Friday, September 5, 2014

All of the Grande's Like Their Trousers Tight #BB16

Ariana sang the national anthem last night in Seattle for the NFL season kick off.  She's working hard to push that album, huh?

You can read the informative article here.  Yes, I'm rolling my eyes.

The Doorbell Rang, and Then Jeff Came In #BB16

So if you don't know, the live feeds have been down for about an hour.  I assumed it was time for Frankie's HoH nominations.  But then Jeff Schroeder tweeted out this picture, thanking CBS and saying that Jordan said yes.

It was a little champagne engagement party, right there in the backyard.  In the picture above, that is Jordan's brother Peyton on the far left, holding Jordan's dog Maggie.  Jordan's cute mother is to Peyton's right, wearing the turquoise top.  I think that is Jeff's brother Scott just to the left of Jordan's face, with his wife.  And then their two kids are on the right, near Derrick.

(If you follow Jeff and/or Jordan on Twitter, you would know all of this, too.)

I'm not sure where the family came in yet...maybe this was a surprise for Jordan, too.  Maybe she just thought they were coming in to host some sort of competition.  But then, that would mean that she didn't even think twice when Julie Chen mentioned their "special announcement" on the Thursday live show.

When Jeff was in the house he told them that the house was a bigger mess and was "way worse" than it ever was when he lived there.  They also went back to the bedrooms and there was some issue with one of the rooms.  I think Jeff said it stunk or something and they told Jeff Cody sleeps alone in there.

When the doorbell rang Cody thought a big celebrity was going to come in, like a big star.  Victoria agrees, and thinks someone was coming in to host a competition.

Caleb says if it was Christine coming back in, he was going to punch her in the nose.

Caleb:  When I heard the doorbell and saw Jeff, I was like, okay.  But then when I saw Jordan, I was like Whoooo.  That accent just gets me....I love the Southern girls.

Caleb and Frankie were arguing about Keith Urban, or some shit, and this happened.  Why in God's name is Frankie wearing those horrid shorts again?

After the doorbell rang, it took a few minutes for the second door to open.  They could hear someone flipping with all of the locks and switches.

Derrick:  We just went to Jeff and Jordan's engagement.

Frankie:  That video is going to be up on You Tube within an hour.  I guarantee it.

(Oh my God I just HATE him.)

Derrick:  Joker's and Hamsterwatch...they're gonna be flipping...

Cody:  Why?

Frankie:  Because Jeff just tweeted that he got engaged to Jordan in the Big Brother was five years full circle....I was sobbing...

Cody:  I was like, why am I getting so emotional?  But they met here and fell in love...and finding a love like that is so special...but I kept it together, because I don't mess around.

Caleb:  I didn't think they expected the cake and champagne and everything though...Jeff was like, "what"?

Derrick:  Jeff was in on everything, I bet.  He had an earpiece in...he was in on the whole caper.  And I'll bet CBS dropped a dime on that ring and helped out with it.  Like on The Bachelor...they always get those Neil Lane rings that are huge, like that.

Victoria:  That ring was sick.

Cody:  But he gets a salary...I'll bet they told him he was on his own with that.  He gets paid a fair amount, I'll bet.

Caleb:  Hey.  They each won a half million.  Didn't they?

Derrick:  No. Jeff didn't.  But he made the Jury though...both times.

Caleb:  So he was out.  But look at the huge role he plays in the game now.

Now Derrick talks about Shelley turning on Jeff during the live show.

Frankie:  Who's Shelley?

BB Reset Button: The Choice is Yours #BB16

Not our choice, their choice.  The house guests' choice.  There is only a sign that says "The Choice is Yours".

Everyone squeals and shouts and is excited.  I really can't believe Frankie chose to wear all of that on live TV.  I can't decide which is worse, the shirt and tie, the shorts, the shoes, or Frankie's head.  Let's call it a four-way tie.

Caleb is positive that the next HoH gets to make the choice.  But then again, yesterday he was sure there would be a series of balloons taped to the wall and they would each get darts to throw at the balloons.  Some would contain large cash prizes, and others would just have prizes or punishments.

A few weeks ago Caleb was certain that Production would give each one of them one of the HoH Room cameras to take home...the kind that drop down and swivel around.

