Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - A Couple of Lightweights 8-29-12 #BB14

This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Tuesday, and in the wee hours of Wednesday where I live.

Frank is the HOH, and Britney and Danielle are on the block.  Somebody's leaving on Thursday, and is going to Get to Steppin' right out of that house and join Ashley in the Jury.


1.  The show opens with Ian having a sorrowful conversation with Britney.  He is telling her he has a lot of respect for her, and he needs to tell her that she will be going home on Thursday.  He is near tears, forcing Britney to comfort him.  He tells her the vote will be 4 to 1, and he said she would know who the vote to keep her was from him.  I think he is going to give her a pair of his sunglasses, and he's going to "make sure her next couple of days are good".  I'm pretty sure he said he wanted to tell her in advance because he respected her, "not like Boogie".

(What a little dick this kid turned out to be.  And all Britney will do is make fun of the sunglasses.)

Britney then goes into the Arcade, where she tells Danielle that Danielle has the votes to stay.  Danielle starts whining and saying she doesn't want Britney to leave.  They both cry and Britney has to pull it together and console Danielle, which is kind of messed up. She says that she has been so stressed out about this--her body has been breaking down and she's glad Ian told her.

(This is why Britney didn't deserve to be a Coach with the likes of Dan and Mike Boogie.  She is accepting fucking IAN telling her she's going home.  She's not even going to fight it.)

Britney tells Danielle that now she and Jenn will be the only girls in the house.

Danielle, whining:  Who am I going to talk about Marc Jacobs and Michael Kors with now?

(OMG I'm trying not to vomit up my lunch.  Michael Kors might file a cease and desist order to keep Danielle from ever uttering his name again.)

Britney:  Well, you've got Jenn.  You're going to have to learn to talk about Hot Topix and Spencer's!  And listen to Cyanide and put safety pins on your clothes. Maybe you can draw on yourself with pens or cut yourself with knives!

She gives Danielle a bug eyed stare intended to demonstrate just how bad it's going to be around there. She tells Danielle that Dan is very good at this game, and Danielle should never trust him again.  Danielle whines that she "just feels so used".

She wants Danielle to win the next endurance comp, or "she'll kill her".  Now they joke about hiding Ted somewhere that Frank can't find him.  Britney would prefer to chop Ted's head off, or set him on fire.

Britney: What if Frank came out to the backyard and I was holding Ted's ear, and he was in flames?

Now Britney asks Danielle to imagine having to lay around the house and the pool with Jenn "I Eat Canned Baby Hearts".  (WTF?)

(Uh...Britney...Danielle has a final two deal with Jenn that involved your eviction this week.)

2.  I see Jenn participating in a Boot Camp session in the backyard.  They haven't had a boot camp for at least a week, not since Mike Boogie was in the house.  I think all of the turmoil that has happened has thrown everyone off their fitness goals.

But now I'm really confused about Jenn's clothes.  Did she not have to give them all up for the POV?  Because now she is wearing that "studded romper" that she wears to work out.  I guess we'll figure out what punishments she took on tonight's CBS show.

(**update** on the CBS show I learned that she only had to burn the clothes she had on at the time)

3.  Dan played pool with Ian, but I did not feel the usual comraderie with them, nor the chatty banter.  Shane is laying nearby in his hot pink shorts watching them, complimenting good shots.  Dan is not wearing his blue flowered shorts, so I guess they are spreading bacteria to his other clothes in the Have Not room, probably balled up on the floor.

Britney appears with her huge glass mug of coffee.  She doesn't want to sit in the hammock because "it always smells bad over there".  She and Danielle decide to sit on the couch.  Dan has a bad pool shot and says "Stuffing nonsense" and tells Ian that line  is from Willy Wonka.

Ian: I know.

Ian wins the game and gloats about it.  Dan tells him to "take the charity" and he joins Britney and Danielle on the couch.  Britney put cinnamon and vanilla extract in her cup of coffee.  She asks aloud if "someone can please give her a bottle of effing wine".  She accuses Dan of having a bottle stashed somewhere, and notices the wine opener on the table and demands to know why it is there.

Britney goes off on a rant about all the punishments Frank took from the POV and calls him the best player who ever played the game just to use the veto anyway.  Britney is being loud and calling Frank a genius and laughing uncontrollably.

We see Frank is laying on the hammock.  I guess that is why Britney said it smelled bad over there.

Britney:  Yeah Frank.  I do have to go on Thursday.  And you have to go next Thursday and I can't wait to see you.  And I will take my shears and cut off every lock of your hair and paste them to your chin while you are sleeping.

Danielle laughs as Britney talks about taking Frank's hemerroid pads and "putting them in her bed".


Britney says Frank has benched himself for the next eligible POV contest, and he could have just let Dan win and save himself.

