Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Clean Up on Camera 2 - I Hope We Don't Betray the Fact That We're Betrayers. #BB17

Sometimes I type a word and then just sit and think about how weird the word is. Like "betray". That word is popping out to me, and now I'm not sure I even know what it means anymore.    But I'll leave it up there in the title, and put it on my list to ponder about later.

After the PoV ceremony, the house felt like a quiet storm was brewing.  The house guests either suddenly felt like they didn't know what was going on, after all, or they felt like they needed to act like they didn't know what was going on.

The first feeling is more brutal than the second, but the second feeling is a lot harder to pull off, particularly without a lot of practice and professional training.

I guess the exception is Vanessa.  She didn't have to pretend about anything.  She just took meeting after meeting in the HoH room, explaining her choices this week as best she could.  People went in there often angry and confused, but they seemed calmer when they left, in most cases.  Vanessa is great at talking, and presenting a series of facts that create doubt without actually naming names.

Jackie was pissed yesterday after Jason was put on the block.  She was mad that Vanessa didn't include her in things, and she immediately suspected that Clay and Shelli were involved.  Later in the afternoon, both Clay and Shelli were in the HoH room and Jackie came up for a chat.  Jackie brought up again that she thought both Clay and Shelli were aware of the plan to keep Austin.

Clay: We support Vanessa.

(In front of her you do.)

It was a pleasant enough conversation, but at one point Jackie said she hoped she could talk to Vanessa later.

Shelli:  Would you like us to leave now so you can talk?

Jackie:  That would be great.

Tension crackled in the air as Clay and Shelli got up to leave the room.  For the first time in this game, I think they are worried.  I will say that Shelli needs to work on her Poker Face.  Because she doesn't really have one right now.

Shelli and Clay retreated to the Have Not room, which is their home this week.  Austin and Liz came in the room, and the four of them were having a little conversation about the day's events.  Liz was being very hateful about Jason, because Austin has told everyone how he approached Jason to talk about his feelings "one-on-one like a man" and how Jason told lies and betrayed him.

(No, no, no.  That is not what happened.)

Suddenly Austin had a realization---you could just see it on his face.  I'm sure they all heard and saw the cameras in the Have Not room spinning and pointing, to capture the action, and Austin thought, here we are....Clelli and Liztin.....two showmances having a meeting and stepped over and started assertively massaging Liz's neck.

It was obvious Liz was not in the mood.

Liz, shrugging him off:  Stop....stop.

Austin forgot that they are supposed to be having a big conversation about the game, leaned over and tried to get in Liz's face.

Austin:  What.....are you mad?

Liz ignored him, not even looking over to acknowledge him, continuing the conversation.

(ha ha ha...I do predict more of this in the weeks to come....see #2 on my list of things to look forward to.)

Shelli is really eating her feelings this week with that Slopcorn.  It's actually a delightful variety of flavored popcorns, from a variety of upscale brands. Like Skinny Girl, etc. The whole house is enjoying the Slopcorn....not just the three Have Nots.

In fact, Production may have trouble using footage from many of their conversations on the CBS episodes due to all of the pervasive crunching noises.

And let me say something about Production's audio crew....they really need to clean house in that department and hire some new sound professionals.  Why?  Oh, for just a few reasons:

*  The debacle on that live show where we, the CBS viewers, could not hear the sound in the house as everyone rushed round to learn about the BB takeover. (Remember that discarded concept?)
*  Julie Chen not being able to hear, either. (Julie: I don't have production in my ear.)
*  The house guests later said they couldn't hear, either, so they just heard a tired guy's voice tell them to "go into the living room and get ready for a takeover".
*  All of the G.D. subtitles on the CBS show....this is not a foreign film.....why can't we hear what the hell they are saying?  Aren't there microphones EVERYWHERE, including those that are STRAPPED TO THEIR BODIES?
*  The Whackstreet Boys debacle on last week's live show....Julie asked them to do their last performance, but there was NO MUSIC over the loudspeakers for the trio to dance to.  They kept waiting for the beat to start, but it never did.  Julie Chen had to scold them, saying "let's see your moves!"  As a professional dancer, Jackie later said that was her worst nightmare....having a show start with no music.