So Caleb doesn't know anything, but he certainly has a vivid imagination.

I wonder if any of them noticed that the wallpaper shows the word "Game" and then the same word next to it, but flipped upside down.  It couldn't be much more obvious than that.

Frankie thinks they can have some great exercise classes in that room now.  Derrick paces.


I am finally watching BBAD and right after the HoH comp ended, all of the house guests ran into the room and discussed pushing the button.  Frankie and Cody wanted to push the button, and Caleb wanted to talk about it.  Derrick tried to be the voice of reason, telling them that they have no idea what this means, that it could be something bad.

They all put arms in and pushed the button.  Then a countdown clock appeared on the screen, and it is counting down days, hours, minutes and seconds.  They figured out it is around  7:00 pm on Wednesday night.  (That is the new live show night, starting next week due to NFL football playing on Thursday nights on CBS.)

Then Frankie left and came back in his tiny man panties, making sure all of the cameras were on him.  They are now nervous and excited.  So the scene I documented above was them coming back in the room to watch the time clock and chatter about what it might all mean.

Hours later, Derrick visited the room alone, pacing around and talking to himself while wearing Caleb's cowboy hat.

Derrick:  It can't be good, right?

Derrick:  It's definitely not good.

Julie Talks BB Rewind, Christine's Boos, and Frankie's Annoying Compliments #BB16

Entertainment Weekly asked The Chenbot a few questions, and The Chenbot responded.  You can read the article online here.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Okay, Julie, that BB Rewind explanation was pretty quick last night. Give us a refresher on exactly how this will work and your thoughts on what it could do to the game.
JULIE CHEN: Basically if the rewind button gets pushed, the two nominees next week come off the block and we immediately rewind the game one week. That means all house guests play for HOH all over again…. So there could likely be a new HOH, two new nominees, a new POV winner and then who knows who gets bounced from the house next.  
We heard Christine get some pretty prominent boos from the studio audience after she was voted out. What do you think that was about? Was that about her being so cuddly with Cody? Her repeatedly betraying Nicole? Something else? What’s your take?
I think the boos were in part: no one likes to see a woman making a fool of her husband. It doesn’t matter that we don’t even know him. I mean, he looked nice enough.  But more than that, she double-crossed her “friend” Nicole…who is decent, forthright and trusting.  And for what?  For the sake of those men who betrayed her.
Frankie seems to have a personal comment to make to you every time he casts his vote in the diary room. What’s your view on that: harmless fun that you enjoy? Unnecessary grandstanding that you tolerate? Or perhaps a bit of both?
Frankie’s comments feel real and genuine.  Or maybe that’s just my ego talking.  I have to admit I get a kick out of it because he does it in such an adorable way.  He acts like he’s meeting a big star and it’s flattering.  What can I tell you?  Chenbot is a sucker for a nice compliment.  I am human after all….????

Derrick's Wife Put a Note in His HoH Basket, Too. #BB16

Derrick didn't find it until an hour or so after he got the basket.  You know, what with the picture of him in his police uniform and all.  (I mean, allegedly...)

He ran into the living room to share it about about 1:15 am BBT.

It is on a pink piece of construction paper, and features her hand print, which is similar to what his wife put in his first HoH basket, with prints of Tenley's hand and foot.

The paper lists "Five Reasons Why I Love You", and Derrick reads them.

I can't recite it word for word, but the list included his "eyes and smile", the "way he respectfully listens to people and offers helpful advice", and the fact that he "makes the best pancakes in the world".

Frankie:  You two are so cute's perfect.

Cody:  It makes me want to fucking puke.

Derrick:  I do make good pancakes.

Frankie takes it and comments on how big Derrick's wife's hand is.

Derrick:  She's a beast!  No...she's probably around 5'2".

(He later says she is 5'4", but he probably shouldn't have said "beast".)

Frankie likes #4, which is the one about listening to other people, so he reads it aloud, with inflection.

Frankie:  I'll bet I know what the sixth reason is.....its your...BIG heart.

Derrick laughs.

Frankie:  Your big, long heart...

Frankie then wonders aloud what "they" show of him on TV.

Frankie:  I am just absolutely vulgar....I have such a dirty mouth...

