Thursday, June 22, 2017

Meet Megan Lowder - Yanking House Guest Leashes All Summer Long. #BB19

It's time to meet Megan Lowder, who tells Big Jeff that she is a dog walker from Cathedral City California.  Jeff is shook.

Jeff:  What?  A professional dog walker?

Megan:  Yep.  A professional dog walker!

Megan is smiley and poised, and doesn't show any signs of being nervous.

Jeff:  How many of da dogs do you walk at one time?

Megan: Um, two, actually.  We're really restrictive for insurance reasons.

She seems like she's apologizing for that, but as a dog owner I am thrilled with that information.  I've seen dog walkers handling five or six leashes before, and I wouldn't want my little doggie subjected to that.  If I'm paying a professional to walk my dog I expect her to get some individualized attention.  Plus, how can you pick up the poop when you've got half a dozen pooches on the line?  Because you know that once one of them does the deed, it's going to be chaos for the next few yards.

Jeff actually accused her of being an amateur dog walker, and Megan just laughed and agreed with him.  So right there we know that Megan can be easy-going and isn't quick to be argumentative.  You all know I love Jeff, but if he commented on camera to me that I sound like a Certified Amateur Accountant, I'd be like, "Fuck you Big Jeff! Let me see your goddamned tax returns and I'll tell you who is the amateur is in this room!"

(One of many reasons why I'm not exactly Big Brother Material.....)

Jeff:  So, are you a fan of da show?

Megan, beaming at all of us:  I'm a HUGE fan of the show!  I can't believe I'm sitting here next to you!  I'm like, fangirling a little bit!

Jeff:  And you're in your house!  This is da Diary Room!  And the door to the house is right dere!

Megan looks up and around, taking it all in.

Megan: YES!  I'm dying!  Can you just let me go in there for a minute?

I can't believe no one has ever asked that seems reasonable.  Maybe just a peek down the hallway?

Also, I have noticed that whenever one of the house guests says something to Big Jeff about being dazzled by his presence, he immediately tells them that they are equals now, that it's their turn to be a BB player and personality.  It's a good deflection technique and helps the new players get back in the interview zone.  These Big Jeff interviews are usually 5-7 minutes long, and the time goes by pretty fast, so they need to use their time wisely.  Because you never know when America is going to get involved somehow, based solely on this brief glimpse of you as a player.  (Like in BB16, we picked America's Team...remember Blue Haired Joey?  Point taken, right?)

Jeff:  We're equals now!  You're on Big Brother's official.  Did  it sink in yet?

Megan:  No. I think I'm going to be one of those people who sprint around in there and look at everything!

Jeff:  What are you gonna do when you first go in dere?

Megan:  I'm gonna get a bed, for sure!  Heh heh heh.

Jeff:  That's good.

Megan:  Yeah, that's MY bed!  Ha ha ha ha ha.

Jeff: Do you have a strategy for da game, going in as a fan?

Megan:  I kind of want to be low-key at first, and sort everyone out so I can figure out who I can trust right away and who I need to stab in the back!

Jeff:  Would you be willing to win that first competition, right off the bat?

Megan:  It depends.  I really want to feel everyone out first.  If I feel like I might be a target, then YES, I want to win, and then get some of those early alliances going.  But if I don't feel like a target, then no, I'm going to just try and stay under the radar.

(PREDICTION:  Megan won't need to win the first HoH.)

Jeff:  I like that strategy....but don't listen to me though!

Jeff wondered what her downfalls could be....I think he needs to change the wording of that, because every time he says it, the house guests seem a little put off by it.  Because "downfall" implies that you failed (ie. you Fell Down).  The business crowd says "opportunities for improvement", but I think Jeff should say something like "what aspects of your personality do you think are going to hurt your chances?"

Megan, without hesitation:  I have a loud obnoxious Rachel!

Jeff thinks that is funny (because it is) and when he laughs, Megan starts laughing and we hear it.  It's nowhere near as bad as Rachel's laugh, but it is rather loud.  Do people hate that though?  I like to hear some good hearty laughter, but not when I'm trying to sleep or calculate accelerated depreciation or something.

Megan:  ....and I SNORE....I am a LOUD snorer.

Jeff is shook, again:  WOW!  So you better get da bed far away from everybody...or just win HoH a lot!

Megan:  Ha ha ha.  Yeah.

Jeff:  You can snore all you want up're the king!

Fun Fact:  Gerry from BB3 actually had to wear one of those CPAP things when he slept at night, due to his heavy snoring.  The apparatus was also loud, but also sort of like white noise in the background, I guess.  I'm sure CPAP technology has changed since then, since BB3 happened a million years ago.

Jeff:  So, are you going in dere single?

Megan:  Yes.  Very single.  For about two years, actually.

Jeff:  Well, you know how relationships in there go...

Megan:  Your's turned out pretty well!

Jeff:  Yeah, it did, last season not so much....I'm not picking on last season though!

