Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Who's Gonna Nuke Me, Boo? #BB19

When the backyard is open for business, Kevin and Jason are usually the first ones up and about, enjoying the sunshine and keeping up a constant conversation filled with newsy facts, opinions, and constant profanity.  As they walked and talked on Tuesday morning, I could often tell when someone else was in the backyard because I heard them laughing as they caught bits and pieces of the conversation.

They discussed dating apps for awhile, with Jason doing his best to describe them, despite frequently having to point out that he's been married for 11 years.  (Or perhaps 13 years....and they didn't have children for 11 years.)  Jason was trying to describe Tinder and Kevin just couldn't believe it.  He wondered if he should sign up for it, just so he could see if his kids were on there, too.

Jason:  We really should ask Alex about it, because she does all that stuff.

Kevin:  Alex?  Alex uses the dating apps?  WHY?  She's a cute little girl!  She can put on a dress, some lipstick, high heels...and then go out somewhere and meet somebody!

Jason was explaining Craigslist, I think, (or maybe Grindr) and how people just post that they want to hook up, and within minutes you can find someone to have sex with.  Kevin acted like this was the craziest information ever.

Kevin:  Jessica says that it's so hard to date out here in Los Angeles, because all of the girls are so pretty.  What is she talking about?  That makes it real easy for ME.


Kevin:  Jessica says that all of these attractive kids move out here and stay.  That's not what I thought.  I thought that people come out here and then realize they aren't actors and then go home!

Kevin was really on a roll, pointing out that in the first days of the game, some people came across with a very different image than they have now.

Kevin:  Like Dominique...remember she was so sophisticated and elegant?  That's not  who she is.  And Cody thought he was tough shit around here, and he was the first guy out!

They also discussed the "pickle juice fiasco" from the day before.

Kevin:  Other than maybe Paul, I don't think any of these kids have ever thrown  a punch before.

Jason agrees that they don't know anything about throwing a punch, or taking one.

Jason:  They don't understand the ramifications of hitting someone.

Kevin:  Yeah, and once they do get punched, they call the fucking police.

(This is actually a HUGE difference between the generations.  We NEVER even thought to tell our parents about getting bullied, or slapped around, much less a teacher at school or the police.  It was part of growing up, and building character, to learn to deal with things on your own.  I could write a damn BOOK about all of the things my parents never knew about my life.)

(Oh my god, I had a friend in high school named Mary Beth _____, who had the kind of looks that would get her hand-picked from the audience at concerts, and invited to go backstage.  There was a group of four of us, so the rest of us would get to go backstage, too, where we were offered drugs, booze, and plenty of access to sweaty old men.  My parents would have DIED if they knew what was going on.)

I forgot to tell you that I heard Kevin say that if the pickle juice incident had happened with any of other guys except Josh, a fight would have broken out  (except Ramses, of course.)

Kevin can't believe that they've been out here walking around for so long, and everyone else is still in bed.  They're missing everything, he says.  I also heard Kevin tell Jason one evening that no one, not one house guest, had come outside all day, even though they only have access to the backyard for a few days each week.  They finally agreed that Matt did walk out and jump in the pool before going back inside, but that was it.

(Was that Matt's bath for the day?  Ewwwwww.)

Kevin:  And we're out here enjoying ourselves and having fun talking.  But if the kids saw us, they'd be saying, what are they talking about out there.....what's going on?

Jason:  I can assure you Kevin, that we are officially talking about nothing.

Kevin:  NOTHING.  Absolutely nothing.

Jason took a break to check in on "the Tiger", which is his nickname for Alex.  Alex continues to trash talk Kevin, and Jason sort of agrees with her, but I think he is so fond of Kevin that he's not too worried about it.  It's not like Kevin is going to target him first, anyway.

Who would he spend time with if Kevin is gone?  And what would we have to look forward to, if Kevin ends up leaving before jury?  I think a key point here is that Kevin is aware of how Alex feels....he caught a bad vibe from her after the PoV ceremony, and tried to talk to Paul about it, but Paul told him not to worry.

Kevin:  I didn't go up there for all the meetings this week....I slept in, but maybe I should've gone up there more.

