Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Clean That Kitchen, Squire! Or Someone Else, Please. #BB17

In the wee hours of the morning, Steve sat and chatted with Clay and Shelli, who are both totally oblivious to the fact that Steve is working with Vanessa.  He even tried to bait them into saying something bad about Vanessa, but they didn't.

They did badmouth Austin, however, vowing to make him a target for whoever stays in the house this week.  As usual, Shelli did most of the talking, but Clay did jump in here and there.  (Clay thinks the vote may be unanimous to evict Shelli, and told Vanessa that he no longer expected her to vote to keep Shelli.)

They also made a tentative agreement for Steve to check in with whoever stays this week, to stay in touch, to share information.  Not an alliance, you see, but an agreement to consider it.  Then Clay and Shelli went to bed.

Steve came outside and told the cameras that was an interesting conversation, and he planned to take them up on that.  Steve thinks he is an expert on the live feed cameras, so he is positive that we are watching him right now, and decides to talk to us.

Steve:  I do want to win HoH this week.  And Becky would be my target, because she's been saying way too much about me to way too many people.

Then Steve saw the cameras move and assumed that he was no longer on the live feeds.

Steve:  That means someone in the house is talking....not good.

(But Steve was wrong.  He was still on the live feeds. I have heard Steve talk crap about Becky a number of times, so I was really thinking that he would vote to keep Jason last week...)

In the morning,James got his HoH camera but no one was awake but him.  He took a picture of every sleeping house guest and finally found someone who was awake---Johnny Mac was in the kitchen and gladly took a tandem selfie with James.

James said that CBS would put the pictures on the website, but said he wasn't upset that people were sleeping.

James:  This is just what we do on Wednesdays.  (Except today is Tuesday, but whatever.)

The ants are back, and are back in a big way.  Becky came in the kitchen and saw the huge mess in the sink and immediately started bitching about the "egg pan".  Then she caught herself sounding bitchy and tried to soften it by saying that the "ants loved the egg pans".

(Yes, the word "egg" disgusts me as much as the object, but it is worse to hear someone say "aig" like Becky does.  Yuck.)

The camera shows us the ants crawling all over the coffee mug.

Becky can try to hide it, but the disgust shows on her face.  Johnny Mac must have noticed all those ants, but didn't say anything about it.

It really is disgusting in there.  The camera pans slowly over the pile of filthy dishes in the sink, showing us the trail of busy ants doing what they do best in the Big Brother house.

This happens every year.  Last year they tried to fix the dirty dish problem by issuing a cup, plate, knife and fork to each house guest, so that everybody had to clean their own.  And they also tried locking all of the extra plates and utensils in the storage room, but of course these initiatives didn't last very long.

Everyone finally got their asses out of bed and started preparing for the pictures.  Julia promised to take some pictures with James if he would promise to erase the one where she was sleeping.  They are dressing for a beach day, so Jackie is going to wear her "Knight-kini" for the occasion.

Jackie was her usual charming self, waiting in line to use the WC.

Vanessa says she was inspired to wear her "Whore-kini" today by Meg, who she claims was flirting with her as she adjusted Vanessa's mic pack.  All in good fun, of course.

Vanessa posed for a picture with Jackie in remembrance of her service as a Squire, but said she no longer had that costume anymore.  BB took it back.

The girls all posed for Julia, who held the camera.  Usually Shelli is the one who likes to manage the picture-taking process, but I guess she's taking this week off from camera duty.

Note that I think Meg is wearing the skirt that she loaned to Giselle a few weeks ago.  You know, the skirt that Jason said would be all stretched out from Giselle's fat donk?

Jackie is not required to wear her cape by the pool, but said she would wear it "for the hell of it".  Liz says that the bikini she is wearing is one she got in her HoH basket.  She likes it, but says it is a little small.

I like the big crab on the back of Liz's beach towel.

Liz had to find and wash a spoon so she could eat her slop this morning.  She says you know it's time to do the dishes, when that happens, because they usually have more spoons than any other kitchen utensil.

Johnny Mac turned on the charm for a picture with The Twins.  Austin said he was rocking out like a pimp.

(I wonder if Austin will target Johnny Mac now, due to this.)

The Twins wanted to take a Whackstreet Boys picture with Johnny Mac, and wanted him to get in the middle.  They had him do the pose that Jason did, standing on their knees, and told James to hurry.

A Twin:  James-ah!  Hurry up-ah!  We're burning-ah!

That California sunshine is hot, hot, hot.

When James got called to the DR, they knew he had to turn in his camera, so the group gathered for one last group shot, sans Clay and Shelli.

There was some confusion about where Becky would fit into the picture. I think she finally went to stand in front, probably blocking Johnny Mac's face.

Later, Clay and Shelli finally got out of bed and dragged around getting breakfast.  The cameras gave us a little tribute to James, a little nod to the drama he created with his bold nomination choices.

Shelli tells Clay to stop staring at her,because it weirds her out.

