Thursday, June 22, 2017

Meet Dominique Cooper - She'd Like to Have a Couple Thousand Words With You. #BB19

Now it's time for Jeff to meet Dominique Cooper, who is 30 and tells Big Jeff that she grew up in Alabama, but she lives in Washington DC now and is a nuclear engineer.  But Dominique is kind of wordy, so she actually says "the Washington DC metro area".  She's very precise and professional, but also very smiley.

Jeff:  Wow.  That was a mouthful!  But you're a nuclear engineer, so it was easy for you.

Dominique, laughing:  It was a breeze!

OK.  Jeff is already confused, but things are about to get worse.

Jeff:  So, a nuclear engineer.  That's a nice title, but what does that job entail?

Dominique: graduation I entered the New Power industry, but that was a lot of criticality safety calculations, so I went back to school to get my Masters Degree in systems and electrical engineering, and now I work for the government in program management.

Jeff:  Wow.  Your vocabulary is off da charts!

Dominque: HA HA HA.  Well thank you!  I receive that!

Jeff basically apologizes for being a slow dumbass and Dominique laughs it up again.

Jeff:  So, are you a fan of da show?

Dominique:  Yes!  It's addictive!  (sighing)

(Translation:  I've been in sequester with nothing to do but watch some damn DVDs of Big Brother.)

There is kind of a weird moment where Jeff told her not to tell him that, but to tell us, the viewers.  So she turned to us and repeated the statement.

Dominique:  And I'm going to be bringing more addiction for you!  Ha ha ha ha!  My nickname is The Dominator!

Jeff is clearly delighted by this, because now he doesn't have to go through the torture of prying hashtag ideas out of Dominique at the end of the interview.

Jeff:  Well, now we know your hashtag!  The Dominator!

Dominique:  YAASSS!

Jeff wonders if she has a strategy, since she's going into the house, "as a fan".

Dominique, taking a deep breath:  Yes!  I'm going to be me!  Because I'm #TheDominator but I'm going to dominate people over time.  I'm going to be real subtle, and I'm definitely going to exercise my social game going in there.  I'm gonna get to know them, because people love to talk about themselves, right?  So I'm gonna let them talk about themselves a lot, and then acquire information about them so I can use it when I need to use it.

(That last part is not unlike Derrick's plan in BB16, but he actually was very subtle about it.  Not sure Dominique can pull the subtle part off, though...)

Now it's time for Jeff to ask if she has any downfalls in her game.

Dominique:  Oh yes!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  I have to be honest!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.  I'm gonna be honest about it...I'm a human!  It's probably that I wear my emotions on my face.

Jeff:  So, you're very expressive!

Dominique:  Like, WHAT!  You'll know exactly what I'm thinking from the look on my face.  So I've gotta work on that!  I'm working on that.

Jeff wonders if she'll be more of a physical, or a mental player, or maybe a social threat.

Dominique: Um...I'm really good at all of that, but it's probably going to be a combination.  Mentally...I like to challenge myself mentally, so I'm excited about that part.  And physically...did you see these muscles....WHAT?

Jeff:  I know you're in great shape...just pointing out the obvious here.

(I wish we could watch Dominique's facial expressions right now, while we show her Jeff's famous "Technotronics" spelling failure.)

Jeff asked what she will miss most from home, and Dominique absolutely gushes that she LOVES this question.  So IMMEDIATELY my bullshit detector goes into overdrive and I'm all ears.

Dominique:  I am going to miss my phone!  I do EVERYTHING on my phone!  I read, I write, I create content for my YouTube channel, my social media accounts, Facebook, I share with the people that I love, I cell phone is MY LIFE.

OK Dominique.  Well, I LOVE that Big Jeff didn't ask you about your damn YouTube channel.  But now I know why you are here, and how you got involved.  In the old days of Big Brother, you had to move to LA in an attempt to pimp yourself out, but now anybody with a cell phone is trying to grab some coin off YouTube views.

(Ironically, if Jeff and Jordan had started a YouTube Channel right after BB13, when he and Jordan were the topic of the day, they probably would have made MILLIONS.  I know they have "Jeff and Jordan TV" now, but I think they really missed out on some big opportunities. I wonder if that is what Jeff is thinking about now, as Dominique babbles on and on about her damn phone.)

(I just saw there is a "Caleb and Ashley TV" channel too.  Yeah, good luck with that,.)

Jeff:  Do you have any hidden talents that we should know about?