The truth is, nobody really went up to the HoH very much this week.  Alex did not get much respect, it seems.  Or perhaps Paul functioned as the HoH Liason this week.  Because when he saw Jason go up to the HoH, Paul scurried right up there to stay on top of the conversation.

Meanwhile Jessica has settled into a comfortable spot with her friends Mark and Elena, slipping right back into the filthy banter they enjoyed way back when, two weeks ago.  She has also developed a friendship with Jason, and is big buddies now with Kevin, her Boston homie.

How will this be impacted by Cody coming back into the game?  That is, IF Cody comes back into the game.  I wonder what odds Kevin would give that possibility?


TMZ is really trying to make a meal out of Paul's "blackface" comment.  I've already showed you that Paul DID NOT wear blackface to the PoV ceremony, but now Paul's mother is involved.  Note to future house guests:  tell your families to just stay out of it.

For the record, I do not think Paul is racist, but he did use the "blackface" term in gest, surely not knowing that everyone would freak out over it..  But I don't think he is a racist because I've now spent two summers listening to Paul talk.  And talk....and talk....and talk and talk.

You can read the entire article here.  Paul is right on track to be widely-despised when he leaves the house, just like many other two-time BB contestants.  If a blow-up pool toy suddenly appears as part of a required costume for Paul, then we'll know that CBS is worried about it.  But until then, I'm guessing that any publicity is good publicity for the network.


On Monday night's BBAD show, they kept busy by communing with nature, an activity that has consumed many season's worth of bored house guests.  Usually they focus on a spider, or sometimes a bird or two.  But this time it was a cricket.

Kevin saw it first, and kept flagging down house guests walking by, asking them if they "have a keen eye".

Paul:  What?  Do I have a what?

Then it was Jessica's turn.  She didn't know if she had a "keen eye', because she didn't understand that term.  Kevin had to explain it, repeat it, and finally point out the exact location of the cricket he saw in the fake grass.

Apparently these kids don't have a keen eye.  And I want to point out that Christmas went to the doctor on Wednesday and got a new cast, which is dark gray or black.  This was her last evening in the old cast, which was also the new cast as of last Friday.

But then Whistle-Nut walked by and when Kevin asked him to look at the little square table to see if he saw anything unusual, Jason immediately spotted it.

Jason:  It's a cricket.

Then Jason immediately went over and picked it up, while everyone (including Kevin) was skeeving about it, saying "ewwww" and "get it away from me".

(Jason has had to "pull a calf" out of her mother's body during childbirth (or calf birth), so I doubt he cares much about touching a damn cricket.)

Everybody's reaction gave Jason permission to act out in the following manner:  He put the cricket in his mouth, and then spit it right back out.

I do not know what happened to the cricket, probably because the camera crew didn't want to see it, either.

Instead we saw Raven and Ramses commit a prank on Paul's bed, using a roll of Saran Wrap to wrap up the bed real tight.

I don't really understand the point of that.....would that have any impact on laying on the bed?  Would it matter at all?  I'm no prankster, but shouldn't they have put something UNDER the Saran, something that would be a big nuisance?

I don't think Alex understood it all, either.

And then they pulled the covers up, giggling the whole time about how clever they are.

But they're not that clever, because this isn't Paul's bed.  That is Jessica's bed.

I mean, DUH.  I told you all that she moved into Ramses' bed after he moved to the Have Not room.

I told you that Kevin and Jessica were becoming big Boston Buddies in there.  Well, I know Kevin is very smart, so I hope he realizes the stuff he is saying will be watched and commented on, constantly.  Kevin told Jessica that he goes to the "Blue Diner" every night at around 1:00 am to "pick up envelopes".   Jessica said her dad used to go there, too, and this grabbed Kevin's attention.  (Maybe Jessica's dad had to deliver some envelopes, too?  Or pick up some....)

Kevin said he visits the diner with his kids, too, but they wait in the car "to stay out of trouble" and Kevin gets hotdogs, burgers, and frappes to go for all of them. The owner always asks about Kevin's kids.  The diner is located right across the street from one of the big clubs.  Kevin wants Jessica to go out and party, then text him around 1:30 AM to meet her at the diner.  Kevin will show up and buy her a burger and a frappe.

Most of the time, we see Jessica wearing ratty looking sweatpants or pajamas, which seems very real to me.  She would wear that at home, probably just a few blocks away from where she is now.  But she also seems to have a lot of new cute outfits to wear that we haven't seen yet.