Britney:  And he's wearing a carrot suit!  Genius!  He's the best player whose ever played this game!  The best!

Dan thinks they need to get Britney some wine, and he says in his microphone "let's expedite that delivery of beer and wine, please".  Britney just goes on and on about Frank and how good he thinks he is.

Britney:  This guy...he won't even admit that he got misted.....he acts like it was his plan to give up playing 2 HOH's.  We can have facials in the Jury together.

(It's too bad we won't get to watch Britney bawl when she discovers Danielle turned on her and lied to her all week, since she knew the night before that Jenn would use the POV.)

Dan is just laughing, but Britney thinks he's laughing at how funny she is.  That might be part of it, but that's not all he's laughing at.  She goes on and on, saying that she will never vote for Frank to win.  Never.  She will vote for a house plant before she votes for him.

Britney: His social game sucks.  No one likes him, get a clue!  There's a reason why you go on the block every week, Frank!  Everyone things your an effing D-bag.  Good luck getting that half a million.  I will sooner make a $500,000 donation to Mad Love Cooking.

Danielle wonders what would happen if they had unlimited alcohol in the house.  Dan says whew--that would be Bad News City.

Britney comments that the Non-Jury side of the fence at Finale night is going to be huge, since it will include so many people.  They all agree that Willie will not be invited.  Britney thinks BB probably thinks she will break the bottle of wine and slit somebody's throat tonight.  Dan says from what he's seen, Britney is a happy drunk.

***continue reading after the jump***

Tidbits from Today #BB14

Once again I had the feeds playing in the background as I worked today.  I didn't take a lot of pictures, but there was some good conversation.

I think they are locked down inside today, indicating that there will be an elaborate set for the HOH competition.  The Thursday live show is preempted in my market for fucking NFL football, so check your local schedules.  I'm pissed about that big time.  I will be covering the post show live feeds, so don't worry about that.  I will try to watch the show on the internet, but that plan didn't go so well last time, which was the night Janelle was evicted.  Fucking NFL. If you have any good ideas about how I can watch the Thursday show live on the internet, please let me know.

 Here are some highlights from today:

*  Dan and Frank had a nice chat.  Dan reminded Frank about all of the times when Frank accused Dan of taking advantage of a kid like Ian in the game.  They both laughed, and Dan said that several times he was close to putting that situation on blast when they were in a big group.   Dan and Frank seem to have a really easy, friendly rapport.

*  Ian and Britney got VERY drunk last night. I think Britney needed help walking.   Ian had to make some rounds today with apologies.  I'm still working on my BBAD recap, so I'm not sure how much of it I will see there, but you should know that Britney was a happy drunk, and Ian was a very mean and sour drunk.  He had to apologize to Jenn for a comment he made about 9-11 and I'm not sure he remembers all of his words and actions.

*  Frank told Ian that 'he said some things that the folks back home won't like".  He also mentioned the way Ian was acting when he was in the pool with Britney.  Ian was alarmed when he heard that so I could tell he didn't remember.  (We've all been there, but not with cameras watching and people like me putting it out there for all to see.)  Frank also announced that after last night, they probably won't get much alcohol anymore.

*  Dan continues to encourage Britney to become a real estate agent.  He says with her people skills and analytical mind, she would do very well.

*  Britney told some stories about her various jobs.  In NY she worked for Astra Zeneca  (Dan said "AZ" and I know what that is.)  and after she got engaged she knew she was going to have to quit and leave NY to move to Oklahoma to live with Ryan.  She heard that Astra was going to have layoffs, so she was hoping that would come up before she had to quit.  Pharma companies lay off when their key drugs go off patent, etc, so she knew it was coming.  Before the layoffs they always send out a message first asking for volunteers.  Britney was within one month of her wedding when the volunteer message went out---she said she responded within 15 minutes to accept their offer.  It was much more lucrative  then just leaving the job.

*  She also told a story about flying to Oklahoma to interview with Eli Lilly and what a dick the interviewer was.  She did not get that job.  Britney described all of the places in NYC that deliver food---basically all restaurants and how convenient it is.  Later in the conversation Frank said that if he wins BB, he might live in NY for a short time to see what it's all about.  When Britney asked why  he mentioned what she said about all of the restaurant deliveries.  (You know Frank LOVES to talk about food.)  He also liked the idea of liquor companies delivering.  (Frank:  That's solid!)

*  Britney gave two examples of things she said on the live feeds during BB12 that came back to haunt her.  Once she described a former boyfriend who would wait until she fell asleep and then go through her phone and demand explanations for certain calls or texts as soon as she woke up.  She said that guy sought her out after BB12 ended to complain about her talking about him.  She also made some disparaging comments about her former fiance's brother's girlfriend and how that girl went from a BB12-Britney SuperFan to hating her guts and bashing her all of the time.

