Tuesday, August 29, 2017

You Got Got, Brah. Now Get Over It. #BB19

There is just too much sadness and cruelty in the world right now.  Things were bad enough already, with all of the political turmoil and hateful terrorist attacks being committed regularly, and then seemingly-forgotten days later.

So we didn't need this.


My heart breaks for the people in Texas, and also the animals.  My heart just can't take it.  Please donate to the Red Cross and also to the Houston Humane Society if you can spare it.  If you think it can't happen to you, you're wrong.  We had eight straight days of torrential downpours here in Atlanta in 2009, resulting in catastrophic flooding.  And even then, what we experienced is NOTHING like what is happening now in Houston, nor what happened after Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans.

I really don't care about Big Brother anymore.  So I apologize to the many daily readers out there, but I am limping to the finish line now.  I'll try to finish the season, but as of right now I just don't care.

Well, that's not true, because you have to care to be able to hate someone. So maybe what I'm feeling is apathy with a few short bursts of caring hatred, which miraculously goes away as soon as I resume my normal life.

*****

I took a bunch of pictures during yesterday's post-PoV ceremony fiasco, so let's just blow through them.  If you are keeping an eye on this season, then you probably already know all of this, anyway.

The feeds were down for about an hour for the PoV ceremony, which is standard this season.  When the feeds return we see Jason in storage with Paul and Alex.  The air feels frantic, but Alex is jubilant.  And Paul has on that goddamn pool floatie.

I just realized that I was still following Paul on Twitter, so I promptly unfollowed him. I encourage you to do the same.  Paul doesn't really tweet much, anyway, so you're not missing anything once the season is over.  But losing followers DOES matter to him......so UNFOLLOWING him is all I can do.

Everyone is being hateful in there, but Paul is the one who started it, and is continuing to fuel the fire. Did you see him terrorize Bridgette last year and then gloat afterwards with Paulie that "he broke her"?  He's a shitty human being and doesn't deserve our support.  He doesn't need it, either, so there's that.


Raven got all gussied up yesterday for what she was sure would be a heart-warming PoV Ceremony where she was saved by Jason, with Kevin going up in her place.  Matt even wore his treasured Orange Blouse for the occasion.

So Raven was going through some changes as reality set in, that she and her fuckbuddy Matt are on the block for eviction.


Christmas has done nothing but verbally shred Raven behind her back this week, but put on quite a show of support here.


Raven and Matt went outside and she was cursing like a sailor out there.  Because Raven feels like she is a "good player" being cornered by a "bad player".

And Matt was not only accepting defeat, he was embracing it with open arms and uncovered armpits, because Matt and Failure have likely been old friends for many, many years.


I had to switch to the QuadCam to keep an eye on the action.  Matt's "action" included immediately announcing that he planned to violate the Have Not rules by eating "real" food every day, taking hot showers, and sleeping in the Rose Room with Raven.  I think I'm going to shit talk Matt in a few moments, so if you don't want to read that, you might want to leave now.


OK...Raven is swearing that Jason had a great talk with her this morning, and could have told her he wasn't using the PoV.  I actually watched that "great talk" and it included Jason asking Raven what she and Matt talk about with each other.

Raven: I don't know.  Real life stuff.

At the time Matt was sitting on the backyard couch, staring off in to space as he licked his lips and smoothed his mustache compulsively.  Jason asked Raven what Matt must be thinking about right now, out there on that couch.

Raven: Right now?  I don't know.

So the "great talk" wasn't that great, to be honest with you.  And in the storage room, Jason is reiterating his plan to be the one to suck up all of Maven's wrath, without exposing the fact that everyone else in the house was in on it.


And fucking Paul kept prancing around in his pool floatie from group to group, trying to keep tabs on all of the conversations in hopes that no one says anything to blow up his game.

But these people are all SO STUPID that even when information is revealed that leads to the truth, they won't believe it.


Later, Matt put on his Nike shoes and took a long, restful dirt nap with a purple blanket over his head.


If you didn't get that reference, then you have some reading and learning to do.  And if you do recognize that reference, you probably know that I didn't mention the SELF-CASTRATION that occurred before the dirt nap began.  Not that we'd notice that on Matt, of course.