Sometimes the girls in the BB house share clothes, but I haven't noticed that yet this season.  I've seen Elena wear Mark's sweatshirt, but that's about it.  Each girl has her own style, it seems.  Maybe they don't want to share.

Mark walks through the dining area quietly without speaking, headed to the restroom area.  The cameras give us a quick look at the memory wall, focusing in even closer to the pictures of Josh and Mark, who had their big blow out earlier in the day.

Then the cameras show us Josh, who was sitting right there, apparently, as Mark walked by.

Josh is someone I don't even know at all.  I've only really seen his negative personality traits, and view him as sort of a helpless baby who might have benefitted from growing up in a generation where he can't run to his Mami every other minute.

Josh says his sister is a model, and sometimes I can see that in Josh, too.  When he keeps his mouth shut and glares like this, I can see him having a look.  And being tall, I'll bet if he lost at least 50 pounds he could do runway modeling.  Keeping his mouth shut is a key part of that, though, otherwise the illusion is ruined.

On Wednesday night's BBAD, Alex went out to the backyard to do some stretching, but since she didn't extend any invitations to come upstairs and hang out, no one did.  She went up to her HoH room and did a clay face mask, and also a pore strip on her nose.  Jason and Josh came up there to chat, but none of the girls.

Alex really blew it this week.  I don't think she used her HoH to build any new connections or allies.  She could have made a bond with Jessica, who really needed a friend earlier this week, but that window of opportunity has closed now.  She has good game instincts and observations, but does not appear to want to use her social game unless it meets her everyday sensibilities.

Jessica has been telling stories here and there about various celebrities she knows or has run into in LA.  Sometimes the cameras let us hear a little, and sometimes not.  Last night they were talking about the Patriots, and she was shocked that Kevin has never attended a Patriots home game.  Then Jessica said she's been to an NFL game in Seattle, too, because she dated one of the players in the game that night.

Jason:  Which team?

Jessica:  I can't give that information.

Yesterday she was telling one of the girls about Drew Barrymore coming in late to a yoga class, and setting up her mat right behind Jessica.  Jessica wanted to turn around but tried to resist the urge, since most people who live in LA just ignore the celebrities in order to be polite, or to act cool.

Jessica:  She was not good...she kept falling out of poses and was cursing.  It was great.

Is it strange that no one seems to sit on the couches out there?  I heard Elena say that the cushions would be comfortable if she didn't feel like she was slipping every time she sat on them.  Is that the problem?

The couch is the smoking section, of course, and we don't have any smokers this year.

But wouldn't Christmas want to sit on the couch and prop her cast up on something?   You can see her new black cast in the picture below.

It's so bad, but it's fascinating, right?  She looks like one of the saloon girls in Westworld, but at the end of her shift, when it's time to be transported back to headquarters to be hosed down and refurbished for the following day.

In the storage room, Elena had a fast, intense conversation with Paul.  I don't remember what they were talking about, but it strikes me that Elena is set up pretty well in this game, and probably even better if Mark is evicted soon.  She has friends in all areas of the house, and even though she came in second on The Wall competition, I haven't heard anyone mention her as a threat.

Elena is sitting pretty right now, I think.

Note the bandage on Raven's toe in the picture below.  She is getting crapped on all over the internet right now about limping in an inconsistent fashion.  You know, like limping on certain occasions, and walking just fine in others.  Also limping occasionally on THE WRONG FOOT.

I realize I have been posting a lot of negativity about Raven, but if she does something that I consider positive, I will post that, too.  And I'm not the only one, of course.  Raven's family and friends shouldn't even be reading this.  If you are, log off and try to keep busy with other things until this whole nightmare is over for you.  That probably goes for Matt's friends, too, if they still identify themselves as such.

I will say that it does seem like Matt really likes Raven, at least many aspects of her.  The bad news for Matt is that even if he wins Big Brother, these type of pictures will be out there for a very long time, and women he meets will see them when they google his name.

So, these potential dates will see that horrid tattoo, the orange blouse, and Raven.  But not necessarily in that order.

