Tuesday, September 12, 2017

A Whole Lot of Nothing. #BB19

Yesterday Kevin made a visit to the HoH room.  That's not something you see every day.  It can be painful though to see him bend over backwards to have a pleasant conversation with the other house guests though.  They are so frosty to him sometimes, for no good reason.  For example, Josh went on a rant yesterday about how all Kevin does is "shit talk everyone all day".

Who is Kevin doing this supposed shit-talking with?  The stuffed owl?

Josh:  Kevin needs to shut the fuck up! I'm so sick of him. I'm going to blow up on him....I almost blew up at him after his fucking speech.

OH YEAH:  Paul did not use the PoV, as expected.  Alex & Kevin are on the block for eviction, which will happen on Tuesday night (tonight) but will be televised on the Wednesday CBS episode.  I will tweet spoilers as soon as I get them.

And Christmas went on a PROFANE RANT about how she'd like to slam Kevin's head into the wall, because he doesn't deserve to be in the house.  Christmas also had some things to say about Jason.

Christmas: That motherfucker went back to bed to pretend he didn't know that I broke my foot!  He can shove it up his ass!  I hope his fucking balls fall off the next time he rides Ole!  He definitely has a loose screw.  I mean, I like his personality, he's fun, but he has a fucking screw loose.  He's a very strange guy to sit there and talk about his moral compass and his core values.  And then he lies and tells Raven and Matt that he has their back and will use the Veto and sets them up for complete destruction.

So...no wonder Kevin doesn't socialize with this group.  All they have in common is hatred, it seems.

While Kevin was in the HoH room, Paul saw an opportunity to try and talk to Alex, most likely to browbeat her into getting the Jury to vote for him, but I guess we'll never know.

Paul:  I know you don't want to talk to me, but I just have two points to make.

Alex:  I don't want to hear it.

Paul:  But, I want to tell you two points.

Alex:  I understand that, but I don't want to hear it.  You're selfish, now go.

Paul keeps pushing her though.

Paul:  But there's something you need to know about that happened from the very start of this game.

Alex:  I don't care.  I don't want to hear it.

Paul:  Okay.  I'll have to respect that.

After Paul made his retreat, Alex muttered to himself that the house was full of shady, counterfeit mother fuckers.  I'm surprised that Production has allowed Alex to stay in the Have Not room.  They usually shut the room down after the Have Not program is over for the year.

I heard Alex say that it seems like they turned off the AC in that room, so maybe that is a subtle hint to get ready to move out.  I've heard the house guests say that the Have Not room is one of the best places to sleep, despite the spikes, because it is very cool at night and there is no through-traffic.

Christmas let Paul rub her head for awhile, and from across the room Josh asked if the two of them were in a showmance and it was like the record scratched.

Paul:  What?  NO, FOOL.  What about our actions would lead you to think that?

Josh:  I don't know.  I feel like the third wheel sometimes.

Later, Josh told Paul that the Diary Room asked him about this conversation, and he was kind of apologizing to Paul for it.  Paul said it was probably funny, but he wants to make it clear to his girl back home that he is not interested in Christmas.

Paul:  And if she doesn't care anymore, I'll go fuck myself.  Or go over in the corner and lope mules with you, Josh.

(Um...okay.  And he only met that girl he calls "Little Burrito" a month before coming on the show.  Do you think she watches BB?  Do you think she saw Paul frolicking around wearing a pool floatie?)

So, I digress, but I think we can expect to see a segment on the CBS show on Wednesday about Christmas' unrequited love for Paul.  She's the one who made the statements directly to the camera last week about how she felt, so it's fair game now.  I have to say, to me the only thing worse than a romantic encounter with Paul Abrahamian would be getting rejected by Paul Abrahamian.

I mean, let's remember who we're talking about here.  Christmas Abbot is (or WAS) an icon in the fitness world.

But I guess we need to examine this evidence, too.  It's a picture of Christmas and her ex-fiance Geoff.  So.....I think we can conclude that the sooner Christmas leaves the house, the better off she'll be.  Let's call it damage control.

Josh put his bandana on Orwell.

When BBAD started, Alex was still posted on her Bed of Spikes, reading the Bible.  She is also praying with her rosary.  I realized I've never heard someone pray out loud with a rosary. I'm a little surprised by how repetitive the prayers are.  And I wonder if the prayers work if you are praying for votes for America's Favorite Player.  Because that's what she's doing now, and I think we can conclude that miracles do happen if Alex finishes in the top three.

