Monday, June 18, 2018

Meet Brett Robinson - He Could Tell Us. But We'd Have to Kill Him. #BB20

Brett Robinson doesn't look like his name.  I'm not sure exactly what I mean by that, but I think Brett Robinson looks like a Chad.  Or a Blake.

Ross greets us and says he has "another one" for us, before telling Brett that he'll have to introduce himself, because Ross doesn't know his name.  Ross is clearly charmed as Brett says "I'm Brett", looking directly at Ross' face, only inches away.  Brett has bright blue eyes, and is not afraid to stare at you with them.

If he says he's Brett, then it must be true.  I've already fallen for Brett's evil lies.  And I think Ross has, too, even though we've just begun.

Ross needs more information, and Brett is ready to give it.  He's originally from Connecticut, but lives in Boston now.

Ross:  So what do you do though?

Brett:  I'm a cyber security engineer.

Brett smiles as Ross tosses that phrase around a little, saying what does that mean, you keep the internet safe or something?

Brett:  To put it in simple terms, I protect people who can't protect themselves.

(I know Brett runs BIG GAMES with his lines when he's trolling in the bars.  My friend and I met some guys once who kept telling us they were managers at the Tandy Corporation.  I finally figured out that they worked behind the counter at Radio Shack.  Brett's sentence is designed for maximum intrigue and effect., and has been used many, many times.)

Ross thinks that could come in handy in the BB house, and pulls away from the mesmerizing eyes of Brett to collect himself.

He encourages Brett to turn toward the cameras and let America get to know him.  Brett smiles at us and then Ross hits him with the hard stuff, asking if he's gonna win this game.

Brett: That's the plan.  I want to win.

Ross:  How?  How are you going to win?

Brett launches into a speech about his social strategy, and says that most people don't understand that cyber security involves a lot of social interaction.

(No, I didn't know that.)

Brett:  How are you going to get somebody to click on that link?

He says he knows how to strategically plan events, assess vulnerability and how to then cover up his tracks.  Clearly, Brett has rehearsed this part.  And the girls at the bar probably think he's a CIA agent after hearing all of this.  Or an FBI agent.  I've met at least three FBI agents over my lifetime, and they all had good hair like Brett.

Brett has good hair.  It's important to evaluate his strengths.  I can't really place Brett's voice, but he speaks in a low tone that is not unlike a chuckle, dragging his sentences in a lazy manner, toying with the questions.  I can imagine Brett speaking this way if his feet were up on a coffee table, proud of himself.

Ross, challenging Brett:  Oh, interesting.  Assess me.  What are my vulnerabilities?

Brett:  Well, I'd have to get to know you first, and do a little more research.  Usually you have Facebook to look at, and Google, and all of your background.....

(This is what Brett will do if you SWIPE RIGHT, people.  Or maybe if you troll him on the BB websites.  Who knows.  I may tread lightly with Brett.)

Ross bats his eyes at Brett and points out he won't have any of those resources in the house.  But Brett is already kicking himself at this point, knowing that he went the wrong way down this conversation and is backed into a corner by the shrewd Ross.  He somehow stammers out of the situation by saying he'll be listening to people instead, and will pick up on the social cues.

Ross, knowing he won this round:  Um humm.

Brett:  By listening.....just listening.......that's the hardest part.

Brett feels his biggest downside will be toning down his personality and not coming on too strong with everyone.  Usually he's "pinging radar all over the place" when he comes in a room, but he's going to try to tone down on that.

Brett:  The thing is, I'm a dominant, outgoing person, and you usually want to go under the radar....

Brett is just going to try to hide this part of himself, but Ross says it's going to be hard to do in there.

Brett:  I'm just gonna have to, for $500,000.

Ross:  Yes, but what are you willing to do to win?  How far will you go?

Brett is going to do "whatever it takes" in the house to win.  Ross wants to dig deeper about Brett's potential problem areas, and asks him what aspects of a roommate or BB house guest would really annoy him.  What would be tough for Brett to take?

Brett kind of hemmed and hawed over that one, before saying that he really likes to sleep, so someone preventing that would really bother him.  He really needs a coffee in the morning.

(Those are two different annoyances, Brett.  And I would know because I have both of them.)

Brett:  And I would really just try to bite my tongue when someone bothers me.  Because at the end of the day, you can't really forget what someone says.  Once you say it, you can say you're sorry, but people are going to keep it in the back of their minds, they won't forget....

Ross:  Believe me.  This game will test every ounce of that.

Brett lives with his older brother and will miss seeing him and the rest of his family.  Brett is single now and he didn't plan it this way, but he's single going into the house.  He wasn't planning on getting in a showmance, but if "she's pretty enough, and nice enough, you never know".

Ross:  But this is a competition!  You wouldn't stop a football game to make out with somebody, right?

Brett agrees with that, but says at the end of the day, that's another vote in your corner to win.

Ross, fresh from a BB loss:  Or not!

(Ross should be on All Stars, if we ever have it.)

Ross wonders what Brett is most afraid of.

