Friday, June 26, 2015

Who Will Run the Table This Summer? Audrey or Vanessa? #BB17

Audrey is always right there in the middle of intense game conversations.  Earlier, she had a one-on-one with Clay about Jeff, telling him that Jeff backstabbed him in some conversation, and saying that maybe Jeff needs to go this week.

But then when Jeff woke up this morning, Audrey was right there, laying next to Shelli and starting with the low talking already.  You know, the low shit-talking. She says there is some weird shit going on in the house.

Apparently James, who is the HoH, slept in the Have Not room last night.  (Is that true?)  She wonders if James has to "be close to his boy so bad".  (Austin?)

Then Audrey starts a conversation about Vanessa, noting that Vanessa likes to pull people up to the chess board to size them up and see how they think.  I think she's trying to throw shade on Vanessa, but she also notes that Vanessa is a lot like her.

Shelli explained that Vanessa had a very down moment last night.  They were all taking turns doing shout outs to the cameras, and Vanessa got very emotional during her shout out to her girlfriend, and after that she just seemed to shut down.

Shelli: And she's a Have Not, so she's not eating, and being in that Have Not room is the worst place for her right now.

Audrey:  I'm going to go talk to her.  But first I want to check on my breakfast.

Audrey had somehow conned Clay into making her breakfast, and she went into the kitchen and told him she had a psychic feeling that her food was ready.

Clay:  Would you stop talking about psychic stuff?

(Yes, Audrey, please stop with all of the astrology talk, and dream analysis.  I've only been on the live feeds for a few hours now, but it's going to be a long summer if you can't find something else to talk about.)

Clay delivered the sandwiches and Audrey dug right into hers.  I could hear the English muffin crunch when she bit into it.

Audrey:  It's like a McMuffin.

Shelli said there is no way she can eat that today.  She says she saw her stomach in the mirror and today is the day she's going to get her diet back on track.  I could be wrong, but I think Clay said there is peanut butter and honey on the sandwich, along with egg whites.

Sometimes I pause the live feeds while I type.  Well, more than sometimes.  I try not to look at this whole live feed update process as a race, but a quest for more complete information.  Anyhoo, something went wrong when I tried to un-pause, and my feeds skipped way ahead so that I am live right now. (The live feeds are very slow this morning....making my whole system crawl to a snail-like chug.)

Jason is telling everyone that his passions are Big Brother, Nicky Minaj, and fashion, and was telling the girls that he knows Nicky isn't going to hire him once all of this is over, so I think he was hoping to get a job in one of the other two areas.

Jason:  One thing's for sure, I'm not working in the market for minimum wage my whole life.  If they even let me come back!  They might be, that damn guy, he's not coming back here.

One of the girls noted that he said he is quiet at work, and that the grocery store won't be the same when he's gone.

Jason:  I'm quiet when I work with the guys at night (stocking shelves) but it's different during the daytime.

I skipped ahead with the feeds again (unintentionally) and now Vanessa comes into the kitchen and has a moment alone with Clay at the stove and tells him she's feeling better today, but last night was rough on her.  Clay admitted he had a bad day yesterday, too, and  had a few moments when he thought that it would be fine if he just went home now. (Not threatening to quit though, in my opinion.)

Vanessa:  I feel you.  I was the same way.

Did you expect Clay to be the cook in the house?  Well, he's been at the stove all morning.  I don't know what this is, but Clay is cooking it and it is sizzling and smoking.  It looks gross but I'll bet it smells good if you eat meat.  (I'm assuming that is what is in there, right?)  (And check out how filthy the left side of the stove is....ugh.)

I like this picture because you can see people gathering in the bathroom, on that bench-thing, from the view from the stove.  And those blue wavy stripes in the living room were a good idea, in retrospect.

Vanessa and Clay make plans to sit in the hammock later.  Shelli comes in to get more coffee and asks Vanessa if she's okay.

Vanessa:  I'm all right.  I've had better 24-hour periods, but I'm all right.

There are a few moments of clattering kitchen sounds, with far off voices mixed in, and then Shelli reaches out to help, speaking quietly in an attempt to keep things private.

Shelli:  What's going on?  Do you miss your girl?

Vanessa:  No.  I mean, of course I miss her, but to play this game you kind of have to put a wall around your heart, but I put that wall down for a minute sucked, you know?

Vanessa's voice is a little shaky, like when you are sad and someone is nice to you and it's hard not to start bawling.  As a tribute, the BB cameramen follow her face in a close-up,  The camera crew has probably been watching Vanessa sit at a poker table for years, looking much like this, but never sounding like this.  (I wonder if Vanessa left her baseball caps out of the BB game, to help keep from getting recognized?)

She makes an obvious effort to put some cheerfulness into her voice.

Vanessa:  But it's nice to see people try to help, like this guy (Jason walked in.) even acting human. You really made me feel really did.

Jason:  I just did what I could, girl.

Shelli:  I had no idea you were upset.  I'm sorry I didn't talk to you.

Vanessa:  It's okay.

(I swear Vanessa is so damn glamorous right now.  Like a freaking movie star.)

