Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Let's Hurry Up and Have a Good Time. #BB19

Last night, just as BBAD started, Christmas came out of the Diary Room and asked everyone to gather in the living room.  People were excited, and probably a little nervous, but Paul just had to Be Paul and let everybody know that he knew ALL ABOUT IT, because HE WAS ON BB LAST SEASON, TOO.

Paul:  It'a a Pop TV card...it's a present from Pop TV.  We got that last year, too, but we got it when we were the final three.

(Last year Paul called "Orwell's Night Owls" "fucking weirdos", and Nicole complained about the sugar cookie making kit they received as a gift.  But they did decorate some sugar cookies, even if they weren't happy about it, as you see in the linked post.  But the night before that the BB18'ers  also got a delivery, and it was clear that none of the BB18 Final Three even knew what Pop TV is.)

So last night Christmas got to read the card to the group, who immediately started cheering when they heard that Pop TV would be setting up a little outdoor party for them, complete with the fixings to grill their dinner, and enjoy some beer, too.  Everyone rushed to the storage room to gather up all of the food to take it outside.

Except Josh, who ran straight to the backyard and chugged a can of beer as quickly as he could.  They were crowing about how they wanted to get drunk, but that became a pipe dream when they learned that they only had enough beers for two cans each.

Josh: I was in the middle of cooking chicken though.

Christmas: Don't complain.

Kevin brought out some corn on the cob ("cahn") and a tray with sliced onions and some cheese, I think.

Kevin:  It seems so late.  Why give it to us so late?

(They have NO IDEA that Pop TV is live from 9:00 - 12:00 every damn night.)

Everything felt hurried and rushed, like all of the treats were going to disappear if they didn't grab them immediately.  All that time spent sitting around and complaining about being bored and then they finally have something and they want to speed right through it.

Josh brought out a plate of sliced tomatoes and some condiments.

They got a badminton set and some hula hoops.  It took Alex less than five minutes to "break" the badminton set by getting the birdie stuck in the webbing of the racket.  And everyone was LOUD.  I kept turning the sound on my headphones lower, and lower, and lower.

They also got the BB Cornhole game, too, and Christmas explained the rules to everyone.  If the beanbag lands on the ground, you don't get any points, but if it lands on the board you get one point. If the beanbag goes in the hole, you get more points, but I don't remember how many.  I find a bunch of rules kind of boring, unless they apply to me.  I do know that the first player to score 21 points wins.

Raven's various health issues don't prohibit her from drinking beer, I noticed.  She also ordered a burger well done, really living on the edge of her previously-discussed health issues.  I've been trying to decide who has gained more weight----Alex or Raven.  It might be a tie, but that's not a competition that you want to win.  One of the funniest things to me was when Matt was wigging out on  Jason for "hiding" in the storage room after last week's nominations, he kept shrieking that Jason was afraid of a "105 pound girl".

I was like, "who is that"?  No one in that house weighs 105 pounds.  I watched Raven get out of bed a few days ago, in the middle of the night, to cook and eat bacon.  Yes, bacon.

Christmas took control of the grill, and once again it felt like we were having a race, trying to hurry, hurry, hurry and get it all over with.   Paul obviously felt the need to assert some level of control, as he commandeered some of the corn to create "eloute", which is a Mexican method of grilling corn with mayonnaise and cheese.

The brats were cooked first and I think everybody ate one.

Then it was time for the corn.  Jason made sure to get an ear that was plain, without any spices or extras, but he did rub a stick of butter on it.  I think he ate two ears of corn, actually.   Christmas took orders on the burgers, and ended up making a few "PB&J burgers" to eat with Josh and Paul.  Josh said he would especially enjoy eating that burger if he was stoned, so Paul said he has a place to take Josh in LA that is going to blow his mind.

(If anybody receives word from home this week, it should be Josh, because Miami is about to get SLAMMED by Hurricane Irma, which is a damn MONSTER right now.)

They hula-hooped, but both Christmas and Raven said that the hoops were lighter than they should be, but that didn't stop them from using them.  It looks like they get to keep the games and the badminton set, but maybe only until the next lockdown.  I recognize the grill as being from BB16, I think.

Josh wanted more alcohol, and so did Christmas.  They agreed they were about one more drink away from feeling just fine.

It didn't take long for the little party to break up.  Raven left at one point, perhaps to visit the DR, and there was a surprisingly-open conversation about how irritated Paul is with having to live with her.  Apparently they didn't realize how annoying it would be to have her hanging around every minute.  Christmas often "jokes" that they should have kept Matt, and now she suggests Paul tell Raven directly that she needs to stop screaming and squealing so close to his head.

