Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Meet Josh Martinez - It's Not Us, It's You. #BB19

This brightly-togged man is Josh Martinez, who is shot out of a cannon when he starts speaking with Big Jeff.  In fact, when Jeff starts speaking Josh is marching his knees up and down, kind of like a puppy waiting for you to throw a tennis ball.

He said some Spanish stuff (I think) and then said he was 23 AND FROM MIAMI!


Jeff: This guy is jazzed up!   I love your energy, brother!

Jeff:  So are you a fan of da show?

Josh:  I'm a HUGE fan of the show since season 14 and international...all BB!

***WARNING***  CBS has edited this video since it was recorded live in the DR.  When I watched it live Josh said "I'm a huge fucking fan....." and then immediately apologized to Jeff about it.  He also said the Eff Word again later in the interview so I'm sure they took that one out, too.  If you just watch the edited version it looks like Jeff might have commented on Josh spitting while he spoke or something, but that's not what was actually going on.

I mean, Josh might have been spitting when he spoke, and Jeff might have been skeeved about it, but no one actually discussed that topic.  (I'm just presenting the facts here....)

Josh apologized to Jeff (not for spitting though) and Jeff said not to worry about it.

Josh:  It's the adrenaline, baby.

Jeff:  So are you excited or what?

Josh:  I'm a game player baby, and a business man.  I want to get in there and take shots, make big moves....I'm ready to go!

Jeff:  What's gonna make you a good player in dere?

Josh:  I'm a business person.  I grew up in the business industry and I know how to tell a snake when I see one....I know a great liar and manipulator when I see one, because I'm a great manipulator and also a great liar.  So I'm gonna point 'em out and then sit back...

Jeff: That's gonna be hard!

Josh: I know, because I'm just gonna wanna jump up and scream and start running around the place!  But I need to sit back, build relationships, get to know everybody and then see who I'll work with.

Josh is breathing heavily as soon as he stops speaking.  This is exertion for him, I guess.  Josh is hyped, ya'll.  Or maybe he's a heavy smoker.  Who knows.

(OK though.  Take it from someone who actually IS a business person---there is no such thing as being in the "business industry".  According to his CBS bio, Josh is a salesman in the HAIR CARE industry, but I'm going to try and take a chill pill with Josh so I'm not trying to correct him every time he opens his mouth.)

Jeff wonders if Josh's outgoing personality could work against him this summer.

Josh:  Well, I'm Cuban, and I'm loud, and I'm from Miami, and I'm in your face immediately but once they get to know me they'll love the kid.

Jeff:  I think so, too.

Josh says he's a social person and he's going to bring the fun all summer.  There's a lot of hostility in there, Josh tells Jeff.

Jeff asks Josh what he's willing to do to win the game.

Josh:  I'm winning.  Showmances out the door, alliances out the door....I'm cutting whoever I've got to cut.  I'm ruthless baby.

Jeff:  Ruthless!  Wow.  But what about relationships?

Well now Josh changes his tune and says he wants to find that "one little person" who he can work with, but when the opportunity presents itself, he's "going to cut them".

Josh needs this person to be outgoing like he is, but they also need to be able to calm him down.

Josh:  I'm reactive, I'm impulsive.  I can't have somebody who is parallel like me. I need someone to bring it down a bit, ground me, and maybe hold me back a little.  I think we'll make a good team.

Jeff:  The yin and the yang.

Josh:  Yeah.  Good cop, bad cop, obviously.

If Josh wins the big prize money, he's going to invest it and take care of his family.  He points out a few times that he's a family man, and gives his Mami a Cuban shout out and a big wave.

Josh also says he's an adrenaline junkie who is looking forward to this experience.

Josh:  I'm like a caged monkey ready to get in there and play!

Jeff wonders what Josh's hashtag would be....and it's this:  #TakeNoBullshitBeYourselfAlwaysDoYou.

Jeff: That's a long hashtag!

Josh is a very fast talker and has moved through all of Jeff's usual conversation in half the allotted time, so Jeff delves into his Stoopid Kwestion list on a note card.  I'm not going to insult you by reporting on these questions.

