Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Wil Heuser Presents: The Saga Episode 4 #BB17

Wil has released the 4th episode of The Saga and it's ironic that most people who are fans of Big Brother feel this is one of the best seasons in years, as far as casting and drama goes.  But Wil doesn't like it, and it shows.  He's really letting them have it.

I have to say I have a hard time recognizing some of the house guests in the video....maybe it's because Wil can't find anything distinctive about them...which might make this a hard job for him this year.

However I was able to pick out:

*  Austin (who has a starring yet unflattering role)
*  The Twins
*  Jeff, who seems to have developed a strong case of rosacea
*  Meg
*  Jason, whose voice and posture were quite distinctive
*  Johnny Mac, if he was "the muppet"--if he wasn't than scratch him from this list

I think that's it....the 90's dancers from the HoH competition are in here, too, and I found that confusing until I realized we weren't supposed to recognize them.

Or were we?

Some of the House Guests Play Games, But a Few are Still Playing the Game. #BB17

Things have been so relaxed in the house since Audrey took to her Dentist Chair that it's kind of easy to forget that we're playing a game here.

Last night Jason went in the bedroom to see about Meg, and she woke up from a sound sleep confused and startled.  Jason couldn't wait to tell her that The Twins switched out again, and Thickums (Liz) just made her debut as a Whackstreet Boy.

Meg just realized that she had funny news to tell Jason.

Meg: Oh...remember the date that Austin had with one of them?  (Yes....we do Meg.) Well, I walked in on Austin telling Cruella about it..he was saying that they had a date and how nice it was...

Jason:  Oh, so he was telling her about the date he had with her....Austin totally knows about all of this.

Meg: Yes, and he's helping her and telling her stuff.

Jason:  This one didn't even know about the chicken nuggets! She wanted to eat some but I had to tell her they're gone!  And I asked her about getting naked so I could wash all of our whites, and she was like, 'oh...that's right'.

They had a good laugh about all of this, and had a little discussion about when The Twins will both be in the game.  It sounds like they would rather keep that option open, since they think that will keep hope alive for either of them that they would get back in the game if evicted before the Twin Twist is exposed.

Meg:  And if they're both here...that will be the next two targets...so that's good.

Jason looks up and sees the cameras on him.

Jason:  Oh great.  Ever since you said that (about The Twins) the cameras have been on Jason as he scratches his ass!

They have figured out the timing of the twin switches, since it seems that each week each Twin gets to be around for one of the competitions before tagging out. While they were talking, Steve came in and did what Steve does---interrupt and stand around awkwardly until leaving the room, except this time he left and came right back before leaving again.

Meg, whispering: He's gonna be next, I think...

Meg was hungry for breakfast (even though it is well after 9:00 pm) and wants to make an egg and veggie sausage sandwich on toast.  She told everyone about the great nap she just took and the dream she had.

Meg:  It was so weird....I dreamed that I was in the DR and they forgot about me.  That doorway on the other side was open and there was a hallway down there.  I could hear voices like it was an office..


James studies the memory wall---they have all noticed that after Audrey is gone, Steve will be the only house guest still there in the far left column.  They openly "joke" about Steve going next, and James says he'll just say that in his nomination speech---"Steve, as the only one still here from the left column, I'm putting you on the block."

It's funny.

Jackie has now had a bowl of slop for dinner, and several pickles and is ready for angel food cake.  She found the one that is freshest and pulled off a big piece.

Meg did, too, and said it was delicious.

(If you don't know, Angel Food Cake is a light and spongy cake made primarily of about a dozen egg whites, lots of sugar, a little flour and vanilla and maybe a squeeze of lemon.  After it bakes you hang it upside down to cool so it doesn't fall.  I tried making one once, and something obviously went wrong because it fell apart and big chunks flew out of the pan after I left it to cool. The cake was ugly, but had good flavor.  We put chocolate sauce on it as a drunk snack.)

Here is a close up of Johnny Mac's chin strap.  He must make the same thing over and over for dinner because when he asked them what they thought he would have, both Jackie and Meg guessed a pizza with chicken and bacon on it, with ranch dressing.

