Sunday, July 30, 2017

Please Take a Moment to Note Your Nearest Exit. #BB19

Well let's get to it:  Paul won the PoV.  Yes, Paul.

Not that it matters, anyway, because Jessica is widely-expected to use her Halting Hex on Thursday night, which would mean nobody is going anywhere.  Although.......Paul has been trying to be sure Jessica knows that Cody is the target this week, and if Cody is gone Jessica can have a fresh new start. Again.

HERE'S THE PLAN:  Paul wants to save Jason with the PoV, and talk Jessica into not using the Hex so they can vote out Cody.

Paul won this same PoV competition last year.  Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul Paul.

It sounds like Elena did try to win her way out of the Have Not room, choosing and losing the Have Not Temptation.  Elena will be a Have Not for two weeks.  When will they learn that there are no winning choices for that thing?  Every single person BUT PAUL has lost, but they still keep trying it.  First Jason lost it, then Josh, Mark, and now Elena.

The guys warn Elena about the "three day bump" she has to get through with her first slop experience.

Jason:  And then Day Five......

Elena announced that she hates vegans, because since "they don't eat dairy", they "probably hate puppies and don't bathe".  Paul knew this was going to be a problem with somebody, so he just shook his head and declined to comment.  Jason, whose best friend is an animal, cheered Elena on.  He's a big meat-eater, I guess.

Mark is in his second week as a Have Not, and apparently had some sort of eating disorder today.

Mark:  Tonight is going to be bad for you ladies.  I apologize in advance.

Elena is worried about the Have Not diet being gassy, and everyone tells her to use the medicine in the storage room.

Kevin wanted everyone to see the bruises on Jason's back from Alex punching him.  Jason stood up and showed everyone, but the cameras didn't want us to see it.  But we saw the house guests say "What?"  "Oh my gosh!"  "She hits hard!".

This prompted another round of punching by Alex.  She's punching hard, it seems, as Jason laughs and says "Ow" over and over.  And "Ow" is Alex's last name, of course.  So the shoe fits.

Christmas: If anybody hits my foot, I will rip your head off and shit down your throat.

The severity of that statement wafted through the room until Jason suggested using a Subway bag.  Kevin has heard this story, and urges Jason to tell them all again now.

Kevin:  Elena.  Close your eyes and listen to this.

Alex punched Jason's leg and Jason cries out in pain.  That's pretty flexible for a guy, I think, particularly in blue jeans. This is a gross story, so I apologize in advance.

Jason was out riding on a combine and the wheat was wet. He felt tired, so he laid down under the combine to take a nap. (I guess he was waiting for the wheat to dry?)  While he was asleep, one of his co-workers took Jason's cowboy hat into the field.  He pooped on the ground and put the hat over it.  Jason said the smell ruined the hat so he plotted his revenge.

This is a combine.  Wow.  Jason was 18 at the time this story takes place.

Jason got one of those long plastic Subway bags and pooped in it.  He then tied it to something under the seat of the combine the other guy drove, where it stayed for weeks as they tried to figure out where the smell was coming from.  I guess Jason remembers that guy finally pulling that bag out from under the seat as one of the funniest joke payoffs of his life.

Whatever.  The smelly combine belonged to their employer, who was not happy about the prank at all.

A lot of baby talk between these two.  Well, no one said watching these live feeds would be easy.

Elena and Jessica have been smack-talking Raven, saying they "love Matt", but "can't stand Raven".  Neither of them plan on having any sort of relationship with her after the season is over.  Jessica said that Raven has a different face and personality every 10 minutes, depending on who is in the room.

Jessica:  Raven likes attention.

Then they got the usual munchies close to midnight, and Josh tried to make himself a grilled cheese.  You can see Mark is making some sort of slop-related dish, but the point is that they are trying to move past their problems this week, when Mark almost went ham on Josh in the kitchen.  Josh thinks Mark only apologized to him because Production made him, but is talking to him in group conversations.  In the bedroom earlier, Josh was telling everyone about what Elena missed out on by not choosing him, and it was funny.

Josh found mold on a slice of bread and announced that the plastic wrapper listed an expiration date of July 25th.

Christmas:  Today is the 29th, so....

There was a problem with Josh's sandwich, so Elena scolded him, saying she offered to make him one, and teach him how it's done, but now he's beyond help.