Clay's Name Has Turned to Mud in the House Right Now. #BB17

Clay is not high on the house guests' internal popularity poll right  now.  First he had a bleepable outburst during Friday's nomination ceremony. Then he had some other sort of "episode" during Monday's PoV ceremony, when James chose not to use his PoV, leaving Clay and Shelli on the block for this week's eviction.

Apparently that "episode" included refusing to even look at James, and making some sort of statement about not wanting to speak to anyone about anything.  Clay seems to think he's in some sort of cheesy romance movie on the Lifetime Network, telling Shelli that "they are a couple" and "at least they have the halfway party on Wednesday".

(In past years, Production has shut down the feeds for a few hours to celebrate the halfway point, playing music for them and providing pizza and beer.  They also get a sheet cake with pictures of the house guests from the memory wall on it.  Sometimes they deface another house guest's name, and in some seasons the house guests peeled off their own picture and tried to save it in the freezer.  As if, right?  As if they are going to carry that outside in a plastic baggie when they sit with Julie Chen?)

The thing is, I always thought that Shelli was kind of using Clay, since she is the smart one in that relationship.  Sure she thinks he's cute and all, and enjoys using him as a Meat Shield in the game, but I thought she was more realistic about the whole relationship.  I thought she actually thought of him as a trivial Boy Toy, and that was one reason she has been kind of holding back.

But after this week, I think she's believing the Showmance hype, making all of those tearful statements about not wanting to be separated from Clay for the rest of the summer.

Shelli's too smart for that.  I think her brain is just scrambled from the isolation and being nominated and she will snap out of it a few minutes after Clay kicks rocks on Thursday.

Let's hope so, anyway.

Julia was looking fly yesterday.  She's a Have Not with her sister and Austin, and they have been trying to figure out when their Have Not week will be over.  Austin asked the DR for the exact information and they said "they're looking into it".

Julia:  That is bullshit!  You know they have a fucking schedule back there!

(But you know that if they really have a Halfway Party this week, the Have Nots will get to enjoy it for a few hours.)

Julia sat and talked with Johnny Mac for a long time.  I think there may be a mutual attraction there, at least on a friendly basis. She asked him a lot of questions about his life and schooling.  Here are a few details:

*  JM went to Penn State for his undergrad education.
*  He majored in Finance, but has a "financial guy" to take care of that stuff now for him.
*  Julia says that proves how smart he is and he should be able to manage his own finances if he really wanted to.
*  JM majored in electrical engineering for "like, two weeks" before deciding he didn't like any of that.
*  His major was undecided for a few semesters after that.  He chose dentistry because he knew he really wanted to make money, so he "worked backwards from there".
*  For dental school, he applied to Temple, Pitt, UNC and Nova.  Julia has a friend who goes to Nova and was excited about this since Nova is in the Ft. Lauderdale-area.
*  JM says out of state tuition is astronomical, but he didn't expect to get into UNC anyway since they only accept 80 new students each year and 75 of those are instate from North Carolina.
*  Nova is a private school and he says the tuition would have been the same either way.
*  Julia was shocked to hear that JM didn't get accepted to Nova.

(I was, too.  Nova was known as a school for rich fuck-ups who couldn't get into a big law school.  It was assumed that if you could write the checks, you could get your law degree there.  But I don't know anything about the medical programs, though.)

(I met a Nova law student one time in a bar (CJ's Oyster Bar) and dated him long-distance for a few months.  He has a super-distinctive name so I just googled him and learned that he owns his own law firm now.  And he still looks good.  Great, actually.  So I guess I messed that up, huh?  When I met him my friends and I were about to go to another bar, and he wanted to come with me.  I asked him to tell me a joke, and he told me a really good one so I let him tag along. I wish him well and thank him for the adoration.)

*  Sorry. Back to our story.  JM told Julia that when he visited Nova, he saw the class of dental students "working on mannequins" and it looked like most of the students were super-hot chicks, so he wasn't surprised to get rejected since he didn't fit that profile.

*  JM has been paying $3,000 a month on his student loans, but has backed off on that amount a little recently.
*  JM has been living with his parents to save money, but will probably get a studio apartment this fall, estimating the monthly cost of $600-800 per month.  (Wow. Scranton is cheap.)
*  Julia thinks JM's parents will miss him now that his brother is out of the house, too.
*  JM's family lives "in the middle of nowhere" and has about an acre of woods around their house.

They discussed a lot of dental issues.  Johnny described his process for removing someone's teeth to prepare for dentures.  He likes to pull from left to right and will take them all out in one session if that is what the patient wants.  Julia thinks that would be so tough on a person, but JM says the patients are usually so happy to rid themselves of bad breath that they don't care.

Julia:  Ewww! And you have to smell all of that horrible stuff!

Johnny shrugged.

Julia discussed her own dental issues again, and said her periodontist wants to remove the little piece of flesh that connects her lip and jaw.  Johnny said that is the "frenulum", or something like that, and agrees that it can pull your teeth in a weird way.

Then Julia and Liz joined Austin in the hammock to vent about how their reputations have been smeared by Clay and Shelli. More information about what the two of them said to James keeps coming out now, and trickling through the grapevine.