Why even have a pizza if you're going to do that to it?

But Johnny Mac is a Have Not right now, so of course he is having Slop and Gravy.

James quizzed Jackie about how she's feeling at this point in the Have Not week, and concluded she is just about to hit the wall with that "Blah" feeling.

Meg's egg sandwich was very crunchy.

Something is obviously wrong with this picture, once you know about it.  (Half of one twin, half of the other.)

Liz has a funny conversation with Jackie about once the "Left Column Project" is complete, they can start with Audrey and have a "Row Project" to get James out and go right across from there.

Jackie restocked their fridge with more pickles and olives for the Have Nots.  Johnny Mac says he's kind of over the gravy, so he's going to experiment with adding chopped pickles to the slop to make a slop salad.

OK...we're still playing Big Brother here.

Steve had a quick chat with Vanessa in the bedroom, both whispering since they knew Audrey was on the other side of the wall.

Vanessa:  I think I like talking to you in the morning, when no one else is up.  There's too much heat right now after what Audrey said.  This is the one thing --our thing---that no one knows about.

Steve:  But how would Audrey know?

Vanessa:  She caught us talking that time...and got suspicious.  Now people are talking about it, and looking for it, so we have to be really careful.

Vanessa:  Tell me, is anybody coming for me?  Have you heard anything?

Steve:  No.  Nothing.

Vanessa:  Not one thing?  Nobody?

Steve:  Well, Jackie and Becky were annoyed last week about Jeff.  They wanted you to take out Audrey instead of him.  And there is a rumor going around that it was a set up that you planned to target Jeff.

(Oh no...not that mess again.  Vanessa needs to let that die down and stop arguing about it.)

(And that info is a far cry from Steve's first response of "no, nothing", right?)

Vanessa heard someone in the Have Not room, and nipped this conversation right in the bud, leaving quickly.

Here's a bonus for some of you:  a close up of Clay Honeycutt's ass.

Your welcome.

They decided to practice the Whackstreet Boy dance routine, even though they don't have to.  It's that kind of punishment..everybody wishes they had to do it.

Note Vanessa working out in the lower left of the picture.  She stopped to watch the dancing but kept up her workout.

Vanessa wants to win.  She's not taking a break to dance.

The dance practice is really funny.  Jason and Liz take the lead on coaching people, barking direction from the sidelines and demonstrating certain moves.

Jason:  It's pose, pose, bodyroll, oh yeah, turn.

They count to seven at the beginning, snapping their heads up on the seventh count and then doing the elbow arm motions.  Jason points out several times that when you're in a pose, you don't say "oh yeah", but nod instead.

Somehow it starts to make sense, this boy band line dancing.  It's just a series of poses and nods to the beat, with a few connecting moves.

Johnny Mac stands on the sidelines, eating a bowl of slop, and talks about who needs timing work.

James:  OK everybody...from the top!

Ha ha ha.  James needs to go get his aluminum foil headset for this practice session.  Note that earlier Jason told everybody the DR asked about the "backstage dancer practicing", so they know it will probably appear on the CBS show.

Liz:  Clay-ah!  That was almost perfect!  Becky.....you need some work Becky.

They all laugh.

After they run through it one more time, they say that Clay and Meg were perfect.  Jason said into his mic that they need to add two more people to the group, so they need some more all-white clothes.

Jason, excited:  I'll be the only brunette in the group!

Life Went On Last Night in the #BB17 House....Dances Were Danced...Pickles Were Eaten...

Some house guests laughed....some house guests danced, and some house guests curled into a ball and cried.  But life went on after the PoV ceremony that was not attended by the person nominated for eviction.

If you don't know about Audrey being MIA yesterday, you can learn about that here and here..  But with no new concrete information to go on, we must move on.


Two short announcements:

1.  I don't know what is going on with the live feeds, but yesterday it became clear they are app. 24 minutes delayed....so they aren't really live right now.  I read on Jokers that someone contacted CBS technical support and they are working on the problem.

