Thursday, June 27, 2013

Big Brother After Dark - Pageantry of Lies - 6-26-13 #BB15


The Big Brother After Dark season of BB15 officially opened when the live feeds started, at 9:00 pm on Wednesday, July 26th.  The premiere CBS episode aired earlier tonight on the East Coast, with McCrae "Tuglord" Olson winning the first HoH contest by hanging on to his popsicle the longest.

I don't think hanging on to the popsicle was so hard, but getting slapped with the huge "tongue" and sprayed with the ice cold "saliva" appeared to be quite uncomfortable for some of the new BB15 house guests.  And then when they were pelted with brightly-colored "syrup" or whatever it was the shit got even more real.

Just about every single one of these house guests told Matt Maynard in their preseason WeLoveBig Brother interviews that they did not want to win HoH.  But of course they didn't know that the new MVP twist would introduce some much-needed uncertainty into the game.  Some of the floaters would need not just a life vest, but a lifeboat, too.
I know some Super Fans may disagree with me, but I think McCrae's instinct that he needed to win HoH was correct.  He was definitely a physical oddity in that group of Beautiful Women and Assertive Hardbody Men, and we saw on the CBS show that groups of house guests abruptly stopped talking when McCrae entered the room.  That's not a good sign in the coffee room in your office, much less in the first day of entering the BB house.  As long as McCrae can avoid the dreaded HoH-itus (see Willie Hantz) then I think being HoH will force the other house guests to get to know him and that is not just a good thing, it is a necessity at this point.

OK.  I'm blabbing away already.  Here we go.

As the first episode of BBAD begins, I can tell right away that the production values have improved.  Did we move to high definition?  I'm not a techie by any means, but the images are sharp and clear and somehow more vivid.  The TVGN screen shows the BBAD action on about 80% of the screen, with a small stripe at the bottom of the TV screen displaying the constant scroll of what is playing on all channels.  Most people would just watch this channel to find out what other channel to watch.  But not me.  I'm going to be planted for the next 100 days for two hours, baby.  As Larry Sanders would say, "No flipping".

As the show opens, we join a group of house guests who are in the HoH, chilling.  I can tell that they've been drinking a little.  Jeremy is shirtless on the couch, and Judd is also roaming the room with no shirt and a headband with a feather stuck in it.  Judd doesn't seem as "country" in this setting and is fitting in quite nicely.  As I expected, I think he is going to be a Party Catalyst in the BB15 house.  Howard and Spencer are in the HoH room too, as is Nick.  McCrea sports a yellow bandana, worn in a new way that I cannot describe (but will not be copying) and leaves his own HoH room to the big frat group occupying it.

***continue reading after the jump***

We then see Andy wearing a bright pink baseball cap (from a competition, likely) sideways, and apparently using a lot of curse words in a gentle way.  I say this because instead of getting bleeped, entire sentences are totally muted.  Andy is smiling and looks to be around 12 years old.  He is sitting in the HoH, too, watching Nick and David open a large gold-wrapped chocolate bar, making jokes about Charlie finding the Golden Ticket.  David is shirtless, too, and I briefly wonder if he is considered stinky yet by the others.  (David said he does not plan to bathe often in the house.)  There is a lot of overtalking and this could be anyplace in the USA where young people have gathered to drink and talk some shit.  The HoH room city scape is devastatingly beautiful as a back drop.  It gives the HoH suite a luxe, exclusive feel, like a club.

Now we see a gaggle of female house guests in the bathroom grooming each other.  It's like a little salon in there.  The bathroom is tricked out like a wooden sauna, and I heard Julie Chen say that it smells of cedar, which is probably a big improvement to the usual smell.  But to me the bathroom looks very boring and plain.  They could use some colorful art in there, but maybe the point is to highlight the house guests and let them stand out while they are in there.  Who knows.  Elissa is making duck faces at herself, and they are all discussing how extensions "give you a lot of confidence".