Josh did get bleeped for cursing again, and he also said he's ready to win and then "go straight to All Stars".  Josh did tell Jeff that he's not looking for fame---he is here to play this game and win and Jeff is quite happy to hear that.

Jeff:  I like dat attitude!

Jeff can't even get his Big Question out before Josh jumps in with the somewhat-predicted response.

Josh:  HATE ME!  DESPISE ME!  I don't care. I'm gonna win! You can hate me for who I am, and love me for my game play.


When Josh was live with Jeff in the DR, the chat room people were not happy with him.  The chatter was that his personality was too loud, too big, too annoying.  One chatter said "too much WHOO" and another mocked Josh's thirst to make big moves.  And after coming back to Josh's interview a few days later, it's still a lot to take, and to take in.

This is who Josh's not an act.  He is just chomping at the bit and doesn't give a damn about trying to act cool about it.  We've got to respect that.  But do we have to expect Josh to win BB19?  That certainly would be Expecting the Unexpected, wouldn't it?

In fact, due to the way Josh presents himself initially, I think he may be the one to get the boot on Premiere night, because it certainly sounds like Josh expects everybody to adjust to him, rather than for him to adjust to the 15 other people.  Last year Glenn narrowly lost a competition to Corey, which led to his eviction on Premiere Night.  I don't know if that is how it will work this season, but I can certainly see Josh getting Jodied Out if the house guests have to take it to a vote. Jodie's team actually lost the first competition, so Dan had to choose one of them to be evicted.

Everyone says now "oh, poor Jodie, she needs to play again".  But the reality is that she was only in there for about two hours, and managed to offend with the following, just off the top of my head:

*  She pointed at Jenn City in front of everybody and announced that "there is more than just one gay person here" after Wil Heuser introduced himself as "the gay one".

*  She pointed at someone and said she knew some of their teeth were fake.  (Danielle, I think.)

*  She announced that Frank Eudy was lying about being unemployed because he had name-brand Samsonite luggage.  (What did she expect, Frank to carry a Hefty bag full of clothes?)

So....Jodie earned her spot on the couch at home that summer.  She's an adult and should have known better than to speak about people like that, particularly after first meeting them.  I think Josh has potential to meet the same fate, but for slightly different reasons.

According to Google, there are 241 Josh Martinez's in Miami, so unless he admits to murdering someone there is no way I am going to try and sleuth him, but please review his CBS bio for a moment.

I really don't have much to say about Josh's game prospects this summer, except to say that he doesn't have any, as far as I'm concerned.  Ian Terry said that as soon as Julie announced that someone was going home on BB14 Premiere night, he was terrified it would be him.

If that indeed is what happens on next week's Premiere episode, and the house guests get to somehow choose who is evicted, I think the other house guests will breathe a sigh of relief that someone is available that they can all agree on.  Josh will be the low hanging fruit in the BB19 as long as he's there, I predict.

Also he looks like a very loud snorer, and he will likely eat more than his share of food.  If I was sitting at that round table trying to eat while Josh was hollering at me and spraying saliva all over my plate, I'd probably scream and hit the EXIT button on my way out.

Meet Jillian Parker - Hashtag Time Share, Don't Care. #BB19

This young lady is Jillian Parker, who tells Big Jeff that she lives in Las Vegas and she sells time shares, and has been doing that for about three years now.

(I'm not going to put on my CPA hat and talk crap about time shares, but it is taking A LOT of self-restraint not to do so......)

Jillian tells Jeff that she works with "several different clients each day" and thinks that experience is going to help her work with the other house guests successfully this summer.

Jeff:  Yeah!  You gotta sell everybody with that!  Because they really, really don't want to buy that!

Jillian:  Yeah, that happens everyday!  Just kidding...ha ha ha...

(Self restraint......self restraint......self restraint.......)

Jillian has a nice voice and is quite pleasant with Jeff, but she answers his questions quickly, without veering to another topic or offering any other type of information.  As a result, I can already tell that Big Jeff is going to have to work a little harder with her.  For example, just before Jillian's live interview, Cameron Heard was sitting on Jeff's couch, and his conversation style with Jeff was night and day compared to Jillian, because Cameron knew what Jeff wanted to talk about, and of course what all the live feeders need to know as well.