I do know things have been wacky with the Flashback feature for a few days now.  I have some potentially blockbuster information to report, but need pictures to really punch up my story.  I have not been able to Flashback to the time I need to go to though...whenever I try I am bounced back to midnight, where I have now heard Johnny Mac tell the same damn story about free Alcoa venue tickets at least 12 times.

But I will keep trying, though.  And don't worry...it's not a life and death story.  It's just some shallow little information that I know we will all love.  Because we're all shallow like that.

And I don't think the Flashback delay is a conspiracy.  Twenty-four minutes is just too random for that.  Why not 30 minutes?  Or 13 minutes?  Whatever.

2.  In the last week, readers from 49 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES around this world have visited this website.  I would like to welcome all of you, even if at least 10% of those visitors probably took a wrong turn somewhere, looking for information that I am not allowed to post here.

You know, advertiser standards and all...

So welcome, and feel free to share your Big Brother story with us in the comments section.. I can't imagine how some of my moronic musings translate to your languages, so I apologize if I offend.


As of this morning, Audrey is still in the BB house, and was laying in her Dentist's Chair.  Whenever the cameras show her, though, it is always clear that she is not sleeping.

She's scratching her face, arranging herself, trying to get comfortable.   It's too bad she's wearing that shirt though...it is one of the ugliest shirts I've ever seen.  I hope she rallies and gets all dolled up so that we can remember her looking fierce, and not like the Unibomber's cousin who works at the Fashion Bug.

About last night....Liz finally switched out with Julia.  I heard her tell Austin that Audrey's little episode really "messed her up, because they were supposed to switch around 1:00 pm".  I think they actually switched closer to 7:00 or 8:00 pm.

And I was wrong about the length of the Whackstreet Boys punishment....I thought it was a 24 hour deal, but I think they have to at least wear the clothes through Saturday.  By this point though, I think they really enjoy doing the performances as long as they aren't forced to get out of bed in the middle of the night.

The Whackstreet Boys had to perform last night at the beginning of the BBAD show, and it was Liz's first time. I could tell there was tension in the air, and I could also tell Jason knew that Thickums was back on the scene. He actually joked yesterday that "Liz" would be checking into Promises in Malibu to treat her "exhaustion" from their world tour.

As they started to line up in the backyard, Liz went to the wrong side and Jason grabbed her arm and said "you're over here, hon".

So funny.  But Liz got through it and seemed elated it was over.  Many of the other house guests have been trying to learn the dance and do it on the sidelines.  Jackie has been the Stage Mom barking orders from the sidelines.

This "punishment" is a treat for everyone and I love it.  So much better than a chum dunk.

Austin says that when Johnny Mac does his little spin at the end of the routine, it gets him every time.

Oh and the Backstreet Boys are loving it, too.  That is pretty damn cool and I hope Julie Chen mentions this to them on Thursday night.

They want to add some new moves at the end to keep things fresh.  Of course they are all complaining about not having any booze in there, but Jason tells them that with all of the crap going down in the house right now, Production just can't take the risk. He went through all of the various fights over the years that were alcohol-related, particularly during BB6.

Jason:  There was Ivette and Kaysar....Beau and Janelle.....Cappy and Michael..when that happened one fight had just ended, and another started....they had to separate them.

Steve:  But those weren't alcohol-related, were they?

Jason: Oh, watch it back and you'll see they were slurring.

James:  But they have some beefcake back there to step in and stop things, don't they?

Jason:  I'm sure they do.

Becky:  Let's find out!  (ha ha)

(After the whole Willie Hantz expulsion episode, I asked Evel Dick on Twitter about the backstage security, and he claimed they had none.  None at all.  Even though Evel Dick loves to rag on Production, I have to believe him on this one.)

Jason also discussed Chima Simone and all of the trouble she caused in the BB11 house, causing CBS to tape the live eviction episode earlier in the day due to fears of Chima's actions when Jeff used the Coup d'Etat.  Jason got all of the details correct, as well as the tone of Chima's threats.

Love love love Jason and am so glad he made it safely through this week.

Becky came outside with the pickle jar and reported that she took some Have Not food into the Dentist's Office for Audrey.

