Wednesday, September 20, 2017

All The Time in the World Won't Make Things Right Here. #BB19

I turned on the live feeds this morning so I didn't miss their final good byes, and this is what I saw.  I felt I needed to investigate what is going on in the top left camera shot, as part of my FeedWatcher duties.


And I was like, what is going on in this bed containing Christmas and Paul?  She is all the way over on his side.


And just then, I saw movement and I was like WHAT THE HELL.  But it was just Paul trying to reclaim his space and get her off of him.

Paul:  Can you please move over?  I'm about to fall off the bed over here.

So suddenly everything made sense.  Christmas was sleeping aggressively and crowding Paul out of his space.  Naturally.


Later they got the wake up music and when the feeds returned Josh was in the Lounge area talking to us.  He realizes he's cried all summer, and he's probably going to cry now, too.

Josh:  This is the best day of my life.  I'm going to see my family, and I love both Christmas and Paul like part of my family, too.  We're going to have adventures together, and travel internationally...

Paul walked in and Josh reached out his arms to hug him, but Paul didn't even enter the camera shot.

Josh:  Paul is so insensitive.  But thank you for watching all summer.


Paul:  Thanks for tuning in and allowing me to come back again this summer, and for watching the gumpiness of Josh.  I hope I didn't let anybody down. And thanks for getting boys...100% organic, grass-fed boys.

(***cringe***)


Paul also announced that Josh would be back next week for BBOTT, but then admitted he had no idea if BBOTT would be coming back, or coming back so soon.

Paul:  I have money on Big Meech coming back for BBOTT.  And you can play with her Josh.  Big Meech is gonna hate you.

Josh claims he would never do BBOTT, but after a few years of therapy he might come back for another summer season.  Good luck with that, Josh.


Meanwhile Christmas was making breakfast and doing her own closing comments to the camera, talking to Jenny her assistant, and looking forward to seeing what some other person (Tony, maybe?) did with the gym.

She called out for the guys to come talk to her, and they did.  Josh is someone who gets called out CONSTANTLY for singing on the live feeds, and he did so here, getting the feeds cut for singing "It's getting hot in here".  When the feeds came back, Paul was inspecting the Memory Wall and commenting on how dirty it is, saying that the smeared area around Cody's picture was "all Jessica"  (because she kept kissing it).

Josh said no one else on the cast had genuine friendship like the three of them have (WHAT) and these were the last words uttered on the BB19 live feeds:

Paul:  I really want to see what Cody and Jessica are really like.

Josh:  I'm not even gonna say hi.


And then that was it.  We had a few minutes of cats frolicking at the Humane Society, and then the feeds went to this.  I will be providing some coverage of the post-season antics and interviews in the next week or so, so please look out for that.


Some seasons have a better Last Moment on the live feeds than others, but I think what just happened here perfectly encapsulates the BB19 experience....everyone was disjointed in a group setting, with time spent shit-talking the other house guests.

One of my favorite Last Live Feed Moments was BB17, because they actually put time and energy into saying goodbye to us in a manner unique to their personalities.


The Last Live Feed Moment from BB16 was very satisfying, too, because it seemed like a formal ending to the season, but the BB19 last moment will prove to be unmemorable.  In fact, I've erased it from my mind already.

***ON THE FINAL BBAD EPISODE, ORWELL SURPRISED THE FINAL THREE WITH NOTHING***

And what do you know, the kitchen finally got cleaned.  I'll bet it took hours to clear out that sink and put everything away.  But what else do they have to do at this point?


Christmas had an angry look on her face as she straightened her hair.  I think she was expecting some sort of excitement, some presents or prizes from Orwell's Night Owls.


Paul cooked dinner and they all sat down to enjoy it.

Josh:  Now is the time where we talk shit about whoever made the food, and how they made it.

But Josh complimented Paul on the flavor of the rice, and the steak.  And take a look at that BBAD poll below.....I'm already tired of thinking about the possibilities tonight, but if Josh ends up giving Paul the boot in the #3 spot, surely that should earn him a few Jury votes.   Let's not forget HOW HIGH on pain killers Christmas was for most of July, and part of August.  She was like a piece of furniture in there, hardly the chops for a winner of a summer-long contest.

I just imagined the speech Christmas would make if she does make it to the Final Two, and when I got to the part about how she bragged about "winning" two HoH's I felt ill.


The dinner felt awkward.  Christmas was very snappy with Josh after he taunted her for taking so long to get ready for dinner.

Christmas:  You should NEVER complain about a woman taking time to get ready.  And you should be GRATEFUL to be in her presence.  Now say something fucking nice to me.