But maybe Jillian is nervous.  That's certainly possible.

Jeff asks Jillian if she's "single and ready to go", diligently avoiding the word "mingle".

Jillian:  Yeah, I'm single.

Jeff: Are you looking to find someone in dere?  (pointing at the door to Jeff's right)

Jillian:  I dunno....I know it worked out for you, but just sayin' I don't know if I'm ready to MINGLE.  I want to win the $500,000, so if that gets in the way, I dunno...

Jeff tells her that a relationship could hurt, or it could help.  He also looks directly at us and says he tried not to rhyme and use the word "mingle".   It's okay Big Jeff.  We saw what happened in there.  But haters gonna hate, of course.

And then sweet-looking Jillian took an opportunity to slander sweet-looking Nicole Franzel.

Jeff:  Well, a showmance worked out for Nicole....

Jillian:  Ah, did it though?  Because she had back-to-back, first one and then another guy, so I don't know..

Jeff, rather alarmed:  We're not talking about that though...we're just talking about this season!

Jillian:  Ha ha ha.  Right!

Then Jeff went back at it again with his showmance question.  It could function as a shield, he says.

Jillian agrees, but then says again she just wants to focus on the game and see what people are like in there first.  Jeff is oddly sarcastic about this, saying that we'll just have to see how things work out for her in there this summer.  It's as if he was expecting her to say, "hell yeah...I'm going to bone everyone" or something along those lines.

Jillian says one of her negatives could be that she can be too trusting sometimes, but she's trying to work on that to reduce the risk.  She's gong to try as hard as she can on the physical challenges, but knows her odds will be better with a good social game.

Jillian:  I'm going to do the best I can, but will probably focus more on the memory challenges.

And then Jillian finally touches on a topic that makes her more interesting.  She said she hopes to take away some new friendships this summer, and that coming in the house is living her dream.

Jillian:  Because I would never have been able to do this just a few months ago, so this is something awesome for me now.

Jeff:  What do you mean?

(What do you think she's going to say?  Any guesses?  Well, if you have a guess, I'll bet it's wrong.)

Jillian:  I, uh, actually had a weight loss surgery, so I lost about 50 pounds...

Jeff:  Wow!  Congratulations!

Jillian:  Thanks!  Yeah, I lost about 50 pounds since January, so I could never have done this before now, so for me to be here, it's amazing.

Jeff, for the 2nd time:  What do you mean?  Because you could have done it, but maybe you didn't want to?

Jillian:  Right. Right.  Plus, physically I was heavier, and I couldn't have done the challenges physically, but now..

Jeff, interrupting:  You could still do the challenges though!

Jillian:  Yeah, but for me though....for me...anyway, now I'm here and I'm ready to rock!

Jeff:  Nice!  I like that story.

OK.  WHAT THE FUCK?  Are doctors really performing weight loss surgeries for patients with ONLY 50 POUNDS TO LOSE?  If so, that is just ridiculous.  Fifty pounds is not an unattainable goal for anyone who really wants to lose weight, and certainly doesn't sound like something requiring surgery.

I know there are different types of bariatric surgeries with varying levels of complication (like gastric bypasses, gastric sleeves, some sort of rubber band surgery, etc) but I find what she just said shocking and suspiciously-wrong.

UNLESS...maybe she's referring to some extreme liposuction?  Where she got 50 pounds of fat sucked out?  But even that is crazy once I think about it.

I watched with great interest the blurry footage of Jillian after her interview was over.  She stood up and walked out, and although her shorts were kind of loose, she looked like a normal size woman.  She can't weigh much more than 130 right now, if even that much.  As Jeff stated, that is hardly a situation that would prevent you from doing BB challenges, right?

Unless Jillian means that she didn't want to be on TV looking heavy, because it seemed that she was deliberately being cryptic in her discussion with Jeff.  Do you think Production might have told her in previous casting sessions that she didn't fit the "image" that they were looking for?  I heard Adam Poch say on the BB13 live feeds that he tried out for BB when he was at a very high weight, and he was told he would be unable to compete unless he lost weight.  So he lost over a hundred pounds and made it on the show, but to me that is very different than Jillian losing a mere 50 pounds.

