Sunday, June 22, 2014

Meet Donny Thompson - Picking Up Trash For the Likes of Kelly Pickler #BB16

OK OK.  Every television show produced in the last two years features a guy with a beard, and Donny is our guy this summer.  He is a school groundskeeper in North Carolina---automatically that brings to mind the show True Detective on HBO, which skeeves me out a little about Donny.  (If you watched the show, you'll know what I mean.)  According to Donny's CBS "Trading Card", Donny's favorite Big Brother player is Spencer.

No surprise there...because Spencer has a beard.  And Donny has a beard, too.  We get it.   And the only other BB player Donny could have named with a beard was Adam Poch...but at least Donny didn't name Adam as his favorite.  Both bearded men left the game in the #3 spot, but at least Spencer didn't mug for the camera during the finale and make a total asshat out of himself by saying he'd see us on Big Brother All Stars.

But I digress. Let's get back to this year's Bearded House Guest.

I first got a load of Donny on the "Meet the Houseguests" video on the CBS website.  CBS wanted to drive the point home that Donny is a flag-waving redneck, just to be sure we know that.   They also wanted to make sure we know that rednecks are uneducated, because the clip they show of Donny in this video is him struggling to spit out the words that he likes "girls with foreign English accents".

At first I thought Donny was pulling a funny, by saying his line in such a redneck-sounding voice.  But alas I think that is his real voice.

***sigh***  It is hard being a Southerner sometimes.

1. OK.  To his credit, Donny looks directly into the camera when he is speaking to us, and his actual speaking voice is not as bad as it was in the CBS Meet the House guests clip.  (***whew***)  At 42, Donny is the oldest house guest by far this year.  Donny tells Jeff he works for the public school system at home in North Carolina.

2.  Jeff asks Donny about his beard and he says he grew it out in only 8 months, and it is longer than it looks.  Jeff is impressed with Donny's beard-growing skills, apparently. 

Donny:  I took my first shower out here with the water and it was like BOING!

Jeff asked if he could touch it, and Donny said sure.

3.  Donny tells us that he's never really been a beard person, but that it's really "grown on him" and he gives Jeff an elbow to make sure Jeff gets the joke.  Jeff got it.

4.  Now that Donny and Jeff are old friends, Donny asks him how he gets his teeth "so purty and white".   Jeff says he just brushes them, but Donny says he brushes his, too, but they don't look like that.

5.  Jeff asks Donny what he would do with the money, and Donny gives him a pretty straight answer.

Donny:  I'm gonna put it in the bank with the rest of it.

Jeff wanted to know if Donny had a lot of money in there and he said no, not a lot, but he's a "stingy person" and hasn't thought too much about winning yet.

6.  Donny thinks his biggest downfall in the game might be trying too hard....he's not a very good liar and says he won't be able to look people in the eye while he's lying, he'll be nervous, etc.  He thinks people might just see him looking all over and think he's weird.

Jeff:  So is that your strategy?  Being weird?

Donny:  No!  Going into this game and being outgoing and can't trust anybody in this game, but maybe you trust somebody a little bit if they make you laugh.

Jeff:  I trust you, just sitting here talking to you.  Are you working me?

Donny:  I've been working everybody since I got off the plane!

7.  Donny knows that in many seasons, the old guy is voted off first, since that doesn't make too many waves.  He doesn't know if there are going to be any other old guys in the house, but he's assuming he's the only one.  He knows this is a potential downfall for him and he needs to get through the first few weeks to have any chance in the game.
 8.  Jeff asked Donny the question about being the winner everyone hates, or the loser everyone loves.  Donny says he doesn't want people to hate him, so he would rather go home the lovable loser.  Jeff told him he thinks America is going to love him, and he wants him to go in there and go for the money.

This was the only Jeff video I've seen yet where there is no handshake at the end.  Maybe there was a handshake, and we just didn't see it.  Maybe there was already enough touching displayed earlier in the video for CBS' tastes.

OK.  Let's see if Rachel and Ryan can get Donny to dish some dirt.

9.  Rachel doesn't disappoint, and starts off the interview by asking Donny how his airplane ride to California was...she knew that Donny had never flown before.

Ryan, being a shit:  What?  How is it that you've never flown before?

Donny:  Well, I'm from North Carolina, and I didn't need to go nowhere.

Take that, Ryan.  Rachel chimes in that she's from North Carolina, too, and there are beaches and mountains and Ryan should stop hating on the entire state.  

10.  Rachel says she's from the Charlotte-Concord area and Ryan says he works in Concord.  Then Rachel hollers that he must have been "Kelly Pickler's janitor in high school!" but Donny says "No, I was Kelly Pickler's janitor in Stanley County, but now I'm a groundskeeper in Concord".  Rachel pushes for the details and Donny names the school district he works for.

