Saturday, June 21, 2014

Meet Brittany Martinez: From One Prison to Another #BB16

Brittany is an event coordinator, which could mean any of a thousand things.  She's from Long Beach, and is a fan of the Other Britney.  You know, Britney Haynes.  I know Jeff loves Britney, but will he love Brittany?  Let's find out...

1.  Brittany has good posture, and speaks in a very measured way with Jeff.  She says that her event coordination job will help her in the house, because she has to deal with so many different people in her job...some nice, some not-so-nice.  She said she is originally from Long Beach, but is "out in the South Bay now".  (where ever that is....)  With a vague-sounding job like "event coordination", it would have been nice for Jeff to ask her to give us an example of the event, and how she coordinates it, but Jeff stuck to his script.

(Technically, the Olympics is an event, but so is running the dunk tank at the local car dealership Saturday Sale.)

2.  Brittany has three kids.  Jeff is surprised.  I am too---she doesn't look like she has three kids to me.  I got a clear look at her left hand a few times during the interview, and she looks single to me.  Kind of young to be the mom of the Big Brother house, but so far she's the mommiest female on the cast to me.  (Look at Jeff's face in the next picture...must have been near the end of the day.)

3.  Jeff asked Brittany what she would miss most about the outside world, and she said she never wanted to hashtag as bad as she wants to now.  She never expected to miss social media as much as she does now.  (I've got to give her props for being honest and not automatically saying her kids.)

 4.  She knows there will be tough days in the house where she misses her family and that could be her downfall in the game.

5.  Brittany is a new fan, another recruit clueless about the game. But she doesn't say it that way, of course:

Jeff:  So, are you a fan of Big Brother?

Brittany:  I've become a don't have all of this crazy history with the game, so as far as my strategy goes, I've come this far being me, so I feel like that works to my advantage.  I'm just going to go in there and kind of feel people's vibe out and kind of keep riding the wave.

(oh dear)

Jeff:  So are you willing to do anything to win this game?

Brittany:  Yes.  Go big or go home!

Here is Brittany "hashtagging" that phrase, since "that's her motto for everything".

6.  To her credit, Brittany is one of the only house guests who told Jeff they would rather be hated and win the game, rather than losing and having America love her.  We have to give her at least one point for that answer.  She expounded on that in a way that was impossible to maintain my interest, but it had something to do with some people not liking you whether you win or lose.

7.  Jeff closed it out with a line he has used before ---telling her that "she has the tools to win" and her head is on straight.

OK, enough of this polite crap.  Let's see what Rachel and Ryan can do with Brittany in their interview.

8.  This interview starts off with an energetic bang (Thank you Rachel.) and they reveal that Brittany lives about 20 minutes away from the BB house.  She doesn't know if that makes it harder or easier, and then says it is kind of hard because she looks out of the window and just wants to drive "over there" and go home.

9.  She says she misses her cocktails and Rachel gave her the bad news about the severe shortage of booze in the BB house.  Brittany says she's good with, what ever will do.  They all laugh about that.  Apparently Brittany had no idea her alcohol would be restricted and I can tell she is going to have some questions about that later.

10.  They all talk about how tired they are.  Apparently Brittany spelled her own name wrong today on one of the forms she had to fill out, had lipstick on her teeth....

Brittany: fucking bad is that?

(nice to hear her curse)

11.  Brittany is single now for the first time in a decade.  She tells Rachel she has three kids---5, 7 and 12.  Ryan asks her if it was hard to leave them for BB.

Brittany:  Well, it feels like I just left jail, and now I'm going right back in.

They laugh, and Brittany clarifies that the jail was her marriage (sad).  Ryan is a bitch and tells her that now she will have the "whole world watching and judging" but she says that is life---as a woman you are always being judged and gestures at Rachel for emphasis.

12.  She misses her kids terribly right now, and woke up crying about it.  She asked her 12 year old for permission to come in the house.

13.  A few weeks ago Brittany was at a bar having drinks with a friend, and they only had about 30 minutes to talk, so they tried to catch up on everything in their lives.  Two people from Big Brother were in the bar listening to them talk, and the guy came up to Brittany and said "your're going to be on Big Brother!"