Admittedly I am not an authority on this topic, so I'll shut up before I offend someone, but I just don't understand what Jillian was saying with this. And I don't think Jeff did either, but I did notice that jumped in a few times to indicate that her weight wouldn't have held her back from playing the game.

Jeff moves on to change the topic to the BB fans---Jeff wonders what qualities Jillian has that will make the BB fans fall in love with her.

Jillian: Oh, I'm really silly, fun and quirky.  I'm very witty, too, and sometimes I just say what's on my mind in the moment.

Jeff:  OK, what's on your mind right now?

Jillian: Well, right now I'm shocked to be sitting with you, and I'm shocked to be in the Diary Room.  That's what's on my mind right now.

(Um...that was Jillian's big chance to be silly, fun, quirky OR witty, and she failed.  You can't just call yourself witty.  You either are or you aren't.  I think Jillian could have won us over by saying something like, "this looks like the kind of furniture you can buy at an Ikea liquidation sale", or "will a smoke alarm go off in here if I light up a cigarette?"  Or even something like "I can't believe this is where Audrey blanketed for six hours!" or "I'm usually naked when I watch your live feed cast interviews on the internet".  Anything, basically, but what she actually said, which was NOTHING.)

Jillian had some difficulties coming up with a hashtag, and it was painful watching Jeff try to give her ideas and move it along.

Jillian:  Hmmm...a hashtag...let's see.....uh...I don't know....

Jeff:  Too much pressure?  How about #TooMuchPressure?

Jillian: Ha ha.  Yeah.  How about #YOLOAllTheWay and #DontCare.  Oh, how about #BlondeGirlDontCare...ha ha ha!

 (OK.  WTF was that?  All of you BB hopefuls better start making up some clever G.D. hashtags to pass on to Big Jeff next summer.  Because so far most of the house guest responses have been PATHETIC.)

And then came the struggle with Jeff's Big Question.

Jillian:  Well, I know my mom is watching this, so I'll have to say I'll lose and be loved, but I want to win though!


Well, I sure hope that Jillian is more relaxed once the game begins and can start being silly, fun, quirky or witty.  She seems like a fan of the show, so I hope she knows how to play.  The nasty shade she was throwing at Nicole is kind of promising, though.  Maybe she's going to hurl insults at former BB players left and right on the live feeds.  Now THAT sounds interesting...

Before we all decide to bail on Jillian, let's read her CBS bio.  Once I saw this, I was immediately relieved about this casting choice.  I just wish she had brought up some of this stuff with Big Jeff!  I think future cast members should see this Jeff interview as an "elevator pitch" where you have a very short period of time to sell yourself to someone and to get your message out.  Know what you want to communicate, and be sure to cover the bullet points any chance you get.  Just pretend you are riding on an elevator with Mark Cuban and crowbar those bullet points in there.  In a charming, witty way of course.

A few highlights of the CBS bio:

*  She named Dani Donato as her favorite BB player.  That's a great sign for Jillian's gameplay, if you ask me.  (But Dani went "back-to-back" with men in both of her seasons, too, and Jillian didn't think to slut-shame Dani for that like she did Nicole.  Maybe Dani gets more props for actually marrying Dom.  Who knows?)

*  The interesting gambling info...Jeff loves to gamble, so it would have been fun to hear them discuss the broken-phone situation.

*  She does American Ninja Warrior courses?  C'mon now Jillian....that is quirky, silly AND fun.

*  Aligning with the guys to stab the girls in the back?  That's BB gold right there.

But the most interesting thing of all to me is that Jillian actually grew up in Celebration Florida.  Celebration is a community designed by Walt Disney World which was generally the target of skepticism in the Orlando area.  Everyone was like, "how dare WDW think we're going to buy overpriced homes and condominiums in a subdivision designed by theme park people!"

(Actually, the last sentence might be the perfect indicator of why Jillian works in the time-share industry.)

Celebration was a source of mystery back then.  No one really knew what to make of it, and I've never heard of anyone being "from" there.

