Saturday, July 18, 2015

House Guest Relations - Unfurl, Swirl, and Try Not to Hurl #BB17

So much drama in the BB house after the Battle of the Block competition.  You know by now that James and Jackie won, dethroning Liz from the HoH throne and leaving Johnny Mac and Jason on the block.  And that looks bad for Jason Roy, the much beloved supermarket employee from Massachusetts.

After things settled down, it soon became clear that Audrey is creating another bad situation for herself, and that James has some information he'd like to share with the HoH Office of Shelli and Clay.   Or Shlay, or Chelli, or whatever the name is.  I'll just stick with Shelli and Clay for now.

Clay was in the refrigerator, rooting around, and muttering with James who is standing nearby.  James reports that Audrey is in the Hammock Room and he doesn't want her to see him running his mouth.  So Clay goes over to the Hammock Room and found a way to close the door so James could get up the stairs to the HoH suite without being detected.

Once inside, he started telling Shelli about the negative things Audrey has been saying about her and Clay.  James comes across as very credible, and matter-of-fact, saying that Audrey has been saying the two of them are unreliable, and that he is taking a personal risk by sharing this info.

In the middle of the conversation, Vanessa comes in the room, announcing she's about to enjoy eating some cottage cheese and Triscuits.  

Shelli:  Yum.

(Wouldn't you need something sweet with that though?  Like maybe a little piece of fruit on top?  Or some jam?)

Vanessa immediately senses that she's walked in on something.  She can't even get the top of the cottage cheese container off (see below) without looking like she smells a big rat, or some other foul scent.

James isn't sophisticated enough to carry off a fake conversation, but the fact that Shelli doesn't really try to cover it probably lets Vanessa know that Shelli doesn't want to let James know how tight their alliance is.

Clay came up there at some point to provide cover but there was still plenty of tension in the air.

Vanessa is already losing her appetite over this. You can tell.

I heard Vanessa evaluating different house guests a few weeks ago, and about Clay she said that he had the killer instinct to want to win, and also the physical capabilities to win competitions.  That made him someone she would  want to align with, but also someone to fear in the game.

James says he "still has honey in his ear" and went into the HoH bathroom to wash his hands or something.  You can hear Vanessa muttering to Shelli while he's in there, trying to get a feel for what is going on right now.

James came out and said he's going to sit by the chess board until he's sure Audrey can't see him go back down the stairs.  Clay accompanies him, like a bouncer or security guard.

As soon as they were alone, Shelli wanted to start talking, but Vanessa stopped her, saying that James could hear every word if he's sitting at the chess board.  They launched into a conversation about Audrey, saying that she is losing it already and is trying to throw paranoia around every room she's in.

For example, she told Shelli how angry Johnny Mac is about being nominated every week and that he is vowing to go after Shelli because of it.

Vanessa:  You know this is all about her not wanting you to take Johnny off the block and put her up.  That's all this is about, her trying to scare you to keep the nominations the same.

Shelli tells her that Audrey is throwing shade at Vanessa, too, but Vanessa is not surprised by this.

Vanessa:  I knew the minute you told her to get out of the HoH room while I was still in here, it was Game On for her...I saw that coming a mile away.

(Shelli lost her shit here.)

Then Shelli brought up the other "A" word...Austin.  Does Vanessa think Austin is trustworthy right now? And doesn't it seem like he is saying a lot of things to save his own ass?

Vanessa really leaned in to talk about this, to be sure no one at the chess board could hear her.  She said quite a few things, including:

*  Austin's head isn't in the game right now.
*  Austin is too into the "girl thing" right now, and said he already misses Liz, who switched out with Julia earlier in the day.
*  Austin's loyalties are shifting, based on his girl issues.
*  Austin told her he "didn't even want to be there anymore" when they had their little spat over him throwing last week's PoV to Johnny Mac.
*  Clearly Austin's emotions are starting to rule his decisions.

But she kind of ends up saying his vote is very important for them right now, as is making sure they have the strength of The Twins behind them in the coming weeks.  Austin's flighty issues need to be monitored, but she doesn't feel they are malicious or intentional.

So of course Austin shows up in the HoH room, looking all mopey and sad.  He reports that people are doing a lot of talking around him, and that Meg and Jackie were having a conversation in the bathroom and suddenly stopped talking when he walked in.

Vanessa:  Hmmm...Meg and Jackie?  Interesting.....

Austin now says "Oh Mylanta" on the hour, every hour.  And that is now evolving to "Oh Mylantis" which is even more annoying.

Considering that Mylanta is a brand name, I'm surprised CBS has even allowed us to see Jason say this on the prime time show...he said "Oh Mylanta" on the second premiere night, as he toured the house.

OK.  So Austin leaves and Shelli wonders if Vanessa would like to dip her Triscuits in Shelli's jar of Nutella.

Vanessa:  No...

Shelli:  It's delicious.

Vanessa:  No.  I don't even want my taste buds to remember there are flavors like Nutella....I'd go in a downward spiral after that.

The cameras show us what Audrey has been up to in the Hammock Room.  Apparently she's been lying there, probably crying, covered in that mint green blankie with the white pom poms decorating the edge.  She stands up and peers at her face, probably checking for Tear Damage.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Meg is riding shotgun as James eats.

It sounds like James had to drag a plastic blow-up doll named Alice up some stairs or something during the BoB competition.

I think Alice was in Chains.  Literally.  James said he had to get her in a choke hold to get the job done.

("Man in the Box" and "Would" were two of the best songs of the 90's.  I'm chair dancing just thinking about them.)

Meg asks Jason if he's eaten. He had half a bagel, he reports.

Jason:  I want a cigarette though.

The backyard is still locked down after the BoB, and likely won't be open until the PoV, where Jason will need to fight for his life in this game.  During BB8, Production actually built a little partition out there so Evel Dick could smoke when they were building competition sets in the backyard.

But Jason is a long, long way from the addicted mess that was Evel Dick.  Thank god.


  1. about calling them "Shel-lay"? "Johlli" and "Clulia" would be more entertaining, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

    Everyone I have confessed this to thinks it's weird, but my favorite thing to eat with Triscuits is just sour cream. It brings out the flavor of the wheat when most other toppings cover it up. It also nicely cuts the dryness of the crackers, (especially important with the reduced fat ones). It's strange, but I love it.

    I remember "Would?" as the hands down best moment at Lollapalooza '93. What a nostalgia bomb!

  2. I just "performed" Would in my desk chair during that live feed break. My dog thinks I am insane---she totally missed the 90's.

    I hear you about the sour cream, but try a little salsa mixed in with it. I use the fat-free sour cream with some hot salsa and it really lifts it up and lights up that Triscuit, big time.


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