(I refuse to type a showmance name for Clay and Shelli.  I don't like any of the names so I won't do it.)

Liz reports that she went into the kitchen to get some Tums off the kitchen counter and Clay was standing there looking at her.

Liz:  I am still livid.  I fucking hate him so I gave him the death stare.  I'm a lot madder at him then Shelli, because at least she tried to apologize.  I just have more animosity for him.

She says that Shelli told James that The Twins didn't even really like Austin, so if James put Austin on the block Liz and Julia wouldn't even vote to keep him.

Liz: I told Shelli that in confidence, so I'm so pissed that she told James!

(She told Shelli that she didn't really like Austin, and now Austin is sitting right there while she talks about it....)

Austin knows that Shelli also told James about his Judas character, but he has a plan to work around that.

Austin:  I just told him that I told Jace and Clay about my Judas wrestling character, but we couldn't discuss it because the name was copyrighted.  And now Clay is trying to make it some big evil plot and sold me out with a bunch of lies about it.  I think Shelli will say next week after Clay is gone that Clay made that up.

The Twins really want to vote Clay out, but don't want to go against James' wishes.

Austin:  Just go up there and tell him that being around Clay makes you both feel uncomfortable, and he'll understand.

Austin says Clay still hasn't even looked him in the eye, much less talked to him.

Austin:  He's acting like I did something wrong...and he's the one who went up there and tried to get me evicted!  He thinks I should have gone up there and cried or something to get him off the block.  I'm not about to sell us out just to save his damn showmance!

They discussed how Johnny Mac is very upset about all of this, and how much he loves Clay.  They also have a hard time understanding why Johnny voted for Jeff to stay.

Austin:  Johnny Mac is a buffoon!

They all laugh at the use of that word.

Liz:  This whole house is full of buffoons, except for us and Vanessa.

Julia:  And after all of this, Shelli won't even give Clay a kiss!

They all laugh.

Julia:  Maybe he'll finally get a kiss on his way out of the door.  Or maybe she'll give him a kiss in Ireland!

Austin:  That's it?  That's all he'll get?  They are way too PG for me.

Now they discuss again the "stare of death" that Liz gave Clay as she reached for the bottle of Tums.  Austin wanted her to demonstrate it for him.

Liz:  Don't fuck with me Clay..you'll see the wrath-ah!

The girls are surprised that Austin is handling all of this with such a cool head.

Austin: I have to act that way!  If I don't then the people upstairs will think everything Shelli and Clay told him is true!  I have to act like it was all lies.

Julia:  Yeah, so we need to act a little better, too. We can't be walking around staring him down like he told on us, too.

Liz:  Clay is just too good for us....too good to do the dishes....too good to apologize to anybody....too good to talk to anybody.

Austin:  He's young.

Liz:  I'm young.  This is why we don't date guys our age.

(ha ha ha)

Austin and Liz did some Jedi drilling for the HoH competition, going over each day and the competitions in order.

In the bathroom, Clay does some mumbling with Vanessa as she paints her nails.  She actually had to ask him to repeat himself several times because his words were intelligible.  And Vanessa wanted to clarify EVERY word in this conversation.

Clay:  Do you think she has any prayer of staying this week?

Vanessa told Clay that she will honor her promise she made to vote Clay out, so it won't be unanimous.

Clay  You don't need to put yourself at risk by doing that.


(Sorry to shout, but this is Big News.)

The Twins breezed in into the bathroom and put on a good show of acknowledging Vanessa while shunning Clay.  Julia had something in her eye and Liz blew it out for her.  They kept up their funny patter while they primped and brushed their hair for their DR session.  (They got called in to do a joint DR session, which is rare enough to be exciting.)

Vanessa, to Clay:  The two of them are hilarious together.

Clay:  ***crickets***

In fact, Clay even left the room, so Vanessa told Liz the news about Clay trying to get votes now for Shelli to get evicted unanimously.  They laughed about what a shock it will be to Clay when his ass gets voted out on Thursday.

(Get your popcorn ready, folks.)

So look for this DR session, when they are wearing these clothes.  I'm sure they will be bitching up a storm about Clay Honeycutt.  The DR likes to get you when you are hot, so you will spit fire in there.

This picture sucks, but I include it here because apparently the "Slollipops" include frozen fudge bars, too.

In this picture Vanessa is standing there telling Austin how shocked she is about Clay's change of heart, and change of vote.  Austin says Clay has been staring him down every time they pass by each other, and he thinks he's going to get a "roundhouse" or something.

(Like, a real fight?  Wow....)

I'll just step back and let you look at the next few pictures.  No comments needed.

Meanwhile, Shelli is outside crowing to Clay about how all of the cameras were focused on the two of them while they napped today.

Shelli:  Becky told me that two cameras were probably showing everyone talk about us, and the other two cameras just showed us sleeping!

(Um, what the fuck would Becky know about what the live feed cameras are doing?  Do they talk about that on Tinder?)