Saturday, August 15, 2015

The Mad Hatter's Beanie May Be Too Tight. Way, Way Too Tight. #BB17

At this point, I think Vanessa is popping a cap on herself.....people who consider her a master strategist like to think that this is all a plan, carefully calculated, but to me it seems like Vanessa is quickly unraveling, making some very questionable decisions.

For example, we should see on the Sunday night show that during the double eviction, just before the house guests voted to evict Jackie, Vanessa started badgering Meg for safety from nominations and being backdoored in return for her vote.  Meanwhile Meg was crying and everyone knew Meg was in no danger of leaving.  Not a good look for Vanessa.

Vanessa, presumably:  Social game?  What's that?  I can't calculate those percentages.

Even her allies are saying they don't like her now. I guess that could be a way for her to get to the end of the game, since they know the jurors feel the same way, but I think they are too scared of Vanessa to let that happen.

Let's back up for a minute, though.


Most of the house guests were relieved after the live double eviction.  Becky was very happy that John did not use the PoV, because she knows there was a high probability for her to be nominated and evicted.

She didn't want to be seen in the room with John, though, and left as quickly as possible.

(But who is Becky kidding----everyone knows that she has a game relationship with Johnny Mac.)

Meanwhile Steve managed to make Meg, James and Becky believe that his nominations were orchestrated by Vanessa, and they say they aren't angry at him.  (They probably are, but they need his help now, so suddenly Steve is a hot commodity.)

Becky pointed out that Jackie was the only person who would call Vanessa out on her shit, and Steve made a big show of being angry about the situation, throwing his HoH key and breaking it.

(Well, Becky called out Vanessa last week....surely if Vanessa was orchestrating Steve's vote then Becky would have followed Shelli right out of the door on Thursday, but let's don't let logic get in the way of a good story.)

(Also, about Steve and his episodes.....if you haven't already listened to Rob Cesternino's podcast with Eric Stein this week, then you really should do that.  #ClockTower)

When BBAD began later in the evening, the HoH competition was still underway, so we saw some pre-season canned footage of Julie Chen touring the house, which was interesting due to the changes that were made before the show actually started airing.  For example, the sandcastle in the backyard was actually inside the house, and instead of the Have Not room, there was the "Coral bedroom", which had a sea theme.

We also saw pre-season videos of Austin, Vanessa and Steve before the HoH competition ended and the live feed footage began airing.  In his video, Austin made it very clear that he wanted to win Big Brother.  And Vanessa looked calm and focused.  And Steve was Steve.

When the live feeds returned, we saw that Liz won HoH.  The competition featured emojis of former house guests, and they played in some sort of bracket structure.  I later learned that Johnny Mac almost won, but in the end Liz was the winner.

And she and Austin are very happy.

Everyone gathered in the kitchen and tried to be calm.

But then Vanessa and Julia celebrated in the bedroom.  This was a good day at the office, Vanessa says.  Julia assures her she has nothing to worry about this week, and Vanessa starts throwing out advice about how Becky should be the target.

Vanessa:  It's a win for the good guys!

Then Vanessa makes a mistake (as we learn later) by telling Julia that she actually threw the HoH competition.

Julia:  You did?

Vanessa:  Yeah!  It was an easy comp.  But I thought we had a great bracket and wanted you guys to win.

(Later, this will be used against Vanessa, as the Twins believe that Vanessa wanted them to win and do her dirty work.  They are pissed-ah about this.  And the comment that Vanessa made in her live show speech about going to law school came back to haunt her, too.  I think everyone forgot about that, but no one likes lawyers.  Until you need a good one, that is.)

Meanwhile, in another room Becky is ranting to Meg about Vanessa, saying she told everyone that Vanessa should have been voted out last week instead of Shelli.  Becky says she took a swing and missed, and now she will have to pay the price for that.

Becky:  I'm a walking bullseye.

The old Freaks and Geeks alliance (Vanessa, Steve, The Twins and Austin) met in the Hammock Room and came to the decision that John and Becky should be nominated.  Steve wanted to get out of the room as quickly as possible to avoid being seen.  I think this alliance was later named the Scamper Squad, probably because Production can't use "Freaks and Geeks" on the TV show without having to pay a lot of money in damages.

After Steve left the room, Austin and the girls formed yet another alliance, calling it Austin's Angels. This alliance is basically the Sixth Sense without Clay and Shelli.

Did you get all of that?  Well, it gets more complicated.  They also want to make a Brass Tacks alliance that includes Meg and James, and another version with Steve and Johnny Mac instead of Meg and James.

So needless to say the alliance situation is out of control.  But it's not like anyone intends to maintain any of these alliances long-term.  Hell no. This is Big Brother 17, people.

