Thursday, September 1, 2016

An Offer Victor Can't Refuse. #BB18

Once again, I'm starting with action from last night's BBAD episode, which feels like a cop out, but the house guests have literally been sleeping all day long here on the east coast.  Might as well clear out my DVR recordings while I'm at it.

Last night just before 9:00 PM BBT, Corey and Nicole called Victor and Paul into the HoH room for a special Final Four meeting.  Nicole and Corey sat on the bed to address them, and even though Corey told them that the meeting was good news, they were both nervous and scared of what was about to happen.

What Happened:  Corey wanted to "seal the deal" on their alliance by offering the $5,000 bribe to Victor in exchange for his vote to evict Michelle.

Victor was nearly in tears, and I could see the other three were choked up at the gesture as well. Corey said neither he nor Nicole planned to tell anyone else about this, and Nicole said she hoped they wouldn't use the information later to screw them over.  (i.e. tell James & Natalie about it)

Victor:  No.  No.  We won't do that.  I just can't thank you enough...this means so much to me.

Paul:  It feels like you just proposed to us. And now I don't have to worry about going home this week.

Victor immediately started talking about the trip to Cancun they'd all be taking with the money, but both Corey and Nicole told him that the money is his to use however he'd like.

Corey:  I don't need a trip.  The money is yours....I know James said he wanted it, but....

Paul:  Fuck James!

And speaking of James, this is what he's up to.  Shocker.

Neither James nor Natalie has even bothered yet to ask Nicole what her plans are for Thursday night. Reportedly James just assumes that Paul is Nicole's target, but I think deep inside James knows his game is in big trouble.  I'm not even sure James wants to be in the Final Two, because if he is, he will not receive the stipend, and will not be eligible for America's Favorite Player.

Having said that, I realize the vets probably have a different deal as far as the stipend amount goes, but I think the game show laws and regulations are what drive the whole "stipend vs. prize" situation.  The stipend assumes that the players are like employees or performers, so that is their compensation. But if you are in the Final Two, you are a prize winner rather than an employee, so the stipend isn't applicable.  So let's look at the simple math on that:

James as Final Two: (let's assume 2nd place)  $50,000

James as Juror:

Stipend:  $35,000 (my assumption for the vets - just a ballpark guess)
AFP:      $25,000

Total       $60,000 (includes intangible bragging rights as AFP)

Maybe I'm all wrong on that.  James is not shy about contacting me to refute the information that I publish, or to request a retraction, so of course he is welcome to comment.  He was certainly very polite about it last year, considering how mean and snarky I was about him.  I will even provide complimentary tax advice on a limited basis.

Here is some free tax info now:  He will have to pay federal self-employment taxes in addition to income taxes on the stipend, but not on the prize, so there's that. But that $500,000 is going to put anyone who wins into the top 39.5% federal tax rate, so that's a mighty big bill to pay.

James and Natalie are not alone in that room, but they may as well be....Michelle is rolled up in her plaid blankie and appears to be moaning and groaning like we saw on the CBS episode.

Michelle is not well, clearly.  She seems to have given up and doesn't give a crap anymore.  Maybe she has realized that she had the game wrapped around her finger when she made the final three deal with Paul and Victor.  And that maybe America gave her that Co-HoH Care Package so that she could contribute to the devastation that their alliance would create.

But no, instead Big Meech turned on them because frickin' NATALIE thought it was a good idea.

Victor is quite cheerful now, because not only does he have another nice chunk of prize money, he and Paul feel better about the Final Four alliance.   They know they need to win HoH this week, though, because if James or Natalie win they are both likely to be targets.

Victor is mixing salsa and some other condiments into his slop.  At least, I think that's slop.  It looks a little like cat food to me.

Victor reports to Nicole that he's been showing America how to mix the slop up to disguise the flavor.

Victor:  I could eat it like this all day.  But only if I have to.

After giving it a quick taste Victor poured more of the sauce in there.  He's been eating a lot of dill pickle spears dipped in sauce, too, which is an old Have Not standby.

Nicole got all huggy with Corey in the kitchen in front of everybody. I've heard Victor say in the past that he hates to be around all of the couples hanging all over each other, because not everybody has a connection like that in the house, but I'm sure he's okay with it tonight.

Victor had asked Corey what it felt like to give someone else $5,000 and Corey said it felt great.  It was obvious that Corey felt great about it, so for the first time this season, I personally felt great about Corey.

The group was having a discussion about travel, and what to eat when you travel, so I'm into that.  Nicole has always wanted to travel abroad, but personally I think she needs to learn more about life outside of Michigan before she jets off somewhere exotic.  Because Nicole is really a very naive and wide-eyed person who didn't even know that Waikiki is in Hawaii.