And Dominique does.  Of course.

Dominique:  I'm actually a really good singer, but it only sounds good in the shower.  And I'm a spoken word artist, but again, it's kind of when I'm feeling it...and some people have said that I'm a word connoisseur, but I'm not sure...

Jeff:  Yes, you're kinda blowing my mind right now...

Dominique:  Ha ha ha ha ha.  I don't know if it's going to come out on TV, but I kid you not I have a reservoir of words that don't really come out unless I'm HEATED!  Ha ha ha ha ha!

(Oh, you're going to get HEATED Dominique.....guaranteed.)

Dominique did her Stoopid Sharade of her high school mascot for Jeff, and she really poured on the laughter before, during and afterwords.

Jeff:  Your vocabulary is great, but your charade skills need a little work...that's all I'm sayin'..

Dominique:  HA HA HA HA HA. Ha ha ha ha ha.  HA HA HA HA HA!

(It was a Golden Eagle, in case you need to know that.)

Dominque struggles with Jeff's Big Question--does she want to lose and be loved?  Or win and be hated?

Dominique:  Oh, that's a tough one.  Why do I have to choose?  Why can't I do both?

Jeff:  Oh, you can!  I'm just asking..

Dominique:  I think I can do both...Nothing is impossible.  I have a major support group!

Then Jeff asked how far she'll go to win the game, and she had an answer for that, too.

Dominique:  I wouldn't say I'll do ANYTHING...

And then she quoted some "scripture" about being innocent as dove, but shrewd as a snake.  She wants to keep her hands clean, but she's gotta strategize, too.

Jeff: I hope you make it to the end, because I'm gonna work on my vocabulary, and the Dominator comic book is going to be great!

Dominique:  YES!  ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha.

ALSO...We've only had these live Big Jeff interviews for two seasons now.  You might recall that last year there was a horrible terrorist attack just before the live interviews were scheduled (Pulse Nightclub in Orlando), so out of respect the interviews were taped on that day and posted to the CBS website the following day.  But BB17 is the only other season that aired the interviews live.  During that season, I think we had to listen to the loud BB music and we might have had FISH between sessions.

But this season we got an overhead blurry shot of the room when Jeff wasn't conducting an interview. You could see Jeff stand up and stretch, sometimes drinking water or leaving the room.  I also saw various production people come in from time-to-time---the whole operation took at least four hours, from start to finish. (Literally, from Ramses to Christmas.)  At one point, I saw a production person come in and sit on the couch, apparently to show Jeff exactly where the house guests needed to sit during the entire interview.  After that, Jeff started telling them to stay in frame while they performed their Stoopid Sharades.

So I took this picture to show you what the scene looked like, in my quest to document this BB season.  Some house guests sat and chatted with Big Jeff for a few minutes.  I remember that Super Spaz Josh Martinez was jumping up and down and acting like he had ants in his pants before his interview even started.  (Shocker, huh?)  And this is how I checked out Jillian Parker's bod as I analyzed her weight loss announcement.


Big Jeff didn't ask her about her showmance plans.  But I would be shocked if Dominique let something like that happen in there this summer.  For one thing, it's hard to kiss someone when you're talking all of the time.  And Dominique can find a way to stretch a two word sentence like "I QUIT" into a four-page manifesto.

Something just doesn't seem real to me about Dominique.  She is very beautiful, poised, and graceful with her words, but something just isn't right.  When her interview with Jeff first started, I thought she must be a Pageant Patty, because it just didn't feel genuine, but when she didn't mention it, I thought I was wrong.

Well, I was not wrong.  Not only was Dominique a Pageant Patty, she was Miss Black Florida at some point.  Yep.  I didn't watch this whole video, but I'm posting it here so you can see that I have the receipts.  Don't get me wrong---there is nothing wrong about entering pageants, but you'd think it would have come up in conversation, or quickly mentioned in her CBS bio.

(Britney Haynes was a Pageant Patty, and discussed often how it impacted her life in a positive way.  It wasn't some secret she was trying to keep from us.  But of course, Britney was a real BB fan and applied to be on the show, so maybe that's the difference.)

Also something feels off to me about her recitation of her education and work history.  The whole soliloquy seemed designed to prevent any further questions. And being a "government program manager" could mean ANYTHING.  We still don't know what she does at work every day, not even in general terms.  (Maybe she does criticality safety calculations of Technotronics.)  It just feels like a front.  Also, we all know people who are very intelligent and also successful, but I don't know any who speak like this, like a caricature of a genius stereotype.  It feels like a Mad TV sketch or something.