Brett:  What I might say on national television.  That's probably what I'm most afraid of.

Ross, really digging in:  But it's not just TV.  You're also online 24-7.

Brett:  There's a digital footprint no matter what.  It's permanent.  It's out there now.  There's no filter and I'm not a very filtered person so there's that.

Ross:  Well, I look forward to that.

And then the wheels fell off Brett's bus.  Ross asks him the Big Question, would he rather win the game and be hated, or lose and be loved by America.  Brett hesitated, and we all died inside while we prepared for what Brett had to say.

Brett:  Well....I do love America.  Can I come in second and maybe be loved?  And then maybe come back next year and win it then!

Ross laughed and probably realized he was close to being had, too, just like we were.  Brett isn't really a diabolical genius.  He probably just wants to make money on Instagram pushing Diffy Sunglasses or something.  I mean, fucking ALEX OW said that last year.

Ross invites Brett to tell the fans why we need to "vote for him" all summer long.

(I haven't even thought about the social media interaction Julie threatened us with.  I just can't face the reality of that right now.)

Brett says he'll be in there fighting for us.  He's a patriot fighting in the cyber landscape keeping us safe, helping those who can't help themselves, so we should "throw a half million dollars his way".

Ross giggles wickedly.  Ross has that kind of money, if Brett really needs it.  Just saying.

Ross taunts Brett about the room they're in, asking him if he's figured it out yet.  Brett knows now that it's the Diary Room, and says it was a pleasure to meet Ross.

Brett is on his own now.  We can't help him.  He'll just have to help himself.  Even though he probably can't help himself.  Or something like that.


OK.  I was thinking Brett works at the Geek Squad or something, but during Brett's closing comments, I realized that he may have been implying that he works for Homeland Security or some other crime fighting organization, looking for crime or terrorist activity on the interwebs.

That makes sense to me now, looking back at a few of his vague comments.  And I couldn't find much information, or ANY information about Brett during a simple Google search.   So it looks like Brett's "digital footprint" has been wiped before he came in the house.  In fact, maybe "Brett" is not his real name, after all.

He could tell us, but he'd have to kill us.  And isn't "Brett Robinson" the most generic-sounding name ever?  I can't believe Blake (or Chad) thinks we'd believe "Brett Robinson" is his real name.

(My name on a fake ID I got when I was 14 was "Kathy Douglas".  As bland as it gets, even back then.  When eventually caught, after someone else's Mom found a similar fake ID in the laundry, I told my parents I wanted the fake ID so I could go to R-rated movies.  What a crock of shit! I grew up in a college town....I didn't need a fake ID to do ANYTHING.  There was no one checking ID's at the fraternity parties, that's for sure.)

By the way, surely I don't need to point out Brett's huge guns, right?  Brett is no slob in the fitness area, clearly.  And Ross's jacket says "Beast Mode" something or other on the top left shoulder.  Why would Ross advertise for someone else during a filming opportunity?  What is Ross up to wearing that?  I approve of the casual comfortable clothing, but Ross could have worn any manner of stylish track jackets or other branded logos.

But I digress.  AGAIN.  Let's look at Brett's bio, even though there is zero chance that he did anything crazy here.

OK, I take back that last statement.  Who describes themself as "riveting" or "trophy"?  What the hell is going on with that?

And I can't with Brett's robotic recitation of his planned strategy. Whistlenut justified a potential win  in his interview last year with Big Jeff  better than Brett did today.  Let's hope Brett talks crap like this in the Diary Room, so we can enjoy some laughs when he's blindsided by using a fake idol.  Or whatever.

(I just remembered the Halting Hex and nearly vomited.  Big Brother is so damn cheesy now.  I'll bet whoever designed the "Temptation Room" (or whatever) used on BB19 is the same person who designed "Ghost Island" on the last season of Survivor.  And I bet they designed the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland, too.  Or maybe they rode on it 10,000 times while taking Adderall.  It was all just WAY too much.)

I can't imagine who Brett will pal around with in there.  I'm only on my third house guest introduction post, but I watched all the interviews with Ross live and I can't see Brett having a genuine relationship with anyone.  He might be a Nick Uhas type, who has all the potential in the world but can't act like he doesn't know that.

How is Brett going to lie about his job?  How in the world does he think the other house guests will believe he's a "dumb surfer", as he says in his bio? Even the DUMB SURFER in the house won't believe you about that, Brett!  And Brett shouldn't even try to fool the EX-COP who worked UNDERCOVER!  Steve might even tell everybody Brett is an FBI agent, which is much, much worse than whatever it is he probably actually does for a living.

I could see Brett winning the first HoH and going on a massive power trip that would put Cody's HoH inaugural HoH reign last year to shame.  Or I can see him being voted out after the first full week of play, blindsided by people he thought he was aligned with.

I know one thing:  No one needs to anger someone who hacks into friends' computers "for fun".  Imagine what he would do to an enemy?

1 comment :

  1. Ha Nick Uhaus lets just hope there is no GinaMarie type snotting into his shorts. I just can't!


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