When I lived in Orlando I actually went out on a date with a Disney Imagineer who was visiting from California to work on ideas for Celebration.  He was a bit older than me, and had a very generous expense account.  He and two other Imagineers took me and two of my girlfriends out to eat at Hemingways at the Grand Cypress Resort and the sky was the limit.  Our table was a private one in some sort of gazebo and we were popping bottles and eating all the courses with no worries.

Another good one that got away.  Damn.

But when I think about Celebration, I think about some guys who got killed there back in the late 90's.  (Sorry Mickey, Minnie and Donald.)  Three guys in their 30's were visiting Orlando together for a golf vacation and were staying in Celebration.  They went out for dinner and were never seen again.  As you might imagine, the theories and speculation were off the charts about it, because disappearances of three men was (and still is) quite unusual.

It turned out that after dinner they were driving to return to their room at Celebration, and got off on the Celebration exit off I-4.  After exiting, they were to drive a a number of yards, and then make a left turn.  But Celebration did not have adequate signage in place, nor lighting, it seemed, causing the guys' car to miss the left turn and drive into a small lake where they all died.  They weren't found for almost a year, and at least six other cars and stuff were found in the lake when they drained it.

Anyway, back to Jillian.  Let's try to give her a chance and see what she can do.  She might be the type of house guest who is easily overlooked and disregarded in there, allowing her to slide through the early evictions.  We've certainly seen prior house guests swear to Jeff that they will play a ruthless, brave game only to let us down in the end.  Perhaps Jillian will be the opposite case.

Maybe she'll even be the one to have a few drinks and then dance on the kitchen counter.  Maybe she'll hook up with ALL the guys and have to eat her own words.  A bitter feast for her, but a delicious one for the fans.

Julie Chen Gives Us a Sneak Peek of the #BB19 Season.

As promised, Julie's pre-season tour of the BB house was released today via TV Guide.  In the past few years, pictures of the house always leaked out ahead of time, but this year Production has managed somehow to plug those pesky leaks.

(Remember last summer when we saw that leaked picture of the sand on the BB18 bathroom floor?  Well that HORRIBLE idea was apparently nixed before move-in date.)

I've been kind of dreading this day out of fear that my beloved "ribs" from last summer's living room decor would be banished.  And indeed the ribs are gone....I've already moved on to the "acceptance" stage of grief, though.  I can't bring the ribs back, but I can publish one more picture before we move on and look at the new BB19 house.  The ribs were so massive and spectacular, I had a hard time finding a picture that featured them in all of their two-story glory, but I guess this will have to do.

I guess this is all they could come up with to replace the awesomeness of the ribs.  Whatever.

Julie tells us that the theme this summer is "Temptation", and I hope you appreciate this picture because I had to try eight times to capture it properly, it flashed by so quickly.

In case you're extremely impaired right now, you will recognize the theme of the serpent and the apple, which certainly references our old friends Adam and Eve.

I also think they might be tipping their caps to Nicole, who won the grand prize last summer. (ie "Snakeole")

In keeping with the theme, this is some sort of Ikea apple tree with some red apples on it.  Instead of Eve sinning with the snake, though, this makes me immediately think of Hi Ho Cherry-O.

You know, the Hi Ho Cherry-O game?  Surely someone out there also made the connection.

By the way, I'm pretty sure if you locked 10 of us in a room with a few joints and a handful of classic children's games, we could create an amazing list of potential BB competitions, right?   Because I'm only on coffee right now and my mind is spinning with ideas, just looking at the Hi Ho Cherry-O game board.

Like how to steal cherries from the other players' baskets, or maybe there a dreaded "rotten cherry" that you don't want to get stuck with.  Or maybe some sort of golden cherry that wins extra prizes.  Or maybe you might need to use your own precious cherries to throw at someone else, to hurt their game. And so on.

And it's fun to say "Hi Ho Cherry-O" of course.  Your welcome, Heath Luman.

Julie proudly walks us through this bedroom, which she says is based on power, and she compares this to a "rich guy's den".

Well, Julie knows more rich guys than I do (unfortunately), but I'm guessing the rich guys would not want to have single beds in their private lairs.  Note the red telephone on the desk, near the red typewriter.  That's not the last time we'll see that phone, I'm sure....