You know who she reminded me of?  Tracy Flick from the movie Election.  You know, this Tracy Flick:

If you've never watched Election, then you need to put that on your list.  Seriously.  It is a very clever dark comedy with a stellar cast.

I did look for Dominique's YouTube channel, and I found it. And I found LOTS of other YouTube content of Dominique performing "spoken word" and also pageant stuff.  She certainly has a presence onstage under the spotlights, but from the looks of it all, it isn't a "hidden talent".  I think entertainment is a career goal and that is her not-so-hidden agenda.

She started her YouTube channel about a year ago, with 12 videos currently posted.  You can see she's already getting a Big Brother Bump, with nearly 1,000 views of her latest video, compared to much less on her other videos.

For the sake of comprehensive reporting, I tired to watch her latest video.  I'm no techie, but it had a professional feel and her voice is strong.  But then the sappy inspirational background music started, and little phrases started popping up on the screen.  Then she mentioned God, or Jesus or something like that so I bailed.  But lots and lots of people like religion, so I'm sure there is a market for this sort of inspirational message, but not for me.  Nope.

In fact, the moment someone starts talking about their faith, I automatically tune out.  Just being honest.  I'm sure some of you will think I'm a heathen, but I'm an honest heathen. I respect everyone's right to worship (or not worship) as they please.  I just don't want to hear much about it.  Actually, when I graduated college and went to work for one of the largest accounting firms in the world, one of the first things our orientation class was told was to avoid talking about politics or religion with clients, or with each other, to avoid conflict and to remain neutral.  And that was good advice for me.

Let's give her CBS bio a look-see, shall we?

Well, I  like her three adjectives, and I love every single one of her favorite activities, and many of you will know that I just brought up the pain of all of those people having to use the same bathroom (in one of yesterday's intro videos...not sure which one), so we're in sync about that.

THIS IS FUNNY:  Dominique says she's going to always be watchful in the BB19 house, but "not in a creepy way".

HA HA HA HA HA.  What situation is fucking CREEPIER than Big Brother?  Does she KNOW about us?  Has she ever LOOKED at the BB YouTube videos?  Does she KNOW there are websites dedicated to posting naked pictures of BB house guests?

(Before you ask, I do not have those links but I'm sure you can find them somewhere, maybe on that Dark Net I keep hearing about.  And PLEASE don't try to share any of those links in the comments.  I already have some weirdo who keeps coming here searching for "Devin in his underwear".  And NO to my knowledge I didn't get ANY pictures of that!)

But no mention in her "Fun Facts" about any of this.  In fact, I don't think any of the bullets listed in that section actually qualifies as a "Fun Fact".  But admittedly I've already reached my limit of Dominique for this afternoon.

But she can make it up to me with some good drama this summer.  I think she's probably safe from eviction for the next few weeks, but she can't keep up The Act forever.  That curtain is going to come down at some point, and who knows what we will find then?

I'm not even going to discuss her chances of winning.  If she's still in the house in mid-August though, I'll be happy to talk about that.

Or as Dominique would say:  If at some point in the mid-to-late portion of the eighth month of this year Dominique finds herself still ensconced in the BB soundstage located on the Radford lot of the CBS studios without having been asked to leave by a majority of her peers, then we can schedule a time to converse about the possibility of her rising to the late stages of the elimination contest, potentially taking home the prize.

Meet Megan Lowder - Yanking House Guest Leashes All Summer Long. #BB19

It's time to meet Megan Lowder, who tells Big Jeff that she is a dog walker from Cathedral City California.  Jeff is shook.

Jeff:  What?  A professional dog walker?

Megan:  Yep.  A professional dog walker!

Megan is smiley and poised, and doesn't show any signs of being nervous.

Jeff:  How many of da dogs do you walk at one time?

Megan: Um, two, actually.  We're really restrictive for insurance reasons.

She seems like she's apologizing for that, but as a dog owner I am thrilled with that information.  I've seen dog walkers handling five or six leashes before, and I wouldn't want my little doggie subjected to that.  If I'm paying a professional to walk my dog I expect her to get some individualized attention.  Plus, how can you pick up the poop when you've got half a dozen pooches on the line?  Because you know that once one of them does the deed, it's going to be chaos for the next few yards.