We see that Helen is being all tarted up, sitting in the makeup chair with Gina Marie adding eye liner with a professional-looking method.  Helen has borrowed someone's hair extensions for the occasion and says that the girls are all teaching her some much needed information already.  Gina Marie says Helen's extension color is "201", but that Katlin is probably a "1b" or a "4".  Candice counsels that they should cut off "the very tip of their hair, if they don't need it, and take it in the store with them to be sure to get the correct color.  (If you "don't need" your hair, why would you buy extensions?)

Amanda appears to be the only girl in this group of guys in the HoH, and is not exactly a shrinking violet.  She is mouthy and I think she may be flirting with Jeremy by staring him down.  Some might call that Eye-fucking, but I don't like to use that term, even though I just did.  They are discussing Jeremy's Cherokee heritage and David  is laughing well, like a stoner.  Jeremy tells Amanda to "stop eying" him and they all laugh.  Amanda has a lot of make up on and looks cute with her hair up in a bun and a bright pink hairband to match her unzipped hoodie.

They discuss Judd's accent, and Jeremy can't wait to see Judd's DR sessions.  Jeremy confesses he is loud in the DR himself, and would have cast Judd for the show if he worked in casting.  They all think that Production will let them know when the feeds go live, but of course the feeds are already live, and have been for over 7 minutes.  Now Andrea tells Jeremy to stop staring at her, or she'll "make a teepee in her pants".  (WTF?)

Then Amanda loses her flirtation momentum when Aaryn and Kaitlin enter the room with hair and make up done, but still wearing casual attire.  I guess they think they'll get a Live Feed warning, too.  Ha ha.  Aaryn has long extensions in, and both of them look drop dead gorgeous to me.  They are the hot chicks of the season, I think, and there are whistles and cat calls as the guys look them over.  They give Gina Marie ("GM") credit for their look, as Aaryn tells them GM is making them all into Playboy bunnies.

Kaitlin asks them how much she looks like Megan Fox now, and she and Aaryn stretch out on the bed and soak up all of the attention.  Aaryn puts on the HoH headphones to give McCrae's music a listen.  Turns out Jessie is sitting quietly up in the HoH, and it is soon clear that she has been nominated.  Aaryn says the music is sad and shares the headphones with Kaitlyn so they can both listen.  (Do they even sell CD Walkmans anymore?)

Back downstairs Gina Marie is still making up Helen, and I can tell Helen is enjoying the experience.   Elissa is across the room applying make up to Candice.  Elissa is wearing long, long lashes and comments that this is the first time the girls have been segregated from the boys for so long.  Then Amanda's name comes up as one of the girls who isn't hanging with them.  (Uh huh.....that was a read.)

Now McCrae returns to the HoH as Katlin gets called to the DR.  Howard is wearing black rim glasses that look good on him.  Kind of like a black Superman.  Jessie still sits, miserable on the couch.  They must have gotten zip up hoodies in the Have Not competition, because Nick is wearing a blue hoodie just like Amanda's pink one.  The hot girls leave the room, so Amanda rejoins the conversation, saying she likes to walk around the house when other people are asleep.

Amanda has a "thing" where she cups her hands around her mouth and speaks like a Flight Attendant on the intercom.  They watch the spy screen and joke about the people in the kitchen.  (This is an obvious reference to the new Have Not Room.)  They laugh about BB playing banjo music during footage of Judd and how Julie Chen will have difficulty getting Judd's vote to evict out of him, due to his mumbling.

Oooo now Howard is laying on the HoH couch near Jessie, and I see his hand stroke her back after she lays down with her head near his.  Is he comforting her, since she is upset about being nominated?  Or is this something else?  Regardless, Howard seems to be fitting right in, too.

Now we see Spencer in the kitchen with Jeremy and David who are both shirtless with abs and tattoos (Jeremy's) blazing.  Jeremy appears to have a toothbrush in his mouth and is doing some fist pumping and dancing, making other two guys laugh.  I think he knows he is on the Spy Cam now.  No, it wasn't a toothbrush.  David wonders if the Live Feeds are even going on tonight.