I doubt Paul will do that, though. He doesn't want a long-term solution -- he'll never talk to most of these people again.  During one of the commercial breaks I think he just said he wanted to be alone or something, and then that became the topic of conversation----about how bummed out Paul was, and how they should tiptoe around him.  I've heard that he may have received some sort of bad news from home, and only told Christmas about it.  Some fans are speculating that his dog died, or his "girlfriend" broke up with him, but there is NO WAY that he should be receiving any news like that inside the house.  (When Frankie and Derrick both received news of their grandpas' death during BB16, it was a rather formal announcement in the DR, so perhaps we'll see that on the show.)

I think the fucking pool floatie sprung a leak, or maybe Paul bumped it up on the grill.  Whatever happened, Christmas worked to fix the leak (maybe with a repair kit?) and then blew it back up with the cameras leering at her.

In the hot tub, Jason had a little talk with Josh, where he made it clear that he's pretty fed up with the situation in the house.  He's tired of certain people telling everybody else what to do all of the time, mentioning how this same person orders Josh around constantly.

Jason:  I'm at the point where when I see people in a conversation, I don't even want to go in the room.  I'm tired of hearing everybody talk about everybody else when they're not there..  And it doesn't sit right with me to send out Kevin before Raven.

Josh: I know.

(I was waiting for Josh to spill the beans to Jason about the real plan this week, but he didn't.  If Josh wants someone in the house who will target Paul, though, he needs to scoop up Jason right now.)

Jason:  And of course no one dares to say anything about it.....you can't do that around here.

Jason also said he wished he'd given his two beers to Kevin, because all that beer did is make Jason feel full.  It didn't mean anything to him, he said.

Let's check in on our favorite puppies....can you recognize the tiny tail?

How about the furry belly?

These two dogs are just non-stop action, running up and down the kennel to put on a show.  The one on the right likes to run and get on that little raised bed before racing back to the camera area.

It's the cutest puppy in metro area....I'll just go out on a limb and make that bold statement.  And with two of them, it's just too much cuteness.  And on a practical note, terriers usually don't shed, and are known as being very smart dogs, who can live 15-18 years if you take good care of them.

On Sunday night, Jason and Kevin had a good talk about a variety of topics.  Alex was laying face down in her bed for the entire conversation, and actually chimed in here and there on several topics, but she was pretty subdued and didn't make any mean comments, which is nice.

Kevin told a story about a Ouija Board, and he kept getting interrupted, first by Jason making comments demonstrating that he did not believe in that nonsense, and then by Josh coming in several times, which caused Kevin to start and restart the story several times.

Kevin:  Don't you want to hear the story?  It's true...don't you want to hear it?

Me: YES.  YES.  Please tell us the damn story before the commercial break.

And as luck would have it, the crew waited to break until Kevin got the end of the story out.  Thank you, BB crew.  I know you feel our pain, probably times ten, but at least you are getting paid handsomely.  Or just paid.  Whatever.

Anyway, here is Kevin's story.

*  Kevin took his kids to one of the game stores, and he listed the usual suspects among the attendees.  He explained that this group always went around together, so he took the whole group shopping.   One of the girls wanted the Ouija Board, so Kevin bought it for her.  Andrew, Kevin's son, was around seven at this time, so it's about 8-9 years ago (my calculation, not Kevin's).

*  They got home and set up the game board.  Kevin described the little triangular table that gets pushed around the Ouija Board.  It was around this time that I realized Alex wasn't really sleeping, because she added that everyone was supposed to put their fingertips on the triangle piece (a "planchette", I think it is called).  I think the point of all of this explanation is to paint a picture of it all for Jason, who has never played with an Ouija Board, but is highly skeptical anyway.

*  They got home and Kevin set up the Ouija Board, and they started to play with it.  The planchette started moving around to various letters, first an R, then an O, then an N.  When they realized it spelled "Ron" the girls screamed and freaked out, and didn't want to play anymore.  Kevin took the game downstairs and put  it on a shelf in the basement.

*  Some time later, Kevin went down to the basement to get something.  He paused in his story to tell us that he never told his daughters this, addressing them in the camera, and then announced this was an exclusive scoop, but when he went to the basement, the Ouija Board box had fallen off the shelf.

*  He took it back upstairs and they set up the board to play again.  When the planchette spelled out "W-I-L-L" the girls freaked out again so Kevin took the game back to the basement.

*   On Halloween that year, the girls wanted to visit Taunton State Hospital, which was a spooky old insane asylum that seems as if it was partially abandoned years ago, but is still in use today in one form or another.  Kevin knew that the kids like to run around and see other kids from school, or whatever, so he waited in the car while they ran up to the building.  I think he could hear screaming, but he thought it was all in good fun, a normal Halloween caper.

*   When the girls came back to the car, they were very upset and it sounds like a weird guy was chasing them around the building after spying on them.

*  Some time later, a guy was arrested or captured around the hospital for trespassing or some other crime, and Kevin dared the group to guess the guy's name.

Jason:  Ron Wilson?

Kevin:  No, it was RON WILLIAMS.  Swear to god, it was Ron Williams.

