Thursday, July 20, 2017

These Foolish Delights Will Have Foolish Ends. #BB19

Yesterday the live feeds went down for quite some time, as the house guests took turns visiting the Den of Temptation to learn who America voted for this week.  I'm going to be honest and say I HATE this twist, but probably not for the reasons you expect.  The reason is that I CANT STAND the cheesy presentation on the CBS show.  The voice.....the music....the cluttered room....pretty much the whole charade is just one big Cringe Fest for me.  I can barely watch it, I am so embarrassed by it all.

This third and final Temptation is a Big One:  The winner of the Halting Hex can stop an eviction from happening on any of the next four live shows.  Of course, we certainly expect that the Consequence is that the winner of the Battle Back will return to the game.  The live feeds will actually be down between the airing of the Thursday and Friday night CBS episodes to maintain the surprise.  (If I see spoilers though, I will tweet them if they seem accurate.)

Apparently some of the house guests got all dressed up for the event.  Did Jason win the Halting Hex temptation?  He's getting pretty popular with the fans, and his Whistle-Nut Twitter account has really been pimping out the vote, but there are less than 1,000 followers on that account, so I'm not sure that is enough to make an impact.

He actually doesn't act like he has it, but what the hell do I know.

Raven got all dressed up too, ya'll.  I already told you that Raven reminds me of the saloon girl on Westworld, located right in the middle of the Wild West.  This comparison is especially valid for me as she hovers over Jason, eating a banana.

This is Clementine, the Westworld saloon girl.  I guess we could update Clementine's job description as the saloon's VIP Bottle Girl.

I wanted to make sure you saw the baby blue bows in the back of Raven's hair.  What was the point of Raven leaning over in Jason's face like this?  What would Clementine say at a time like this?

Probably that "it's five dollars an hour, but four if you bathe first".

I'm not clever enough to make that up, by the way.

It doesn't look like Jessica got dressed up, which is ironic because many of the fans think she may have won the Temptation.  I think CBS actually pushed that result, beginning with the big showmance episode she and Cody got the week he was evicted.  They advertised for this Temptation that night, too, as they made Cody and Jessica out to be star-crossed, sweet young lovers.

Watching on the Spy Cam, Alex and Jason noticed how animated and smiley Jessica was down there, leading them to believe that she might have it, although nobody but the winner actually knows what "it" is.  Jason reported that he heard Jessica ask Mark if she could speak to him for a moment.  I watched part of that conversation and Jessica was trying to count the votes for her to stay this week, which is certainly a strong tell that she may have just won the Halting Hex.

HERE'S THE THING:  The house guests usually assign way too much value to the fans' ability to strategically vote for these audience-participation initiatives.  Jessica may think that America voted to give her this because she is on the block and in trouble.   If she believes that, she may use it tonight, which will keep Dominique in the game, as well.

Jessica could be the person voted out tonight, of course, but even though there has been light chatter about that, it doesn't look like that will be the outcome of tonight's vote.  It's an exciting situation, though.

It was Cereal Time in there, and Kevin had a blast reading the back of the Froot Loop box.

Kevin:  We're in the Loopy Lagoon  over here!

I've never even tasted one Froot Loop, ever.  We didn't have sugary cereals in my house growing up, only Grape Nuts and Shredded Wheat.  This is probably why it would never cross my mind to eat cereal in the afternoon.  Or anytime, actually.  I'm more of a salty snack type of person.

In a strange twist, Raven ate a bowl of cereal, while Matt ate something else, making a few obscene sounds as he squirted bright yellow mustard on his plate.

Alex chose the Honey Nut Cheerios.  I've never had those, either, nor the original Cheerios flavor.

On BBAD last night, Jason and Alex discussed the showmances, and agree that neither "Marlena" nor "Maven" will make it on the outside.  Alex doesn't think Elena is Mark's type, because he is so sensitive, and also jealous, based on what he said about his breakup with his last girlfriend.  Jason thinks Mark is a "movie watcher" (?) who wants a more athletic type of girl than Elena.  Alex said Matt talks about being on Bumble a lot, and mentions a comment Matt once made about how the word "dating" rarely applies to people anymore.

Jason:  I think they're all just using it to get by.

Alex:  Only like two BB relationships out of 20 have worked out....I could say something, but I probably shouldn't because I would get in trouble....

(And the BBAD cameras shift, based on that comment.  Or warning.  Or threat, whatever.)

Jason told Alex that he "might have gotten a warning" about the tiny piece of a potato chip that he ate a few days ago.  He says it was a teeny little bit, and I think he spit it back out, but BB apparently warned him, anyway.

Alex also mentioned the cricket that Jason put in his mouth in the backyard.  It sounds like the Have Nots are also not permitted to eat live bugs, and he might have gotten a Talking To about that as well.

I forgot to mention that Paul said BB told them all a day or so ago to stop running around and acting crazy.  I think Paul and Kevin had on the swan pool floaties and were chasing each other around the pool, and Production put a stop to it.  Paul said they've had too many injuries this season, and may end up with nobody left to play the game.  (Pretty sure they would be FRANTIC if Kevin was injured and had to be pulled.)