Now the HoH crowd comes downstairs, and everyone files in single file through the house and goes into the Have Not Room.  Judd shows them the three-seat segment that is "his bed" and they count the 13 suitcases stacked up on the wall adjacent to the rows of airline seating.  The suitcases are brightly-colored Samsonite hard body cases.  (Those things will outlast the Apocolypse, I think.)  Spencer looks around the Have Not room, taking note of everything.  Jeremy is lounging in the Have Not room and would be wise to try to downplay the fact that as a "Never Not" and as such he will never have to sleep in there.

Amanda has put on a dark blazer and comes in the room to do her Flight Attendant routine.  Jessie comes in the room silently and sits next to Jeremy with a cup of something, obviously very fragile right now.  They sit and watch The Amanda Show, who wants to play Big Brother Trivia over the "intercom" she make out of her hands and face.  She does sound like a Flight Attendant, too.

Now Howard and Nick are alone in the HoH, going through their alliance's plan to get through the game.  Nick is speaking quickly and his words are blanked out frequently, rather than being bleeped.

Nick:  Her's what I want the MC to focus on.  Getting out David, and getting out Amanda.

Nick discusses how smart Elissa is, but Howard cautions that after a few weeks, Elissa will present a problem.  Nick discusses how stupid people are to hang out with their alliances all of the time.  Elissa asked Nick if he would vote out Jeremy if she put him up (as MVP maybe?).  Nick told her sure, that Jeremy is so strong.  Their alliance is called the Moving Company ("MC") and they discuss how they think Aaryn is playing David, and how David never says anything of substance.  Nick feels that he is getting "reverberations" from people who are solid, that "this is what is going to happen".

Nick is telling people that they should "play day by day" so he doesn't have to commit to a bunch of new people.  They both trust McCrae totally, and he is part of the Moving Company.  Nick has done the math and thinks this is the hardest week for the Moving Company, because this is the only week they won't have the majority vote.  The Moving Company has 5 members and per Nick "gets better and better every week".

Moving Company = Howard + Nick + Jeremy + Spencer + McCrae

Nick say it is hard to not be able to talk to everybody throughout the day, but they are trying to keep things quiet.  Jeremy is the hardest one to talk to, because he's "always with the girls" and Nick says that is a part of his strategy.  Jessie came in and they changed the conversation quickly.  She went in the HoH bathroom and Howard made a motion, pointing at the bathroom and mouthing something to Nick, while still carrying on some sort of bogus conversation about someone going to sleep.  (Thats a good skill, Howard.)

Now we go back to the Have not room for The Amanda Show, who is asking trivia questions about this season.  (i.e. who was the last one to walk in the house?) Are they practicing for a competition? 

Now we see Elissa in the HoH talking to Nick and Howard about hydration.  Nick tells her to drink more water and BB tells her to put on her microphone.  (I think she looks much prettier without as much make up on (like now) but I think she is too young for all of the botox and lip work.  She is so healthy and a good diet is your best beauty secret, in my opinion.)  Howard and Elissa are both Have Nots so they discuss the competition.  Howard got "shaky" and Nick discusses his strategy to win.

Now back to The Amanda Show as more people come in the room.  Aaryn has put on a tight blue dress and looks stunning.  Gina Marie is wearing a bright pink dress and you should know that as soon as Aaryn and GM came in the Have Not room, Amanda lost control of the crowd for a minute before regaining it with more trivia.  McCrae is very quiet, sitting in his airplane seat.  Now the girls leave again, with only Jessie in there with Amanda and all of the guys.  (See a pattern here?)

Some one brings up Candice talking about something like it was no big deal and Amanda says "Candice was talking?  Shocker!" and on that the cameras go to the bathroom where Candice and Helen are both low talking as Candice piles on more eye makeup.  They are both dressed up now.  Candice is nominated and Helen tells her that she needs to take "the huge opportunity talk to him before Jessie does".  (McCrae, I think.)

Helen is wearing  is wearing a sparkley dress that looks expensive.  (Maybe Helen should have gone on a shopping spree at H&M or Target for clothes to wear this summer so her financial security is not on blast.  Just a guess.)  Jeremy comes in and tells both girls they "look rockin' for sure" and the leave to get ready for "the show" they are going to have in the living room.