Becky:  I took a little Slop with Gravy, a pickle, and some Angel Food Cake and she said thank you. If it's still there after a while I might just take her some pizza....

Everyone:  Yeah, why not, at this point...

(Breaking Have Not rules to eat real food usually results in a penalty nomination or vote, but that doesn't matter right now for Audrey.  Although, if she starts eating all of the chicken nuggets again, she might have more trouble on her hands....maybe an Emergency Chicken Nugget House Meeting.)

Austin later told Liz that he helped carry the tray of food for Becky, and they left it at the door, like they were "leaving food for a monster".

Becky and Jackie just love those dill pickles.  Personally that cloudy green water turns my stomach, but maybe if I was a Have Not I would eat one.  Jackie fished one out that looked like someone had already taken a bite of it.  No one would cop to that, though.

Jackie:  Oh well...I'll just eat it and pretend like it's deformed or something.

The Whackstreet Boys got a second set of costumes, but the girls note that Liz's new jacket is cream-colored, rather than white.  Jackie thinks she should wear the old jacket, and keep this one for herself.

Liz, admiring herself:  Yeah...the other one is already kind of messed up, so I'll just wear that one around here.

The outfits are from Old Navy.  Jason wishes the entire house got the 90's costumes to wear, rather than just the competition players, because the printed fabrics were just so crazy.

Jason:  Every girl looked like they were on Saved By The Bell, and every guy looked like Screech.

Jason was in the casting process for BB15, and apparently came really close to making the cast.

Jason:  But then during casting this year after all of that BB15 mess I said to them, 'bullet dodged' and they kind of winked at  me and said 'right'.  They knew it was a big fat mess.

Becky:  But BB16 was a huge comeback, though.

Jason:  Yeah, but when I started watching BB15 though I had a bad attitude..and when I saw Andy....I was like, WHAT, YOU LIKED THIS ANDY BETTER THAN ME?  But then when all of that other stuff happened, I was like, okay, he can have it.

Jason:  But if Becky wins this season, I'll kill myself!  I'll be like, THAT BITCH WON? ALL SHE DID WAS WASH AND FOLD TOWELS!

Everyone kind of almost laughed, but not quite. (No one knows who's going to win, yet.)

Becky:  Give me some credit...I did win an HoH... and a BoB...

Steve, missing at least 14 social cues:  Becky the only reason why you won that is because I had trouble standing on the rotating beam.

***even the crickets were quiet***

Becky, in a tight voice:  Oh that's great.  I get no credit from you guys for anything.

Steve, missing another 8 social cues:  That's not true, Becky...you get lots of credit for the cleaning and sweeping you do.

(I think Steve just bought a nomination from Becky, if the opportunity arises.  Go, Becky go.)

Meanwhile inside, Austin continues to review the game with Liz to bring her up to date on what she missed, and what is upcoming.

Liz:  But what if they put us (i.e. The Twins) up on the block together?

Austin:  I know...I thought about that...or they might put you and me up there together...and then we can fight together...that'd be cool..

Liz ponders that fantasy idea for a moment, with Jace looking on from the Memory Wall, smiling.

Liz has every right to be fearful for her safety in the game, and probably personal safety as well.  I think Austin needs to win HoH on Thursday if he wants Liz to be his Pretend Girlfriend for another week....just a guess.


Jace is a real pleasure so far on Twitter. He says he wasn't even a Twitter user before being evicted from BB17, and is really enjoying interacting with the fans and former houseguests from all seasons.

He's appreciative.  And uses good punctuation, too.

But now he may be hearing a little too much from the fans, if you know what I mean.

Jace has his doubts now, that's for sure.

(Jace, if you're reading this, Vanessa told Austin that you needed to leave in order for him to survive in the game.  This was at the point when you were raising hell and causing trouble on your way out of the door.  I think all Austin did is agree with her, and see she was right after you left.  His name was getting thrown out left and right at that time, but that has calmed down ever since he started taking advice from Vanessa.  So, beware what some of the Twitter fans tell you....they might be just trying to rile you up.)

(However, Austin is creepy as fuck now about Liz.  So that part is true.)