It would have to be a pretty bad injury, though, based on what has happened to Christmas.   I have lost count of how many times she has left the house for medical treatment, as well as all of the special treatment she has received in there.  They actually gave her a little scooter yesterday, that she can ride around on instead of clanking around in that bulky walker.

The cameras switched back to this scene already in progress, where Elena and Jessica have fully regressed to their filthy speaking ways.

Elena, to Josh:  Have you ever put anything in your butthole?

Big Mark is confused by this question.  I wonder if he's worried about his Nana and PawPaw watching any of this.  I hope they don't get PoP TV in their Buffalo cable TV channel line up, for Mark's sake.

Josh, responding to Elena:  No.  I always use a condom, though.

The camera crew flips right back to the HoH after that, though, where Alex is telling Jason that she thinks he is the only other truly trustworthy person in the house.

Alex:  Kevin is so sketchy...everyone thinks he is the one who cast those votes.

Jason:  Christmas is fucking crazy, and she acts so scared, too.  She came in here as this big powerhouse, but she's so paranoid. I want her out of here.  If I win HoH I'm putting her right up on the block.

Alex:  That's why Cody didn't like her, either.  Cody told her that she had the muscle, but was way too emotional for him to play the game with.

Jason:  She says the stupidest shit, too, like when she kept talking about the movie Secretary.  I tried to change the conversation to help her out, but she just kept going. I swear I got dumber, just listening to that.

You know, I saw that movie years ago, and I watched Christmas talk about it, but based on her description it seemed like a different film.  I also saw Jason try to change the topic, but Christmas bit back at him and kept right on going.   She seemed really, really high in a room full of sober people.

Christmas herself says she used to be addicted to drugs.  I hope someone is keeping tabs on all of this.  BB might not care what happens to Christmas once the season is over, but surely the people in her life care.

By the way, the movie Secretary is a real bore, considered scandalous years ago due to the BDSM content.  It was just super-pretentious pseudo-porn with no nudity, but I'm not into those type of fantasies at all.

Once again, here is Raven in a situation that looks like the damn Bunny Ranch, but less romantic.  Kevin and Raven were discussing how loud certain people in the house are, and Raven admits she is rather noisy.

Kevin's birthday is coming up, and Raven has promised to make him a birthday cake, probably after midnight on Friday (when the Have Nots can eat, maybe?).

Raven:  What kind of cake do you want Kevin?  I can make a chocolate cake, a carrot cake, a strawberry cake, and that cream cheese frosting if you want it.

Kevin:  We can choose?

Raven:  Sure!  I can just go in there and ask them for it.

Kevin said his favorite cake is Angel Food Cake, and he and Raven agree that is what they will go with.

(I LOVE me some Angel Food Cake, but after going vegan it's not a recipe that is easy to replicate.  An Angel Food Cake usually consists of egg whites, sugar, a small amount of flour and vanilla, with no frosting.  It is spongey and delicious, and is often served as the base for Strawberry Shortcake.)

Raven said the cake would cost four dollars, but five if Kevin wanted her to use a clean pan.

(Just kidding.  That is a call back to my Clementine joke earlier in this post.)

Ramses then joined them and recited the names, locations, and significant others of all of Kevin's children.  Kevin was impressed---he didn't know Ramses is so smart.  They all love the camera placed over the round bed and know it is filming them right now.

Kevin:  I know you all saw me fall in that lava pit last night, but the good news is that I won $27!

Kevin decided that's not even enough to buy pizza for all of them, but he might buy a bottle of champagne (sparkling wine, at that price point) for all of them to have a taste.

I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but Kevin frequently mentions his friend Lori McKenna, who is a famous and successful songwriter.  Her son Chris dates one of Kevin's daughters.

Kevin told a story about visiting Lori backstage at one of the awards shows and Carrie Underwood was back there, too, holding her new baby.  He tells a lot of stories about Lori's success, and also "jokes" with Elena about setting her up with one of Lori's other handsome sons.

Christmas addressed her family, saying that she's okay, and the doctors are very happy with her healing process.

You can see the little polls that BBAD holds on certain nights to get viewers involved with the action.

Raven:  We need to do this more.

Kevin:  We're doin' it now, aren't we?

Upstairs in the HoH, Josh sat with Paul, Jason and Alex as they all started to get pumped up for the new HoH competition on Thursday night.  Josh really wants to win, not just for the normal reasons, but to get out of his second week of Have Not life.  I've heard Paul and a few others say they want to throw the competition to Josh in order to see what he will do, but I'll believe that when I see it.

Because there is a great chance that Cody will be competing for HoH, too.  And that will jack everything up quite a few more notches.

Josh put on Alex's HoH robe and put on A SHOW that made me laugh many times.  He was just so unfiltered and energetic about it---it is times like this where you can see Josh becoming a fan favorite.  He already is a fan favorite train wreck, but you know what I mean.  Here are a few of Josh's statements about his potential HoH win:

*  "After I win, I'll say that we usually pick who dropped first as the new Have Nots, but Mark, you can just go back in the Have Not room now."