Why would anyone take these actions?  Because this guy told them to.


I mean, just stick a ratty nest of hair scavenged from the drain on this nutjob, and take some colored Sharpies to draw some dark shapeless blobs on his skin, and you've got Paul.  Just saying.

I've been "approached" several times by religious groups over the years.  Twice that I remember while I worked in a department store in college.  They would just come right up to me and ask me to meet them at the services that night, handing me a card with the address on it.  I was polite, because I was working.  But the time I was accosted TWICE in one day as I walked across the National Mall in Washington from one museum to the other, I was not working.  And while I might have looked small and malleable from a distance, an attractive conquest, I can assure you that is NOT the case.  The second time they approached me, I got very loud, telling the young man quite clearly that he was BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE HERE and that I was NOT IN THE MARKET TO JOIN A CULT,  Homeboy couldn't scurry away fast enough, because there were a lot of people out there on the Mall that day.

And if you think I'm referring to a Mall with Dippin' Dots and a Panda Express, I command you to log off the internet and pick up some books before it is TOO LATE.

 All right...all right.  Back to the damn shit show.  Christmas, Paul and Josh gathered in the bathroom to hear the action kick off, muttering and giggling about it all.


Raven got real nasty here, and kept referring to an incident where she said Jason came over and "whispered in her ear" that he planned to save one of them this week.

Did that happen?  I doubt it.  Jason isn't a big whisperer, and Raven knows that she is making a claim that no one else can confirm.  Because it was whispered, you know.

But even Raven can't top Matt's nasty and asinine display here.  It was kind of funny, because all of a sudden Matt feels the need to get involved, and when push comes to shove, Matt is TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY  to push OR shove.

Instead, Matt starts YELLING at Jason for "hiding in the storage room" and also reports that Jason "doesn't have any testicles" several times, adding at one point that Holly Dent will have to deal with that situation later.

NEWSFLASH:  Holly Dent will knock Matt right the fuck out.  She won't even get her hands dirty by hitting Raven. Welcome to Iowa Matt.  Let the good folks of Iowa show you their testicles, instead of just talking about it.


In the real world, Jason and Kevin don't sit around fielding verbal insults like this.  Instead they use their fists to address people like Matt Clines.  So while I am not surprised that Jason didn't exactly have the gift of gab in this argument, I am very impressed that he didn't make any moves that indicated he was about to slap the fuck out of Matt.

Jason is too ambitious for that.  He's having a new baby, and he knows that Humeston is watching.  Jason has ALREADY won this season, as far as his career goes, so this is all just icing on his cupcake.

And you can see Kevin made his way over to Jason, squaring off against Matt with a steely stare.  Even if Matt ends up having Diabetes Type II (or whatever) from eating all of that sugary cereal, or a MRSA infection from wearing that filthy blouse and rolling around with Raven, he might never be as close to death as he was right here.

Matt's frat boy high-pitched squealing and scampering to-and-fro wearing GIRLS' FOOTIE SOCKS will speak for themselves on the Wednesday night CBS episode.  You'll see it.  You'll know.

Kevin later told Jason that if someone said that to him, about his being a pussy and dragging his family into it, they'll find out what he'll do.  And I believe him.


As the talking died down, there was an incredibly tense few minutes, probably at least five minutes of SILENCE, with everyone just sitting there staring at each other.

Look at fucking Paul down there, in that stupid blow up toy.  Maybe in Paul's cult they will all wear blow up floaties instead of the purple blankets on the Day of Death.  Why not launch that dirt nap with another layer of utter embarrassment for the family that you leave behind, while you're at it.


***crickets***


***and more crickets***


It went on for a long, long time.  It sounds like there would have been no problem if Jason had just told them that he didn't like them, and wanted them out.  And all of the fans watching were waiting in vain for Paul's game to get blown up, making it all worth it.

But it didn't happen.  And it won't.  It's far too late for that.  The best we can truly hope for is that Josh has the power at the end, cutting Paul out to be the last member of the Jury.