Jeff actually accused her of being an amateur dog walker, and Megan just laughed and agreed with him.  So right there we know that Megan can be easy-going and isn't quick to be argumentative.  You all know I love Jeff, but if he commented on camera to me that I sound like a Certified Amateur Accountant, I'd be like, "Fuck you Big Jeff! Let me see your goddamned tax returns and I'll tell you who is the amateur is in this room!"

(One of many reasons why I'm not exactly Big Brother Material.....)

Jeff:  So, are you a fan of da show?

Megan, beaming at all of us:  I'm a HUGE fan of the show!  I can't believe I'm sitting here next to you!  I'm like, fangirling a little bit!

Jeff:  And you're in your house!  This is da Diary Room!  And the door to the house is right dere!

Megan looks up and around, taking it all in.

Megan: YES!  I'm dying!  Can you just let me go in there for a minute?

I can't believe no one has ever asked that seems reasonable.  Maybe just a peek down the hallway?

Also, I have noticed that whenever one of the house guests says something to Big Jeff about being dazzled by his presence, he immediately tells them that they are equals now, that it's their turn to be a BB player and personality.  It's a good deflection technique and helps the new players get back in the interview zone.  These Big Jeff interviews are usually 5-7 minutes long, and the time goes by pretty fast, so they need to use their time wisely.  Because you never know when America is going to get involved somehow, based solely on this brief glimpse of you as a player.  (Like in BB16, we picked America's Team...remember Blue Haired Joey?  Point taken, right?)

Jeff:  We're equals now!  You're on Big Brother's official.  Did  it sink in yet?

Megan:  No. I think I'm going to be one of those people who sprint around in there and look at everything!

Jeff:  What are you gonna do when you first go in dere?

Megan:  I'm gonna get a bed, for sure!  Heh heh heh.

Jeff:  That's good.

Megan:  Yeah, that's MY bed!  Ha ha ha ha ha.

Jeff: Do you have a strategy for da game, going in as a fan?

Megan:  I kind of want to be low-key at first, and sort everyone out so I can figure out who I can trust right away and who I need to stab in the back!

Jeff:  Would you be willing to win that first competition, right off the bat?

Megan:  It depends.  I really want to feel everyone out first.  If I feel like I might be a target, then YES, I want to win, and then get some of those early alliances going.  But if I don't feel like a target, then no, I'm going to just try and stay under the radar.

(PREDICTION:  Megan won't need to win the first HoH.)

Jeff:  I like that strategy....but don't listen to me though!

Jeff wondered what her downfalls could be....I think he needs to change the wording of that, because every time he says it, the house guests seem a little put off by it.  Because "downfall" implies that you failed (ie. you Fell Down).  The business crowd says "opportunities for improvement", but I think Jeff should say something like "what aspects of your personality do you think are going to hurt your chances?"

Megan, without hesitation:  I have a loud obnoxious Rachel!

Jeff thinks that is funny (because it is) and when he laughs, Megan starts laughing and we hear it.  It's nowhere near as bad as Rachel's laugh, but it is rather loud.  Do people hate that though?  I like to hear some good hearty laughter, but not when I'm trying to sleep or calculate accelerated depreciation or something.

Megan:  ....and I SNORE....I am a LOUD snorer.

Jeff is shook, again:  WOW!  So you better get da bed far away from everybody...or just win HoH a lot!

Megan:  Ha ha ha.  Yeah.

Jeff:  You can snore all you want up're the king!

Fun Fact:  Gerry from BB3 actually had to wear one of those CPAP things when he slept at night, due to his heavy snoring.  The apparatus was also loud, but also sort of like white noise in the background, I guess.  I'm sure CPAP technology has changed since then, since BB3 happened a million years ago.

Jeff:  So, are you going in dere single?

Megan:  Yes.  Very single.  For about two years, actually.

Jeff:  Well, you know how relationships in there go...

Megan:  Your's turned out pretty well!

Jeff:  Yeah, it did, last season not so much....I'm not picking on last season though!

Megan:  No of course not....we love them all!

(So Megan is also diplomatic, and knows when to keep negative opinions out of her mouth when necessary.  Good...)

Jeff: So, do ya think you might be interested in a showmance in there?

Megan:  I hope not.  But knowing me, I probably will!  Ha ha ha ha ha.  I'm too much of a flirt!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  All right.  It could be a good thing, it could be a bad thing.