Julie says that there is "$64,000 in fake money" displayed on the walls in there.

Is that a reference to this?

 If so, I'm not sure that the BB SuperFans will reach the intended conclusion about it.  Because it doesn't take too much prodding for the "fans" to conjure up all sorts of conspiracy theories about rigging.  (Remember when Alison Grodner was going to rig the season for Amanda Zuckerman to win because Amanda was her secret realtor? LOL  What a bunch of idiots.)

And then Julie walked us through this bedroom, which she actually referred to as "the Showmance room", because all of the beds are double beds, just the right size for "snuggling and sharing secrets".

If we really feel the need to blame someone for this, it's Dr. Will Kirby, because he's the guy who coined the "showmance" term, I believe.  He and Mike Boogie, who actually got ENGAGED during the live BB2 finale.  LOL.  Another idiotic situation.

You will see that round bed in the back of this picture---they've had that old bed since BB8, I think.  Everyone always comes out of the house and says the beds are extremely uncomfortable, even the HoH bed.

I actually love the red flower wall.  It's beautiful, and I'm sure Production will be snickering all season as they watch a few of the SuperFans try to count how many blossoms are on the wall.

(They haven't had many of those type of competitions lately, have they?)

And here is the communal doesn't look like much in this picture, but on Julie's video it was more striking.  That sink looks so small...and I don't see a lot of storage.  Usually they have drawers or lockers just to the right of the sink that provide enough room to keep the room uncluttered, but right now all I see are towel bars.

Well, maybe everyone can just openly share their toiletries this season, without worrying about who brought in what, and how much it cost.


Julie points out that there is a couch in there this summer, so everyone can cozy up and conspire.

You might remember that last season, instead of a couch they sat on some sort of "dock" that looked quite uncomfortable.

And there are mirrors everywhere on the walls in the bathroom, which is actually a cute decorating idea that I might consider for a small powder room that I plan to redecorate soon.

But the mirrors, mirrors, on the wall automatically make me think of this.

Is that an apple that the old hag is holding?  What a coincidence, huh?

Julie seemed particularly excited to show us the lounge area.  She specifically points out that that blue velvet lumpy thing is designed as a place where the house guests can get comfortable together.  It actually looks like another Ikea mattress with a dead body lumped up in the middle.

Everyone always eats in that room, so that couch is going to be a damn mess before we even get the live feeds.  But the vibe is cool, and the colors are soothing.

And I like the green apples.  I'm sure one of you nerds already counted the green apples, right?

I do enjoy the tartness and crisp bite of a good Granny Smith apple.  I think this would be my spot if I were a BB19 house guest---the dark blue velvet club chair.  I'm picturing the room smelling like a fresh apple orchard, but of course it probably smells like dirty tube socks and wet beach towels when people are living in there.

And here is Julie trudging up the spiral stairs, making her way to the HoH room from the loft.  I'm sure she's trying to stay positive here, but this view is really nothing without the ribs and the "transportation panels" that lined the walkway last year, along with the aviation runway lights.

Julie Chen might as well be walking through an empty coin laundry here, for what the decor looks like.

And this is the BB19 HoH Suite.  Julie tells us the decorating theme is "greed" in this room.   I think it is supposed to bring a Las Vegas high roller's room to mind, but I can't remember if Julie specifically mentioned that.

You can see the fish tank is still there, but I don't think all the fish have all moved in yet at the time of Julie's tour.

Are those stacks of gold cash under the glass-topped coffee table?  Did we get a count on that yet?

And here is another view, from the HoH bathroom.  I guess the hope of having an actual wall for privacy is gone for good, now.  I guess it could be worse---the BBCAN house just had a fucking curtain around the HoH toilet.

Yep, a fucking curtain. No wonder they cancelled that show.

I don't see any big changes to the BB backyard, except for the new blow-up pool toys.  Those red ones are meant to look like cherries apples.

I do like the blue sky backdrop, though, way off in the distance.

The Chenbot is all hyped up about this season, and wants us to join her for a great summer.

Don't worry Julie...we'll be there.