14.  Brittany had never watched the show before that night.  She's been on a crash course since then and says she watched Rachel's whole season, and parts of several other seasons.  She says after a few episodes you can get the feel of the house, but each season is so different it's hard to know exactly what to do because the personalities are so different--she doesn't think there is a right or or a wrong way to play.

15.  She's a little stressed out about the house guests who are big fans of the game, but realizes her audition process has been very natural because she's just being herself, rather than strategizing and obsessing over every little detail like they are.  She knows she will have breakdowns in the house and hopes other people think of her as weak.  Ryan and Rachel both tell her they think she's kind of got it figured out and they both say they feel good about her.  Brittany says she is a bad liar, so if she pretends to be something she's not she will surely get caught.

16.  Ryan calls her out on being manipulative, and mentions something in her bio about faking a childbirth to get out of a traffic ticket.  Brittany corrects him in a sassy way and says she wasn't faking childbirth, she faked going into labor while she was pregnant, speeding on the 405.  She says that the cops are always in a bad mood, so she just made herself cry right when he walked up to the car.  She told him she was going into labor and what should she do? where should she go?  The cop gave her directions and then Brittany followed him and parked at the hospital and went in before turning around and getting back in the car.  Her mom was in the car with her and was terrified---she thought Brittany might actually be in labor.

17.  Brittany knows everyone is going to ask her to swear on her kids.  She's already asked for forgiveness ahead of time, because she is going to lie if she has to to win the game.  She knows she's going to cry all of the time, seeing things that remind her of her kids.  


This is a great example of how you need to give people a chance, instead of making any snap judgments.  After Jeff's interview, I could have cared less about Brittany, but after seeing what just happened with Rachel and Ryan, she is one of my favorites to win.

She's a Big Brother Newbie, but she's smart and has tried to analyze the game, rather than just blowing through the episodes.  Brittany is taking a big chance here, going in that house.  Her life is on the brink of a huge change and she grabbed this opportunity when it popped up and here she is, never having watched the show before.

Yes, Brittany was recruited, but this difference is important:  She didn't go to a casting call.  Someone from Production eavesdropped on her juicy conversation at the bar and came over to cast her.  She's coming off what sounds like a horrible divorce, and is doing this MAJOR THING in front of all of us.  And my god, she's so young to have three kids and all of this behind her.  She can have a second life now---the best thing about being a young mother.

Anyway, I think she can quietly get through a few evictions easily if she is this funny and engaging. They won't see her coming, because the young house guests are going to totally overlook her, thinking they can deal with her later.  And I'll bet she'll have all sorts of stories to tell, if Production gets a little wine into her.

If she's in there any length of time, there is bound to be a lot of internet gossip about the divorce and all.  I hope someone tells her how the live feeds work, because she may face judgement like no other if she does or says anything naughty, particularly if there are any custody issues surrounding her divorce.  (i.e. like Tamara Barney's legal issues now, from the RHOC...)

But this is going to be see how Brittany handles all of this.  She is very beautiful and poised----I can't help thinking someone like Devin is going to be all over her in there.  Just a guess.

And based on the story she told Rachel and Ryan about lying in front of the police officer, I am hopeful we will see some Dastardly Deeds from Brittany in that house.  She could be a stealth threat.

Meet Devin Shepherd: Doing It For His Daughter...Daughter...Daughter...Daughter #BB16

Devin hails from one of the most beautiful areas of America...Santa Barbara California.  And Devin doesn't look too badly himself.....let's eavesdrop on his interview with Jeff Schroeder on Big Brother Media Day.

1.  Big Jeff doesn't look so big sitting next to Big Devin, does he?  Devin kicks things off by telling us that he has just moved from California to San Antonio, TX and works for Harley Davidson.  He has a very nice-speaking voice and seems thoughtful and articulate.

2.  Jeff informs Devin that he is "massive".  (No shit, Jeff.)  Devin says physical fitness is his thing, and that he is a former professional baseball player with the Saint Louis Cardinals.

3.  He had a daughter two years ago and gave up baseball to stay home with her.  Jeff seems shocked that he gave up the game like that.

