Thursday, July 9, 2015

Vanessa, to Austin: GET IN THE GAME! (you big dummy) #BB17

Vanessa needed to talk to Austin this morning and was just overflowing with news for him.  First, Julia (nee Cruella) went up to the HoH this morning to talk to Shelli about the Twin Twist about working together.  Clay was there too, of course.  (If you don't know about Julia coming out to Vanessa, read this first, before you continue.  Or else you'll be lost.)

Then Julia went down to the bathroom where Vanessa was waiting, and whispered that it went really well.

Vanessa:  Can you get Austin for me?  I haven't talked to him for four days.

So Julia slinked back into the bedroom and whispered to Austin that Vanessa needed him.

The second he walked in the bathroom, Vanessa got started.

Vanessa:  What I'm gonna tell you...I'm about to drop some bombs on you...I've been trying to talk to you for three days now.

Austin:  Huh?  Three days?

Vanessa, imitating herself:  Austin, we need to talk!  Austin, we need to talk!

Austin, probably needing coffee now:  OK.  What's happening?

Vanessa:  Have you heard the rumors about Liz?

Austin:  What rumors?  (quick FISH)

Vanessa:  She's a twin.

Austin:  Did she tell you that?  Are you sure?

Vanessa:  100%. She told me herself.  I've been trying to talk to you....the bottom line is that she needs protection.  The whole house fucking knows and didn't want to tell you because you would tell her we knew.  But everyone knows...everyone.

Austin:  Why does it matter that she's a twin?

(Did this fucktard ever watch BB5?)

Vanessa:  Because her twin comes in in Week #5 if she makes it that far...did you watch season five?

Austin:  Yeah.  But is that really happening?

Vanessa:  Oh, it's really happening.  And you can not trust Jeff...there is so much happening I don't know where to start.

Austin:  Why?  And why don't I know all of this?

Vanessa:   Because you don't fucking make time for me!

(I want to state that this might be Vanessa's Best Hair Day ever in the BB house.)

Vanessa:  Audrey is fucking done.  You hear me?  She tried to flip the house on you, me and Meg.

(Oh, in case you don't know Day has talked to Audrey in the wee hours and is trying to work some sort of deal to stay....not sure if it will happen or not...probably not now that Austin and Liz are against Day now, after all of this.)

Austin:  Yeah, I knew that.  Meg told me.

Vanessa:  Last night, the fight between Audrey and Day...all staged....all staged.

(I knew it!  I knew it!  Well...sort of.)

Vanessa thinks that Audrey has the Last Laugh (no) and rehashes all of the recent drama about the vote to save Day....she thinks that Audrey is trying to save Day and flip the house.

(Not likely now....)

Vanessa went into the WC and Austin paces, stretching and sighing "what?" and "oh my god".  The second Vanessa flushes and comes out, Austin is ready to go again.  Vanessa, no shorty, is very small next to the hulking giant that is Austin. Her brain, however, knows no bounds next to Austin, who has obviously crashed headfirst into the wrestling ropes too many times.  And also,... the drugs...the copious drugs.  I mean, allegedly....

Austin:  Why can't we trust Jeff?

Vanessa:  Because he's gunning for you! 200%..wait 'til I tell you what he did!

Someone is walking in the kitchen, so they stop for a moment.  Austin is obviously reeling from this information about Jeff...because, Jeff was like, his bro dude.

Austin, confused:  But....why?

('re playing BB Austin, in case you forgot.)

Vanessa: The main thing is don't trust Audrey....Jeff is the new Audrey, by the the new alliance is just me, you, Clay, Shelli.....Liz and her twin.

Austin stopped....and stared:  Oh, man...

Vanessa:  We need to protect Liz.  And Shelli and Clay are going to help, because everyone knows.  They figured it out by her birthmark.

Austin:  What birthmark?

Vanessa:  She has a birthmark on her back...that's Julia.

Austin:  She's been switching already?

Vanessa:  You don't even know..GET IN THE GAME! They have been switching in and out for three weeks!

Austin:  Stop...

It's too much for Austin...they both start cracking up at how crazy it all is.

Austin, practically wheezing with laughter:  I'm so bad.

Vanessa:  How are you not freaking out?  You've been sleeping with two girls!

Austin:  Shit...what the....

Vanessa:  Everybody knows it!  Everybody!  They've all been congregating outside the diary room, waiting for them to swtich.

(Not Audrey, I don't think, which is freaking HILARIOUS.)

Austin:  Well, I guess I'm off the radar!

Vanessa:  You have to trust me...I've had your back this whole have to listen and trust....and when I tell you that we need to make conversations happen, YOU NEED TO DO IT!

Austin:  OK...OK.

Vanessa:  Do not tell Jeff anything...I wanted to tell you this last night...we figured it out last night.  He's been pulling strings like a puppet master..and he's coming after you..100%...he's keeping you close in case you win HoH.  Clay and Shelli will explain everything to you...but he's keeping you close on purpose.

Austin:  So I guess he's who I need to take out next week?  But what about James?

To her credit, Vanessa did not laugh at this.  (Like, as if, she was probably thinking.)

Vanessa: James is still a target, but the bottom line is that I got her to tell me about it, after trying to warn her against voting for Day, that Day was starting rumors about her.  She spent like 30 minutes crying in the DR yesterday, because she thinks everyone knows...I told her we would protect her, and now Shelli and Clay.

Vanessa: of them is thinner than the other...

Austin:  I noticed that, but I thought she lost weight from slop!  I guess I'm not very observant! When does the other one come back?

Vanessa:  I don't know.  But she gets 30 minutes notice, and when that happens, we need to distract Jason, because Day will be gone by then, and Jason and Day and Jeff are the ones most tuned in to looking for it.  Shelli knows all the details about the three moles, and the birthmark and we're all going to help her.  She may be a lost cause, but we're going to try it.  If she comes in in Week #6, that's another vote for us and that's huge. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

(ha ha ha)

Austin: So they want to get her out first, and we don't want that.

Vanessa:  Yes.

Vanessa told him that Day needs to go now, and that she's known about it from Day #5, when the first switch happened.  She noticed the weight switch, and started telling everyone three days ago.

Vanessa:  You, me, Liz and Julia will be Final Four.  And we'll work with Shelli and Clay too.  They can't stand Jeff...can't stand him. And if you know what Audrey was up to this week...she literally tried to frame us...

Austin:  Yeah.

Vanessa says that they need to act like Audrey's best friend, up until she's safely on the block to go, because Audrey will blow them up with everything she has.

Vanessa:  Can you imagine if both of the twins are in here?  It's going to be hysterical..

She wants him to get close to Becky and Jackie, to keep an eye on them.  And that he CAN'T talk to The Twin about this, because everyone is watching her 24/7 now.

Vanessa:  If the second twin doesn't come into this game, they will send someone else in there that's already left.  AND WE CAN'T HAVE THAT!

Austin is grieving about Jeff and says he doesn't know what to do.

Vanessa:  You can talk to Shelli and Clay about that.  I have no other Final you understand that?  I'm going all the way with you, do you understand?

The Twins are supposed to switch today, she says.  (on the live show?)  Austin and Vanessa are making a signal for each other that means "we need to talk RIGHT NOW" but I didn't get to see it.  Sorry...but I'm sure we will find out later.


  1. The hand signal is the surfer "hang loose"sign .

  2. It would be nice to have the Flashback on this? Thanks for the post also!

    1. It started around 9:35 am. It's fun to watch, to see the contrast between some one who's so clearly on it and someone who is so clearly out of it.

  3. Austin is Fezzik to Vanessa's Vizzini.


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