Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The House Guests Discuss Their "Numbers" #BB15

This is a Flashback from the wee hours of this morning, around 1:20 am BBT.  McCranda is lounging in the Cockpit with Spencer and Judd and having general chit chat.

Spencer would like the person who played the best game to win BB15, and doesn't care if this week is a Double Eviction (it is!) as long as he isn't the one leaving the game.

Spencer:  I don't want anyone who is sour on the Jury...

Judd:  Or butterscotch......sour butterscotch...

(A call back to Spencer saying weeks ago that he thought Jessie's cooch would taste like butterscotch.)

 Spencer: Yeah.  Aaryn apparently told Jessie that I said her pussy would taste like butterscotch, and she has brought it up to me every single fucking day since then.

Judd:  What?  What the hell does she say about it?

Spencer:  Well, I said in my first week's goodbye message that I was sorry to see her go, that her pussy probably tastes like butterscotch.

Amanda:  You DID NOT say that!

Spencer:  I did.  I swear.  I mean,  it didn't stick and I had to redo it, but I said it.  And I told some people about it and apparently it got back to Aaryn.  And Jessie says, you say my vagina tastes like butterscotch..

Amanda accuses him of saying that she would taste like peanut butter and jelly and Spencer denies it.

Judd:  That's what you told me...not just peanut butter and jelly, but a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with the bread and the whole thing..

Spencer, laughing:  On wheat bread, toasted.

Amanda:  And after Jessie said that, did she ask you to lay in the hammock with her?

Judd:  Jessie loves any type of attention, so I'm sure she loved you sayin' that about her.

Spencer:  I'm well aware of that.  I was telling McCrae the other day that she was the type of chick you could date for six months and one day she would say she's moving to Seattle.  So I said to her that I had a dream that she would move to Seattle for a great opportunity and she said "yeah?"

Judd:  She's the kinda girl who would stay overnight at your house and you tell her you hafta get up early, like at 7:00 am.

Amanda:  And she stays at your house?

Judd:  No, you watch her drive, and then you drive in the other direction and then turn around and go home and go back to bed.

McCrae laughs and Amanda wonders if things like that really happen.  Spencer says he's done that tons of times, and one time he told a chick that he didn't have time to drive her to work, so he dropped her off at her boss's house and went home and went back to sleep.

(That girl should thank her lucky stars she didn't end up buried in Spencer Clawson's basement, right?)

This type of information is all new for Amanda, and she can hardly believe what she is hearing.  Spencer says he has opened his gate and parked in the backyard before so the girls didn't think he was home after he slept with them.

(That is what the garage is for, people.)

Judd asked McCrae if he's ever done anything like that before.

McCrae:  No..I've only slept with like, three different people.

Amanda:  In your life?

McCrae says yes, and Amanda asks "really?".  Judd and Spencer are kind of speechless and I hear Judd mumble the word "fiance" sandwiched in between a bunch of other mumbled words.  Spencer tells him to look up at the camera and say their names and Judd says "slander, slander" in a sing song voice.

(I feel it is important for you to know that during this entire conversation, Spencer is putting one of those little flossing contraptions in his mouth.  Personally, I don't feel that tooth flossing belongs ANYWHERE but the bathroom sink.  If you are a regular flosser, then you will understand why.  If you are not a regular flosser, than you probably have really bad breath due to all of the decaying food and plaque under your gums.)

(I am not trying to imply that, due to flossing, Spencer's breath is clean and fresh, mind you.  I have no idea about the state of Spencer's mouth odor and I am happy to report that.  Maybe his breath smells like butterscotch.  ***ugh***)

McCrae:  Yeah...two of them were one night stands.

Spencer:  Oh, good for you bro.  Most of mine are...I have very few repeat visitors.  Or customers...whatever...

(The jokes just write themselves, people.)

Amanda, laughing:  Well, don't tell America that!

Judd, to McCrae:  Well, you're making me feel like a slut.

Amanda:  Three people?

Judd reports he has been with between 10 and 20 "people".

Judd:  I mean, I'm not sure...somewhere between there...I've not really counted...

Spencer: Yes, you have.

Judd admits that a bunch of them were one night stands and asks Amanda "is that bad?"

Spencer:  I would bet 80% of the women I slept with were just one time..

(Were they dead afterwards Spencer?  Was that their last day on earth?)

Judd:  I'd say about 85%. for me.

Amanda:  Do you wear condoms with your one night stands?

McCrae:  No..

Amanda:  YOU DIDN'T??  I can't believe you just admitted that!

Spencer:  Dude, I don't ever...

Amanda:  WHAT?

Spencer:  I feel awful even tryin' to put one on.

McCrae laughs and Spencer says that is something you practice in high school but then you're just like, fuck it.

Amanda, to McCrae:  I can't even believe you didn't even know where those two bitches had been and you didn't wear a condom!

McCrae:  No...

Amanda:  Then you need to get tested before we have sex..  I always wear a condom before we get tested...

Judd, to McCrae:  What about that girl you were with the week before you came here?

McCrae:  There was no girl..

Amanda:  WHAT???

Judd, laughing: I'm just fuckin' with you..he never told me that....I'm completely lyin'...

Spencer launches into a story about this "hot chick hobo" he tried to fuck one time.

Amanda: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.  You fucked a homeless girl?

Spencer: No, she wasn't homeless.  She was tryin' to ride the rails to get to Florida.  And she was very sexy..she was from Bulgaria.  Her name was Yana (he spelled it for us) and she was wearing boots and wind pants...

Gina Marie comes in and interrupts them to say good night and Amanda just can't get over that they "fuck random chicks without a condom".  GMZ is eating fiber pills and says they taste like candy.

GMZ:  I eat, like six a day but I've only had three.

Amanda:  WHAT?  I've never had any...I'm scared.  But I should because I never poop.

Spencer:  Well, any way, this chick was wearing like, construction boots and we had to do it quick so I just pulled her pants down and fucked her from behind.

Amanda:  I can't believe you fucked a homeless girl with no condom!

Spencer gave her a McDonald's hamburger in exchange for the transaction and he said he could feel her IUD when they were doing it.

Spencer:  My friends said I was a hobosexual.

They all laughed and Spencer told Amanda that McCrae's two people that he had unprotected sex with will not give her an STD.  Amanda points out that they were tested before they came in the house for STDs.  Amanda says they test for drugs and other things, too.

Spencer says he has been with 46 women.

Judd:  You've been with remember?

Spencer:  No, I don't remember.  I remember the number but I don't remember all of the chicks.  I can recall way less than half of their names.

Amanda can't even  guess how many people she has slept with...she doesn't know her number.

Judd:  Like 10 or 20?

Amanda:  Yeah, 10 or 20.

McCrae:  Bullshit!

Spencer:  It's not bragging if you have a pussy.  Anyone anywhere with a pussy can find someone to put their dick into it.

McCrae:  I call bullshit on that...I heard you say at the pool one time....

Judd:  Over 50?

Amanda:  What did I say?

Spencer said he would believe any number over 70, and McCrae agrees.

Amanda, laughing:  It was 15 or 20.

Judd:  You said all of the Miami Dolphins!

Amanda:  Yeah, the second string.

 Judd:  The whole team?

Amanda:  No, it was 15 or 20.

Spencer gets up to leave, saying he's tired of this "spool of lies".  Judd wants to go outside to smoke and the group breaks up.   It turns out that Amanda is naked under the blanket and she and McCrae bicker about the two people he slept with unprotected, and the real number of people she's slept with.

Judd:  I can't believe I drank after Spencer last night...I feel disgustin'....

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