Devin:  I tried to go back right after she was born, but it was Forth of July and I saw some fireworks and it just didn't feel right not to be with my kid, so I'm retired.

4.  Devin is worried that his size will make him an obvious threat in the Big Brother house, and that the others might worry that he will win every competition.  He does want to win HoH, though, so he can see pictures of his daughter.

(No one who ever watches Big Brother regularly would EVER think Devin could win every HoH.  Many of the most important competitions are built for house guests with small body frames, not big hulks like Devin.)

5.  Devin is single, and is open to a showmance if an opportunity there is a lady who captivates him and catches his attention.  He's not looking for a showmance, but he's open to one if it happens.  (I feel like he answered this question by going in circles though...)

6.  Devin hopes the other house guests don't judge him strictly on his appearance, thinking he might be mean or intimidating.  He watched the show last year and saw that the big guys were voted off first and hopes that doesn't happen this year.

7.  Devin is a competitor at heart, and doesn't know if he's capable of throwing a competition.  He's ready to do anything in the game for his daughter, but not for himself.  He wants to keep his loyalty and integrity, of course.

8. Jeff says Devin is a charming guy, and urges him to take that in the house with him.

Devin mentioned his daughter at least eight times in this interview, sometimes twice in the same sentence.  No disrespect to his daughter, but c'mon.  We got it Devin.  You have a daughter.  Let's see if he is like this with Rachel and Ryan and find out if he knows anything about this game.

9.  Rachel wasted NO TIME and asked Devin to please lift up his shirt for them.  He did, and he flexed, and both Rachel and Ryan swooned.  (I did, too.)

Rachel:  Heeeeeyyyy!

Me:  Heeeeeeeeyyy!

10.  Devin has had to lift water jugs in sequester as they joke about his workout habits. He comes clean about his professional baseball career though, telling them that he made it "up to Double A".  (Not trying to throw shade on Devin, but he made it sound like he made the Big Show when he was talking to Jeff.)

11.  Devin has watched every season since BB10, and says that Rachel's season was the first season he watched all of the way through.  (But which one though?)  He's also watched Rachel on the Amazing Race and says he liked watching Elissa last year, too.

12.  Oh boy.  Devin says he watched last year and one reason why he wants to be on the show is that he wants to "clean some s*** up in there", and maybe "right some wrongs".   (They can't curse on this show, apparently.)

13.  Oh now he starts in with the daughter routine.  Now he clarifies that he is a single father, and he wants to win so that she can have a college scholarship without having to "kick a ball".  He says he was a good athlete and that allowed him to go to college, but he wants more for his daughter.  Devin grew up in a single mother household, and things were tight.

14.  He hopes he sets a good example on the show.  Rachel grills him about a showmance, and he tells her that it depends on what ladies are in the house.

Devin:  Like you Rachel, I don't think you would have had a showmance if Brendon wasn't in the house.

Rachel:  Great answer Devin...turn it on the host!

Ryan:  Oh, I think Rachel might have hooked up with somebody in there...Hayden maybe?  It gets lonely in there.

15.  Hayden Moss (BB12) is one of Devin's favorite players.  He was calm and collected and stuck to his game.  Devin says the Brigade still stays together and hangs out.  Devin would like to have an alliance that he can trust, and it shows a lot about your character.  He doesn't want to be involved with flip-floppers, he says.

16.  Now he brings up Howard, who told three lies the whole time in the house, but everybody thought he was a conniving schemer because they didn't believe he could just be a nice guy.

17. Well, something seems fishy, because they were discussing him wanting to win the first HoH so he can see his daughter (of course), and then this happened:

Rachel:  Yeah, someone has to win, and you have to put two people up on the block but no one cares...

Devin:  Only two people?  Or is it three, or four up on the block?

Rachel sidestepped this, but it was clear Devin knows something.  Hmmm.

18.  Devin knows his strategy will evolve as he meets everyone in the house and finds out how they operate.  He says that the "eyes don't lie" and he wants to hear what people have to say. Ryan says he feels like Devin is going to call people out in there, but Devin protests and says something along the lines of this is "America's Game".

Uh huh.  If Devin starts humming an Ariana Grande song then we will know something is up.  (I'm not even sure that Ariana is a singer, but usually all of those tweeners are multi-talented.)