For example, Vanessa barely leaves the room before the AusTwins began to whisper about trying to keep Becky in the house this week so she can go after Vanessa for them.

Later, Liz finally got her HoH room, and started taking meetings. The meetings were also attended by her Fauxmance partner Austin, and her Twin Sister Julia.

(At some point, don't the others need to target some of these people?  I know they all want someone else to take care of the AusTwin problem, because they fear losing three jury votes, but if things keep going on like this, the AusTwins will not be voting on the Jury.  Two of them will be sitting in those Final Two chairs.)

The glazed looks on the Twins' faces in the following pictures can only mean one thing---Becky Burgess is in the room, talking....and talking....and talking.

Becky says a lot of stuff here, but in order to get down to Brass Tacks I will summarize it all for you.  Basically, Basic Becky says that last week, it was her entire group that wanted to target Vanessa, and Becky was just the person who was the HoH.

(No....that's not true.)

Becky says she only got in an alliance with the Goblins after Vanessa told her a bunch of lies about Jackie.   Becky got out some M & M's to tell her story about Vanessa, and even brought up what happened when Jackie and Vanessa both won HoH and the plan was for Jackie to be the overall HoH winner so she could target Austin.

Austin didn't like that, of course.

Then Becky demonstrated how Vanessa turns on her allies when it serves her, and picks up each M & M and eats it in a brilliant fashion.

Becky:  Jason?  He goes home. (crunch crunch)  Clay?  He goes home, too. (crunch crunch)

Becky also says that Vanessa told Steve that Jackie wanted to backdoor him, which would explain his actions during the double eviction.  The AusTwins are stunned by all of this new information about Vanessa, provided by Becky, who hates Vanessa, of course.

Austin:  This is all making me sick.  This is great stuff Becky.  I'm glad you're telling us all of this.

Liz:  Wow. I'm not that smart after all.  That was awesome, Becky.

Austin:  I hope this makes it on the show.

After Becky left the HoH Suite, the AusTwins started getting paranoid about Vanessa.  They don't think they can trust her now, and Austin thinks she only wants to go to the Final Four with him because she thinks he is stupid.  But they don't think they should target her this week, and want to use Becky to go after Vanessa for them.

So if Johnny Mac doesn't win the PoV, things don't look good for him.  And if he does win the PoV, they might put up James or Steve.

But of course, lots of things can happen between the PoV festivities and the Thursday live eviction.

Just ask Shelli Poole.

Later, Vanessa is in the Have Not room with Johnny Mac, and wants to talk some game with him.

(Vanessa, Steve and Johnny Mac are Have Nots---Vanessa is the only one who volunteered, and Johnny is NOT happy about it at all.  He actually asked Liz to please not make him a Have Not and a nominee for eviction.  But she did both, of course.  This week is "Pork Slop" week, with the Have Nots eating pork chops, and maybe even other pork products like bacon and/or ham.)

The Vanessa-Johnny chat started off pleasantly enough, but everything fell apart after the topic of Johnny learning about the 8-person alliance from Vanessa.  I don't really understand all of this, and it is past history so I don't really care, but Johnny is claiming that Vanessa violated Shelli's trust by discussing it with him.

And we know that Vanessa doesn't like anybody questioning her trustworthiness.  She she started getting loud with Johnny Mac, saying he misunderstood, and that she only discussed the 8-person alliance because she knew that Becky had already told him about it.

(I actually think that part is true...)

But Johnny recounts a conversation he overheard between Vanessa, Clay and Shelli in the bathroom.  It sounds like he was eavesdropping, but Vanessa doesn't pick up on that.  She thought she would have a useful conversation with Johnny to give him gave advice and build some bridges, but in typical Vanessa fashion she got sidetracked and started getting aggressive and shrieky.

Johnny was calm, but either held his ground or gave one-syllable sarcastic answers to Vanessa.  She didn't like that, either, and abruptly left the room, scampering to find Steve.  She dragged Steve into the Hammock Room, and told him it was time to be honest with her, and wanted to know who told who about the 8-person alliance.

At that moment Johnny Mac came in the room, drying asking "what is up" and taking a seat.  Steve ended up saying "it was Becky" and then asked if he could leave the room.  He knew that some shit was going down and Steve Moses doesn't have time for that.

Johnny and Vanessa ended up in another battle in there, with neither side giving in, and Vanessa started spinning faster and faster.  They discussed the situation last week when Clay tried to cover for Johnny.  John said he didn't want to make a public spectacle out of the situation, but Vanessa said she tried to ask him privately, but when he didn't respond she had to call him out in front of everyone.