So, isn't that enough?  Allison Grodner needs to make some heads roll around there.  I'm still angry about the sound going out during BB14 when Willie Hantz called the "Coaches Revolt" meeting to order.  We had to listen to the damn BB theme music blare for 8 minutes while the "newbies" all screamed at each other.

Meg's sadness is a fog that just won't lift.  She feels stupid, she says, that everyone seemed to know about Jason going on the block except her.

Meg:  I feel like a fool.

Shelli:  You should talk to Vanessa...

(Uh...not a great idea Shelli...because without directly saying it, Vanessa is able to convey the fact that both Shelli and Clay were behind that idea.  So even though it is technically Vanessa's fault, Clay and Shelli are coming off as the villains here, for lying about it.)

The house guests must hate us after hearing that the live feeders "voted" to give them a fucking hula hoop.

But James and Steve are so bored that they tried to work it out.  James rolled the fucking hula hoop across the backyard while Steve tried to dive through it while it was in motion.  He came pretty close, too.

Liz conducted a scintillating discussion about how she's trying to build her stamina back home regarding being able to sit in a sauna.  She went from one minute to about 30 minutes.

Austin:  That's a lot of time, actually.

Proving of course, that men pretend to be interested in female conversations in order to get laid.

Actual conversation:

Clay: Do you think we did enough damage control?

Shelli:  Yeah...for now.

(Why are the two of you cuddled up like that though?  Don't you know that you are BOTH IN BIG TROUBLE?)

Because the rest of the cast was sitting just feet away from this romantic display.

Jackie was sitting right there, stretching out next to Jason in preparation for a workout.

Jackie:  I need to get out there and kick ass, so I can kick ass!

Jason:  You need to win this week...you know that don't you?  Because he is after you now.

(Austin.  But probably Clay, too.)

Jackie later told some interesting stories about the men she works with in Vegas.

Jackie:  They all say they want a tall, straight-acting gay guy.

Jason:  Why?  I hate that!

(i.e. He hates that they don't want a gay-acting gay guy like him.)

Jason:  What percentage of guys you work with are straight?

Jackie, immediately:  Only one.  And he's questionable.

They all laughed.

Jason:  There are so few that you don't even have a whole percentage...just one guy!

Jackie:  Yeah, but he massages all of the other guys...

The cameras immediately changed to another view, where presumably no slander was taking place.

And here is a rare glimpse of Jason's jewels.  Those chains and pins that you see him wear on the collars of his shirts are earrings.  It's a creative look, actually.

When Jason was upset yesterday, Vanessa told him that "in the real world, she was in a position to help him", and said she planned to do it.  Some of the live feeders thought that meant giving him money.

I guess she could do that, but she can also introduce him to some people.  Maybe help him get a job that would be meaningful to him. He's got style, and he's funny.  I could see him turning Vegas upside down, couldn't you?

Vanessa might even have access to Nicki Manaj, Jason's idol.  Jackie might be able to help him meet Nicki, too.  The professional dancer world runs deep....

Wil Heuser Presents: The Saga Episode 5 #BB17

OK...this is the episode I've been waiting for.  It is fantastic, and features the following:

*  Julie Chen is obviously a Pinterest fan.  Because she's crafty now.
*  Shelli takes some direct hits here....and that "is real".  So real that Julie Chen has to put a pin in it.
*  The Whackstreet Boys are back, all right.  (And when you watch this, think of how meta it it all is, for a former boy bander like Wil to pretend to be three different BB house guests who are pretending to be boy banders pretending to be the Backstreet Boys.)
*  Audrey finally makes her first real appearance on The Saga, and probably her last as well.
*  Audrey clutches her brown bag (of pills).
*  Audrey commits several heinous crimes.