Now McCrae goes up to the HoH and Nick tells him that he and Howard were just talking about how everything is going perfect for the MC.  Nick says that McCrae, Howard and Spencer are "going to play the other side of the table" and Jeremy and himself were going to start gravitating towards the "Blondetrage" (or something like that).  Jeremy is in some sort of side alliance that has something to do with a banana but Nick says it is perfect because no one would believe that he would work alone for the entire game.

Spencer arrives with a snack and Nick fills him in, too.  Spencer asks if this is "Phase 2" and they all laugh.  Spencer is hard to read, but seems to be going along with the MC, if not a little sarcastic about it.  It sounds like they have Gina Marie to help them, too.  Judd comes in and the topic changes,with more words blanked out due to extreme cursage, I think.

(Nick is being way too bossy, as I'm sure we will learn from DRs as the season moves along.)

Now we see David and Aaryn (the "Blondetrage", maybe) flirting with each other and it is clear that they are becoming a couple.  They are going to do some sort of pageant to see who is the "Meow Meow" or something like that and have made David put on one of the tight pink dresses.  He had to wrap a towel around hims lower half while GM tried to pull his pants down, and then pull the dress over his body.  Now Jessie says that it is "in the handbook that you have to wear a bra, but she hasn't been doing it".

Of course the cameras change on that, to Candice up in the HoH trying to make her approach to McCrae.  She says she wants to make McCrae up, too, for the show and he agrees to go downstairs with her.  David now sports a matching pink visor and I have to say he looks good for a dude in a dress.  We see Elissa soothing Jessie and telling her to go ahead and get dressed up too, so that she can "enjoy the ride".  Jessie is perkier and heads off to get glammed up.  Now David is wearing high heels.  Ooofa.  (Candice's shoes maybe?)  Gina compliments David's attitude.  We can see David's nipples coming out of the dress.  Funny.

Candice is pulling McCrae's hair back and discussing how they will do his hair, until BB says to "Stop That".  McCrae says they probably want him to look the same for the DR so they stop abruptly.  Now David tells the guys he would like to take the dress off soon.  It's bugging him and it does look tight.

McCrae has a fast whispered conversation with Nick as he brushes his teeth about Jeremy.  Nick says that Jeremy is with them all of the way, and is just infiltrating the other alliance.  He tells McCrae to believe, and then they whisper about Amanda, who is apparently getting on their nerves.  I think they said she was "pounding everybody".  I'm guessing she won't leave them alone----I can vouch for that after just an hour of this show.

Now Gina appears in a flowing orange dress that is short on one side and long on the other (HORRIBLE) and she does the catwalk in it and turns.  They tell her she is "Gone with the wind fabulous" (like Kenya from RHOA) and she twirls for them.

Now we see Andy and McCrae in one of the bedrooms alone, talking about forming an alliance.  Andy is saying that they need to figure out "something soon with a solid group of people" and then Candice interrupts to tell them they are having the Ms BB America Pageant, or some such.

In the living room Amanda is still front and center as they all gather to sit on the couch for the show.  Then Aaryn sits at the antique typewriter and pretends to be typing her diary.  Amanda is the mouthpiece, of course, dictating the Diary Entry.  We get a close up of Spencer, stone-faced.  They appear to have plenty to drink, as I haven't heard anyone negotiating for booze or complaining about the lack of it.  GM puts ice in her wine flute, which is pure Staten Island, baby!

Jeremy came out of the DR and is "flabberghasted" over the scene in the living room.  They were waiting on him because they want him to beatbox in the background, but he says he is losing his voice.  He laughs at David in the dress and visor.  McCrae is dressed as a nerd with khakis and a button down, with his pants pulled up, way up on his chest.  Nerdy glasses, too.