(That whole situation was stupid and pointless, too.)

Vanessa:  There were a lot of ways you could have handled that to keep it from going there.  I think you have something against me.

Johnny: I just don't like it when you cry and scream at people.

Vanessa, visibly shocked by this simple comment:   Well, I don't like it when I cry, either.  As for the other part.....don't won't every have to worry about that again.

And she stormed out of the room, as the feeds went to FISH for the nomination ceremony.  I guess Production was waiting until Vanessa finished, too.  When the feeds came back, Becky and Johnny Mac were both nominated.

And Vanessa went up to the HoH and popped a number of verbal caps on Johnny Mac, saying she is afraid of him now, because he scared her so much during their "argument".  They all agree he is weird, and think he is flipping out.

But privately Liz asked Julia to talk to Johnny Mac about what really happened during his conversation with Vanessa.  They don't trust what Vanessa told them....she's lost her credibility with both of them.

So, not a good hand for Lady Maverick.  She should have folded that one, instead of going all in.

Let's lighten things up, after that hot mess.  Liz got a clay face mask in her HoH basket, and is letting it dry while she does the dishes with Austin and finishes making their dinner.

Austin looked at the memory wall and noted that many of the people who have been evicted had big, bold personalities.

Austin:  I wonder if that has killed the TV show?

That thought clearly hadn't occurred to the Twins.  Julia told Liz to stop facing the camera, so the "TV people" wouldn't see her face.

Austin:  But I'm looking at her face...shouldn't that be enough?  Has it come to this point already, when you don't care?

Julia:  She doesn't care, Austin.

Austin: I know, I actually love that about her.

Austin brings up dessert, and wonders what sort of treats they will have.  He notes that they have so many more options for desserts, now that Shelli is gone.  Liz was upset to hear that it was nearly 9:00 pm.  She didn't say it out loud, but I know she was thinking that BBAD would start at that time, so she wanted to take the mask off.

(So no one would see her, of course.  Ha ha ha.)

She started to peel it off and started shrieking that it hurt so bad-ah, it hurt so bad-ah.

Austin:  Well just wash it off with water then.

Liz:  No-ah. It's not that kind-ah.

Julia came over to assist, and Liz asked her to please just pull it off-ah.

Liz:  I won't be mad-ah...just do it.

Austin wanted to get in on this action, too, and take turns with Julia.

Austin: See, it isn't that bad. It doesn't hurt that bad.

Austin:  You look like Batgirl now.

Liz:  Oh fucking hell-ah!  It hurts so bad-ah!

They said Austin makes the best salads---I think he even made a vinaigrette for it, so that is impressive.

Vanessa sat glumly with them, stabbing at bread and butter pickles quietly.

Liz:  You don't want a pork chop?

Vanessa:  Not now. It seems like a lot of work.

Austin: I'd be all over those pork chops.

Liz:  This salad is so good-ah.  It may be the best yet.  I can't even with it...

Then Liz abruptly stopped eating, and called Julia over to see something on her plate.  They both cracked up and said Austin was done-ah.

What do you think they found?  Look up at the picture above this...wouldn't you think it was a long, kinky, greasy hair?


It wasn't.  It was a sticker from one of the vegetables.  So she moved it over to the side of her plate and kept eating.

In the bathroom, Steve applied his canker sore medicine with a Q-Tip, and slurred out that he "found three more new ones".

Vanessa:  Three more new canker sores?

Steve: Yeth.

Vanessa:  You know there are pills for stop the virus that is causing the sores.  You should get that...are you opposed to taking a pill?

Steve: Yeth.

In the kitchen Steve sauteed a pork chop for himself.  Vanessa declined his offer to cook one for her, too.

I guess his canker sores don't hurt that much, if he can chew and swallow pork.


The AusTwins told Steve their plan to let Becky take out Vanessa, and that they don't believe anything Vanessa says now.  Do you think Steve will tell Vanessa about that?  I think it's in his best interest to help Vanessa take out Becky, but maybe he knows Vanessa will have a few meltdowns if she hears that the AusTwins don't trust her, and Steve does not like to be dragged into drama.  I'll bet those three new canker sores are a direct result of him being pulled into the Hammock room the night before as described above.

Or maybe the new sores are a result of having to share the Have Not room with Vanessa and Steve, who now clearly HATE each other.

But the Twins do plan to ask Vanessa what happened during her HoH reign with Jackie, and the plan to backdoor Austin.  I'm sure Vanessa will just let that go, and forgive Becky for telling the AusTwins about that.

Ha.  Just kidding!  You know Vanessa will pop a damn cap on Becky.  At least one.