Saturday, August 17, 2013

Leave the Frog Alone, Helen! #BB15

Everyone has been waiting for hours for the damn PoV competition to begin.  Helen was sitting in the Cockpit with Elissa and when Elissa left to lay down to rest, Helen started messing with the frog who has been living in that room since the Frog Gigging PoV Challenge.

I'm not sure what her goal was, but she seems to be torturing the poor little thing.

She took him in the bathroom and scrubbed at him for two rounds of cleaning.

 Frog:  HELP!  HELP!

She went to the kitchen for a glass of chocolate milk, and then went right back to work on the poor frog.

Meanwhile McCrae enjoys private time sitting in the kitchen area, reading the Bible.  I guess he was unable to hear the frog's screams.

In related news, Clownie is resting comfortably this afternoon, having recovered from the hanging incident, and the later prescription pill overdose scare.

We always hurt the ones we love.

Tidbits From Last Night #BB15

Yesterday was pretty eventful, as far as BB15 goes.  They had a Have Not competition, where Aaryn teamed up with the guys to win, making Amanda, Helen, Elissa and Gina Marie Have Nots for the week.  America was kind enough to vote for Head Cheese and Habaneros for them.

In cast you don't know, "head cheese" is actually the head of an animal.  You can learn more about this disgustingly cruel food here.  Like the liver the Have Nots were given earlier this year, no one will eat any of it, and it will all be thrown away.  Such an insult to the innocent animals that were slaughtered. 

OK.  Enough vegetarian lecturing.

Apparently during the competition they had to crawl around through something gross, and dig through something gross to find some sort of key.  Spencer's time was apparently jaw-dropping at just over three minutes.  I heard him say that he never had to "go through the pots", but found his key hanging in the air or something.

Oh, and Aaryn nominated Elissa and Helen for eviction.  Aaryn is the only one in that house that is not a wussy about nominations. I like her nominations, because some house guests were encouraging her to blindside Helen after the PoV ceremony.  But that might have allowed Helen to win PoV to save Elissa, so Aaryn took a more direct approach.

Everyone assured Helen that she is not the target, that Spencer was the one everyone wanted out if the PoV was used.  Helen actually seems to think that she is on the block so that she can't vote for Elissa to stay.  But as of now, Helen Kim is the target this week. 

Elissa pitched a hissy fit last night and threatened to self-evict, rather than go to the Jury.  This drove Helen nuts, since she was hoping to get Elissa's vote when she makes it to the Final Two.  (You can see Helen Kim's meltdown here.)

OK, so late last night Helen had to talk to Elissa like a child telling her that she should not make any more comments about leaving the game before Jury, and that now they need to take action to take the target off of Elissa and shift it back to Spencer.

Helen has a recurring zit in the same spot on her forehead that is painful, apparently.

Elissa feels like there is like, a like, higher power that is like, better for her than trying hard in the game.  (Production?  Allah?)

Helen:  Well, you'd better pray then.

Elissa:  I'll guess I'll try to be nice and like, make small talk.

Helen:  That is a lot of what this game is, being nice and making small talk.

Elissa also said that during the live show when she complained about having to sit between Aaryn and Gina Marie and made the comments about how "disgusting" they both were, it like, wasn't like a personal thing.

Elissa:  It like, wasn't like, a personal thing.  I just wanted a few minutes to be like, by myself for a few minutes.

(During the fucking LIVE SHOW?)

Helen has a lot of stuff in her hair from the messy competition.  Her team went first and when Spencer saw them he noticed that they didn't look dirty.  Helen told him that Production let them rinse off some of the stuff because they were going to be sitting around waiting so long.

Later, in the living room, Helen was trying to "be nice and make small talk" by talking to Spencer and McCrae about all of the showmances this season.  Helen really thought she was super witty by making up the name "McCranda" and she kept saying Hoandice for Howard and Candice, trying to get it right.  They also said "Juddessie".

Then Amanda arrived and just jumped on top of McCrae like this.  And everyone continued the conversation as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening.  I wonder how many times McCrae has washed those flannel PJ pants this season.  If it weren't for Amanda, I would guess "zero", but I think she may have raised that number to "two" or "three".  Just a guess.

 Helen continued with her super witty commentary, and even repeated most of it since Amanda just joined them.  I'll bet everyone is thinking, wow, we really need to keep Helen in the house this week, she's so witty and entertaining. (ha ha ha)

Helen:  McCranda.  Did you hear that?  McCranda. I think that is the best one.  McCrae, there are going to be so many babies born with the name McCrae now....I'll bet there already is a baby named's such a great name.  I think the name McCranda is great too.  And Howardice......Howandice...

Amanda:  Coward.

***crickets***  Helen was probably scared to comment on that showmance name.

Amanda:  That one's been used a few times...  (i.e. in the DR, but the DR was DEFINITELY scared to use that footage due to Howard's litigious comments on the live feeds)

Helen:  Handy.....Spandy.....

Spencer and McCrae were both riveted to Helen's super witty commentary blasting through the living room.  Obvie.

(I would love for someone to calculate how much of this season McCrae spent in a horizontal position.  I'll bet the rate is as high as 33%.  He looks like a dead body here.)

 Helen finally went to bed and Amanda tried to make rock candy.  She was stirring and stirring the candy and couldn't figure out how to make it work. 

(I think you must make a sugar-water mixture and then leave it out with a string in it so that the sugar can crystallize.  But that surely wouldn't work with the ants around there.  Around the holidays I actually make a variety of brittles and barks for gifts, and you really need a candy thermometer and a high dose of caution.  Sugar gets REALLY hot.)

Gina Marie enjoyed a wine glass full of what looked like blue Windex but was water mixed with electrolytes.  She made a big production when the glass was empty, as you can see here.

Even though they weren't drinking booze tonight, the group in the kitchen got punchy.  Aaryn told the group how BB UK house guests put a sheet over the dining table so that they could bang under it. This got McCrae and GMZ's attention and they crawled under there with a comforter partially covering them.


McCrae immediately noticed the smaller dining table under there, and says BB should switch the table to the smaller version, too.  Everyone got under there and BB had to tell them to "shut it down".  Amanda told everyone that she had the idea to have sex under the chess table earlier this summer.

Then they started screwing around by the picture wall.

They realized Andy had been upstairs listening to Aaryn's Carrie Underwood CD (ugh) and Spencer and McCrae went upstairs and started giving the finger and shouting FUCK YOU to one of the Spy Cam cameras.

Hi Jinks With Clownie #BB15

Someone hung Clownie in the shower.  Aaryn ran over to the balcony and called out that whoever did that will be the replacement nominee.

Aaryn:  It's a disgrace to all clowns, everywhere.

Aaryn, laughing:  This is how they repay me for all that I've done?  Andy better sleep with one eye open. 

Aaryn wants to put headcheese in Andy's bed, but Gina Marie says maybe Spencer did it, and McCrae is a rat, too.

Note that Aaryn made no move to rescue Clownie.  She left him there, hanging, while she put in her contacts and got ready for the day.