Friday, August 25, 2017

So Caught Up in the Mustard That They Can't Ketchup. #BB19

Another live show is in the record books, and as usual there are a variety of opinions from the fans about it.  But saying that the Big Brother Fan Community can be negative is like saying water is wet.

I think it's best for us to view Julie tonight up close, with just the dark part of her dress visible.

Or far away, like this.  Her hair and makeup looked pretty though.

Julie's skirt reminded me of this frozen pop from childhood.

We saw this footage of Kevin giving Paul a beatdown with the blow up swans.  I think this footage is from quite a few weeks ago, but at least we saw Kevin come out on top by taking the first vicious swing with his swan's goose neck.

Unfortunately this would be one of Kevin's best moments for the evening, and he didn't even get to see it.

Looks like we're boring Matt.  Maybe he's been on the block so much that he can just relax and nap between live segments.  Maybe things will change soon, Matt.

Tonight there was a whole segment dedicated to Julie asking the house guests questions.  For some reason this seems to enrage the fans, but I like it.  It's nerve-wracking for them to wait to see if Julie will speak to them, and it's fascinating to see who can answer succinctly in a manner that addresses the question and entertains the audience.  As a live feeder, I already know what is happening in the house, but this is footage that is spontaneous and risky.

And as usual, it can be even more interesting to see who Julie DOES NOT talk to.

She started with Christmas tonight, who looked cute and smiley as Julie asked her a question from a fan about how long she thought she might last after being injured.

Christmas:  Well, my big goal was to make Jury.

Julie:  Wow.  Congratulations.

Then Matt got a question, with Raven desperately grabbing his hand the entire time. You know, that action should be at least half-way, particularly on live TV, because she's having to do all of the work here, even leaning over to stretch to make the connection with Matt.

Julie asked Matt why he always wears that revolting orange T-shirt, with real disdain in her voice.  Matt said it's the only sleeveless shirt he brought into the house.  I think he should have said something about how time stops in there, and you don't realize that you've worn the same thing every day, and he'll try to do better.  Or something like that.

But the house guests liked Julie's question, with Josh doing some outright guffawing over on his spot on the couch.

Alex got the next question, about her Camp Counselor punishment.  And she was shockingly clear and concise for someone who often word vomits when speaking, saying she gained some good camping experience and got to feed the Have Nots well for a week.  And Julie rewarded her for that by asking her a follow-up question about her future camping plans.  Alex fielded that one nicely, too, even getting an audience chuckle after her response.

Kevin was next up on Julie's list, and I had a hard time getting a shot of Kevin actually looking at the camera.  When he's nervous, he looks down or to the side, and this occasion certainly qualified.

Julie launched into her question by saying that Kevin didn't win HoH yet.  This was a blow for Kevin, and he mentioned it later, about how Julie called him out in front of the audience for not winning.  When Julie asked Kevin what he'd like in his HoH basket from his family, he said bottled water, and then needed prodding by Julie to mention his family's letter.

Not a good showing for Kevin, but we don't need to tell him that.  Kevin will kick himself for days about this.

Then Julie asked Josh about his love for the Zingbot, kind of a throwaway question to give Josh more camera time.

You might recall that the Zingbot said Josh's emotions fluctuated as much as his weight. Josh later commented that his Zing didn't really make sense, because he has lost quite a bit of weight in the house, and why is that something to make fun of?  We all know Josh is sensitive about his weight, so this really was a low blow by the robot.  What if Josh had gained weight in the house....would the Zingbot have said the same thing?

In any case, Josh did well with his mini-chat with Julie.

Next, Julie turned to Big Mark and asked him about all of the times he fell during the PoV competition.  This gave CBS the opportunity to show footage of the competition, which everyone enjoyed seeing.

Even Raven got a shining moment here, assuming the position with her face down in the layer of Crisco.

Mark was a good sport and admitted that the slip and slide competition wasn't his best moment, and regretted it being his last competition for the season.  Yes, he already admitted defeat before the vote even happened.

Then Julie asked Jason about finding out he was going to be a new daddy, and Jason kind of ran-on in his response, rambling about his thoughts when reading his HoH letter.  But his answer set up the next segment filmed at home with Jason's family.

So let's review....everybody got a live question from Julie EXCEPT Raven and Paul.  And this will be much-discussed in the house for days, maybe weeks.  In fact, just after the HoH competition ended, Paul was in the Money Room with Christmas and Kevin, listening to Raven's shrieks from the kitchen.

Paul, softly: I wonder why Raven didn't get asked a question.

Christmas:  Probably because she wouldn't shut the fuck up and we have a time limit.