I found Devin's baseball stats.  I can't tell you what all of this means, but here they are.


There is no question that Devin is gong to be some serious eye candy in the Big Brother house this summer.  And I expect him to display some leadership skills and not be a shrinking violet in that house.  I don't think Devin could be a Floater, even if he wanted to. And I think he is going to have to beat those ladies off with a stick, because Devin is hot, hot, hot.  Not just from looking at him...he has a way of speaking that would seal the deal in a heartbeat.

How is Devin going to handle adversity though?  What if he gets frustrated with people in there, or what if he actually hears any racist comments?  How is he going to handle the slop diet, even for one day? (assuming that that Big Brother still serves up slop)

I don't think there is a chance for Devin to win this game, just because of his size, but who knows, if America has influence maybe some good things will happen for him.  I like the fact that he does seem to be a genuine Big Brother fan.

In all honesty, I think Devin will be home with his daughter before the Jury is seated.  But that is pure just seems too risky for the other players to leave someone like him in the house for too long.

Meet Christine Brecht - Being on #BB16 is Her Dream Come True

I don't know how to pre-judge Christine....her favorite BB players are Howard, Helen and Mike Boogie?  I never liked one of those people, and liked one of them until halfway into the game, and agree with the third choice.  WTF Christine?  I guess we'll just have to let Jeff guide us through getting to know her...

1.  Christine is a barista, which Jeff translates for us as someone who makes coffee.  She is a bubbly person, but maybe part of that is her excitement over meeting Jeff.  Or maybe it's the caffeine.

2.  Christine lets us know she is a Big Brother Super Fan who watches the live feeds 24/7. (finally...)

Christine:  Maybe not Ian status, but close...

3.  Christine is a gamer and plays "board games with a group of guys" every Monday who all know how she plays, but she always wins anyway.  She attributes this to being so nice.  She always gets her way, and she's planning on that in the house, too.

4.  She is married to the love of her life, and says she misses him already, so that is going to be tough.  She's doing this for him, though, so she's keeping that in mind.

5.  She thinks she will do well in the mental competitions, but has no idea how she will fare in the physical competitions.  She hopes she can be an asset to her group in there with her social and mental game.  Christine says it is fair to say she will do anything to win the game---she wants a half million dollars.  Jeff wonders if there is another reason she wants to win the game.

Christine:  Dude yeah!  I want to win the title!

6.  Christine knows that every year, the house "splits in two".  She plans to pick the strong side and not be a floater (thumbs up from Big Jeff on that), and then pick another person in the group to have a Final Two with and keep each other off the block.

7. Christine worries that she may be "too nice" in the game, and that could be a problem if her alliance sees her talking to the other side.  She's not sure how she will deal with that but knows she has to get in there and meet everybody to work it out.

***Fun Fact***  During the interview, Jeff shared that he "owed some people some money".

Now let's see what information Rachel Reilly and Ryan Carillo can pry out of Christine in their interview with her.

8.  The interview gets off to giggly start as Ryan and Rachel share their coffee orders with Christine.  I don't even understand what they are saying (what is dopio?). but we now know that she works at Starbucks.  OK--Ryan explains he and Rachel both drink the "poor man's latte". 

9.  Now Christine starts with the "being nice" routine.  Every now and then she doesn't like someone, and she shares a story where she made a not-so-nice comment to a former co-worker.   Basically the guy asked if Christine would miss him and she said no.  Yep, that was the example she gave.  Pretty boring.

10.  She just got a new tattoo on her left arm (the sleeve arm) and Rachel warns Christine to wear lots of sunscreen.  She has her husband's handwriting on her says "I love you".  She has been married two years and Rachel chimes in that she has too and they both gush and giggle about that.

11.  If Christine wins BB, she wants to start a fund to adopt babies--that is what she and her husband want to do but it is so expensive.

12.  Christine is a "legit fan" who says she has seen every episode, but then she says her favorite player is Dan Gheesling.  (WTF is up with the mis-information on the CBS "Trading Cards"?)  Rachel has her clarify that she liked "Season 10 Dan"---the original Dan.