*  She alluded to the fact that the guy she was "dating" had a lot of issues with her behavior in the BB12 house.  I think he called her mother to complain constantly about the revealing clothes that Britney wore, etc.  (She never calls him her Fiance now, but she said that constantly during BB12 and she wore his engagement ring.)

*  Dan had a serious girlfriend during BB10, and her father was very pissed when Dan went on BB10.  He said something like "what if my daughter waits for you and then some blonde with big tits starts rubbing up against you in the BB pool?".   This lead to a short discussion of Keisha (who, of course, was blonde with big tits), and how  everybody thought Dan was too flirty with her and suspected something went on between them.  (I've heard Dan say before that when he went home after BB10, he realized he didn't miss her that much, so he broke up with her.  I suspect Dan had a GOOD time with Memphis in LA, too.  He has also mentioned how much trouble you can get in to in LA in the club scene. )

*  Dan asked Robyn Kass why Will Kirby wouldn't do BB14 and she told Dan that Will was making some huge money and wouldn't do it.  Dan thinks he knows where all of the cameras are in the Arcade Room, so he actually held up a pillow but not in front of the camera I was watching.  I could read his lips as he told Britney the following:  After he won BB10, he asked Production for Dr. Will's phone number.  They said no.  He asked for Mike Boogie's phone number.  They said no.  Dan said can you call him and ask him to call me?  Mike did, and gave him a lot of good advice about what to do with his life---basically to go home to the coaching job he loves and invest the money since he didn't need it to live on.  Then he got an email from Dr. Will with some tips and advice.  Dan ended up emailing with both of them when he had questions about certain events or offers when they came his way, to see if they recommended pursuing them.  Dan told Britney that "he wanted me to invest in Dr. Tattoff".  Dan's financial guy "looked at the deal" and then Dan made a face that indicated the deal didn't look good.  (I have to say that Dan didn't say the company prospects didn't look good, but maybe the deal that they offered him didn't meet the minimum payback or something.  Or maybe a new business was deemed too risky...who knows.  He may be sorry about that now.)

*  Later in the afternoon Ian had a talk with Dan.  He was sniffling and almost crying outright, talking about Britney leaving.  And I'm sure he's ashamed about his actions last night.  He's going to have to live that down----I've heard him speaking angrily in the past few days that he was the "founder of the Quack Pack and he'll go down with the ship." (He may be a BB scholar, but he's just a kid with very limited life experience.)

*  Jenn told Dan about what Jodi said when she met the other house guests.  I've heard Wil allude to some of this, but I've never heard it recounted word for word.

Jenn:  Jodi said that she was a newlywed with five stepkids, but let me tell you  I'm nobody's mama!  She said she wouldn't be doing our dishes and I was like okay, but I'm a grown ass woman.  Then when Wil was introducing himself he said "I'm the token gay" and Jodi said, no you're not, she is too! and pointed right at me!  Later she said to me maybe that wasn't the right thing to say and I said no, it wasn't.

Dan was cracking up at all of this Jodi talk.  After all, she was on his team for a few hours.  They didn't talk about it today, but I've also heard that Jodi commented that she thought Danielle's front teeth are fake (I think they are.) and of course that Frank was hiding some sort of high-end career because of his top of the line Samsonite luggage.

Frank's HOH Blog....Again. #BB14

Frank is certainly logging a lot of time in front of the HOH computer this season.  As usual, everything sounds just like him, and his unique voice.

I like how he calls Mike's son "Brady Boogie" and calls Ted "Teddy B".  I don't think he's allowed to call him Ted anymore, officially.  Because of Mark Wahlberg and all.

HoH Blog: Frank

Hello again from the HOH room!! Three W's in the HOH column is definitely a great feeling, especially when you've needed them like I have, this one the most!! I'm not sure how I pulled off the POV win and the HOH win like I did on Thursday, and I hope everyone watching can see how bad I want this and how much I love this game. Having Mike and Ashley go in the same night was definitely a low blow, especially when you consider that it was Ian who was behind what happened. Not having them in the game is absolutely going to make it harder for me going forward, but I'm doing my best to get myself situated for a run down the stretch.

Big shout outs to friends and family, you are all loved and missed. Also big props to all our troops stationed all over the world, whether you're fans or not, we are all fans of yours!! Mom, Nana, Gunnar, Dad, Juice, Cake, Jonathan, and all my other friends and family, I hope I'm representing you all well and not embarrassing anyone, I love you all and can feel you cheering me on every step of the way. David and Carm I hope you haven't set the house on fire!! Hello Mike Boogie and Brady Boogie, wish you were still her brother, but I know you're rooting for me.

The finish line is almost in sight, and I've fought too hard up to this point to not make it to the end. I felt really alone in this game after Thursday nights' double eviction, but now I'm starting to not feel so alone. Some people in the house are going from thinking 'this guy can win this game' to 'this guy deserves to win this game' which is the mindset I need people to have.