Gina Marie MC's the event, and is a natural at it, I guess from her job.  She introduces Candace as the host, and Candice holds the blue "slop ladle" to use as a microphone.  The stress of being nominated does not appear to be getting to Candice, or at least she doesn't show it.  Kaitlyn is nervous about having to do this---she didn't want to have to speak in the pageant to compete, she just "wanted to frickin' stand around".  Kaitlyn said she loves her extensions tonight and can't stop staring at them---I guess she borrowed them tonight, too. 

Candice just mentioned doing pageants, so that cat is out of the bag.  Andy is hungry and says he is turning into "slop and bones".  So they had their little pageant and Helen won, becoming the "Meow Meow" and wearing a pink furry kitty hat with long pink ears to her knees.  She proudly addresses the camera, saying "Honey! I won!", while everyone cheers.  Helen does look super hot and her little pageant speech said that she wanted to be the Vice Julie Chenbot, or something like that.  As the host, Candice got solo camera time for quite some time, as she went on and on to lead the pageant.

Not such a good move, I don't think.  She came off bossy most of the time and seemed to forget it was all a joke.  Jessie did look great once she put on a beige tight dress and her shades, and as a nominee she should be happy about gaining some ground on Candice.

Aaryn and Kaitlyn are peeling off their tight dresses while the cameras watch and Kaitlyn is beefing big time about Jessie.  She doesn't like the manner that Jessie just used to speak to her, but doesn't want to do anything about it because she "doesn't like confrontation".  Aaron is down to her bra, right on camera and stands there in it for at least 15 seconds before she puts on another tiny top over it.

Then Jessie comes in and has a whispered conversation with the two of them.  Kaitlin is assuring Jessie that the whole house wants Candice out, and she doesn't have to worry.  Kaitlin is very tall and towers over little Jessie while they speak.  It sounds like they think McCrae will want to backdoor Elissa, and there is chatter that maybe Elissa is getting tight with McCrae, since they have been spotted talking.

In the living room Candice is talking about having "peer fear" and having fear about speaking in small groups.  The camera goes to the bedroom where Aaryn and Kaitlin are moving around, making their transition back to their normal look.  Aaryn has a silver necklace that she got in Guatemala that she wants to wear, but I didn't see her put it on.  Now back to the living room where Gina Marie is now wearing the Meow Meow hat. 

There are so many people in that house..every surface seems to have someone draped on it.  McCrae wears baggy flannel plaid pajama bottoms.  Now they talk about what they will see if they Google each other.  Gina Marie says there will be 10 pages about her pageants and other stuff. (Her Maxim Hometown Hottie spread?)  Nick says he has a bunch of stuff out there for him on MySpace and Facebook from all of his events.  Jessie said all of her friends joined MySpace so they could get Justin Timberlake tickets.  McCrae sits next to her, nodding and pulling on his hair.  He's very hard to read, that McCrae.

In Senior year Jeremy was on the homecoming court, and he escorted two girls instead of one and says the pictures "were dope" and the other guys say that sounds really cool and "tight".

Now in the HoH, Kaitlin and Gina Marie appear to be alone and  are snacking and Kaitlin is telling her that she and Aaryn made an agreement with Jessie that they would each pick a guy and start showmances.  Aaryn and David, Kaitlin and Jeremy, and Jessie and Nick.   So now Gina Marie is flirting with Nick, so I guess they think there is friction between her and Jessie over Nick.  Now Kaitlin says she thinks Jessie is flirting with Jeremy now even though she's the one who has been cuddling with him.

Kaitlin said in her preseason interviews that she hates confrontation, and doesn't get along with women.  Interesting.  Now Nick is there and has pulled up a chair to the girls' conversation about Jessie.  He just sits there and takes it in.  Kaitlin says that she is much prettier than Jessie and she hates to sound conceited, but that's just the way it is.  In the DR Kaitlin got the impression that Jessie was mad at her, so that is why she just approached her to see if everything was okay.

Kaitlin is wearing a camisole top, and a small pair of skin tight booty shorts.  Made of Lycra, I think.  This girl is going to be trouble.  As the show ends the camera shoots her from behind, on her knees leaning on the bed towards Gina Marie.

And Nick just sitting there.  Nick is everywhere.  Is his twin in the house?  His triplet?

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