13.  She can't pick her favorite season, but says she likes all of the seasons from ten on...

14.  She doesn't think that she will throw competitions, and would actually like to win the first HoH. because she thinks that would blow over in time.  Rachel agrees that she could use that HoH to make some deals and talk to everybody.  Christine doesn't get how everyone thinks the big muscley guys are such a threat and Rachel agrees they are usually losers in the comps.

15.  This was Christine's first time applying for Big Brother.  She sent in a tape and someone contacted her about an open casting call in her area.

16.  After the season ends, if she doesn't win she will go back to barista work, but not at Starbucks.  She would rather work at a local coffee shop rather than a chain.

17.  She met her husband when she was 12.  Both she and her husband worked in "group homes" so they see the potential those kids have, and would actually like to start a program for kids to intern at coffee shops so they can get exposure to work.

18.  Christine has never seen Duck Dynasty, and doesn't plan to.  She doesn't watch the Kardashians or the Real Housewives.  She likes to watch Sister Wives and the Long Island Medium, too.

Usually I add some extra content here that I find online---internet pictures or links, but I couldn't find a lot of readily-available information about her.  There are a few people with the same name, but they are located in other states.

I did watch Christine in a CBS "Meet the Houseguests" video and learned that she is fluent in sign language.  (!)  She looked like she was signing as she spoke and said she thinks this skill will come in handy because she has tips and tricks to remember things with different hand motions.


It is always nice to have a Super Fan or two in the BB house.  Christine is certainly unusual in that her tattooed appearance contrasts with her sweetheart personality.  I don't mean to judge people with tons of tats, but there is often an edgy back story there.

Christine is a do-gooder, and to me the sign language ability makes her super-interesting.  What if someone else in the house knows sign language?  Hmmm.....

I think she will be the one who gets along with everybody, which can be a real asset.  I remember after David Girton got voted out first last year on BB15, I heard someone say that they voted him out because they never even spoke with him.  I think Christine will make an effort with everybody, based on her videos I watched.

I'm a little worried about her insistence on making a Final Two with somebody.  That can hurt you too early in the game.  Hopefully Christine will wait until the twists are revealed before she does anything too crazy in there.  And I'm pretty sure someone will end up comparing her to Ronnie Talbott from BB11, but she seems to have more social graces than Ronnie the Rat.

And she seems smart.  Very smart.  Based on all of these factors, I'm thinking she has a chance to win this thing.  Seriously.

After Dark Returns to TVGN #BB16

Well duh.  Of course.  CBS owns the TVGN channel so they have to do whatever CBS says.

Meet Derrick Levasseur - Assume the Position #BB16 effing POLICE SERGEANT in the Big Brother 16 house?  Well, we had  small-town Sheriff Kathy Hillis (BB12) and retired FBI agent Jack Owens (BB4), but never an actual POLICE SERGEANT!

What the hell?  I'm scared.....and intrigued. Let's watch Big Jeff go to work meeting Derrick.

 1. First of all I must disclose that I am in LOVE with Derrick's accent.  I am a sucker for a Boston accent and Derrick's Rhode Island accent sounds like the next best thing.  Maybe like a Bostonian sanded with an emory board....although imagining that voice asking me to "step out of the car, please" is a little frightening.  But in a good way.

2.  Derrick is not planning on telling anyone in the BB16 house that he is a police officer.  I think houseguests who lie about what they do end up making the wrong decision at least 99% of the time, but in this case I think Derrick is making the right call.  He calmly tells Jeff that he thinks letting everyone in the house know the truth has more negative possibilities than positive, and I think he's right.  Some people like police officers, and some people don't, and Derrick thinks he's making the right choice by keeping it quiet.

3.  Jeff warned him that the season is long, and it might be hard to keep his occupation quiet, and then Derrick says this:

Derrick:  I worked undercover for a long time, and I never slipped up on that, so I think I can hold out for 90 days.

(Damn that is so cool.)

4.  Derrick went to a junior college (Mitchell College) for two years on a baseball scholarship and then the summer before he was off to Roger Williams College he applied with the police force and they offered him the job. Derrick said he was poor and he figured it was a good idea, so he accepted the offer.  He was 20 when he became an officer. (!)