*   "And Matt, you can join him, you fucking follower."

*  "Two weeks in a row being a Have Not will drive Mark fucking crazy."

*  "As soon as I win, I'll just tell Mark to start packing his fucking bags.  And then I'll follow him around saying, 'are you packed yet?  are you packed yet?'"

Paul was really letting Josh have it, too, and Josh was laughing it up.  Paul asked really sarcastic questions about how Josh performed in previous HoH competitions.  (ie:  Josh took the golden apple the first time, and was the first to fall on The Wall.)

Note that the BBAD fans playing along at home were not buying Josh's act. It was funny, all right, but we all know better than to bet on Big Josh.

Paul also told some great jokes about Josh's HoH letter from his family, saying that the letter will simply say "Grow a pair, pussy."  He also said that Josh will open the envelope, and the letter will state that Josh's family refused to write him a letter.  Josh laughed just as hard as everyone else about all of this.

I also want to point out that the house guests (mainly Christmas and Paul) have been correcting Josh's pronunciation of certain words, like "ask".  Josh has said "ax" ever since he first began speaking, he says, and no one has ever corrected him.  (Can't he sound it out? Didn't he learn with Hooked on Phonics?)  They also told him to stop saying "mines" instead of "mine".

(I think there is an excellent chance we will see Dominique say "EXPECIALLY" during her eviction speech tonight, but no one has DARED to correct Dominique's speech patterns.)

This Baseboard Buddy is a real dream come true for many consumers, who have been searching for a way to keep those dusty baseboards clean.  Something about that angle, though, makes me doubt it is this easy.

Jessica has been joking a lot about Cody coming back in the house.  I think she needs to shut up about that, because some people are re-evaluating who needs to leave tonight.

Maybe Jessica has gotten too comfortable in the house this week.  But speaking of getting too comfortable,  make sure you note how Elena is sitting in the picture below before you move on.

Meanwhile Paul shoved himself right in the middle of the camera shot on the round bed, after he saw that they may be the ones getting all of the live BBAD action tonight.  Josh squeezed in, too.  And Christmas looks SPACED OUT.

Paul and Kevin were ready for story time, and some people grabbed a snack to get ready for it.  They all expect a big day on Thursday (They have NO idea.) so they want to get to bed at a decent hour.

Christmas was in the kitchen trying to find a low-carb snack, and was talking about the pain in her good leg, since she's been jumping on it to get around.

I guess Raven needed to be sure she was the one getting the attention for suffering, though.  She did a lot of complaining last night about her stitch removal appointment getting blown off.  They told her it would happen last night, but it seems like she got stood up by the medic.

Elena got herself a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream.  Kevin's favorite ice cream is plain chocolate chip.


The scary stories were pretty good, all supposedly true stories told by a number of house guests.  Paul told a frightening story about some friends of his that were driving in the desert and saw a car on the side of the road, with two people laying face down next to it.  They debated about getting out to help, and drove by very slowly, trying to decide what to do.  They didn't have cell reception out there, but they finally decided to make note of the GPS location, and then call the police as soon as their phones worked.

As they drove away from the scene, they looked in the rear view mirror and saw those two people both get up off the ground, and a bunch of other people come out of the bushes.  (SO SCARY..)

Josh told a story about some people who were abducting children in New Jersey when he lived there.  A couple tried to get access to Josh's house in order to take his cousin, but his mother refused to let them in the house.  Then they saw on the news that the child abductors were captured later that night, and when the kids saw their pictures, they knew it was the same people who tried to abduct Josh's cousin.  Josh had trouble sleeping for years after that.

Kevin told a story about his daughter getting in a bad car accident, and Elena had a similar story about a car slamming into her and having to get cut out of the car by firemen.  Her dog was in the car with her so she couldn't ride in the ambulance.  Her mom came to get them and drove Elena to the hospital herself.  (The dog Lilly was fine.)

You can see Dominique over on the far right wearing a red beanie, covered up and ignoring everyone during story time.

And you can get an idea of some of the sassy tweets that scroll across the screen during the Orwell Games on BBAD.  (Last year the tweets were BRUTAL about Nicole and Corey.)

Someone asked Paul to tell a story about using a Ouija Board, but neither Alex nor Paul wanted to cover that topic.  I think that is what made Dominique get up and leave the room to wash her face.

And the Orwell Games' polls are kind of sassy, too.

Elena volunteered to make grilled cheese sandwiches for anybody who wanted one.

Raven delivered the first one to Kevin, who let Paul take the first bite like a food taster for the King.  It was good, but I don't think Kevin wanted one with so much butter and stuff on it.

Ramses is a Have Not, but he picked up half of a grilled cheese and took a nice long sniff.

The Have Nots (except Josh) have about 24 hours left to go....

The title of this post is derived from a famous Westworld quote, of course, courtesy of the lovely Delores.   Season Two starts soon, you know, exclusively on HBO.