Elena has been trying to follow a healthy eating plan, and also is trying to get a little exercise here and there. Christmas is overseeing all of this, and did not grant permission for Elena to eat dessert until she heard a complete recitation of what Elena ate all day.  It was a boring list of foods that I can barely remember, but Christmas did give approval for 1/4 cup of dessert.

Ice cream maybe?  The BBAD cameras didn't show me that, so I don't know.  But I can say that Elena has no business wearing a body suit like this as a shirt.  It looks like she found it in the discount bin at Frederick's of Hollywood.

Later I heard Elena say that she "can't stand" any of the people she used to work with, and has no interest in seeing them again, with the exception of three presumably-lucky people who were not named.

A little something for you Boob People.

And one for all you Whistle-Nut fans.  Jason said that his buddy handles all of his social media accounts, so he doesn't have to learn how to use them.

In the early weeks of the game, Jason seemed like a sad loner, sticking out like a sore thumb.  Then he got stuck in the Have Not room in that V-Toad suit, spending time with the house pariahs at that time (Cody & Jessica).  But now Jason seems to have a friendly relationship with just about everybody.  Hanging out with Kevin probably helped him, because everybody thinks Kevin is hilarious and fun.

These are the JokersUpdates house guest rankings, as of today.  This poll has been a Big Brother institution for years, and you can vote daily here.  And you can also view the trajectory of the votes for each house guest.  For example, Jason has been ranked #2 for two days now. gradually rising over the last week, but Raven has been in the bottom spot for four days now, plummeting from the middle of the pack.

But Kevin?  He's been in the #1 spot all season.

Christmas trained Paul for a bit, giving him tips on his form as she coached him.   A few times, she had him shift his position, and slow down, and Paul immediately felt the impact.  Paul was doing this move, and Christmas told him to scooch down so that his rear end was hanging off the edge of the lounge chair.  That way, he got a core and lower body work out while he lifted the weight over his head.

Christmas:  That will really light up your ass, huh?  Are you feeling it?

Paul was feeling it so much he was unable to respond.  Christmas said she was so happy to be training someone again.  I was glad, too, because last night Christmas kept saying stuff like "only an hour  until I get to take my pill and then I can go to bed".  That's understandable for someone with her injury, but perhaps someone with her injury recovering FROM HOME, not the BB house.

Mark was commenting on Elena's makeup, saying that her cheeks look more natural.  It still doesn't look natural to me, but it's a step in the right direction.

Mark:  What do you mean, you "do" your eyebrows?

Elena: I draw them on my face.  Every day.

Ramses was experimenting with different slop recipes and kept burning them, filling the house with smoke.  (That's probably how Bobby Flay started, too.) The house guests left the sliding door open so everything can air out.

Paul did some jogging across the yard, stopping inside the house by the dining table before turning to run back across the fake grass.  I'm sure Paul was happy to have the ability to monitor more house guest activity that way, both inside and outside the house.

And here is Matt, playing pool with Mark,  I told you that Matt has a tendency to compulsively fiddle with the straps on his orange blouse.  Here he is doing it, as if he's trying to make sure his bra strap is covered.  Even the girls in the house don't do that, because that would require wearing a bra.

And here is a Dominique update for you.  She has been laying low, reading her Bible either in the Lounge or in her bed.  Everyone says it seems like she just gave up and doesn't want to be there anymore.

Here's something to look out for:  Every time a house guests seems to memorize a speech, they mess it up when reciting it live.  Will Dominique do that?  She's more articulate than most, but so is Alex Willet (if you don't consider the actual sound of her voice).  Because Dominique has been practicing what she's going to say on Thursday night for a few days now.

She told Josh that she is a nuclear engineer for the government, in Washington DC and Josh was shocked.  She said she can't discuss what she does, but she works for "Big Government".  Josh whispered a question about money----is Dominique rich in real life?

Dominique: my father is...Jesus is very wealthy.


Dominique:  So, you see that they messed with the WRONG ONE.

(Did they?  Is Dominique going to nuke their hometowns now?  Is Jesus going to tell her to nuke someone else?  Knowing what we all know now, I'm not sure I'm comforted to know that Dominique might have her finger on The Button, or even if she knows someone that does.  Just sayin'.)

The title of this post is a last minute creation inspired by the great Sheree Whitfield, from the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

It's famous.  See?