5.  Derrick knows he will miss his family in the house most of all---he has a 17 month old daughter at home but his family is the reason why he will be there in the first place.

6.  Jeff wonders if Derrick thinks his undercover work will help him in the game.

Derrick:  Well, in undercover work you try to get to know people and their weaknesses, and them exploit them when the time is right...and as you know, that's Big Brother.  I think it will be truly beneficial in the house.

Jeff:  Wow.

(I'm not sure Jeff knew that...)

7.  Derrick wouldn't go on Big Brother if he didn't plan to win.  As a family guy he could use the money and I am getting the impression that he has certainly watched the show before.

8.  Jeff asked him if he would rather be a loser everyone loves on BB, or the winner that everyone hates.  Derrick said that was a great question and then came up with an even better answer.

Derrick:  Well, it depends on what I was hated for...if I was hated for voting out America's Player, then I don't care about that.  But if I was hated because I made some comments that people were offended by.....I'd rather be a loser.  I have to go back home to my job and family and that is the most important thing.  But we do know that people can go in the house and play a good game and a clean game like some of the people we know have (gesturing at Jeff).

9.  Derrick is willing to push the envelope to win the game, but is keeping his family in mind as well as the job he will return to when the season is over.

I just watched Derrick's interview with Jeff again and I like his hands, too.  He is very graceful using them in conversation, but is still a very manly man.  I wonder how he will hold up under the Reality Relapse interrogation by Rachel and Ryan......

10.  Derrick tells us that he was indeed actively working as a police sergeant right up until the time that Production came by and "scooped him up" for the show.  The people at work knew he was going away to be on a game show but they have no idea how long he will be gone.

Derrick:  I'm sure they know now...I'm sure they're hanging stuff up and making fun of me.

11.  Derrick just watched the Survivor season that Tony Valachos won (a police officer) and Ryan mentions the fact that some congressman was trying to have Tony removed from his job for his conduct on Survivor (lying, cheating, etc) and isn't Derrick worried about that?  Derrick was a Tony fan but doesn't plan to play the way Tony did.  He says Tony did win the money, but he did swear on his badge and do a few other things that Derrick isn't planning to do.

Derrick:  Should he get fired?  No, it's a game show.

12.  He tells us that Tony wasn't under oath, and in RI if you're not under oath, it's a different story. He tells America to give Tony a break.

13.  At first Derrick planned to share his police job in the house, and brought some police officer T-shirts to wear, but he has changed his mind now and is going to tell everyone he is a "Parks and Rec Coordinator".  He did that job over the summers so he knows a little bit about it.  It sounds like Tony's Survivor stint was a factor in Derrick deciding to keep the police job quiet---too many preconceived notions about being on the force.

14.  He doesn't watch the Parks and Recreation TV show, and misses the joke that Rachel tries to make about it.  Ryan tells him someone in the house is going to talk about the show.  (True......)

15.  Ryan says it is hard for cops to disguise their job because they carry themselves a certain way.

Derrick:  First of all, I'm never going to tell anyone, and I'm not going to tell anyone mid-game like Tony did---I think that hurts your credibility.

16.  He tells them he did undercover work for three years and the only thing different about him is that he had a beard and earrings.  He doesn't think he looks like a cop.

(Undercover drug work?  Steroids?  Gun smuggling?  Organized crime?  So many questions......)

17.  Rachel reminds him that there are hours in the house where all you can do is talk and tell stories---isn't that going to be hard?  Derrick says he will talk to anybody about whatever they want to talk about.  He will talk about his family, and he will tell them about playing college baseball, just not about what he does when he goes to work.

18.  Ryan thinks this will give him a great advantage in the game, and Rachel thinks he can pull it off.

Derrick:  First of all, I was in situations as an undercover cop where if I messed up, I'd be dead.  So this is only a game, but I can use my abilities to adapt to my surroundings and learn peoples' likes and dislikes, and then exploit their weaknesses when the time is right.

19.  Derrick admits that he's only been watching Big Brother since season 13, and it sounds like the Showtime After Dark show caught his attention when he heard all of the swearing.  Since then he's been a big fan, watching the live feeds as well as After Dark on TVGN.