Paul:  I knew I wouldn't get a question, because they wanted to feature all of the new people...or maybe they all hate me now...

Christmas: No, that's not it.

Paul:  Listen....Raven's accent just came back.

Christmas:  It always does.

(Of course Paul also says he "threw" this competition too.  He's such a mouthy blowhard.)

This is the Jokers Updates fan poll as of right now, with the trend for the last few weeks over on the right. I'm not sure how reliable this poll is, because the voters are obviously focusing on players who are out of the game.

I'm sure Raven and Paul are privately thinking thoughts like this:

Raven:  It's okay that Julie didn't call on me, because she didn't call on Paul, either.  Maybe we're the most popular so she's giving someone else a chance to shine.

Paul:  Oh shit.  I'm sure the audience hates Raven, so what does that say about me?

When the show returns we travel to Humeston Iowa to meet Jason's family.  Here is Holly with Ole the Bull and Jason's father Judd, I think.

And here is Gatlyn, the adorable cowboy-in-training.

And this is actually one of the photographs that Jason got in his HoH room.  He says that was taken on Gatlyn's first birthday, so it's an older picture.  Everyone loved seeing Gatlyn's chubby cheeks and mini-me outfit.

We saw a scene of Jason's parents' Joyce and Judd watching the latest CBS episode with Holly and Gatlyn.  Jason has been saying that he doubts his parents have even been watching, but Jason is clearly wrong.

Holly said she found out she was pregnant five days after Jason left for the show, so she's waited a long time for him to win HoH so she could tell him the good news.  She also told the audience that they wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible, so they "tried really hard" before he left for California.

Whose wife impressed the former house guests with her beauty?  This one.

But Ole got the last word in this segment.  He's a good-looking bull, and seems happy and healthy too.  In Jason's last HoH letter, I think Holly said that Ole's various girlfriends had nine new calves.

So I guess Ole is having a good summer, too.

Then it was time for Matt and Mark to make their final speeches.  Matt said a bunch of stuff about how he's a confirmed loser and cereal-eater, and then Mark gave a humorous and classy speech that mentioned his mother looking down on him from heaven, and also got in a good joust at Jason that everybody loved.

The only real surprise with the voting was Jason and Alex casting votes for Matt. And this caused all sorts of drama later, of course.

And then Big Mark's face went gray.  I loved Big Mark on the show this summer.  He was fun to look at and was a contradiction in almost every way.

He has said he wants to visit Christmas in Raleigh so he can meet her team and get an idea of how to create an online trainer business.  So if nothing else maybe he'll get a boost from that.

Mark didn't cry onstage though, even when watching his goodbye messages.  They were mostly positive, but I think Paul really miscalculated with his message.  He mentioned Mark turning on him, and then asked Mark to "put in a good word for him with the Jury".

I hope Mark thinks about the arrogance of that statement, and tells the rest of the Jury as soon as he arrives.  Do your shit-talking while the cameras are live, Mark, so we can all enjoy it on next week's live show.

As HoH Christmas wasn't able to compete, but I'm not sure she would have been able to compete in this one, anyway.

The players each stepped on small pegs inside of giant hot dog buns, with a choice of three different pegs to hold on to.  The person who is able to stay inside their hot dog bun the longest will be the new HoH.

This is Everyone's a Weiner.

As the competition begins, the buns are hoisted up in the air and tilt forward, which is what makes this challenge especially difficult.  We hear some classic baseball park organ music, and you will note that the yard is tricked out like a baseball diamond.

Julie says the grounds crew has some watering to do, and we know that the cold water spray is coming next.  And the cold water really cranks off the misery in a big way, which is why they do it first.  The California air is cool at night, and cool air and cold water don't make it easy to hold on tight inside a huge hot dog bun.

And Paul made a BIG SPECTACLE of himself out there, of course.  Just as he did last summer with the sea monster competition.  He was incredibly loud, and insisted on wearing a tutu for maximum attention.  When he sat down to vote in the Diary Room, he also kicked his right leg up so the viewers could see his striped sock.

Less is more, Paul, but you're too arrogant to listen to anyone's advice, of course.

Then it was time for the mustard, and not every wiener got an equal portion.  Raven got just a little, and Kevin got no mustard.  But Alex got PLASTERED with it, with yellow slime covering at least half of her body.

And then the ketchup started....and Kevin got DOUSED with it.  It looked like a damn crime scene as Kevin tried to shake the sauce off of his face, just as the show ended.

The live feeds returned 10 minutes after the live show ended, with everyone still hanging on to their hot dog buns.  People were talking, and having fun.  You can see that when the bun isn't tilted forward, they can stand without holding on.