(Alex has appealed to us several times now that she deserves our vote for AFP.)

Paul and Josh played chess, with Paul "coaching" Josh occasionally by challenging his moves and suggesting alternatives.

It was a nice quiet chess game, but I'm not sure that is what POP TV had in mind.

Kevin was even allowed to sit and watch.

Then he announced he was going back down to his corner ("cahner").

Kevin held a chat with his family and the live feeders, of course.    He says this is the hardest thing he's ever had to go through, right up there with the death of his brother Richie.

Kevin:  You have young girls yelling at you, right in your face, and you can't say anything back.  It's an interesting social experiment, that's for sure.

Kevin: How're you doin' Deb?  I hope the Patriots are playing good.  And I don't even know who won the fight.


Kevin:  I'm gonna tell 'em all in my speech. I've been a target from the very first day in here.  I was always the target, and I've really had to navigate these waters all summer.  The competitions were not that hard, but all of the best competitors have gone already....Cody, Jason, Mark, and also Jessica.  Alex too, she's good.  But no one left in here has won a physical competition.  No one.  And they can't call me a floater, because I've been fighting all my life!

(No one in the game at this point has any idea what the BB definition of "floater" is, including Kevin AND Paul.)

Kevin:  They won't let me cut my hair...look at this.....

Kevin: Andrea, I've got lots of competition outfits for you, and shirts.  Wait until you see it.

(Paul later told Kevin that he'll receive a box at his home with all of the competition clothing and gear and Kevin was utterly defeated by this, saying that Andrea is right here in California, so why can't he just give it to her while he's here?  He seemed ready to give up, not understanding why things happen the way they do in the BB house.)

Kevin: I can't wait to get home.   I can't wait.  These last 17 days have been the hardest for me.

Kevin said "I love you" to each child and their associated significant others, and cousins.  It was a long list, as you might imagine.


Kevin:  That's not me, right?  That's not a song.  Those are my kids' names.  Well, I might be out soon, or I might not.  Anything can happen...you just never know, right?  But I made Final Four...they sure didn't expect that!

Kevin gave the camera a smooch and headed off to bed.

Josh attended St. Thomas University, and I think Paul's sister went to medical school there, too.

Even though the island of St. Thomas was hit hard by Hurricane Irma, and obliterated in certain areas, it seems like the University will survive.

Some drama cropped up in the HoH room when Josh finally remembered to feed the fish.  Per Christmas, the fish are supposed to be fed twice daily, and it sounds like Josh may have skipped a few feedings.

One fish appears to be dying, and has lost color, and another is apparently looking quite unwell.  Josh had a loud tantrum over the sick fish not getting any of the food, so he started screaming and pounding on the glass.  Josh also tried to stick his head into the tank so he could "blow air in the fish's mouth".

Yes, Josh is an idiot.

Christmas made sure to let Josh know that during "her HoH" she fed the fish on schedule, even though she had a broken foot.  She had to stand on top of the bathtub, even though she's not supposed to "put any weight on her foot".

Paul points it out to us:  Kevin's dead.

The cameras quickly shifted to Kevin's Cahner, where apparently a civil conversation with Alex is taking place.  It's a miracle!

They discussed who would be reading the Bible next.  Alex was happy to pass it over to Kevin, but she wanted him to mark her place for her.  It was a civil conversation, which is shocking to see, unfortunately.

There was a mention of what day something happened, and Alex told Kevin in an offhand manner that he was going to need to know his days for the next competition.

Kevin took advantage of the opportunity to ask Alex a question about the game.

Kevin:  Do you know what's happening tomorrow?  Are we dressing up?  Are we doing anything?  Are we getting evicted?

Alex wasn't sure. I guess since she's not talking to Paul anymore, there's no way to know.

Kevin:  So tomorrow is a whole day of nothing again?  I can't believe it.

After the commercial break it seems that someone went to get Kevin so he could pay respects to the dead fish.  I'm not sure if they told him that they named the dead fish "Kevin" or not.

During BB5 (and probably earlier seasons) the fish tank was in the living room, and I remember that Nakomis used to pull a chair up to the tank and watch it for hours.  She named the fish, and the entire cast often sat and watched the fish interact and eat.  I remember one fish was named "Big Mother Trucker".

But the only time you really hear about the fish now is if one of them is ill.  I guess the purpose of the tank was to have a live camera view during a competition.  We have the Animal Shelter this season, but in past years (way before Jeff Fish) we saw the fish tank for hours  when the feeds were down.  There was a fan who would enlarge their screen to the point that they could see blurry images in the background, often correctly predicting when the house guests had finished playing, and sometimes who was wearing the PoV necklace.  And before that we had "FOTH" (Front of the House) camera views during competitions.

