes.  I was so short that I had to lean way over to reach the ice cream to scoop it, so I always had chocolate ice cream all over my boobs.  It was a mess.


Marissa:  I've had EVERY job there is to have.  And I've been fired from every job, too.

Mark:  Did you get fired from Friendly's?

Marissa:  Yep.  Let's see....I did NOT sleep with my boss. 

Ross:  And that's why you got fired?

Marissa:  Um hmmm...but I was 16 and he was like, 25, so...

***FISH***  LOL.

5.  When the feeds returned a few minutes later, it was obvious that we missed some MAJOR scoop about Marissa's work history.  Metta strolled into the kitchen and Mark had some big news for him, it was so big that he was just bursting with excitement.

Mark:  Metta dude, you missed a good story.  Marissa worked at Scores.

Metta:  WHAT?  You worked at Scores?

(Scores was an infamous "gentleman's club" in NYC that was NOTORIOUS for many reasons.)

Marissa:  Yeah, I was the bathroom girl.  I would be in there handing out toiletries and paper towels and girls would be making out in the bathroom was crazy.

Metta:  Which one? 

Marissa described the location she worked at, and it's the original one on the Upper East Side.

Mark:  I've been to that Scores a ZILLION times. 

They discussed the "Scores Dollars" that customers used inside the club.  (Basically you would buy these "dollars" at the door to use to buy drinks, lap dances, tips, whatever, inside the club.  The reason for that is so your credit card bill would have one charge that you could run through your expense report, hide from your wife, your boss, whoever, because the credit card charge did NOT say "Scores" on it.)

Metta or Mark:  Each $20 in Scores money cost $22 in real dollars.

Marissa:  It's such a rip off, but if you worked there, you could trade them in for $18.  And people felt like it was funny money so they would just throw it around.  Those girls would give me a $20 for one tampon, and they thought I brought them from home or something.  It was crazy I made so much money there.

6.  Mark: Marissa what's the worst job you had?

Marissa:  Hmmm.  Probably might have been the best, actually.  If I worked there right now I'd be making more money than I'm making here....

7.  If Mark has the occasion to make an HoH nomination speech, he might make a Howard Stern reference like "Hit 'Em With the Hein" (I'd prefer a classic "Baba Booey" myself.).  But Mark will be making a speech tonight on live TV, before the house guests vote.  Will he make the Stern reference then?  If anyone knows how to talk on TV, it's Mark, so I'm not worried. 

Maybe just a little worried.  But probably not enough to stand up and move 6 inches away from the TV screen like I did when Marissa won the PoV last week.

7.  Ross grew up on a farm and has had a lot of jobs too.

Ross:  I worked on a conveyor belt...and I picked strawberries....

Mark:  That's hard work..

Ross:  Yeah.  I got fired a lot, too, like when I worked at Lane Bryant.

(For you international readers, Lane Bryant is a "plus size" women's clothing store chain here in the US.)

Marissa: Why, did you say something mean to a customer?

Ross:  NO!  I was so sweet to them....

(Ross was probably fatter than the customers, from the sound of his McDonald's story.  And I have to disclose that if Ross did not include the following information in his book, I would not publish it here, because Ross is my "friend" now and I don't screw over my friends.)

Marissa:  Then why did you get fired?

Ross, pausing:  Hmm.  I put this in my book, so.....I stole from Lane Bryant.  I shoplifted.

Metta:  Oh no Ross. That doesn't sound like you.....

Ross: Well, the store manager and assistant manager did it too...

***FISH***   ha ha ha ha ha ha.

8.  Mark: I'm going to read Ross' book when I get out of here.  And I want to read Brandi's book too.

(MARK WHERE IS YOUR BOOK?  You need to write a book about how the music business used to be, and how much fun you had riding that wave.  Hey "Chip", if that is your real name and you are really Mark's manager, go start making a deal for him NOW so he can just sign the paperwork and then start dictating stories on tape.)

(And Mark, if you can wait until after tax season is over, I would LOVE to write your book, dude.)

OK, until Mark, Chip and I make our millions on Mark's Tell All book, I need to crank out some tax and accounting work.  I will be live-tweeting the show tonight, and hopefully the endurance competition too. 

Oh, and Omarosa's hair got TRASHED during the PoV competition.  I think she got slop in it maybe?  That is why you see her natural look in the picture below, but Marissa told her it is a beautiful, softer look, like an earth mother.  Omarosa loved that description and tossed her hair around after hearing that.


And now, from the FeedWatcher Archives, I bring you this recap of an old Dick at Nite show from August 2011.  Back then I used to recap Evel Dick's little talk shows and this was very popular with my readers because it was content that they otherwise had to pay for, and there was often newsy or salacious tidbits of information.

Shannon was one of the panelists on this episode, but I must warn you some of the content might be too much for some of you.  My objective was to report on the most interesting comments on the show, which is unfiltered and raunchy.  I totally forgot that Marcellas Reynolds used to talk about knowing Shannon when I listened to him on the BB3 live feeds.  He was her stylist back then......maybe that's how she got addicted to the show.  The feeds on that season were GREAT.  Sheryl Crowe did a concert live in the backyard! 

When this was taped, BB13 was mid-season, and that is the season where Evel Dick left the house just before the feeds went live due to a positive HIV test.  We didn't learn the real reason why he left until years later, of course.  And we later learned that James Rhine had some sort of relationship with Dani Donato that may have been romantic, so the fact that James was running Dani's twitter account while she was playing is interesting.  Also interesting is that Dani famously met Dominic Briones (AKA "P.T.") during BB13 and they are now happily married and just announced this week that they are expecting a baby this summer.  What a beautiful baby that will be.

Anyway, enough chatter.  Here is the Dick at Nite recap, such as it is.

FUN FACT:  Evel Dick blocked me on Twitter after I called out his many hypocracies during BB14, so I stopped putting money in his tattered pockets and no longer pay any attention to him.  I don't miss him at all.