I predict Audrey will be very proud of this.  It's a good one.


I Feel Like We All Need a Pep Talk Now..... #BB17

As BB SuperFans, we've had a few rough weeks, and the last few days have been brutal.  So my intent here is to cheer us all up with a little pep talk.


Here is a brief update about one of our favorite things, forbidden talk about Production.

This morning on the East Coast, Jason and James are still out there sitting on the West Coast backyard couches, shooting the breeze about a variety of forbidden topics, as follows:

*  They discussed the "old lady" that they both saw during the casting process. I've heard Jason say in the past that he saw James and Da'Vonne on the "first spaceship" (i.e. the first group of casting semi-finalists), so this "old lady" must have been an original applicant.

Jason:  She had fluffy hair, like your mama would have....

James:  She was probably about 41. I wonder why she didn't make it.

Jason:  I'd say she was closer to 52.  And I wonder why any of us did make it.

*  James says that he loved it when the "hotties" came by his hotel room to measure him for costumes and such.  After BB warned him to stop talking about Production, James said "how would they know what I'm talking about?"

Jason: Oh, they know exactly what you're talking about.

*  James says his favorite moment was when "R.K." came by his hotel room.  (Robyn Kass!!!!)

Jason:  Yeah, she's my boo.

James:  She smelled so good...that perfume....I think she must have sprayed it on right before she came in my room.

Jason:  Ha...we both love her but for different reasons.

Production warned them to stop talking about this topic.

Jason  She's probably sitting back there right now, saying "hit that damn button!".  She'll be there on Thursday....I'll see her on Thursday.

*  The guy who cast Jason (probably a member of Robyn's staff), said Jason was the second gay guy in a the last two seasons that he cast for the show.

Jason:  He said, you've got to make it farther than Frankie did last year....but Frankie made it to five...so no, He didn't make it farther than Frankie.  Sorry.

*  James said he can't wait to get his hands on his phone.

James:  I've got so many girls to text and hook up with...

Jason:  It's like, I'm out of jail, bitches!  But I'm kind of used to this mic pac, putting it in my pocket like my phone, hanging it off the back of my pants...

James:  But no one ever calls me on it.

Jason:  No, no one ever calls.  But I can't wait to talk to my girls at home...those bitches are going to GO OFF about all of this.

*  James said that when BB Production came to his home to "shoot his package", they filmed him shooting skeet.  (True.)

Jason:  And you said that "they" shot some skeet too?

James:  Yeah.  It was their first time doing that.  And then "they" went to What-a-Burger, and it was their first time for that.  It was in Texas.

Jason:  I've never even heard of What-a-Burger...we don't have that at home.

James:  Well, you haven't lived then..

(I don't eat meat anymore, but I visited the What-a-Burger near FSU many times on the way home from the bars.  It was open 24 hours, and the food is made fresh, but you had to wait what seemed like hours for your food.  There were always a lot of drunk college kids and drifters in there at that hour, too, because a really seedy dive bar that was popular with the locals was about a block away.  Sometimes there were drunken fights in the parking lot, but most people just wanted to grab their damn bag of burgers and go home to pass out.)


Now that we've all talked about Production, let's go over a list of things we can still look forward to in this game.

1.  Jason might not actually be evicted.

I know things may look dreary now, but he only needs five votes to stay.  I feel like he has James and Meg, and maybe Steve.  I know Steve sees Jason as a rival, but I have heard him say to himself a number of times that he wanted Becky out of the game.  So he might vote for Jason to stay.

And Clay and Shelli are getting super-shady, so they very well might cast votes for Jason to stay.  And that would be five right there, not counting any hinky votes from Judas.  And you JUST KNOW that Production would rather keep Jason in the game then Becky....so they will ask plenty of questions in the DR to get people thinking before they cast their vote.

And Thursday is at least a month away, so there is still plenty of hope for Jason.