So a lot has changed, and the live feed experience is so much better than when it was broadcast by Real Network.  No shade on them, but that whole process seems so primitive now.  You had to download a special Real Player application in order to watch, and the live feeds would time out every 30 minutes, causing you to reboot if you were still watching.  Which you were, so it was very annoying.  That was the birth of apps like BB Viewer, which wouldn't time out and made some aspects of the live feed experience easier.

Josh ran down to the kitchen to get some tongs, determined to take the dead fish out of there so he wouldn't be tormented looking at it.  I was hoping he wouldn't go through with it...I don't know if that is a salt or fresh water tank, but you can't introduce a potentially-dirty kitchen implement into the environment without hurting the fish.

Christmas threw scorn at Josh for this, telling him to get a glove instead.  (The gloves they use to wash the dishes and scrub the counters?  With all of the chemicals on them?)


(So thank God someone in the Control Room still cares.)

Kevin apparently told Paul that Alex said they needed to know the days for the next competition, and this sent Paul into a frenzy, ordering his lackeys to get downstairs and make sure Kevin and Alex don't talk.  Christmas scurried right down there with a rolling pin, under the guise of helping Kevin's sore arm.  They had nice conversation, but I couldn't help thinking about how Kevin's words would be twisted later by Christmas, during her report to her master Paul.

Kevin told her that after he watched Josh run around the first day yelling at "the blonde haired girl" (Megan?) he couldn't believe what was going on in there, and indicated that he told the DR that there is "no way" he would ever agree to do BB ever again.  He also indicated that when they were locked down in the HoH the first week, a Beatles song played and Alex apparently said "the Beatles suck, let's hear some Britney Spears".

Kevin:  I went in the DR and said, did you hear what she said about The Beatles and Britney Spears?

Too bad that sort of thing isn't the material tested on the competitions, because Kevin would win.

Paul and Josh worked out in the living room, using the furniture creatively for resistance.  It made me sad to hear Kevin ask them if it was okay for him to sit in the room and watch.

Kevin:  Is that okay, for me to just sit and watch?  I won't say a thing.....I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Josh was really working hard, and I guess Kevin couldn't help from commenting on it.

Kevin: You guys are so good.  I feel like a proud dad watching my sons!

Thankfully, Paul didn't rip him a new one for daring to speak in his presence.  They agreed that Josh has changed dramatically since the beginning of the summer, and the workouts are really paying off.

Kevin:  But that doesn't change his face though.  Josh was always going to be a handsome guy.


Today the BB Comics for the entire cast, except the players still in the game were released today.  Everyone except Megan, who is not qualified for her own BB Comic, since she dipped out of the game, caving into the pressure.  If Megan hadn't quit, she probably would have been evicted, and the entire game might have been different, because then Cody wouldn't have had to nominate Paul, and then Christmas.  Paul still would have had the Pendant of Protection, but the fan base might have been complaining about the Showmances steamrolling the entire house instead.

So same shit, different players.  And that's always how it goes.  Some fans are happy, some are pissed off.  And sometimes that ratio is very lopsided, like this year.  The Paul Fans are Big on Excuses, though.  I've noticed that.  They make lots of excuses for the things he says and does.  But he's winning, so maybe they can just be thankful for that.  What he has accomplished is pretty significant, and should probably be studied like the Stanford Prison Experiment.

But I digress.  Cameron is The Super Fan, but he's apparently the sort of Super Fan who DOES NOT like showmances, because he's chasing down Rachel & Brendon and Jeff & Jordan with his spinning hands.  I think they could have had fun with Cameron's job though, maybe showing him in a laboratory with some brightly-colored test tubes, mixing up some lethal potion.

But Cameron likes it though.  But he's too nice a guy to complain about it.  He's just happy to be included, probably, since they bumped his Memory Wall picture for Potty Mouth Paul.

And here's Cody...he's The Stare Crow. and His Gaze Will Get You.  I like the idea, because Cody was certainly big on staring while he was in the BB house, but I'm not sure how a common scarecrow would obtain these special powers, or why folks would scream and run from him.  Maybe they're just surprised to see a scarecrow walk around. I could see that.  I'll bet the people in the background are friends of the artist, particularly the dude screaming in the red shirt.  He's just too specific-looking to be random.