The problem was their feet, because they started complaining about how much their feet hurt, having to balance them on a tiny little bump on the bun. If Alex complained with her tiny feet, you can imagine how hard it was for the guys with big feet.  Basically any guy but Paul.  Big Mark would not have fared well in this competition.

The buns tilted forward, and we saw Kevin grimace as he grabbed the highest pegs to lean on.  But that ketchup must be slippery, because suddenly Kevin's left hand slipped off the peg, sending him hurling down to the padded mat.

And it looked like a gruesome crime scene down there, with Kevin lying prone for longer than expected.  From time-to-time Christmas spoke, but it was unclear which comments were the hosting comments fed in her ear piece by Production, or her own words.

Christmas:  Kevin couldn't hold on another second.

Josh, happy to not be the first to fall:  Good job Kevin.

Kevin, finally speaking:  Fuck you Josh.

Poor Kevin.  After Julie dissed him by pointing out he hadn't won HoH, this didn't help matters.  I hope he can get the ketchup stains out of his Richie tribute shirt.

Paul mocks Kevin by asking him if he can see the trees over there, because Kevin is always pointing out the trees over the wall. When you're inside your hot dog bun, you can't see anyone else, so Kevin now says that he is covered with more ketchup than anyone else.

When Paul finally saw him he said he looked like a murder victim.  Paul asked if "it was glue" and Kevin said "yes".

(The ketchup is glue?)

Jason sings that his ankles are on fire, but there is humor in his voice.

Alex:  It's a lot colder up here than the last time we did this.

Matt is quiet.  Mr. Personality over there.

The bun suddenly lurches forward, catching Matt by surprise, and he's down, joining Christmas and Kevin on the sidelines.  Kevin handed Matt something, a towel I think, or maybe something to clean his hands off with.

Kevin:  Of course I had to be reminded on live TV that I didn't win HoH.

And now Matt's bun is empty, as if he was never there.  Jason started mouthing off, asking if he was looking at Matt, or just a hologram.

Raven shuffles her feet, trying to get comfortable and Christmas said that she won the bet over Matt.

Raven:  Yeah, I did win that bet.

Jason:  What bet?

Matt:  It's a good one.

But he never said what the bet was, that I could hear.  Alex bitched about how cold it was, and how her feet hurt, so Jason told her she couldn't be a tiger if she kept whining all the time.  Alex found a dead bug stuck to her and got very loud about it.  Kevin made fun of how Paul's tiny feet slid right into the spot that they stand on and Paul objected, saying that his feet are size 10.

Kevin:  Size 10?  Get out of here.

Jason kept leaning over to peek into the other buns, and tried to get both Josh and Paul to do the same, but I don't think they did it.

Josh: If I do that I'll fall off.

Then they got relished, and the sound of the relish hitting them was a wet-sounding thunk.

Jason:  That was bitchin'.

Raven: Green for gasteoparesis!

Chirstmas:  It's like Christmas colors.

I can hear men whispering, but it's not Matt and Kevin, who leave a good distance on the bench between them.

Kevin: I'm going to need more towels over here.

Jason: I'm gonna run out of dry spots over here in a minute.

Alex:  That's what she said.

Kevin, muttering:  I'm fucking mad now.

(About the two hinky votes, that he's sure will be blamed on him.)

Christmas:  Those are some strong weiners up there.  Plump with pressure.

(We need a new comedy writer.  Stat.)

Paul: I remember the last time I was in between two buns.

Jason: Ha.  Tell me about it.

Jason says he tasted the relish and it was salty.  He packed it between his lip and gum like some Ballpark Chew, he says.

The buns tilted, and Josh  fell with a thud, cursing as he hit the mat.  Paul sang the Oompa Loompa song, which really pisses the live feeders off since the feeds usually go down during the singing.  But his shoulder really hurts now, he says.

Josh hugs himself with his filthy towel.

Christmas:  Anybody want hot dogs tonight?

Paul:  What happened over there Josh?

Josh:  "Stop that' won't stop me from coming over there to knock your teeth out tonight.

Josh started to walk towards the hot dogs but stopped to ask if he was allowed to do that.  After a quick feed break we saw Josh with his ass back on the bench, so I guess the answer was NO.

Then the water started spraying them, and they all hunkered down to get through it.

But look what Jason did...he cupped the water spray in both hands and then used it to rinse off the pegs on the left side of his bun.  Smart.  Resourceful.

Christmas made a light comment about finishing up so they could go in and get some weiners, and Raven took this as a cue to make her Big Move.

Raven: C'mon...ya'll know who we want out.