Production Camera Slip. And More! #BB16

Now, if you are a regular reader of this website, you know that I typically don't Bitch and Moan about Production.  I don't whine about the feeds being boring, or about the game being rigged, or about how I want a refund on my live feed money.

(That one always makes me laugh...some live feeders are such cheap bastards, and if they have so much time to watch a bunch of crazy strangers on their computer all day, maybe they should be seeking gainful employment.)

But if they fucked with Derrick's game by putting a picture of him in his police uniform in his HoH basket, that is a new low for this fucking show.  He has played such a careful game, such a meticulous game, that if this ruins it for him, it will officially ruin it for me.  And Derrick has been polite with Production, and respectful to the process.  (Unlike Frankenstein, who is treating everyone like they were part of his staff.)


OK.  So we can hear Cody, Derrick and Frankie in the kitchen talking excitedly about snacks and what they want to eat, and we see this in the storage room.

Some guy comes out of the rear door with a walkie talkie.  I was half-expecting him to be carrying Derick's police uniform on a wire hanger, or maybe a blow-up poster of Derrick in his squad car.

But no.  This Production fucktard is just retrieving a small red package from the counter.

Since he appeared on camera, maybe Production has to pay him as a performer now.  That would serve them right.

(That is one of the reasons why we can't hear Production talking to them on the loud speaker, actually.)

Derrick Reads His HoH Letter, and Deflects Questions About The Picture #BB16

OK.  So I reported what happened when Derrick got his HoH basket and some framed picture that he quietly freaked out over.  (You can see that here.)

Right after that Derrick went into the DR with his picture and left the group on the couch.  It's a small group now...the Final Five.

There was a picture of Austin Mahone on the Pop Tarts box that Derrick got, and Frankie made several pronouncements about Austin, saying that Austin was always so well-dressed and was the best-dressed as far as Frankie is concerned.

(But look at how Frankie dresses......)

Caleb dismissed Austin Mahone as a Justin Bieber wanna be, and was upset that he was obviously copying Justin's hair and style.

Frankie:  Justin doesn't even wear his hair like that anymore...and he's moved on.  And Austin is just the guy to step into his shoes.  Now that Justin Bieber is doing drugs and fucking prostitutes, Austin is the new thing...he's squeaky clean and he's it.

Cody says Austin's songs are really catchy, but Caleb is grimacing at Frankie.  His cheeks are turning red.

Frankie:  I love how Caleb gets all worked up when he knows absolutely nothing about what he's talking about.

Frankie:  I don't like Austin Mahone even as much as one-seventy-fifth of how much I like Justin Bieber, but I'm glad he exists.  And he's very talented.  And very nice, too.

Maybe Caleb is realizing that Frankie isn't going to hook him up "in the studio" with Justin Bieber, after all.  And maybe he's wishing that he had put Frankie's booty-short-clad butt on the block last week.

(Why couldn't they get the Austin Mahone Pop Tarts before this week?)

Suddenly Derrick appears from the DR and comes in with a little burst of energy.

Frankie:  You getting a new picture?

Derrick:  Yeah!


When we return Derrick pulls out his letter and says he's going to read it first, because "last time he was stuttering".

(Obviously he's worried that the letter will also expose Derrick's job.  After the picture his fucking wife obviously sent him.)

Cody:  Who's it from?

Derrick, stammering:  It's's actually from my father, Tim.

Derrick scans it and we can hear him reading it aloud under his breath.  Only a few seconds go by before Caleb blurts out "are you going to read it?"

(Remember how scary Caleb can be?)

Derrick:  I am.  I'm just reading it first so I don't screw up....but I'm good.  I'll just go with it.

Derrick begins to read.  It's actually a very nice letter, with his dad saying that as his son grows, a distance develops with his independence, but watching him on TV has made his dad realize what an incredible human being he is and how proud his father is in every sense of the word.  He's not sure there is a good way to describe how he feels as a father about watching what kind of person Derrick has become, but he says Derrick will see himself as his own daughter grows.

His dad goes on to say that there is no difference between a mother's love for her child and a father's..they just express it differently.

The P.S. on the letter is that Derrick asked his dad to look out for his wife and daughter, and they "want for nothing" so Derrick should just relax and enjoy the rest of his summer.  His dad says he seems to be surrounded by "a group of wonderful people".

Victoria:  Awwww...

Derrick:  So that's it.