Derrick:  I saw Rachel's season when she won...

Rachel:  Heeeeyyyy!

20.  Derrick already bought the live feeds for this season before he knew he was on the show!!

21.  Derrick is looking for one person in the house that he can share information with....male or female.  He is from a diverse neighborhood so whoever he feels he can trust can be that person.  This person may be on the other side of the house.

22.  He wears a necklace for his daughter, Tenley Rose that he insisted that Production allow him to wear on the show.  Production had to "tape it" so it wouldn't clink against the microphones.

23.  Derrick watches the Real Housewives (ha ha ha) and his buddy Louie was on the Amazing Race.  Derrick leads the group in giving Louie a shout out and tells CBS to put Louie on All Stars.   Derrick wants to be like Rachel and bring home the money this summer.

I found a local newspaper article about Derrick's wedding and courtship with his wife.  Here is the link if you'd like to read it.

Derrick sure has a lot of brothers and/or friends.  This is him with his groomsmen --what a great picture..  I wonder how many of those guys are cops who are packing pieces...maybe those guns strapped to their leg?  His groom's cake was shaped like a police badge, and one of the two wedding cakes was Red Velvet.  Yum.


Well, I love Derrick.  Derrick for the win.

I still have 14 other house guests to review, so that opinion might not mean much.  And maybe Derrick will turn into a dick in the house, but right at this moment I'm loving him.

I'm a little worried about him not knowing about the show Parks and Recreation....him not knowing anything about it would be suspicious to me if I were a house guest.  I've never even watched that show, but I know Chevy Chase got fired, and that the show almost got cancelled several times before it actually was cancelled (right?).

But Derrick's exciting undercover work has laid the groundwork for him being able to keep a secret.  And that part is key.  Depending on how Production edits his introductory package, he might just have America's support, too.

Everyone loves a hero, right?  I just wish Derrick could tell some of those undercover stories on the live feeds....and stories about nabbing and cuffing the perps and reading them their rights....

I'm excited about watching Derrick.  And listening to Derrick talk.  And then blogging about watching Derrick and listening to Derrick talk.

OK OK.  You get the picture.  I think Derrick will make the merge, and more...

Meet Amber Borzotra: Same Model, Different Year #BB16

So here's Amber from Tennessee, otherwise known as the Land of Judd.  I'm trying to keep an open mind here, after seeing her favorite Big Brother cast member is Howard Overby from BB15.  I'm sure Big Jeff can get to the bottom of this, right?

1.  Well right away there is a Big Problem with Amber.  On her CBS "Trading Card" at the top of my screen, her occupation is listed as "estheician", which usually means that she provides skin care services.  You know, giving facials, popping pimples and so forth.  But she tells Big Jeff that she is a model.  Ruh roh.

2.  Amber sure is purdy, though, and has a soft accent that is far from obnoxious.

3.  Jeff has a history of liking the Southern girls, so he asks Amber if she plans to use her Southern Charms in the BB house this summer.  She sighs and says she will if she has to..

4.  Amber's strategy is "to win", and she hints at creating an all-girl alliance.

5.  She is from a big family with nine brothers and sisters.

6.  She's "not that great of a liar" and Jeff says he can tell.  (That Jeff, you can't fool him.)  She warns Jeff not to just look at her and think she's not competitive, because she is.  Jeff assures her he won't judge.

7.  When asked if she will do anything to win Big Brother, Amber doesn't even know what that means.  (Has she ever watched the show?)  Jeff asks her if she will lie and Amber tells us that would be hard, because she doesn't like to, you know, have enemies.

8.  If she wins, she's going to use the money for her family.  (Maybe with the money her mom can afford to have another kid.)  She says she has to have a "Why" for everything she does, and her Mom is her Why. 

9.  It's a tough choice for Amber, but she would rather be a BB loser that everyone loves, than a BB winner that everyone hates.

10.  Amber uses her hands a lot when she speaks, which makes for interesting pictures.  I'm thinking Miss Cleo could do something with at least two of these pictures.  (You're welcome Miss Cleo.)  Amber gives Jeff the "two-handed shake", which is always nice if you can get it.