Rachel:  I went to school there!  And my sister!

Ryan is a bitch and asks Rachel if she is making all of this up.  Rachel says "NO!" and points out that Donny knows exactly what she is talking about.

Rachel:  So that's three good Concordians on Big Brother.

11.  Donny says Bunky (BB2) and Jordan (BB11, BB13) are from nearby towns in North Carolina, too.  Ryan makes yet more snotty comments and Rachel argues that Big Brother has two winners and one Fan Favorite from North Carolina so this conversation is a valid one.

12.  Donny was anxious on the plane, and says that before boarding they announced they were having maintenance issues so that made him nervous.  Once they boarded and taxied out on the runway, they still had issues, so they had to return to the gate for more maintenance.  He ended up missing his connecting flight in Atlanta, but says it's all good.

(Bonus Frequent-Flier Joke for You:  If you are going to Hell, you have to change flights in Atlanta.)

The lady sitting next to Donny held his hand and was praying with her eyes closed during takeoff, but Donny looked out of the window and loved every minute of it.  He says he's addicted to flying now.

13.  Donny has watched every Big Brother season since the very beginning, so Rachel pushes him on why Spencer is his favorite, if he's seen every season.  Donny says he has many favorites, but he likes the way Spencer kept his mouth shut in the house and kept a low profile, even though he was on the block ten times.

Donny:  If he had won the game, I would have been happy for him.

14.  Donny says his strategy is mainly based on his social game.  He wants to make people laugh and be friendly.  He says he is "old as dirt" and doesn't think he can win many competitions.  He says since he's watched all of the seasons he knows most of the competitors are young.

Donny:  With the beard, I look 47, but without the beard, I can look 37, so maybe they'll let me shave it in there this summer.

Donny remembers that Rachel said she would never shave her head, and he points out that Elissa said that too in one of her preseason interviews.

****then this happened****

Donny, pointing at Ryan:  Who are you again?

Me:  ha ha ha

Rachel:  HA HA HA.

15.   Donny has lived alone for 21 years, and likes it quiet and dark at night.  He says he might be okay in the BB house, because it's not like he has to get up and go to work the next day, so he doesn't need a good night sleep.

Rachel pointed out that he's really going to be working in there every day, and he shouldn't forget that the cameras are always watching.

16.  Donny likes Sour Patch Kids candy (yum) and says he's watched every episode of the Real Housewives.   If Donny's not working or doing "little Sodoku puzzles", he's watching reality TV so Rachel says he should watch their show Reality Relapse.


Ryan Carillo is always hyper-sensitive about being gay during every interview, and has already called several house guests out about something they said, making it all about himself. But this interview with Donny clearly showed that no one discriminates against other people in a rude and intrusive manner like Ryan himself does.  He had a bug up his ass during this entire interview with Donny....first about North Carolina and then with the snotty Lady Gaga comment ("Do you even know who Lady Gaga is?") and saying Donny was "just full of surprises" when he said he watches the shows on Bravo.  Ryan obviously thinks everyone from North Carolina is an ignorant dumbass cut off from the outside world.

As a "journalist", this is just plainly inappropriate.  And as a human being, he is an obnoxious piece of shit.  He is lucky that he gets to sit beside Rachel, because otherwise he can just take a seat in a corner somewhere and shut up.

Newsflash:  Ryan Carillo is a dick with a chip on his shoulder who is superior to NO ONE.

(Oh yeah, the TV show that Ryan appeared on was "Expedition Impossible".  No, I've never heard of it either, but I have heard Ryan introduce himself as a "Reality Star".  Reality Star "Wannabe" is probably more appropriate.)



Well, I have to say I like Donny Thompson now.  I am thrilled that he is a Super Fan who has watched every season.

But can Donny win?  If he can get through this game, than Donny will surely earn that big paycheck.  He has several huge obstacles to overcome in there---first of all he is the oldest house guest, and in the appearance department he will stick out like a sore thumb.  He is correct about the oldest house guest being an obvious choice to be voted out first.

And living in that house with all of those people won't be a picnic, either, especially for someone who has lived alone for over 20 years.  If Donny has a temper, than the conditions will be ripe for him to blow at some point.

If Donny can make it through those first few dangerous weeks, then I think he can easily make the Jury.  I hate to make judgements, but I can see him being a smoker.  Being a smoker can help your game in that house because you automatically get a good deal of sit-down time with the other smokers.  And if you brought extra cigarettes for the Drunken Bummers, then you may have earned a few extra weeks for sharing your smokes.

(But I said the same thing about Spencer last year, and I was dead wrong.  I never saw Spencer smoke  a cigarette at all last summer.)

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