There was a small amount of clapping as Derrick told everyone that of course they were to help themselves to anything in his HoH basket.  I see two boxes of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes, which Derrick has been dreaming of all summer.

Victoria:  Why'd you give them back your picture?

Derrick: just wasn't a good wasn't a good picture at all...

Victoria: Oh.

Derrick:  It wasn't a solid picture.

Victoria:  Oh.

(Look at Cody's face as Derrick says this.....did he see a picture of Derrick in his police uniform holding his baby?  And is he going to do anything about it?)

Caleb:  It was all like, blurry and jacked up?

Derrick:  Yeah.

Victoria:  Oh, so the quality wasn't good.

The talk turns to the items in Derrick's HoH basket.  Cody is going to eat the sushi, I think, and also says he likes the "Quaker Cheddar Things" that Derrick got.

(I think Derrick should give Cody whatever he wants from the damn basket, and be glad that someone else didn't see that picture....)

Frankie goes right back to his discussion of Austin vs. Justin, and Cody wants to discuss how Usher found Justin Bieber on You Tube.

(Well, if Derrick got a deep scare while he was undercover with say, a murderous bunch of drug dealers, I think a response like this would get him in trouble. He was kind of like a deer in the headlights.)

What is Production Trying to Do? Blow Derrick's Cover? #BB16

Or, what is Derrick's wife trying to do?

Just after midnight, Derrick got a call to go to the storage room and everyone knew it was for his HoH basket.  In a Double Eviction, the HoH who wins during the live show is only the HoH for a few hours, until the next HoH competition is played out.

(And I regret to inform you that Frankie won that HoH competition.)

You could hear Derrick laughing and joking as he made his way to the storage room, saying that he didn't think he would cry, and he's done pretty good so far holding it together.

Derrick looked at the counter display in silence, and then Cody came in right behind him.  You could hear Caleb in the living room, asking Cody to bring the letter, picture and basket to the living room.

Derrick picked up the basket and tried to leave the room,  Cody saw a framed picture on the counter and grabbed it, staring.

Cody:  Who is this, your brother?

Derrick put the basket back down on the counter.

Derrick:  Nah....nah...

Cody:  Why would I ask if that is your brother? that's your daughter, but with who?

Derrick is obviously flustered and leaves the room.

Derrick: Hold on, wait one second...

Derrick walks out of the room and comes right back in.  The HoH basket is still on the counter.

Cody:  Uh...what...

Derrick:  Damn...I almost want's really not the best picture to show...

He goes over to Cody and then we get ***FISH***.

When we return a moment later, Derrick is talking.

Derrick:  I'll explain the whole thing later.

Cody hoists up the basket to carry it out, saying "Coffee cakes?  I am going to crush that sushi".

Frankie grabs something from the basket and says "Austin Mahone?  Oh I love him!".

Isn't Austin Mahone a teen idol?  What the hell?  Derrick is missing---did he go to the Diary Room?

Frankie:  Do you like Austin?

Cody:  Oh, I was featured on the Hot Guy Panel with him.

Frankie, screeching:  What?

Cody:  That Seventeen Magazine thing I did..he was in there.

Frankie:  What the fuck are you talking about?  What Seventeen Magazine thing?

Cody thought everyone already knew.  Caleb confirms that Cody said that way back when Amber was in the house.  Frankie seems upset about not knowing this and wants Cody to explain it to him "like he was a small child".

Frankie:  You were booked for this?  Was it a one time thing?

Cody:  It was for the whole year.  I answered questions and stuff every month.

Victoria:  Oh wow.


Frankie is drilling Cody about how he got booked for this gig.

Cody:  They asked me...I told them (ie Production) about it.

Frankie:  But how did you get booked for it?

Cody:  The photo editor at Seventeen told me to put in for it..

Frankie:  And how do you know the photo editor at Seventeen Magazine?

Cody:  My brother...

Oh, it turns out Austin Mahone was on a box of Pop Tarts or some other snack that Derrick got in his HoH basket.

(This disclosure of Cody's might help Derrick out of this jam, since it is obviously putting Cody in the hot seat.  Pun intended.)

(And I guess the picture was either of Derrick in his police uniform holding the baby, or one of his co-workers in uniform?)

You can read about what happened next here.