Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Meet Jillian Parker - Hashtag Time Share, Don't Care. #BB19

This young lady is Jillian Parker, who tells Big Jeff that she lives in Las Vegas and she sells time shares, and has been doing that for about three years now.

(I'm not going to put on my CPA hat and talk crap about time shares, but it is taking A LOT of self-restraint not to do so......)

Jillian tells Jeff that she works with "several different clients each day" and thinks that experience is going to help her work with the other house guests successfully this summer.

Jeff:  Yeah!  You gotta sell everybody with that!  Because they really, really don't want to buy that!

Jillian:  Yeah, that happens everyday!  Just kidding...ha ha ha...

(Self restraint......self restraint......self restraint.......)

Jillian has a nice voice and is quite pleasant with Jeff, but she answers his questions quickly, without veering to another topic or offering any other type of information.  As a result, I can already tell that Big Jeff is going to have to work a little harder with her.  For example, just before Jillian's live interview, Cameron Heard was sitting on Jeff's couch, and his conversation style with Jeff was night and day compared to Jillian, because Cameron knew what Jeff wanted to talk about, and of course what all the live feeders need to know as well.

But maybe Jillian is nervous.  That's certainly possible.

Jeff asks Jillian if she's "single and ready to go", diligently avoiding the word "mingle".

Jillian:  Yeah, I'm single.

Jeff: Are you looking to find someone in dere?  (pointing at the door to Jeff's right)

Jillian:  I dunno....I know it worked out for you, but just sayin' I don't know if I'm ready to MINGLE.  I want to win the $500,000, so if that gets in the way, I dunno...

Jeff tells her that a relationship could hurt, or it could help.  He also looks directly at us and says he tried not to rhyme and use the word "mingle".   It's okay Big Jeff.  We saw what happened in there.  But haters gonna hate, of course.

And then sweet-looking Jillian took an opportunity to slander sweet-looking Nicole Franzel.

Jeff:  Well, a showmance worked out for Nicole....

Jillian:  Ah, did it though?  Because she had back-to-back, first one and then another guy, so I don't know..

Jeff, rather alarmed:  We're not talking about that though...we're just talking about this season!

Jillian:  Ha ha ha.  Right!

Then Jeff went back at it again with his showmance question.  It could function as a shield, he says.

Jillian agrees, but then says again she just wants to focus on the game and see what people are like in there first.  Jeff is oddly sarcastic about this, saying that we'll just have to see how things work out for her in there this summer.  It's as if he was expecting her to say, "hell yeah...I'm going to bone everyone" or something along those lines.

Jillian says one of her negatives could be that she can be too trusting sometimes, but she's trying to work on that to reduce the risk.  She's gong to try as hard as she can on the physical challenges, but knows her odds will be better with a good social game.

Jillian:  I'm going to do the best I can, but will probably focus more on the memory challenges.

And then Jillian finally touches on a topic that makes her more interesting.  She said she hopes to take away some new friendships this summer, and that coming in the house is living her dream.

Jillian:  Because I would never have been able to do this just a few months ago, so this is something awesome for me now.

Jeff:  What do you mean?

(What do you think she's going to say?  Any guesses?  Well, if you have a guess, I'll bet it's wrong.)

Jillian:  I, uh, actually had a weight loss surgery, so I lost about 50 pounds...

Jeff:  Wow!  Congratulations!

Jillian:  Thanks!  Yeah, I lost about 50 pounds since January, so I could never have done this before now, so for me to be here, it's amazing.

Jeff, for the 2nd time:  What do you mean?  Because you could have done it, but maybe you didn't want to?

Jillian:  Right. Right.  Plus, physically I was heavier, and I couldn't have done the challenges physically, but now..

Jeff, interrupting:  You could still do the challenges though!

Jillian:  Yeah, but for me though....for me...anyway, now I'm here and I'm ready to rock!

Jeff:  Nice!  I like that story.

OK.  WHAT THE FUCK?  Are doctors really performing weight loss surgeries for patients with ONLY 50 POUNDS TO LOSE?  If so, that is just ridiculous.  Fifty pounds is not an unattainable goal for anyone who really wants to lose weight, and certainly doesn't sound like something requiring surgery.

I know there are different types of bariatric surgeries with varying levels of complication (like gastric bypasses, gastric sleeves, some sort of rubber band surgery, etc) but I find what she just said shocking and suspiciously-wrong.

UNLESS...maybe she's referring to some extreme liposuction?  Where she got 50 pounds of fat sucked out?  But even that is crazy once I think about it.

I watched with great interest the blurry footage of Jillian after her interview was over.  She stood up and walked out, and although her shorts were kind of loose, she looked like a normal size woman.  She can't weigh much more than 130 right now, if even that much.  As Jeff stated, that is hardly a situation that would prevent you from doing BB challenges, right?

Unless Jillian means that she didn't want to be on TV looking heavy, because it seemed that she was deliberately being cryptic in her discussion with Jeff.  Do you think Production might have told her in previous casting sessions that she didn't fit the "image" that they were looking for?  I heard Adam Poch say on the BB13 live feeds that he tried out for BB when he was at a very high weight, and he was told he would be unable to compete unless he lost weight.  So he lost over a hundred pounds and made it on the show, but to me that is very different than Jillian losing a mere 50 pounds.

Admittedly I am not an authority on this topic, so I'll shut up before I offend someone, but I just don't understand what Jillian was saying with this. And I don't think Jeff did either, but I did notice that jumped in a few times to indicate that her weight wouldn't have held her back from playing the game.

