Friday, June 22, 2018

Meet Scottie Salton - Roast Me Elmo. #BB20


It's time to meet Scottie Salton, who is 26 and hails from Shorewood Illinois.  Shorewood is about 30 minutes south of the Loop in Chicago and some of you may be happy to hear that I have no personal anecdotes to share about it.  I've never been there, and never heard of it, so we can just move right along.

Scottie introduces himself as "Scottie with two T's", which is probably a reference to the fact that Ross spells "Matthews" with only one T, like this:  "Mathews".  I mean, clearly someone goofed filling out paperwork generations ago, right?  Ross needs to buy a consonant, I think.  I'm sure he can afford it.


Scottie tells Ross that he is a "retail shipping manager", and you need to know that Scottie has a slight lisp, so its kind of a cruel twist of fate that he has so many S's in his name and all.  Just sssssaying.

Scottie: .....for like, a skateboard or snowboard shop.  But I don't do either, though.  I'm like the one person who works there who doesn't skateboard or snowboard, so they just lock me in a basement and say 'ship things out'.

Ross gets a chuckle out of this and they're off to a good start.

Ross: But do you know what you're doing now?

Scottie:  With skateboarding and snowboarding?  No...

Ross:  No, with Big Brother!  Do you know what you're doing?


Scottie does know that he's on Big Brother and his mind is blown by it all.  He's not nervous, though, he says, and correctly guesses that he's sitting in the Diary Room right now, even calling it "the Dee Arr".

Scottie tells Ross that he's a big, big fan of the show, and has been watching since season 7, after his big sister got him into it.

Ross, sounding skeptical, yet friendly:  Do you HAVE what it takes to win this game?

Scott: Uh....yes?


Ross, still serving skepticism:  Well then tell me.  What does it take to win Big Brother?

Scottie: Well, first of all, it's all about whether people think you're honest.  It's not about what you actually are..zero percent truth, one hundred percent reality.  So it's about how I'm going to be perceived...I think people are going to think I'm nitwitted, and that's fine.  That's actually what I'm going for.  I'd like to win one of the first two HoH's to set the tempo.  I'm a tempo setter.

Ross made several little sounds while Scottie was just speaking, those little sounds you make to show the other person that you hear them, and agree with or understand what is being said.


Ross points out that most new house guests say they don't want to win the first HoH comps because it puts a target on their back.

Scottie:  I'd rather have the target in front of me than behind me.  Like, I want to prop the HoH room door open if I can, to give the illusion of openness and honesty.

Clearly Scottie rehearsed that line about the target, but he's got a point there.  For someone who is going to be immediately perceived as being offbeat, winning the first HoH will ensure that people come to him to include him in conversations and just hanging out together.  Then it's up to him to be productive with that time and build some solid bonds and alliances.

I think a great example of this is McCrae Olson in BB15.  McCrae the Pizza Boy was our pre-season hero that year, as he was plucked from the Alternate ranks at the very last minute, after someone else got dropped from the roster (reportedly a guy tried to call his girlfriend using a borrowed phone while in sequester and got caught doing it).  McCrae stood out like a sore thumb from the rest of the cast but he won the first HoH and found himself in a pretty big alliance, and also in bed with Amanda Zuckerman.  That alliance (The Moving Company) imploded in week two, but McCrae was still in bed with Amanda, who was the puppet master for much of the game.

So I digress, but at least I stayed on topic this time.  The point is:  I agree that it would be good if Scottie can win HoH.  (And maybe have a hanger-on jump in bed with him, too.)


Scottie wants to try hard in every competition so people know he can at least do that, and can't think of anything that he won't do to win.

Scottie:  People keep asking me about showmances, but I don't think I'm going to be in a showmance, because I like, don't have the showmance vibe. If someone wants to be in a showmance with me, they can just listen to my voice or look at my face and see I'm not a showmancy type of guy.

Ross: What's that supposed to mean?

Scottie: I'm the Dud Guy.  There's no question in my mind that I'm the Dud Guy.

Ross laughs, and Scottie laughs, but the world is a sad place, isn't it?  Those interviewers pestering Scottie about a showmance are some real mean mother effers.  You kids can call out bullies all you want, but the people who are truly bullied for being offbeat will confirm that being made fun of in a cruel way is never going away.

Scottie:  I mean, I sound like Elmo on HGH....

Ross is cackling and loving this.

Scottie:  ....everything about me....if someone comes to me and wants to be in a showmance...they don't have to say that, but if they just act like it, I'm gonna be suspicious immediately.  I'm gonna think 'you want something'.


Ross wonders what Scottie's weakness could be.  Scottie says he's "just loaded with weaknesses" and Ross says to just share one of them, then.

Scottie:  Let's see...my mouth.  Being nitwitted isn't a far fetched thing.  I mean, I'm bubbly, but sometimes stuff just comes right out and I won't even think about it, and it can come back and bite me in the ass.

Many of Scottie's sentences end with a question mark-sound, which could be a bad habit, I guess, but it also sounds like a lack of self-confidence or commitment.  Ross cautions him that saying the wrong thing could be a problem in a game that's "double sided".

Scottie:  That's why I want to build an illusion that I'm nitwitted so that if I do get caught in a lie they can think, oh that guy is the dumb guy.

Scottie also says also has the tendency to have tunnel vision.  If' he's in a conversation with someone, he can be oblivious to what is happening around him, and this could be a problem in the game.