And Dominique's comic is kind of a no-brainer, since she coined the term herself.  They depicted her face especially well...I think she's probably quite pleased with this.  I think this comment was tweeted before the comics were released, but I'm not sure about that.

I just realized something....could they be referring to Dominique as a "minator", based on the capitalization and emphasis in the title?  It's not spelled correctly, if so, so probably not. Just a random thought.

And Jason is Whistle-Nut, of course, and "He's a Nut Job".  I heard the house guests talk about this, and they all think BB really hooked Jason up with a BB Comic he would love.  I like the peanuts on his suit, and the cowboys surrendering and running at the sound of his whistle.  And Ole the Bull looks good here, too, stamping his hoof in approval.  This was probably the easiest cartoon this artist drew all day, because like Dominique, Jason has scripted his own moniker which is quite evocative.

And Team Whistle-Nut approves, too.

And Jessica's is very good, too. She's The Hex Symbol, and you should Beware of her Hex Appeal, which two cartoon dudes definitely did not do.  And it does resemble her, at least the body and the hair.

I guess she likes it, but I can't be certain of that.

And Jillian's probably hits close to home, or close to the vacation home.  She's the Timeshare Tyrant, and She'll Give You a Killer Deal.  I'm not going to crap all over Jillian's profession, which I'm sure she's very good at, but I do want to point out all of the panicked residents of the building, trying to escape.

(Google it.)

I think the picture looks like her, and surely she will like her figure in the comic.  She hasn't tweeted about it yet, but she did say this.

And Mark's BB Comic was an easy one, too, since someone on Twitter already made this connection.  Mark is The Incredible Sulk, and we should Fear his Tears.  This looks a lot like Big Meech's comic last year, except she certainly wasn't as ripped as Big Mark.  She was looking rather tubby in a pink onesie, as I recall.

(And if you don't know Tears for Fears, here is a good starting place.  Or here.  But that has nothing to do with Big Mark.)

Here is Michelle's BB Comic from last year, for easy reference.  Maybe that's a match made in heaven, actually.   They did Michelle dirty with this, at least the depiction of her body, because she actually has the body of a supermodel.  It's true.  She does.

Matt's BB Comic makes me uncomfortable, but I'm not sure why. I'm not a fox expert, but he looks more like a squirrel to me.  But Matt is The Silver Fox, and If You See the Gray, You Better Pray.  A subtle sign of disrespect is the appearance of The Raven here, with Raven's trademarked hair buns.

In other words, Matt wasn't enough to have his own BB Comic, and years from now if this is hanging in Matt's office, The Raven will be there, too.  And who knows, maybe Matt will like it that way.  I cant predict what Matt likes, after this summer.

But what are we praying for?  Is The Silver Fox supposed to scare us?  Maybe he's rabid, or just creepy.  Who knows.

Note that last summer, Corey's BB Comic featured Nicole quite prominently.  And we got to hear Corey low-key complain about that on the live feeds.  But comparing Matt to Corey is not even fair.  Corey won competitions and changed his clothing frequently.

Ramses is The Cosplayer, and He's a Master of Disguise.  Ramses sure looks ripped here, doesn't he?  It's no surprise that Ramses approves of this.  It's  pretty awesome, actually.

And finally we have Raven, who is The Arkansaassin, and She'll Get Arkansassy on Your Assy.  Okay.....so I guess there was a creative block in the drawing room or something.  It doesn't look much like Raven, and they didn't give us anything to chew on with that makeup job.  But The Arkansassin is going after that money, isn't she?  She's reaching out to snatch it with her claws from that weird-looking dude.

But you'd think they'd really go in for the kill after that Zingbot harshness about Raven's "Clownietard".  Take a look at what I posted way back on July 5th, barely one week into the live feed experience.  Look how skinny Raven was, and look how I might have teed up a great BB Comic idea for Raven.   They could have stuck some claws and maybe some black wings on her, and she could have been The Nutcracker, who is Out to Crack Your Nuts.  But no one asked me, of course.

And you all know by now that Paul's BB Comic was The Potty Mouth, and it was not appreciated by Paul from his chatter on the live feeds.  Let me remind you of Paul's BB Comic from last summer, when he was The Motormouth, and Your Boy is Pissed.  And it was so meta, with a tattoo of Paul's tattoo and all.  It will be very interesting to see how they might have depicted Paul's potty mouth.

Whatever they did, Paul seems positive that his edit is not as peachy as it was last season.  And don't let Paul fool you, he certainly cares about that.  Maybe The Potty Mouth Never Cared, but Paul sure does.