Jason:  Who?

Raven: None of us.  Now c'mon ya'll. I want a letter from my Mama really bad and if I don't get one, I might not hear from her until October.

No one said a damn thing to Raven.  But I wonder, is her mother going to be in surgery on Finale Night and the last week of September?

What a dumbass. Negotiating with three other people still in the game is a big sign of weakness.  Just shut up and fall, loser.

The tension is evident in the "jokes" they tell now.  Paul listed all of the costumes he's had to wear during his last season, and Jason says he had to wear the "Fucktard" suit.

Paul:  You did that on your own, dude.

Jason: I did not.  Matt, help me out here.

Matt: Ha ha.  I did help you out on that one.   (Matt traded the XtremeTard for the PoV.)

Jason:  I'm not gonna lie.  I kinda liked it.  And I get to keep it and take it home.  I'm wearin' it over to your house, pal.

Matt:  Excuse me?

Jason:  What did you do, fart?

Paul:  Who are you talking to?

Jason:  Who are you talking to?


I could see Raven frantically mouthing words, likely communicating with Matt.

Raven: What do ya'll want?

Jason:  SEX!  I wanna WIN!

Raven:  I do too!  Now what do ya'll want?

Jason:  I've got a hunger for the Holly and the Ole pictures.

Raven  I really want a letter guys.


They've been tilted for some time, and joke that the tilting guy went on break. Finally they tilted back upright and Paul warned them that things were about to get real fucked up.

You may not know this, but Paul has played this game before.

As if on command, the gears grind and the buns tilt back down, and Paul fell with a thud.

Paul: I botched that one, guys.

And then Raven fell, saying FUCK and headed quickly to the sidelines to reconvene with Matt.

Then it was down to Jason and Alex, and Alex immediately started making demands on Jason.

Alex: I want safety and a jury vote.

Matt and Raven do some whispering on the sidelines.  Something is bothering him, and I think I know what it is.

Matt:  What is going on right now?

Jason: She's going down, that's what is happening now.

Matt:  What are you doing?  It's down to the two of you.  Now give it up so we can all go inside.

Alex and Jason kept verbally jousting, with Alex saying she's cold, and Jason telling her to just jump off then.

Matt:  Are you guys serious right now?  This is getting shady.

Alex: I want my third HoH!

Jason:  She's trying to backdoor me right now.  Don't act like you don't know about it, Matt!

Matt:  I know I just got two votes against me!

Alex:  It wasn't me.  (YES IT WAS)

Matt:  You're both up there right now, and he's pointing at you.

Jason: I did not point at you Alex.  (HE DIDN'T)

Kevin must be nervous, because on the sidelines Josh tells him that this isn't real, and to stop freaking out.  Jason and Alex keep arguing and bickering about who is going to fall, and Matt was a TOTAL dick on the sidelines, saying that he is confused and he just wants to go inside and eat pizza.  Jason mentioned Alex's parents watching this, and then says he's pretty sure Alex's dad wants to change his last name to Dent now.

Alex says she'll jump if Jason meets her demands, but right then the buns started tilting up at a sharp angle.

Alex:  I want safety this week and a jury vote!

Matt: Why are you even asking that right now?

Alex:  Because I want to be sure.

Matt:  I don't understand what is going on right now.


Alex then starts whining about how she wants to jump, but the buns are too high right now. Christmas says this is the highest they've ever been.

Jason:  Just jump off Alex.

She says she can't see without her glasses, so she can't tell how far the ground is.

Alex: I only have one eye!

(I did not know that...)

Finally the buns tilted down and Alex jumped.  Jason is the new HoH.

Jason:  Why is everything so quiet?

(You may recall that last Saturday, after Jason won the PoV, Paul announced that they would vote him out this week, without having to discuss the matter again.  So I guess they are angry with Jason for not going along with that plan.)


After midnight it was finally time for Jason's HoH room reveal.  Jason stood by the door and waited for everyone to arrive, per the weekly custom.  It was then that I noticed Christmas making a series of passive-aggressive comments about her own HoH reign.  The first comment was Christmas saying that someone (Josh?) had no use for her now that she's not the HoH anymore.  And then she said she won't miss having to come up and down the stairs all week.

Paul: Let's go see Jason's fat wife.

Jason:  Yeah, let's go see my fat wife.

(A long-running joke in the house that Jason has played along with.)

Once the door was unlocked, everyone ran straight for the pictures, of course.  But the first thing Jason noticed was his Mountain Dew.  Later Alex said Jason could drink it, but only on the days when they are not locked inside, and if he "leaves people alone".

Because Jason has A LOT of energy, you know.