Such a lady, that Christmas Abbott.  There is a whole thread on Reddit that purports to expose some exaggerations about her various accomplishments, like how high up she actually placed in Crossfit competitions, how many books she's actually sold, and how long she actually worked on the Nascar pit crew.  I don't know what is true, or who is embellishing things, but it made me feel uncomfortable to read it.   In the old days, I guess you could just lie all the time and never get caught, but today's internet situation prevents that, apparently.

THE BIG NEWS:  As BBAD went to commercial, Orwell said that "there is no flying south" this year, because he'd "see us in January for celebrity surveillance".  So that might be the title.  Or the theme, but at least we know something now.


They all got in the same bed, and Josh jeered at Christmas for spending so much time getting ready for nothing.  Shortly thereafter Christmas got called to the DR, and as soon as she left the room Paul started talking to Josh about the questions the Jury will ask them, and he said he'll find out soon if the girl he was interested in is still interested in him.  It's kind of funny he waited until Christmas left the room to say that.

Before Christmas left for the DR, Paul told both of them that he competed on Candy Crush, on a team with Da'Vonne, and that they played against Frankie and Beast Mode Cowboy so they got beat.  Josh seemed to have a hard time understanding what Paul was telling them, but the cameras closed in on Christmas' face.  She clearly understood this was something Paul chose not to tell them about this summer.

Josh:  Is that show still on?

Christmas:  Yes.  They just premiered it.


And check out this tweet, letting us know about Celebrity Big Brother again.  And before you start commenting about it, CBS does NOT want to promote a bunch of reality people from other networks. (The Bachelor is on ABC, and CBS does not own MTV. )

Paul thinks his family probably already reached out to Josh's family, and might have even invited them over to the house for dinner.  Paul said last summer, after he was released from the backyard after all of his finale interviews, his mother picked him up with Victor and  Glenn already in the car.  (What a motley crew that must have been.)


Speaking of Victor, I'm sure he is very concerned about the devastation currently being created in Puerto Rico by Hurricane Maria.  Once again we have a history-making devastating storm going on, on the heels of the earthquake that killed hundreds of people yesterday in Mexico.

Hurricane Maria is expected to impact Florida this weekend, but how much and how badly is still to be determined.  But Puerto Rico will not be the same in our lifetime, I'm afraid.  If you don't know, Victor's parents sent him to live in Puerto Rico with his grandmother after Hurricane Katrina destroyed the schools in Louisiana, so he spent several years there and loved it.

So many tragedies this summer.


As the Final Three napped, the BBAD camera crew took a tour through the house, highlighting all of the juicy fake  and not-so-fake apples.




Speaking of snakes, Paul felt the need to comment on Jason's hair loss.

Paul:  You're already married with a kid, just shave it all off.  Who cares.

And he was very dismissive about Kevin's Richie's Rebels shirt.

Paul:  He wanted me to leave it here, so it could still be on camera.

Christmas:   What, like forever?

Paul, shrugging:  No...he wanted me to bring it back out with me or something.


It looks like your Granny's medical items, but they belong to Christmas, of course.


So many pawns.  Or butt plugs.  Whatever.


The evil glass apples.


The ultimate aphrodisiac, they say.  And they are probably correct.


The slippers remind me of Alex complaining about Kevin's shuffling feet.  And that reminds me of how Paul made up LIES to turn Alex and Kevin against each other.  For example, I NEVER heard Kevin say ANYTHING about "not wanting to lose to a girl", but Paul used that Fake News to make both Alex and Christmas angry, and the drama festered and grew from there.

(I heard Kevin say he didn't want to lose a race to a girl wearing a boot, but that's a different story.)


And Paul admitted this to Josh this week, so smug and proud of himself.  While it's true that Alex took the anger and hatred to a place that was astonishingly evil, Paul kept right on fanning the flames and feeling great about himself for turning them against each other.

If Kevin learned about this somehow, maybe from comparing notes with Alex, surely he will feel betrayed beyond belief by Paul, and would NEVER vote for him to win.  I was clearing out my DVR queue this week and ended up watching some old BBAD episodes that I never watched.  In one episode, Alex had just won HoH the first time and the house was abuzz with both excitement and dread about her plans.  Kevin was actually the one who encouraged a group to come together to make sure Cody was evicted, and it was strange to see how friendly Alex and Kevin were with each other. And Kevin was always surrounded with people who loved talking to him, and he was in his element, cursing and telling stories.

Ultimately this cruelty changed the entire experience for Kevin.  And Alex, too.  There was no need for her to expend so much hateful energy on something that should never have been there in the first place.