Paul thinks Nicole would love Amsterdam, because it is really just a small town and once you get outside of all of the Red Light district crap, the landscape is stunning.

(True.  I've been to Amsterdam three times to party, but I've also gone to The Netherlands and Belgium on a work trip and got to drive around in a tiny car around the countryside with a local who worked for my employer.  It was SPECTACULAR.  So many aspects of life there seem more technically-advanced than here in the US, but so many aspects are also so quaint and seem untouched by time.)

Paul says the best desserts he's ever had were in Italy... the gelatos, the tiramisu, etc.

Paul:  And Gusto Pizza in Florence is the best bro.  Ask any exchange student about Gusto Pizza and they'll tell you...there is a line out the door every minute of the day to buy a 5 EU pizza.  And they don't cut it for you, either.  You can tell who the Americans are because they try to cut it instead of just picking it up and folding it.

Victor says he lived in Italy for awhile (??) and he loved the stone-grilled pizzas, mentioning that you get the black char from the oven on your fingers after eating it.  Paul thinks Nicole would love Asia, but says she needs to visit Europe first because Asia is so cheap that she would think "fuck Europe" after visiting.

Nicole wants to visit Paris to go to the bridge with the Lover's Locks on it.  Paul has done that before but says the bridge was falling down from the weight of the locks so they are rebuilding it now.

Paul:  But it's beautiful to visit, and you can go to the Louvre.

Nicole:  What's that?

Paul?  The Louvre?  Seriously?  It's a museum, where the Mona Lisa is, but it's really a small painting.

(How can Nicole never have heard of the Louvre?  Has she ever been to museums in the US?  Does she even like art?  I think she needs to spend a few weeks in NYC before she even thinks about getting a passport.)

Michelle finally dragged ass out of bed and sat on this bench to shave her legs.  They used to have a bathtub in the bathroom, but I think BB5 was the last year for this, probably because BB6 introduced a whole new soundstage with the deluxe HoH bathroom containing a tub.

Nicole is nervous about breaking the tie on the live show.

Corey:  Why?  Just do it.

Corey is happy to be voting this week again.  He's been on the block the last two weeks and is looking forward to this week's live show.

Nicole:  I think I'm just going to say, 'sorry Meech, but I have to evict you', instead of going into a whole big list of reasons.

(Like Corey is going to argue with her about that...need I remind you of the brevity of Corey's nomination and PoV ceremony statements on the double eviction episode?  Production is lucky he just didn't just grunt and point at people with his mouth open.)

Nicole was upset that a small fish got killed by the other fish, and is laying at the bottom of the tank with one eye gouged out.

Nicole:  Are you SERIOUS?

Let's call that little fishy "James". Ha ha.  Just kidding.  No need to gouge out his eyes, just send him packing so he can "win" AFP and book another embarrassing episode on the Bold and the Beautiful.  We all know that is what James wants, anyway.

Meanwhile Natalie is trying to re-integrate herself, and is needling Paul about sharing his "secrets".

Natalie:  Can you please tell me your secret?  Are you related to the Kardashians?  Are you a secret You Tube star?

Paul:  Tell you what.  If I'm evicted, I'll whisper it to you.  But I'm kidding...I don't have a secret.

Natalie:  Do you own The Beard Shop? (?)  Are you really a Disney star?

Paul:  I wish I owned The Beard Shop.  And do I look like a Disney star?

Natalie:  You could be a former Disney star.  Are you a famous musician?

Paul:  I am a musician, but I'm not famous. I just own a clothing store, but we do have a retailer in Manhattan.

Nicole told Corey that if she's evicted before him, she's going to do everything she can to make sure he wins the game.

Nicole:  I want you to go hard in the paint.  And I'll try to flip some votes for you in the know they're gonna be talking crap about us in there.

While they talked, Natalie knocked and came in, explaining that she was looking for her nail file.  She want in the bathroom and rooted around for it, and then left with it.

(SERIOUSLY Natalie?)

Nicole:  She doesn't give a crap about this game. She'd never get my vote in the Final Two.  Her head's just not in the game.  She's been frickin' chilling in here since the first day.

Corey:  Yeah, you can see where her head is at.  That would have been a perfect time for her to talk to us about the vote.

Nicole:  It's frickin' bullcrap.

If I didn't tell you, you might never know that Corey is giving Nicole a scalp massage here.

Where is Nicole?

There she is.  Corey ended up putting her hair in a bun for her and it looked ridiculous, a huge blonde blob just above her forehead.  They had a good laugh about it, though.

Downstairs Natalie was talking about how mean people are on social media.