And the issue that pushed me right over the edge was when Christmas later started bitching at Kevin in the kitchen,  just because she was tired of Kevin and his Kevin-isms.  And she wanted attention, of course. Christmas wants to be sure she makes that CBS edit this week, kids.

Kevin:  Christmas are you going to jump in the pool later?

Christmas:  WHAT? GOING TO JUMP IN THE POOL?  I'VE HAD A BROKEN FOOT ALL SUMMER AND YOU ASK ME IF I'M GOING TO JUMP IN THE FUCKING POOL?

And so on.  And then Josh came over and got into it, demanding to know if Kevin took the $25,000 and then asking him to swear on his kids, his family.

Kevin LOST IT and told Josh to GO AHEAD, MENTION MY FAMILY AGAIN.

The feeds went to FISH for quite some time, and then to the Animal Shelter, so we knew it was serious.  It sounds like Kevin picked up a glass and said he wanted to smash it in Josh's face, maybe even threatening to choke him out.  But he didn't do it.

And when the feeds returned Kevin had to make his apologies, just like Big Mark did after the pickle juice incident.  And now Paul is spreading rumors that Kevin is an actor, in addition to being an undercover cop and Derrick's best friend.

And Alex threw out the batch of slop that had been cooked, later blaming it on Matt and Raven.  And since Kevin is now the only Have Not, he's the only one who needs slop, and everyone knows that Kevin can't cook.  So these bastards were LAUGHING at him being hungry.  Paul wanted to hide the instructions for cooking slop, out of spite.

I think Jason later tried to walk Kevin through the cooking process.  I was trying to like Christmas, but this situation has totally turned me against her.  I expected more from her, at least trying to protect her public image, if nothing else.  Christmas Abbott is a weak little follower, after all, nowhere near the "badass" that she projects in her products for sale.

AN UGLY FUCKER WEARING A POOL FLOATIE IS A BIGGER BAD ASS THEN YOU, CHRISTMAS ABBOTT.

I told you I was going to be mean today.  Maybe tomorrow, too.


*****

A poster on Reddit has thoughtfully reminded us of all of the house guests who went for the $25,000 on Premiere night.  I already told you that Jason won the practice round.  but the following house guests also tried and failed to win the money, in addition to Jason and Kevin.

*  Cody
*  Raven
*  Mark
*  Alex
*  Ramses


*****

And I know about Jason's inappropriate comments, too.  I saw it happen, and it is taken out of context if you just watch the YouTube snippet.  Kevin already told Jason that he doesn't care what Jason has said, and that it's only the game.  Kevin also said that Jason would get his vote no matter who he is sitting next to in the end.

Trust me, Kevin's family has too much to be angry about than to turn on Jason about this very inappropriate joke.

*****

I had some pictures and topics to discuss of my usual,  more mundane nature, but I don't feel like that stuff right now.  I'll save it for later, maybe.

Right now somebody's dog is paddling down the street in Houston trying to avoid the 350 alligators that are about to escape into the streets.  None of this Big Brother crap matters next to that.

Wil Heuser Saves the Day with A New Episode of The Saga. #BB19

I really needed this today, because I am struggling to continue.  In this thought-provoking episode of The Saga, Julie Chen is obviously struggling, too.

*  Julie eats her feelings.  We've all been there, Julie.

*  Cody and Elena are yadda-yadda'ed right out the damn door.

*  Raven has A LOT of new tragedies to tell us about.  Maybe we wouldn't have all been so harsh on her if we knew the real truth, as disclosed here by the defendant Ms. Walton.

*  Julie calls Raven a "Crystal Meth Ronald McDonald".  That's a new one, isn't it?

*  Wil's portrayal of Matt is much more attractive than Matt's actual persona.  And 43% less of a dumbass, too.

And Wil's not really eating that cake, obviously.  Wil has the best legs in the business.  When he used to run around the BB backyard, I'll bet at least half of the women watching would have traded their wheel's for Wil's.   And he was a healthy eater, too. He didn't eat all of that fat-laden crap that Chef Joe dished up.  Hell no.

But I digress.  Anything not to have to talk about the absolute nightmare that the BB19 house had devolved into....