Vanessa rubs her palms together under the counter where we can't see them (such a poker move) and lowers her voice down to a whisper, while we hear Audrey's voice bellowing down the hallway.

Vanessa, in a tiny voice:  I just....had a moment.

Shelli:  I understand.  I know.

Jason:  We're all gonna have days like that.  You know?

Vanessa:  Yeah.  Yeah.

Jackie arrived on the scene and Clay came back in, telling her he made a breakfast sandwich for her, too. (Maybe Clay learned to cook on the chuck wagon or something back in Texas.)

Meanwhile Vanessa's voice is full of sorrow as she talks with Shelli, saying there is a big dilemma in the game right you choose to be a good human being or a good game player?  She says there is a big divide between the two.

Vanessa:  I realized that....I'm happy with the way I've been playing.  I mean, I haven't done anything to feel bad about, but it's more the human dynamics of this game.  Like watching people get their feelings hurt, and remembering things about high school.  Like, some parts of high school are terrible.....made me like really sad.

Jason is all ears, watching and listening.

Vanessa:  It's just hard to watch...the reason is that I was not a cool kid in high school, but I figured it out over the last 12 years, you know?  I got less socially awkward, and I figured it out, but having that perspective....(brief live feed interruption).

When the feeds return, she says that people were coming in the room to talk to her last night about the game, and didn't know she was upset.  And it could have been a bad game move for them to show empathy, and when you're torn between being a good human being and being a good game player, it's an extremely tough dilemma.

Vanessa:  It's so much easier to watch than to be in it!  That's for damn sure.

Vanessa: I came out of it at this point, but I got to the point last night for a few seconds where I realized I'm sad all the time in here.   And I don't think any amount of money is worth that.  And feeling like that....and knowing that we don't know how long we have on this earth...and I thought, this must be what it feels like to be depressed.

Shelli says "oh, honey" and Clay rubs her back and I see Vanessa struggling to hold it together.

Vanessa:  No, it's good.  I came out of it. And thank god some people showed their good side, too.  And you think, okay it's not all terrible.

Shelli says that they all feel the same way, and Jason admits they are all terrible. (ha ha ha)  Then Clay starts with the back rubbing again and Vanessa's voice trembles as she speaks.

Vanessa:  Since I'm not really in the game right now, I'm just observing, so I have more time for reflection maybe?  And I can try to think steps down the line, but then I think, fuck, this is week one and I can't imagine what it will be like having to make those decisions. . I don't judge anyone for anything they've done, but....

Clay:  You won't compromise yourself....

Vanessa:  It's not even that, it's just hard to see that side of humanity.

Jason relates to that, saying he had the same type of problems in middle school and high school, and now that he has the life skills to deal with it it's still hard.

Vanessa:  But when you see people, you know, for their own end... and then you see them turn around and bash that person,  and I've seen that so many times in the last two's just people can be so fake, so fake nice to someone, and then turn around and five seconds later just use them...and it's so obvious...I don't know if people see how obvious it is..and at the end of the day, I know everyone at that table is a good person, but to be able to represent that world with that in's like scary, and that's what life is..

Vanessa says that a big part of her being here this summer is to grow emotionally. In the outside world, she leans on her supporters.

Vanessa:  But in here, you don't have that.  So you kind of have to...lean in....and I'm not good at that.  So I toughened myself up last night and it's good for me to do that.  You shouldn't rely on other people so much.  That's not good.

Everyone makes supportive comments and Vanessa says she wishes it was just her, but most of the problem was watching other people's behavior last night and what they were up to.

Vanessa:  I wish I had just gone to bed.  But I'm happy to be here, and I'm not a quitter at all.  I want to be here.

(Ruh roh.  This was one of my concerns with Vanessa, that she would get a harsh taste of living the BB life and want to go home to her posh life immediately.  If you don't watch the live feeds, then you don't see what the game is really like.  I heard Vanessa tell Jace last night that she's watched YouTube footage of the live feeds, but never the real thing, directly.)

Vanessa:  I did write some good lyrics last night.  If the live feeders saw my lips moving, I was singing to myself.

Jason:  Well, don't say them out loud in here!  Don't let BB steal your art!


Do you think Vanessa is talking about Audrey?

Or about someone else being mean to Steve?  Because clearly people are starting to gang up and be mean to Steve....

From what I've seen just in the last few hours, Audrey is playing WAY too hard, having too many conversations and then checking the information she just heard with the very person she was just talking about.  It's so obvious.  If Audrey is such a mastermind, why is she playing so hard in Week #1 when she's not even at risk to go home?

Will CBS show this on the prime time show?  Will they let Audrey play out the villain role?

And where was Audrey during this conversation?  She must have been in the DR, because there is NO WAY she would allow that many people to congregate without being there to manage and/or intervene.

Also, Vanessa came very close to mentioning poker in this conversation a few times...talking about people "at the table" and "being in the game" and all.  She must feel pretty comfortable, like no one knows who she is....but when they all find out, perhaps after the end of the summer, (if Vanessa is lucky) it is going to be so obvious that they all got played by a master.

That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

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