She said some guy left a comment for her saying she was "flat as cardboard".  There was silent tension after she said that.

Victor:  Why would he say that?  Was the picture just your face?

Natalie hemmed and hawed before admitting that the picture was of her in a bikini when she "had no boobs".

(Personally I think she looked better like that, but I have to wonder if comments like that are the reason why she got the plastic surgery.  We all know how sensitive Natalie is about any sort of remark about her physicality.)

Nicole was on her way to the DR and realized she forgot to put on her earrings.  She called upstairs for Corey to throw them down and he did, leaning over the balcony and dropping each separately.

Nicole caught them, too, which is rather impressive.

Then Corey sat up in the HoH and talked to the live feeders, saying that this was a rough season, with a whole lot of drama and damage control.  Earlier Nicole was telling him that in order for her to win, she had to be able to specify a big move that she made in the game, but was having trouble coming up with it.

Nicole:  I have to have more to say than just aligning with you.  I need more to win.

Corey said that a big move for both of them was getting Natalie and Michelle to nominate Victor and Paul and Nicole agreed, saying that was a great move for them to tell the Jury about.  Corey tells us now that Victor might be lying by saying that he is broke, but Corey believes him and feels good about giving him the money.

Corey:  I think Paul has a lot of money.  I want to go to Final Four with Paul and Vic.  They're good, but I think Nicole and I are better, and we can beat them.

Corey:  I'm ready to sleep in a bed where my legs can stretch out, and I'm ready to eat some good food.  Right now I'd love a turkey sandwich and some cookies and ice cream.

The BBAD cameras immediately show us a pan of cookies fresh from the oven downstairs.

Oh, and Big Meech has joined the living, too, and is slamming sheets of seaweed.  She has literally been in bed most of this week.  I watched her get up from a nap the other day and she already had a piece of fruit in her hand as she threw off the covers, taking a big bite as she walked out of the room.

If Michelle isn't sleeping, odds are good that she's chewing something, whether she is vertical or horizontal.

Natalie is positive that Bronte's math can save our country from the evil-doers.

Paul:  But she lost the math comp...she can save the country but not herself in the game?

Natalie says Bronte does algorithms and all sorts of other mathy things, but a second later doesn't remember the word "algorithm".

James:  Like the space shuttle...she does the math to figure out how many tanks of gas the shuttle needs to make the trip.

Everyone was silent for a second, processing that.  I'm scared now. Seriously.


Jason heard about the rumors of Big Meech pilfering the belongings of the house guests to sell on Ebay.  There is some discussion of whether this is true or not, but Jason Roy has heard the rumors and has something to say about the topic.

Meg already snatched up those items for herself.

Ian Terry is aware of the rumors.  There is a whole thread about it on Reddit, actually.

And Ian feels the same why I do about that damn drone.


  1. OMG...yes!!!! Had to clean out the Dvr.. I was 90% full lol!
    Hope we get love tonight... Those cookies look yum

  2. Evicting Meech may come back to haunt them. Sounds like she's becoming the Moaning Myrtle of the house.

  3. great move to put meech out to she can sit around and listen to paulie for several weeks.

  4. Several outlets are reporting that James and Nicole each got $50 k for coming on the show. In addition, James won 5k in a veto contest a couple of weeks ago.

    1. Whoa! If what you're saying is true could explain how James seems over it...

  5. Michelle has been a TOTAL WASTE of a super fan IMO. She's miserable in so many ways. She actually thinks she's too good to campaign! She isn't anyone I could hang with, negative, messy, sarcastic and just all around a mean person. Threatening to blow up others games has been her only game move, not smart!
    Most players you give the benefit of a doubt, and presume they are probably really cool in real life. What you see is what you get with Meech.
    I lost respect for her before the game started when she said she hated overweight people. Karma and Fruit Loops!

  6. La La La (in my Babe voice) much FRIENDSHIP!!!!! Best night ever!!!

  7. Michelle is not a superfan. A big fan perhaps, a fan of speeches, yes. But not a true superfan. Those are rare. And Natalie should learn to not pay attention to trolls. Maybe someone said something to her, someone she was dating that marked her. I had a bad relationship where the guy said all sorts and some of those things made me change my appearance (not like her though), but sometimes I still feel as though I'm not quite pretty without this or that. Just saying there has to be more to it than just a petty troll troling her about her boobs. A shame really, she looks good. I hope she will some day appreciate herself and how she looks.

  8. Nicole knows the phrase, "Going hard in the paint", but doesn't know what the Louvre is? She is just full of surprises.

    1. Nicole played basketball, and set some Ubly records for three-pointers. Here she is telling Cody and Hayden about it.


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