Elena:  It's ruined now.  There's no fixing this.

Alex sipped olive juice from the jar.  The Have Nots will go to a good bit of trouble to find new tastes during their week of torture.

It looks to me as if Josh did not apply the cheese evenly, causing a lopsided cheese situation.  I mean, I wouldn't say it's RUINED, but Elena is trying to boss Josh here.  She decided to help him and encouraged him to watch and learn.

This morning Christmas and Paul were cataloging a long list of Cody's fault, such as selfish, self-important, and immature..  Apparently he was just rather rude to them in the kitchen, or something like that.  I know they are playing a prank on him by somehow mixing up the coffee so that Cody's first pot will be made of decaf.

(An evil, evil prank, if you ask me.)

Paul thinks Cody's attitude will get worse and worse this week.  If Paul uses the PoV to save Jason, no one will be nominated in his place, so it will just be Jessica and Cody on the block for eviction.  If Jessica doesn't use the Hex, everyone will vote out Cody.  If she uses it we'll all just have to see what happens.

Production wanted Christmas to move her microphone.

Raven and Matt were squealing and he ended up pouring ranch dressing in the shower while she was in there.  Production had to tell him to STOP THAT when he went in there with some other food substance, oatmeal maybe.  And when this happened Raven flashed everybody for a second or two.

Paul wanted Kevin to "talk to her about it", and Kevin promised that he would.

 Kevin went outside and enjoyed the sunshine, walking laps in his usual manner.

Cody got in a bike workout, and then got very loud when lifting heavy metal plates.  You know, with the loud grunting and groaning.  Mark was also working out, doing sprints past the camera in the sunshine.

Christmas does Soul Cycle one night a week, and then goes out for wine.  She likes to try all types of exercise but knows weight training is one of her constants in life.  Matt points out that people like he and Christmas actually like exercising, so most classes are designed so that people who don't like it will do it anyway.

That's kind of obnoxious.  People who go to classes often love exercise.

Paul just tried to have a secret meeting with Jason. Paul wants him to "start a fake fight" with Alex.  He further says that Mark and Elena don't know what is planned, but that Jason and Josh have to pretend that they don't know about it.

Jason: I was just outside and Kevin kept trying to talk to me about it, so tell him to shut up.

Mark came in and interrupted them, so they pretended to be discussing whether Jessica would use her power or not.  I guess Mark and Elena will be left out of the loop again, but I'm not sure what all of the details are.

The whole plan is kind of convoluted.  Apparently in exchange for not using her Hex, Jessica has asked Paul for two weeks of safety, and she wants the house to target Alex next week, so Paul told her that he won't tell Jason, Kevin or Alex about that part. But since this is a false promise, I think Jason, Kevin, and Alex are aware of it.  But Mark and Elena don't know about any of it, apparently.  At least they don't now.  So it's complicated, with this one pretending not to know what that one thinks might be happening.  And so on.

Paul discussed The Plan with Jessica, really laying it on thick about how Cody hurts her game, and doesn't care about playing the social game.  And how Jessica's social game was so great after Cody left the first time.

Paul:  Whatever you have with him will still be there after this.  This isn't the Hunger Games.

Jessica got misted, it seems, giggling about this.  She said she had to ask the DR a question before she agreed to this.  (Probably about being able to use the Hex next week.) And Paul celebrated after she left, congratulating himself on his efforts.

Then Mark came in...he and Elena apparently think Alex will be the backdoor target.  Elena will be INCONSOLABLE  if she gets blindsided again, left on the outside with Mark.  AGAIN.


Cameron is a very polite young man on Twitter, quickly gaining over 7,000 followers and answering questions in a humble manner.

What a gorgeous dog.  How could you leave that for the summer, anyway?

Kevin's daughters reached out to Ramses.  And they also announced that everybody could come to Thanksgiving, because it's a party.  I don't think that invitation includes us, by the way.

And Jason's family is meeting others, too, reaching out to Ramses, who is being very mature about his eviction from the game.


I heard Matt tell everyone that "Zankie won best showmance" on Instagram.  People were like, "WHAT" so Matt proudly repeated it.

Not nauseous yet?  Well, I just heard Matt really greasing Paul's skids, saying that if he can pull off this move this week, Paul will "be Number four, at least".  Matt then started talking about Derrick's game in BB16, apparently making the case that Paul's win may rival that.