Megan:  No of course not....we love them all!

(So Megan is also diplomatic, and knows when to keep negative opinions out of her mouth when necessary.  Good...)

Jeff: So, do ya think you might be interested in a showmance in there?

Megan:  I hope not.  But knowing me, I probably will!  Ha ha ha ha ha.  I'm too much of a flirt!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  All right.  It could be a good thing, it could be a bad thing.

Megan, very cheerfully:  Yeah!  I just hope it doesn't ruin my game!  Because I'm here for the money.

Jeff:  Would be willing to stab dat person in da back?

Megan, very cheerfully:  Yeah!  Absolutely!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Jeff wondered how far she'd be willing to go to win the money.

Megan:  Oh, all the way!  I'll do anything!  I'll dance with monkeys....and dance with gorillas.

(Um, what?)

Jeff:  I thought you were going to say you'd dance with the  devil.

Megan: No, but probably not monkeys, because they throw poop!

Jeff, processing this sharp turn of events: you have a different visual, and now the audience does, too.

OK, well, now that we're here.....this particular gorilla is just as good as Bartolo Colon....(little Atlanta Braves "joke").

If Megan wins she wants to help out her goddaughter, pay off her sister's bills, and then buy herself a house.

(A house in California?  Probably not, hon.  Particularly after income taxes, but whatever.)

Jeff wondered what Megan wants to take from this experience if she doesn't win it all.

Megan:  I'm just here for the Summer of My Life!  I want to do competitions!  I want to stand on a wall for hours!  I want to crawl through honey!  I want to eat slop! Well, I'm not particularly excited for the slop, but it's part of the experience, and I love that!

Jeff is delighted with Megan, listing to all of this. And we should be, too.

Jeff:  I love dat attitude. That's how you should be, going in dere.  Because it's a roller coaster in dere.

Megan: Yep!  I know! Sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down, but I'm ready for it!

And then the hashtag question rears it's pesky head.  Like 95% of the other house guests, Megan is stumped, saying she's "got nothing". (I can just hear the Producers in the Control Room banging their heads on the their desks.)

Jeff: How about #MeganForTheWin?  Or #Megan$500000?

Megan:  I like that!  How about #Megan$500000.

(What about #MeganDoggyStyle?  Or #BigDogMegan?  Or even #PickingUpThePoop? Let's get creative here, people!)

Good News:  Megan immediately tells Big Jeff that she doesn't care if America hates her, because she wants to get that money.  She actually pantomimes throwing off bills in the club and Jeff loves it.

Jeff:  I love your attitude!  It's gonna be a fun summer, but I don't want to talk to you until September!

Megan, beaming: All right!  DONE!


OK, I really like Megan.  And Jeff really does, too.  How could you not like Megan?

Here is my impression of her after watching this:  Imagine being in a business meeting, sitting around a table with your co-workers listening to your boss drone on and on about some sort of bullshit.  You want to look at your phone but you can't, and all of the good donuts are already taken. Someone says some particularly stupid shit and you catch Megan's eye across the table and then it's all both of you can do to keep from bursting out laughing.

THAT is who Megan is to me....that person who you can depend on to "get it" and "get you" if you're friends with her.  She would probably cover for you if you skip out on work to do something naughty, too.

Megan is a Partner in Crime.  I trust her immediately and would most definitely give her the key to my house so she can walk my dog.  She's just a super solid person.....right up until the time she backstabs you in Big Brother.

I love that she had some of her annoying "downfalls" at the ready, instead of just saying she might be too trusting (like quite a few of the others have said).  Because if you haven't assessed your flaws before you go in there, you probably shouldn't be going in there.

But people who spend a lot of time with animals often say that they enjoy them more than being around other people.  I can certainly relate to that sometimes.  If that is the case with Megan, I hope she can put up with all of the crap that is surely going to be thrown around in there.  Scoop up that poop, Megan.

Let's take a look at Megan's CBS bio:

OK...Megan is a Frank Eudy fan!  And wants to bro down with Frank over a beer!  Megan just got my attention with that...I'll buy the first round.  And she loves The Sitting Ducks, too.

And she admits to wanting to spread false info about the other house guests!  YES!  That is so sneaky and devious!  And yes, it is Dastardly. I love it.  In fact, everybody needs to read each item she has listed for strategy, because she says so many smart things.  (Like playing scared....such a wise thing to be aware of.)

I am expecting great things from Megan.  Every summer I try not to read anybody else's house guest analyses or listen to podcasts about them until I've finished with all of my house guest intro posts. (I'm only halfway done now....they take FOREVER.)  I like to form my own opinions without outside influence, so I don't know what everyone else thinks, but so far Megan is one of the two house guests that I can actually see myself cheering for on Finale Night, bursting out of the door in a tornado of confetti.

Go get 'em Megan!

1 comment :

  1. I was really impressed by her too, but was starting to feel like it was just me! You need to read her THR interview later, some very interesting things that had me bump her to the top of my list


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