Ross wondered what fears Scottie has going into the game, and Scottie has an immediate answer.

Scottie:  Oh, going home first.  I already view myself as The Dud Guy, so if I'm The Dud Guy who goes home first, I'm going to feel like a total failure.

Ross, laughing:  Oh, how mad would you be if you went home first?

Scottie:  Oh, I'll probably just go home and smack my head against the wall.

Scottie was smiling and semi-laughing during that entire exchange, but to me it was really sad to listen to.  Humor is self-defense for many people, a way of preventing other people from seeing how you really feel.  Also, I heard years ago that sarcasm was a tool of the weak, and it took me a long time to understand what that meant.  It's just another way to express yourself with really taking credit for what you're saying.  And Scottie is using humor and sarcasm.  I'm sad for him already, and what is going to happen in the next 99 days for him.

(Because that's how long this dang season will be.....99 days.)


Now Ross pops the Big Question, but as usual he has a unique lead in to the question.  Ross can't even get the question out his mouth, because Scottie interrupts him after he says "would you rather win and be hated, or..."

Scottie:  You already gave me my answer.  I don't need to be loved, I don't need that validation....

(Tragic.)

Scottie: ....I didn't come here to have people say, oh Scottie, I think I like him... I can be a little bit of a prick, I'm okay with that.  When I watch the show, all I do is roast people.  That's all me and my family do, is roast people.  So I figure the backlash is going to happen, and I'm okay with it.  I want to win.

Ross:  Are you going to bring that roasting here to the Diary Room?

Scottie:  Probably.  I'm probably going to say mean things.

Ross, snickering:  We'll all look forward to THAT!  Just keep it real though.  Not mean, but real.


Now it's time for Scottie to look at us and tell us why we should root for him this summer.

Scottie: Oh!  I'm not going to tell them what to do!  You have more information than me..100% you have more information than me.  So you'll probably make a better choice than any pitch I could give you.  So just go with your heart!

Ross:  You heard it here first.  Just go with your heart!

Ross wishes him luck and tells him it was a pleasure to meet him as they shake hands.  And it's true, I can tell.


***FEEDWATCHER FORECAST***

OK, well let's just get this part out of the way.  Scottie says he's a virgin who has never been kissed.

He's not a bad-looking guy, right?  Aren't the nerds The Chosen Ones right now?  One of you kids in the Illinois area need to get your ass over there and at least give him a fucking kiss. Is that too much to ask?  Hopefully he won't need your charity snogs after this and whatever type of person he is attracted to watches the show and reaches out to him. I hope to god Scottie is lying and playing us right now.  But if he was, I would already have the receipts from Tinder.  Or whatever.  The BB fans have been in these streets digging for filth since Monday, and there is no sordid news coming out about Scottie Salton.



Did you watch BBOTT?  Do you know about Scott the Virgin King?  In my opinion, he was one of the greatest BB villains OF ALL TIME and it is a travesty that casting probably wouldn't look his way for a traditional summer season of the show.

Why wouldn't Scottie Salton like Scott Dennis?  They have much in common, so maybe that is why Scottie was offended.  Let's see...

*  Both outcast-types
*  Both named Scott
*  Both claim to be virgins at the start of their seasons
*  Both big fans of the show
*  Both confident about their chances
*  Both claim not to give a fuck what you think about them
*  Both are apparently big Alex Willett fans

One difference they might have is that Scott Dennis had a mean streak that was predominant in his personality, where Scottie seems to have a sweeter persona.  If you missed BBOTT, you really should go back and watch the episodes on the CBS website, but you can learn more about Scott here.  I found it hard to believe that Scott Dennis had never been laid, because he had so much confidence, and that is often all you need to attract someone physically.


And here is Scottie's CBS bio, with more info about him.


Well, I love Scottie's three descriptive adjectives.  And what he says might be the most difficult part of the being on the show is correct, and so on point it's scary.  It's always upsetting when you feel like people change the conversation when you walk up on them, but the paranoia that ensues in the Big Brother house has got to be horrendous.

Here on the East Coast, the live interviews started streaming at 11:00 am, and I watched all of them.  After 1:00 pm or so, I started getting really hungry, to the point where I knew I wasn't going to make it.  Ross had short breaks between interviews, and I decided I was going to take a short break to run downstairs and slap together a sandwich.  And not just any sandwich....I had made "Fakin Bacon" with tempeh the day before for the first time, so I planned to make a "TLT" on crunchy wheat toast.

So I ran down there and put the toast in the toaster and sliced up a tomato, but Ross came back with one of the interviews before I was finished.  So I ran back up to my computer to cover it.  But then at the next break, I was like, screw this, I'm hungry.  So I took my time putting my TLT together, putting everything back in the fridge, and wiping down the counter tops.  (No ants allowed in my house....)  So I missed watching the first half of Scottie's interview live.  But I was happy to watch it again now.

I am pulling for Scottie to do something in this game.  I'd like to hear him talk TONS of trash in the Diary Room!  I hope he gets to do someone really dirty and totally blindside them.  I hope we see at least one exit interview where someone says they made a mistake by underestimating Scottie Salton.  I hope we then see a SALTY GOODBYE MESSAGE starring Scottie.

I'm definitely interested to see what happens next!  And my sandwich was great, by the way.  It certainly didn't taste like real bacon, but as someone who has given up meat it was close enough for me.  And tempeh has a nice chew to it, which I like.  But I digress.  Of course.

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