Well, I don't know about you, but I don't feel like I know Amber at all yet.  So here I go in search of some newsy interviews.  This is the interview Rachel Reilly and Ryan Carillo did for Reality Relapse.

11.  As anticipated, the interview kicked off with an energetic burst, with both Rachel and Ryan gushing over Amber's beauty.  "Flawless", Ryan declared, which is a high compliment indeed.

12.  Amber said that BB kind of fell into her lap after going to an open casting call.  She took a trip to Australia and then went to California and then called her mom to say she was never coming back to Tennessee.  She went to an open casting call in California and yadda yadda yadda here she is.  She had nothing to do that day, so she thought "why not?".

13.  The only season she had seen "before all of this" is Big Brother 15, but admits that "they have been on her to watch other seasons".  Ryan scolds her to "do her homework" and watch them.  Amber says that "in the hotel, she kind of has to".  (Ruh roh #2)

14.  Well now she says her favorite contestant is Andy, because "he is so cute she could just put him in her pocket".  (What about Howard, Amber?  The evil side of me was looking forward to hearing her articulate why Howard was a good BB player.)

15.  Rachel asked her who her favorite female contestant was from last year and there was a moment of silence.

Amber:  Female?  From last year?  That's a tough one....

They all giggle.

Rachel:  Elissa?  What about Elissa?

Amber says no, they weren't really her cup of tea.  (So I guess she doesn't even know who Rachel is?)

16.  Amber's mom was a single mom and they were very poor.  Amber brings up the "Why", again  and her mom is still her Why.  (So she didn't kick her mom to the curb by changing her "Trading Card" answer like she did with Howard.)

17.  She says she's been a model for a few years now, but she originally wasn't sure if she should mention that in the house.  She was planning to mention the skin care thing, but has decided not to lie and just be honest about being a model.  Rachel thinks that is a good idea, and Ryan tells us that from looking at her, it is clear she is a model.  He says she is very tall and has long legs.

18.  Amber has never heard Rachel's famous line about Floaters needing a life vest.  Ryan smirks that they finally found someone who didn't know about that.

19. Amber doesn't want people to hate her.  She is interested in being a sportscaster, and has been barraged with questions about being in a showmance all day during the press junket.  If she finds someone tall dark and handsome in the house than she might just have to fall in love.  Rachel told her that people have gotten married from being on the show and Amber nods and agrees it is possible.

(It is crystal clear that Amber knows NOTHING about Rachel and I'm loving how Rachel sat back and didn't interject comments about herself.  You know, like Ryan would do...)

20.  Rachel asked her if she liked Rachel or Britney, and Amber chose Britney, because Rachel "got under her skin a bit".  Ryan assured Amber he doesn't like Rachel much, either.

(ha ha ha)

21.  She's very competitive, and may want to hide that since she doesn't want the others to "find out her game".  (Not much chance of that, honey.)

22.  Note to Mark Burnett:  Amber said she would do Survivor.  (In fact, she may be available for taping soon...but that's just my opinion.)

23.  The interview closes and Ryan tells her to "watch those tapes, honey".  

Here are a few of Amber's modeling shots I found on the internet.  First, a wholesome one.

And two "other" photos of our Amber.


Amber, Amber Amber.  The odds aren't with you Amber.  The pretty models are always some of the first to go.   Like Cassi Colvin, Kara Monaco, and David Girton. 

But if Amber gets booted early, she would have had some good Prime Time camera coverage, and maybe this will help her career.  

Needless to say, I don't have high hopes for Amber doing any Dastardly Deeds in the BB16 house, but I will do my best to get some good poolside bikini shots for the fans to remember her by.   Don't take this the wrong way, but Amber seems like someone who would bring  your wings to the table pronto, with a big smile and a bottle of hot sauce.  And that's a good thing.

Even though I expect Amber to be out of the Big Brother 16 house within three weeks or so, I'm sure the usual Big Brother Has-Been Predators will be on her like white on rice.  Yes, I'm talking about you, Canadian attention whores.  (***cough cough  Alec ***cough cough *** Peter *** cough cough *** Liza***)

James Rhine gets a free pass from me because hey, he's James Rhine.  His "Whys" are just fine with me.