This is an interesting poll.  And seriously, how big can the celebrities be if they are going to agree to bathe in those damn shower stalls?  I'm already trying to console myself for being stuck with the likes of Brandi Glanville.  You know, people who will do anything to be on camera.


This will be my last BBAD picture for the season, which will be remembered for what Dr. Will said in the quote below.  I'm pretty sure we'll hear that quote, or a version of it, several times tonight.

I hope you're proud of yourself, Paul.  But what am I thinking.....I know you well enough now to be certain that you are always proud of yourself.  So good luck with that.  You may need it one day.


***BUSY WORK FOR THE JURY***

The Jury members obviously had a Crafternoon to keep busy, each creating original works of art.  They did this during BB13 and BB14, too, and CBS auctioned off the pictures to fans after the season, with the proceeds donated to charity.  So if you want to add one of these pieces to your collection, keep an eye on the CBS website for details.

Cody focused his art projects on his relationship with Jessica, and his military background.  Aren't "silkies" just a pair of fucking shorts?  I don't get why the shorts are so important to him.  I know he named the shorts as some sort of special item in the pre-season, too.  Whatever.


It's the thought that counts, right?  Even if it's not clear exactly what those thoughts were.  The picture on the right refers to Kevin's six suits he brought in the house, which he bought from Express.  It looks like something you'd hang up on your refrigerator after Father's Day projects at your kid's school.

I think it would have been brilliant to paint something that looks like what an inmate holds after being arrested, but with a BB Jail label or something.


Like this.  It would be brilliant, right?  That's a young Charles Manson, if you don't know.  The Manson Family murders happened in August 1969, so the numbers at the bottom of Charlie's prison placard must not be the date (12-15-71) unless they represent the date probation was scheduled to end or something.  Because by the time 1971 came around, Charlie's grooming made Paul look clean cut.

Charlie spent most of his life in some form of prison or another, starting in his teenage years.  So it's home for him, in there.



Now Mark is an artist with these two skillful paintings.  One of the Incredible Sulk, and the other of a kindly teddy bear stuffed into a pair of  pink shorts.  These paintings would be a welcome addition to any wall and should command top dollar from the fans.

Framing Tip:  You can pick out a cheap black frame at Micheal's craft store in just about any size you need.  If you want to change the color of the frame, you can use Rub & Buff to create a new look. One tiny tube goes a long, long way.  I used to buy school class and team pictures at antique stores from the turn of the century (the last turn, not the one that just happened) and use Rub & Buff to update the frames with my pinkie finger, since the pictures would probably crumble if I tried to take them out to reframe them.  So now I have an entire wall covered with those pictures, each in a different frame size and style, but all in the same Rub & Buff color.  Just a tip.


Jason is all about his business, and Iowa.  As best I can tell, the picture on the right includes the Iowa state flag, in the shape of Iowa itself.  I think the polka dots refer to Whistle-Nut's clown makeup, and the thing in the top left corner must relate to a bull, with the red flag and all.

Jason tried, ya'll.


Alex's work shows surprising restraint in the picture on the left, with good use of negative space.  And the picture on the right depicts the running commentary that goes on in her head, I think.

Is she giving us a tip about her vote here?


Elena's "art" from afar looks like what would be hanging up in the master bath in a VRBO beach condo.  Until you realize that the messages are "Just Give Up" and "Thug Life".

It's a look, I guess.


And we must agree that Matt has some graphic art skills visible in the Texas longhorns picture on the left.   Ironically I think that picture can command some high bids, because it actually represents something that many people relate to.  But the other two pictures look like someone else painted them, so who knows.  I think the one in the middle features cereal boxes, but the scale is all off, and the lack of color is uninteresting.

There is an artist that painted a whole series of cereal paintings that put Matt's to shame.


I actually proudly own one of that artist's peanut butter sandwich paintings. It makes me happy every day when I walk by and look at it.  I love me some PB&J.


And Raven highlighted one of her diseases in the picture on the left, and a nickname on the right.


I saw these images on Reddit first, though, and actually believed they were the real thing.



And the title song today comes from this classic Oasis song Don't Go Away.  I love Oasis, I love the song, and I love Liam Gallagher, the mouthy rogue that he is.

This season of Big Brother?  Not so much, no matter what happens on tonight's Finale.


 And because I just fell in love with Liam all over again, if you are also an Oasis fan I know you will enjoy this video of their TV debut in England.  The announcer, the audience dancing, and the youth of the band just kills me here.

I think Liam is on Wife #5 or #6 now.  Maybe it will be my turn soon. Surely I'll be good enough to be Wife #12 or #13.