Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Wil Heuser Presents: The Saga Episode 1 #BB19

I am pleased to report that Wil is back this season with a new Saga series, and delivers quite a few laugh-out-loud moments in his first episode.

A few highlights:

*  Christmas has quite a long resume of achievements.
*  Jessica does not.
*  Jesus is speechless.
*  Julie can't find Cody.
*  Raven showcases her dancing skills.
*  Whistle-Nut scares me.

Bonus:  Another catchy tune.


Two Wrongs Can Make a Right. #BB19

So much has happened in the BB house in the past few days....I'm still trying to catch up but that might be impossible while there are this many people in the house.  And this much drama.

Jessica and Cody are calm now, clearly poised to make a run now as Team Villain.  That's not their official name, however, but it does describe the direction they are headed in.  Here they both enjoyed some popcorn while they watched the Spy Screen live feeds.

 House guests...they're just like us.

Cody has been living on slop for days now.  He announced he was doing it for altruistic purposes, for solidarity with the Have Nots since he had to choose them this week.  But I've also heard that he is trying to condition himself to eating only slop, to prepare for what he surely knows is coming.

Jessica asked him if he's enjoying the taste of the popcorn after so much slop.  I think Cody just grunted and shoved down another handful.  I'll take that as a Yes.

Before the Christmas Injury Incident, Jillian seemed happy to make new friends, because clearly she needs them.  She and Raven were make-up buddies, and from the picture below, you can definitely see the change in Jillian's look.  She looks colorful, alive, maybe just happy to have someone new to talk to today.

Raven:  You don't know how to contour?  Well stick with me, I'll teach you.

Matt and Raven are literally like an old married couple, after only being in that house together for less than two weeks.  I heard Raven say that she is usually attracted to men who are 15 years older than herself, and then kind of apologizing to her mother about it.

I'm sure her Mom is just fine with Matt, who only has a 10 year difference.  Just a guess.

Jillian is so happy here, having a buddy to primp with.  I'm really not sure who is going to stay in the game this week---Jillian or Christmas, but if it is Jillian, she will likely take another seat on the block next week.  And maybe the next week.

I wondered how the Gen Pop of BB fans is taking to this whole Showmance Slashtag initiative, so I did look up #Maven.  (I kind of like #Ratt, but I don't want to go 'Round and 'Round about that.  If you get that pun, then you get it.  But if you don't, you don't.)

Some of the fans are following the CBS narrative, and tweeting about it.

And others are not so complimentary, but what comes around goes around.  (Now that damn song and the splashy MTV video are stuck in my head, so the joke's on me.)

I didn't know having a beard like Matt's required this level of effort.  I think he should just shave it off, but Matt's certainly not asking me for advice right now.  And even if he was, I'd have at least seven or eight other, more important nuggets of advice for him.

But I've only heard one person (so far) talk about putting Matt on the block.  And it was KEVIN.  But we'll get to that later, at some point.

Your Boy Paul is playing WAY too hard now. He got all jazzed up after he was blindsided during the PoV ceremony and is now on a frantic mission to pull a team together to Save Christmas and Screw Cody.

And Jason certainly seems to be on board with Paul and his plans.  But is he really?  Now THAT is the question.  Jason was actually one of the two who voted Christmas out on the first night.  And I've seen him pledge his vote to Cody this week---they seem to have a connection of some sort,  but I can't speculate on what the glue might be.

Watching how Jason navigates this vote, and the aftermath will be very telling about his capabilities this summer.

Raven will be voting with Paul, though, to Save Christmas, along with Matt.  Cody and Jessica have now begun to badmouth Matt and what they see are his wishy-washy choices.  Badmouthing Raven can't be far behind.  Last night Cody mocked Matt, imitating what he might say in his speech when he is sitting on the block for eviction.  Then Cody and Jessica snickered about it.

Cody:  I don't think Matt has even watched this show....maybe just season 16.

And of course Raven just loves Paul to death, ya'll.

Mark and Elena have had a rough go of it in the last few days.  When the PoV ceremony first shook the house, Matt was very vocal about sticking with Cody to play out this week.  But Elena is a Friend of Christmas, so she wanted to keep her around this week.

And that has thrown a wrench into their plans of love, it seems.  This issue is a test of their bond.  Of course I'm ready to vomit, typing that.  But Elena needs to realize that she has hit the Showmance Jackpot with Big Mark, who patiently listens and tries to be supportive and respectful towards her at all times.

Plus, Mark has a big dick.  We can't just ignore that important factor.  And Elena can't ignore it, either, because don't forget, Elena likes to TALK FILTHY.

Half the cast came in the storage room during their long, boring semi-argument over who did what, who said what, and who is going to do what with their votes to evict this week. At one point Matt came in with his smooth social skills and tried to bring them together.

And over to his side of the vote, too.

Jason and Alex both want to give Christmas the boot this week.  And I think this is the direction that Jason will go in....he's suddenly very sketched out by Paul and his actions.  Alex isn't buying Paul's act, either, saying that now he's trying to be the leader and boss them all the time.

At this time Christmas was still at the hospital, status unknown, so it was hard for anybody to even predict if they'd have a live vote or eviction this week, anyway.

(And many of them feel Megan leaving the game is the reason why they din't have a live show last Thursday, too.)

But much of the backyard Christmas Chatter focused on how Jason went right back to bed after he alerted the DR to Christmas's need for immediate medical attention.