Everyone went nuts over Gatlyn's chubby cheeks, and marveled over his growth in just one year, as Jason told them that he was a year older in the pictures riding his stuffed bull.  He's grown a lot since Jason last saw him, and his face has thinned out as he's grown taller.

Kevin: So you're sayin' Holly's not feeding him while you're gone.

Jason:  No, he's just stretching out.

Christmas was heard commenting on how big Jason's HoH basket is in comparison to her's, and then says maybe they gave him such a big one because his last HoH basket was so small.

Everyone was excited to see Ole, too, in a picture next to Jason dressed up as Whistle-Nut.  Jason's clown makeup is different now, he says, with polka dots on one side of his face.

There are pictures everywhere around the room, and it looks like they are some of the same pictures that I used for my house guest intro post for Jason.  Jason did comment that many of the pictures are old now.

The food that Jason got included the Mountain Dew, Coors beer, deviled eggs, shrimp, an old-fashioned glass bottle of whole milk, sardines, Grape Nuts cereal, and thick cut bacon.

Jason:  This is really bitchin'.

The box of CheezIts is something that most people get in their HoH room, but everyone was kind of freaked out that there was some sort of message printed on it about being a rodeo clown.   Jason also noticed a tiger, too, and thought it was a strange coincidence, but Paul says it is probably on the back of every cracker box right now.

Jason's HoH letter was from Frank, who is one of Jason's best friends and goes to rodeos with him. Frank took Ike (Gatlyn) with him to do some chores, and Ike told him how to drive the tractor, and where to put the hay.   Frank also said that Ole ran over to the fence to see them when they arrived, so Ole "got some good scratches".  He said Ole seems to "miss the scene" so he  plans to take him to the next rodeo with him.

I'm sure Jason was relieved knowing that Frank is helping to take care of Jason's business, even if the letter was actually written weeks ago.

Here is Jason with his picture taken on Gatlyn's birthday that was shown on the CBS show.

Jason was surprised to see his dream catcher in his HoH basket.  It has been hanging from his rear view mirror of a truck he bought in 1999, and it is sunbleached with age.  Jason is surprised Holly sent that to him, but thinks it could be good luck.

I'm sure Holly knows that Jason has told us the story of his first tattoo, when he planned to get a dream catcher tat but called it a day after only two feathers had been drawn on his left shoulder blade.

And this shirt is both pink and blue and apparently refers to the new baby's gender, which has not been revealed yet.  Of course Paul reports he has the same shirt too, and says it came from Anthropologie.

Someone:  Why do you have that shirt, Paul?

Alex: Metro.  (ha ha ha)

Paul: Don't ask.

Jason wanted to have a few beers with his friends and gave one to Alex, Kevin, Josh, Paul, and also Christmas, who protested at first.

Christmas: You sure?  I asked them for some beers for my friends in my basket but they didn't give me any.

(It's over, hon. Just let it go.)

It's a screw-top bottle, but Paul insisted on opening his with a bottle opener.

Matt and Raven wasted no time getting out of the HoH room and back into bed, since they are "alone" and all down there now.  The live feed cameras stayed on them just long enough to provide evidence without exasperating the audience.  They don't even seem to kiss, they just get right to it.

Paul admitted that Jason was right about Holly.

Jason:  I told ya, she'as a twenty on a scale of one to ten.

Paul is suddenly VERY interested in Jason's life, and asked a bunch of questions about Ole's halter.  Jason described how he made it and what parts of it were improvised.  Jason is very creative, and has the tools to work with metal and leather, apparently.

(I'll bet he could make a fortune selling handmade belt buckles after this.....)

That is Frank in the picture with Jason in the middle frame.  Jason had to confirm that at least three times in a five minute span.

Kevin:  This Frank, is he a good guy?

Jason;  Yeah.  Frank is a bad ass.

Alex:  Is he the guy who knocked that guy's teeth out in a bar?

Jason confirmed this, saying that Frank wanted to "ride with Jason's crew" so the bar fight provided an introduction of sorts, apparently, and they've been friends ever since.  I guess Jason was somewhat notorious for his bull riding and other rodeo exploits around town.

And about those hinky votes cast by Jason and Alex....I saw some of this action live, but really don't have the patience for the whole thing.  I do not understand why Alex feels the need to blame things on Kevin.  She's such a dingbat and if Kevin gets in trouble for this, I am going to be livid.

Someone on Reddit did the Lord's work and gave us the rundown of all of the action. It's just more needless drama from people who don't know what they hell they are doing.  I like the idea behind the votes in support of Mark, but denying it and also FORGETTING what you've already admitted to is just asinine.