Then we immediately broke for commercial.  I tried to find the receipts for the story, but all I could find is this, from February 2009, which would seem to fit the general time frame, but of course it is a fairly generic name, in a large metro area, so who the hell knows.

Maybe it's all a big misunderstanding.

Kevin enjoyed the BB camera's limelight for a few more minutes, announcing that he was very thankful to have had Jason and Alex as roommates this summer, or the boredom would have killed him much earlier in the summer.

He also talked to his new friend "Bobby" from SNL, which has given them all a little jolt of excitement since he told them he watches the live feeds with his wife.  Apparently Bobby got a little tour of the house, because I heard Raven tell Christmas how strange it was for Bobby to point to the spot where she "hurt her foot", so she knows he does watch the feeds.

Raven:  I wonder if he saw what Matt and I did.....(her face kind of fell as she said that)

Christmas, with a slight sneer:  What did you and Matt do, Raven?

Raven: Oh you know, just chasing each other around....

(Uh huh.  Maybe you should have learned what PoP TV was beforehand, because you didn't even need the live feeds to see the bedroom action broadcast on BBAD.)

Kevin wants to buy an old Cadillac, and asked Jason to keep an eye out for one that might be coming up on auction.   

Kevin:  I'll wire you the money to buy it.

Jason thinks he would have advance notice for a week or so, and says his friend Don bought a classic Cadillac for about $12,000, and it's worth three times that.  Kevin couldn't believe what a deal that was, and is glad to know that Don works on old cars and is well-known for his expertise.

Kevin:  I wouldn't store it anywhere though, I'd be out driving it in the neighborhood, playing the radio and enjoying it.

Jason calls this his "baby making shirt" since it came in the HoH letter with the news of the new baby.  It's pink and blue, mixed together, but I don't think those two colors will suffice for much longer.  I have filled out two different forms in the past month where in the space for "gender" there were FOUR different choices, and I didn't even understand one of them.

Jason is having a hard time remembering what Holly looks like, and he can't wait to see his son.  In Holly's letter apparently she mentioned that Ole is acting weird, and is "stress eating" quite a bit.  (LOL aren't we all)

Kevin: You better not sneak up on Ole when you get home, you'll give him a heart attack!

When they went in the storage room the two of them fantasized about finding a bottle of wine in there.

Kevin:  No wine......M & M's it is, then.  I was ready to run to the kitchen and get two of those blue glasses so we could drink it all.  Would you tell anybody else about it?

Jason:  Hell no.  I wouldn't even get a glass.  I'd want to chug that motherfucker right here, and then go to bed.

Kevin: You got a good point, Jason.

I think Kevin is pretty sure Jason is getting evicted on Thursday, but Jason thinks Kevin will be the one to go.  Kevin has told Jason that if Jason gets evicted, Kevin will get up and walk out with him, but surely Production will not let that happen.  Kevin has too much respect for the rules to do that, and the end is very near.

Bobby Moynihan told them that his new show premieres on September 25th, and Jason already knew that the new season of Survivor premieres on September 28th, so they think the finale will occur the week before then.  Kevin can wait that long, but of course I'll be interested to see what happens when Jason is voted out on Thursday, probably via a tie vote broken by Christmas.

When the lights went out Kevin asked Jason what he thinks the cameras see when they're in bed.

Kevin: What if I adjust myself.....will they think something else is going on down there?

Jason:  No...I'm sure they know...it's okay.

Kevin:  I mean the people watching at home....what if they see me adjusting?

(How in the hell would Jason know?)

Moments later, BB asked Jason to go to the Diary Room, and he jumped up and started the process.

Kevin:  Remember the enthusiasm we all had two months ago when we got called to the DR?

Apparently when Jason got in there, he was told to put his PoV costume back on, so he went in the Have Not room and scrounged around for the suspenders and bow tie.  Now that there are no more Have Nots, they will probably need to pull everything out of there so the room can be closed down.

Raven foraged around for a snack.

She settled on cereal, most likely Froot Loops.

Would you ever have guessed that the Final Seven would be this group of house guests?  Particularly since the season looked like the Showmances were going to rule the roost?  I'm sure Raven is thinking about Matt...I wonder what sort of conversations are being conducted in the Jury House? Did Raven wake up with her nose itching?  (Or is it your ears that itch when someone's talking about you?)

I'll bet Paul's name is coming up quite a bit......I predict that Cody and Mark will be suitably DISGUSTED to see the next HoH competition.  Why would anyone vote for someone to win the game who just threw away their chance to be HoH?

There was a big fight on the live feeds, too, with biting, scratching, and lots of dodging and weaving.  I thought the footage might be on fast forward, these puppies were moving so fast.

These puppies really left it all on the field.  They weren't ready to throw in the towel.  Hell no.

Unless it's snack time.  Or ear-scratching time. They'll call a time out for those activities.