Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Scenes From Last Night - This is Why We Can't Have Nice Booze. #BB17

I only included the following picture because you can see Clay Honeycutt through the sliding glass door.  He's in the backyard juggling and there is discussion in the house about how Clay is already very good at it.

But then we see this....and we know that the booze has been delivered.  So there are two bottles of wine and six cans of beer for eight drinkers.  Plus, Shelli had a few beers stashed upstairs in her HoH that she was saving for a night like tonight.

(16 original HG - 3 evicted - 4 Have Nots - 1 Steve = 8, in case you'd like me to show my work)

I can hear Jason and Vanessa outside, jiggling the door handle to get inside.  Apparently Jason was walking by and heard the clink of the bottles hitting the counter and knew what was up.  Jason Roy knows how to find the boys AND the booze.

(Mommie Dearest reference, of course.)

As you might guess, there was screaming and much confusion as they realized what was in store and started divvying it up.  All of a sudden everyone was so interested and excited about everything.  There was no sipping, either.  It was like a race to finish and pour more.

I wished I had timed the drinking from start to finish, but it couldn't have taken longer than 10 or 15 minutes for all of the drinking to end.

Meg and Jason split the whole bottle of white wine, and both were feeling fine.

Jason:  Jason is feeling fine.

They begged Austin to describe his room to Shelli, since she missed it last time.  (The Palace of Wisdom he described earlier.)  Shelli was suitably horrified.

And Liz looks frightened, doesn't she?

Meg was probably the loudest, and all sorts of plans were made for the HG to visit her in New York.  She promised to take Shelli to all of the best gay bars and shows.  Jason says he will take the train down there if he has to.

Meg says all of her gay roommates will just have to sleep somewhere else during the visit.  I heard her murmur later to Shelli that she was worried they would hit on Clay because of the way he looks, and now they've seen him cook, too, on the live feeds.

Drunken plans were also made to visit Vanessa and Jackie in Las Vegas.  Meg loves to get out of NYC during the winter, and says January would be a great time to make the trip out there, and she will have no problems getting friends to come with her.

Vanessa:  Remember that you are going on the Gronk Party cruise in February.

Meg:  Oh, that doesn't matter.  I take lots of vacations....I'll go on the cruise, too.

Vanessa, admittedly buzzed:  Maybe we can go, too.  How much can the tickets be?

Meg admits the thought of the cruise actually terrifies her.  (I'll bet.)  She says her Gay Husband would be so irritated to go, and imitates him saying "Who is Gronk?" and its funny.

Vanessa said that Mel would be happy at home, watching Vanessa drink since she rarely does.


Glug glug glug.  Clink.

I saw Becky having an earnest-looking conversation with Steve in the backyard so I flipped over to see what was going on.

Get This:  Becky is going on and on about how UPSET she was watching Christine and Cody on BB16.  I mean, she says she could HARDLY WATCH the show, it bothered her so much.

(Guess who needs a beer?)

Steve:  Well, it's a good thing you didn't start with that season, then.

(Becky was recruited for BB from TINDER and had never watched it before.)

OK.  Enough of that.  Shelli described her jewelry business and gave the details for the fans, but told us it is closed for the summer but she will be happy to take our orders, even special orders when she's back home.

They wanted more booze, and sent Clay in to ask for it.  But he was told no.

Of course it was time for a Whackstreet Boys performance.


(Just so you know, the entire "performance" is about 10 seconds long.  Seriously.)

John is a Have Not and is the only member of the group who is not buzzed right now.  When he came in the room to perform, he said he just got out of the shower and put his pants on while he was still wet.  The HG agreed that Johnny Mac is becoming more and more like a real boy bander every day.

They gave an example of him hearing the girls yelling for him to walk over to them and how he just closed the door and walked away.

(ha ha ha)

Meg also said she's been waiting to see Johnny Mac get mad about something, even these stupid performances, but he always keeps his cool.

John:  I love doing this!

Jason and Liz decided to split a beer and were all happy about it, whispering about being band mates and all.  They were having fun until Austin came over and towered over them, draining his own beer.

Then she had to go sit outside with Austin in the hammock.  I don't know how Liz does this.  I guess she knows that he will be Julia's problem on Thursday after the live show.

And speaking of problems, there is Audrey shrouded in her blanket, tapping lightly on the storage room door.  While she does this, there is IMMENSE DRUNKEN NOISE just across the room in the kitchen.  They didn't even acknowledge she was there, which is probably best.

They made her wait there for a minute or so, and then buzzed her in.  I think she went in there to get her suitcase so she could pack her things up.  I heard Austin say today that she already put everything in there and put it back in storage for Production to take it away.

(Both nominees have to pack, technically.)

Meg was all turnt up and started talking about the DR guys.  She said her favorite production guy was Heath, who stands on the roof during the outdoor competitions.  She wants to go in there and ask Heath for more booze, but Jason says Heath has "a real job" and doesn't work that late.

(Heath Luman is the guy who designs the competitions.  In other seasons they referred to him as "Heathbar Crunch" so as not to get in trouble saying his name.)

Someone said Heath is the "come get your costumes guy", too.  Meg says she "can't wait" to meet Heath after the season is over.

(I'm sure he can't wait either, Meg.)

Jason also asked Meg if her boobs are real (they are) and then confirmed the same with Vanessa before reporting all of the other girls have "breast augs".

Jason:  Did you hear me?  I just yelled across the back yard to Liz, asking for a price check on Breast Augs, and she said $4,500.  Jackie must be pissed about that...

People teased Clay and Shelli about their relationship.  Clay claimed it was all strategy and they don't really like each other, but of course he is kidding.  Most of the time they look pretty platonic, so getting buzzed is probably not the best thing for their game, because it's obvious that the dig each other right now.

But really, the two of them are very cute.

They went to sit outside on a chair that Shelli claims not to have used before.  Liz and Austin are still in the hammock across the yard and they called out Hello to each other.

Shelli, whispering:  Do you think she really likes him?

Clay:  I don't know...he might be growing on her..

***OK...HERE WE GO***

Shelli:  Oh, I love Jason. I wish we could roll with him right to the end.

Clay:  Yeah.  Here's the thing.  I think we could go to Meg and Jason, and tell them we're serious, that we want to go to the end as a Final Four.

Shelli:  If we weren't here right now, we would be making out!  Because I am DYING right now!

Clay pounding on his leg:  I KNOW...I KNOW....OH MY GOD.

Shelli:  I'm serious...I am dying right now!  I'm just watching you talk and I'm like, huh?

Clay  Shelli!  Stop that!  Big Brother, tell Shelli to STOP THAT!  Oh my gosh.  You ever have those's like one of those days times sixteen.

Shelli:  It's just one of those moments...

Clay:  Oh my god. I would rock your world!

Shelli cackles with delight over this.  (Really, who wouldn't?)

Clay:  You might really like me might be obsessed!

Shelli:  I might be obsessed already.

Clay wants to get back to game conversation.  Shelli repeats back what he said about approaching Meg and Jason.  Clay kind of practices what they will say, that they want to be "ride or die" and help each other get to the end.

Shelli:  When should we have this conversation?

Clay:  Well, not right now, that's for sure.  Let's start scheming tomorrow.  Stop staring at my lips right now.

(These two can't actually think they would take two well-liked people like Jason and Meg to the end of the game, do they? Because I know Jason and Meg are too smart to really want to go with them....)

Meanwhile, across the yard.....

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