Jeff moves on to change the topic to the BB fans---Jeff wonders what qualities Jillian has that will make the BB fans fall in love with her.

Jillian: Oh, I'm really silly, fun and quirky.  I'm very witty, too, and sometimes I just say what's on my mind in the moment.

Jeff:  OK, what's on your mind right now?

Jillian: Well, right now I'm shocked to be sitting with you, and I'm shocked to be in the Diary Room.  That's what's on my mind right now.

(Um...that was Jillian's big chance to be silly, fun, quirky OR witty, and she failed.  You can't just call yourself witty.  You either are or you aren't.  I think Jillian could have won us over by saying something like, "this looks like the kind of furniture you can buy at an Ikea liquidation sale", or "will a smoke alarm go off in here if I light up a cigarette?"  Or even something like "I can't believe this is where Audrey blanketed for six hours!" or "I'm usually naked when I watch your live feed cast interviews on the internet".  Anything, basically, but what she actually said, which was NOTHING.)

Jillian had some difficulties coming up with a hashtag, and it was painful watching Jeff try to give her ideas and move it along.

Jillian:  Hmmm...a hashtag...let's see.....uh...I don't know....

Jeff:  Too much pressure?  How about #TooMuchPressure?

Jillian: Ha ha.  Yeah.  How about #YOLOAllTheWay and #DontCare.  Oh, how about #BlondeGirlDontCare...ha ha ha!

 (OK.  WTF was that?  All of you BB hopefuls better start making up some clever G.D. hashtags to pass on to Big Jeff next summer.  Because so far most of the house guest responses have been PATHETIC.)

And then came the struggle with Jeff's Big Question.

Jillian:  Well, I know my mom is watching this, so I'll have to say I'll lose and be loved, but I want to win though!


Well, I sure hope that Jillian is more relaxed once the game begins and can start being silly, fun, quirky or witty.  She seems like a fan of the show, so I hope she knows how to play.  The nasty shade she was throwing at Nicole is kind of promising, though.  Maybe she's going to hurl insults at former BB players left and right on the live feeds.  Now THAT sounds interesting...

Before we all decide to bail on Jillian, let's read her CBS bio.  Once I saw this, I was immediately relieved about this casting choice.  I just wish she had brought up some of this stuff with Big Jeff!  I think future cast members should see this Jeff interview as an "elevator pitch" where you have a very short period of time to sell yourself to someone and to get your message out.  Know what you want to communicate, and be sure to cover the bullet points any chance you get.  Just pretend you are riding on an elevator with Mark Cuban and crowbar those bullet points in there.  In a charming, witty way of course.

A few highlights of the CBS bio:

*  She named Dani Donato as her favorite BB player.  That's a great sign for Jillian's gameplay, if you ask me.  (But Dani went "back-to-back" with men in both of her seasons, too, and Jillian didn't think to slut-shame Dani for that like she did Nicole.  Maybe Dani gets more props for actually marrying Dom.  Who knows?)

*  The interesting gambling info...Jeff loves to gamble, so it would have been fun to hear them discuss the broken-phone situation.

*  She does American Ninja Warrior courses?  C'mon now Jillian....that is quirky, silly AND fun.

*  Aligning with the guys to stab the girls in the back?  That's BB gold right there.

But the most interesting thing of all to me is that Jillian actually grew up in Celebration Florida.  Celebration is a community designed by Walt Disney World which was generally the target of skepticism in the Orlando area.  Everyone was like, "how dare WDW think we're going to buy overpriced homes and condominiums in a subdivision designed by theme park people!"

(Actually, the last sentence might be the perfect indicator of why Jillian works in the time-share industry.)

Celebration was a source of mystery back then.  No one really knew what to make of it, and I've never heard of anyone being "from" there.

When I lived in Orlando I actually went out on a date with a Disney Imagineer who was visiting from California to work on ideas for Celebration.  He was a bit older than me, and had a very generous expense account.  He and two other Imagineers took me and two of my girlfriends out to eat at Hemingways at the Grand Cypress Resort and the sky was the limit.  Our table was a private one in some sort of gazebo and we were popping bottles and eating all the courses with no worries.

Another good one that got away.  Damn.

But when I think about Celebration, I think about some guys who got killed there back in the late 90's.  (Sorry Mickey, Minnie and Donald.)  Three guys in their 30's were visiting Orlando together for a golf vacation and were staying in Celebration.  They went out for dinner and were never seen again.  As you might imagine, the theories and speculation were off the charts about it, because disappearances of three men was (and still is) quite unusual.

It turned out that after dinner they were driving to return to their room at Celebration, and got off on the Celebration exit off I-4.  After exiting, they were to drive a a number of yards, and then make a left turn.  But Celebration did not have adequate signage in place, nor lighting, it seemed, causing the guys' car to miss the left turn and drive into a small lake where they all died.  They weren't found for almost a year, and at least six other cars and stuff were found in the lake when they drained it.

Anyway, back to Jillian.  Let's try to give her a chance and see what she can do.  She might be the type of house guest who is easily overlooked and disregarded in there, allowing her to slide through the early evictions.  We've certainly seen prior house guests swear to Jeff that they will play a ruthless, brave game only to let us down in the end.  Perhaps Jillian will be the opposite case.

Maybe she'll even be the one to have a few drinks and then dance on the kitchen counter.  Maybe she'll hook up with ALL the guys and have to eat her own words.  A bitter feast for her, but a delicious one for the fans.

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