Megan, very cheerfully:  Yeah!  I just hope it doesn't ruin my game!  Because I'm here for the money.

Jeff:  Would be willing to stab dat person in da back?

Megan, very cheerfully:  Yeah!  Absolutely!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Jeff wondered how far she'd be willing to go to win the money.

Megan:  Oh, all the way!  I'll do anything!  I'll dance with monkeys....and dance with gorillas.

(Um, what?)

Jeff:  I thought you were going to say you'd dance with the  devil.

Megan: No, but probably not monkeys, because they throw poop!

Jeff, processing this sharp turn of events: you have a different visual, and now the audience does, too.

OK, well, now that we're here.....this particular gorilla is just as good as Bartolo Colon....(little Atlanta Braves "joke").

If Megan wins she wants to help out her goddaughter, pay off her sister's bills, and then buy herself a house.

(A house in California?  Probably not, hon.  Particularly after income taxes, but whatever.)

Jeff wondered what Megan wants to take from this experience if she doesn't win it all.

Megan:  I'm just here for the Summer of My Life!  I want to do competitions!  I want to stand on a wall for hours!  I want to crawl through honey!  I want to eat slop! Well, I'm not particularly excited for the slop, but it's part of the experience, and I love that!

Jeff is delighted with Megan, listing to all of this. And we should be, too.

Jeff:  I love dat attitude. That's how you should be, going in dere.  Because it's a roller coaster in dere.

Megan: Yep!  I know! Sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down, but I'm ready for it!

And then the hashtag question rears it's pesky head.  Like 95% of the other house guests, Megan is stumped, saying she's "got nothing". (I can just hear the Producers in the Control Room banging their heads on the their desks.)

Jeff: How about #MeganForTheWin?  Or #Megan$500000?

Megan:  I like that!  How about #Megan$500000.

(What about #MeganDoggyStyle?  Or #BigDogMegan?  Or even #PickingUpThePoop? Let's get creative here, people!)

Good News:  Megan immediately tells Big Jeff that she doesn't care if America hates her, because she wants to get that money.  She actually pantomimes throwing off bills in the club and Jeff loves it.

Jeff:  I love your attitude!  It's gonna be a fun summer, but I don't want to talk to you until September!

Megan, beaming: All right!  DONE!


OK, I really like Megan.  And Jeff really does, too.  How could you not like Megan?

Here is my impression of her after watching this:  Imagine being in a business meeting, sitting around a table with your co-workers listening to your boss drone on and on about some sort of bullshit.  You want to look at your phone but you can't, and all of the good donuts are already taken. Someone says some particularly stupid shit and you catch Megan's eye across the table and then it's all both of you can do to keep from bursting out laughing.

THAT is who Megan is to me....that person who you can depend on to "get it" and "get you" if you're friends with her.  She would probably cover for you if you skip out on work to do something naughty, too.

Megan is a Partner in Crime.  I trust her immediately and would most definitely give her the key to my house so she can walk my dog.  She's just a super solid person.....right up until the time she backstabs you in Big Brother.

I love that she had some of her annoying "downfalls" at the ready, instead of just saying she might be too trusting (like quite a few of the others have said).  Because if you haven't assessed your flaws before you go in there, you probably shouldn't be going in there.

But people who spend a lot of time with animals often say that they enjoy them more than being around other people.  I can certainly relate to that sometimes.  If that is the case with Megan, I hope she can put up with all of the crap that is surely going to be thrown around in there.  Scoop up that poop, Megan.

Let's take a look at Megan's CBS bio:

OK...Megan is a Frank Eudy fan!  And wants to bro down with Frank over a beer!  Megan just got my attention with that...I'll buy the first round.  And she loves The Sitting Ducks, too.

And she admits to wanting to spread false info about the other house guests!  YES!  That is so sneaky and devious!  And yes, it is Dastardly. I love it.  In fact, everybody needs to read each item she has listed for strategy, because she says so many smart things.  (Like playing scared....such a wise thing to be aware of.)

I am expecting great things from Megan.  Every summer I try not to read anybody else's house guest analyses or listen to podcasts about them until I've finished with all of my house guest intro posts. (I'm only halfway done now....they take FOREVER.)  I like to form my own opinions without outside influence, so I don't know what everyone else thinks, but so far Megan is one of the two house guests that I can actually see myself cheering for on Finale Night, bursting out of the door in a tornado of confetti.

Go get 'em Megan!