Let's face it....the control room was already well-aware of the scene in the backyard, but we can't be sure what Production actually said to Jason in the DR about it.  He says they told him to stay inside, but if that is the case, why did Production ask Cody and Matt to go out there to help carry her in?

Raven:  It doesn't sit right with me...I don't like how Jason just went back to bed after what he did to Christmas.  I don't like it.

(I later heard Christmas say that Cody didn't say one kind word to her during his Christmas Rescue Mission.  She said as he was leaving her in the DR, he leaned over and whispered to her that "her bone was sticking out of  her foot".  That Cody is one cold MF'er.)

Dominique didn't like it, either.  But she just takes it all in, gathering information from all corners of the house.  There are a few who definitely see what she is doing (Alex, Paul, Kevin, Jason) but I think it will be awhile until Dominique is fully on the radar.  And even then, it might be too late.

She has confessed that she is actually an engineer, though.  I think she told Paul first, but let's face it, if that is the case it won't stay quiet very long.

If you just look at pictures of Elena, it does look like she is on some heavy downers, because she is not naturally very smiley.  And the corners of her mouth turn down, so that makes her look mopey, too.  I'm not saying that Elena doesn't mope around, but it is usually easy to perk her up a little.

But being negative is part of her schtick.

Mark has been patient with all of that, of course.  Mark has robotic qualities like Cody does, except his mannerisms are generally supportive, sensitive gestures.  You know, like a big teddy bear.

CBS kind of screwed them over with their showmance slashtag, because #Marlena is actually a real person or thing, apparently.  But when I dug around to find what the fans are saying, the news was bad.

Because it would seem that #Marlena broke up last night.  But some of these Tweeters might need some sleep and maybe some hot coffee.

What he is referring to is when Christmas made Mark cry---obviously she was "mothering" him and he said he hadn't opened up like this in eight years. (His mom died when he was 17.)  But after seeing Mark and Christmas have a tender moment across the backyard, self-centered Elena took offense, of course, and stormed off, thinking only of herself.

But I wouldn't throw away your #Marlena T-shirts yet, kids.  And don't believe everything you hear from the BB Tweeters.  But this Tweet is true.  I saw it on BBAD last night.  And BBAD don't lie.

This cat lady loves #Marlena, but not the #Marlena we know.

Cody has been eating the slop.  This looks like a prison meal.

But let's talk about that countertop.....did all of that damage happen since they've been in there?  Or is that just a sticky mess that needs to be scrubbed down?  Either way, it's not good on camera.

We haven't heard about ants yet, and there were no ants at all during BBOTT.  I wonder what happened----is it possible that Production never thought to obtain the services of an exterminator over all of these years?  And they finally called Orkin after BB18 ended?

This little scene happened yesterday or maybe even the evening before.  The #Marlena fans may want to remember the good times with these pictures, if the break up actually sticks (for a few days).

Elena is such a little dynamo.  A real firecracker.

She actually looks like she is about to have the bed spins, and might need a vomit bag.  (Bed spins are surely one of the WORST feelings one can ever have.)

And let's contrast that scene with this one.  Jessica has really used Cody's exile from the house to strengthen her bond with him.  She has been his only supporter since the PoV Ceremony fiasco, and she knows it.

I'm sure Jessica also knows that Cody will always be a bigger target than she is, but if they are on the block together and Cody wins the PoV, she might have to start spreading the love around a little.

The HoH Suite really does look like a hotel suite in Vegas.

And the #Jody slashtag is also an issue, because #Jody is apparently something real, too.  I had to dig deep to find some fans of #Jody, but in the end I came up empty.  Oh, I found #Jody tweets, but not any #Jody fans.

This first one is the most positive one I could find.

I just realized we haven't checked in on Kevin for awhile, so here he is talking to Alex last night.  Kevin has some tooth pain, but the DR told him he'd have to wait until Wednesday to get someone to look at it, due to the holiday.  They gave him some topical stuff to apply to his gums, but Kevin scoffed at that and says he hasn't used it.

Oh, and according to this conversation, he's going to turn on Paul this week, casting his vote to evict Christmas.  He is miffed that Paul was apparently part of an 8-person alliance that didn't include him.

Kevin:  What, they can't have nine in there?

Note that this is EXACTLY what happened to Paulie Califiore last year----he found out after the fact that he had not been included in a group of eight.

Kevin also told Alex that she was the first person he could recall who actually cared enough about him to ask him how he is, not just speaking to him "because he is there".

So, Your Boy Paul might be the one getting blindsided on Thursday night, if the people he thinks he can trust actually vote against him.  This morning (Tuesday) I saw Jillian approach Cody in the kitchen and told him that as long as Jessica is with them, she has the votes to stay.

Jillian:  I have the votes....like, solid.

They agreed that she would act sad, like she's going home, and have everyone else keep quiet about it, too.  So....this vote is going to be interesting.  But Thursday is at least three weeks away, in BB time.  (And as I type this, Josh is talking to us in the Lounge, saying that he is voting for Christmas to stay, not Jillian, so Jillian might want to check her math on those votes.)

Let's end this post on a more positive note.  This is the cheeseburger that the house guests served Christmas after she came back in the house late yesterday.

Did they call Postmates for that?  Uber Eats?  It sure looks like an $13.00 cheeseburger to me.