2.  The Battle for Liz lies directly ahead.

Someone is going home on Thursday night, but we all know that both of The Twins will be unleashed and will participate in the the next HoH competition.  But the real competition will be for Liz....because there is nothing stronger than a bond between sisters, particularly twin sisters.

And we are already aware that Julia LOATHES Austin.  She is not going to stand for Liz laying around with the Big Hairy Dummy draped all over her.  Julia may try to pretend that she's cool with him, but we've seen Julia try to fake being bubbly before, and that was certainly a stretch.

We also know that Liz is not really into Austin, so I have to believe that Austin will soon be racked with heartbreak over Liz like, not liking him.

Austin, potentially:  I'm like, racked with heartbreak because Liz, like, doesn't like me.

And then Anger will set in....and maybe the Thirst for Revenge.  Against Julia, of course.  And I don't think Thickums is going to stand for her sister being treated like that.

I'll bet we'll get to see Thickums turn into Cruella like that (three snaps).

3.  The game is about to get real for Barbie and Ken.

Shelli and Clay have been playing both sides, and they are about to pay the price for that.  I've heard them say to each other that they're playing a great game, and that "they are fooling everyone".

But this whole switch from Austin as the target to Jason is putting them directly in the middle of the radar.  Right after the PoV Ceremony, the two of them acted like they didn't know anything about it.

(But of course, they know ALL about it.)

And Clay went directly to Meg and assured her he was as surprised to see Jason on the block as she was.  And Jackie started interrogating the two of them right in the middle of the backyard, making them very uncomfortable.  Noticeably uncomfortable.

(And both Meg and Jackie now know that Clay and Shelli lied...and are not happy about that.)

Vanessa knows that Clay and Shelli are denying culpability.  And Liz notices it, too.  Even Austin has been saying he hopes Clay and Shelli don't throw Vanessa under the bus.

And Liz is going to totally take Vanessa's side in this, since Vanessa was the only house guest to ask Julia directly about being A Twin, and then work to save The Twins.

4.  When Shelli takes her gloves off, she is going to BLOW.

Shelli has already warned us that she has a hot temper, and when she gets mad, we'd better watch out.  I've seen that a few times....like when she yelled at Audrey to "get the fuck out of here", or yesterday when she went off on Clay for not following orders.

Now, maybe that was slop-induced, but when someone eff's with Clay, you can see the storm cloud roll in on Shelli's face.

And people are certainly going to eff with Clay....in fact, I think this will happen very soon.

Shelli is going to give us all a show.  A reality show.  I'm not saying that her usual sweet persona is fake, I'm just saying that she has an opposing side, too.

And I expect that side to be at least 63% more entertaining for the SuperFans.

5.  Judas may show up soon.  For real.

Now, we've all been disappointed by Austin before.  Many, many, many, many times.

But I'm thinking things might change soon...for one thing, the Battle for Liz lies directly ahead (see #2 above).  But also, I've heard Austin make the following statements to himself and the cameras, and also to Liz and Vanessa.

*  "Judas is back...Judas is back...Judas is back. He's not going anywhere."
*  "I'm tired of this goddamned sing-a-long in here...I'm ready to fight."
*  "Fuck that bitch...she's next." (about Jackie)
*  "Fuck that liar....I'm just going to sit and stare at him." (about Jason)
*  "If someone comes at you, they're going to get me instead...I'll go right for them" (to Vanessa)

So let's do this, Judas.  If we'e going to be stuck together for a few more weeks, let's make Judas official.  Go ahead and be the heel.  I dare you.

6.  Vanessa can't play for HoH next week.

Ya'll know I love Vanessa Rousso.  But damn.  I need a break. This was exhausting.

7.  Sweater weather will be here in a few weeks.

I walked my dog at 6:30 am today, and was sweating my butt off out there.  The heat and humidity are stifling.  There is an air quality warning today, because it is do difficult to breathe out there.

But fall is coming and will be here before we know it.  Austin is already wearing a shirt at least 37% more around the BB house.

So that is cause for celebration.

Now let's all cheer up and carry on.

Thank you.