I hope I haven't rubbed any of you the wrong way with my some of my louder moments, I just hope everyone can see the passion I have for Big Brother. I fought really hard for three years to make it into this house, and I've had to fight even harder ever since I walked through the door to stay in this house. For all of you fans out there who have tried to make it on the show, know that persistence really can pay off!! I'm living my dream as you read this!! I also hope that we are putting on a great show for all of you this summer, we try to keep it interesting!!

I know its a game, but I didn't check my character at the door, some people obviously feel different.

Root for me, the unlikely underdog!

Frank and Teddy B!

P.S. From being on the block five times, to wearing a spriritard, to chum baths and a carrot suit I can't catch a break!!! Kids eat your vegetables, especially your carrots!!!

Wil Heuser Takes Aim #BB14

Last week, Wil promised to release a parody of the Big Brother 14 show on Tuesday.  Well, he came through on that promise, but was a day late.

Wil is releasing a trilogy of videos, demonstrating his business acumen.  If he releases one each week, he will be right on time for the season finale, where the subject is sure to come up.  He is so talented, really talented.

I think the people hardest hit here are Danielle, Janelle, and Julie Chen herself.  But maybe Wil will give equal time to the others in the upcoming trilogy segments.

You can keep up with Wil, and see all of his videos, on his website

Scenes From Yesterday - Britney's Tantrum #BB14

I realized this morning that I never posted some pictures I took yesterday of the house guests and their various activities.

Better late than never, I guess.

Britney was very upset about her situation, but I think she has tried to remain in control emotionally.  Suddenly yesterday she said she wanted to throw some things around.  So she plucked some items out of the pantry and started throwing them.

Frank yelled:  Hey!  That's my stuff!  That's my almond butter!

She was muttering to herself that she couldn't throw certain items, because they would break, I guess.  BB yelled at her to Stop That several times.

I couldn't see Frank, but I could hear him yelling.  He suggested she throw an empty gallon jug that was on the counter.  She did that.  A few times.

Big Brother's not happy about that, either. 

Frank: You know who can take a punch, don't you?  Ted can.  But don't hit him in the face though. 

Britney goes to the living room where poor Ted is sitting innocently.  She starts throwing Ted, and punching and kicking him too.  At one point Frank yells, "Aww! You got him right in the Gooch!"  (what is "the gooch"?)

Britney has talked all summer about how she can't wait to be a mom.  She has also talked incessently about one of her favorite TV shows, Teen Moms.

Here she is, choking Ted out, right there on the living room floor.

 Then she straightens Teds shirt, telling him everything will be alright.  Just like a real mom.

Poor Ted.  He tries to maintain a pleasant look, but you can see the pain in his eyes.

Britney is spent, and is sweating and breathing hard.  If you would have told me 4 weeks ago that I would be rooting for Danielle to stay in the house and send Britney home, I would have thought you were a Big Crazy.  Is it Thursday yet?

Scenes From Yesterday - HOH Picture Time #BB14

I realized this morning that I never posted some pictures I took yesterday of the house guests and their various activities.

Better late than never, I guess.

Yesterday was HOH picture day, and everyone was pretty unenthused about it.  Shane had to get out of bed, and Britney bitched and moaned like there was no tomorrow.   She DID NOT want to participate and was very loud about it.

Jenn, however, was excited.  You can see her in the upper left corner below, taking a picture with Jodi. 

And then she posed holding the POV necklace and a bucket of slop..  She's sporting a pink towel around her waist.  Jenn's not prissy about picture time preparation.  She just goes for it.

They wanted to get a group shot, so Danielle lined up the camera by putting it on a cannister of Muscle Milk and set the timer.  I like the way the BB cameras showed us her camera shot.  Danielle had 10 seconds to rush over and get in the picture.  It worked.  All of the dudes are topless in the photo.

This next picture was Father Dan's idea.  He wanted to pose as if he was putting a knife to Danielle's neck.  She acted upset about it, which is part of their Big Plan.  To act as if they are no longer working together.

Jenn and Danielle took a smiley picture together.  You can see that Danielle knows how to use her hair in a photo session, sweeping it over her shoulder.  (Janelle was famous for that too.)  You can also see Dan in his nasty dirty shorts in the upper right corner here.  Frank asked Dan if he wears any underwear under the shorts and Dan said no.  Seriously, how skeevy is that?  Dan is constantly wearing a pair of shorts he wore nearly everyday during BB10 that have NEVER BEEN WASHED.  And he's sitting on the furniture, and perching on the beds.  That is just effing nasty.

Frank wanted to pose in his carrot costume with Ted, who is still sporting his Spiritard.  I can't imagine how much Frank would be able to sell Ted for on Ebay if he wins this game.  The thing about Frank is, I don't think he would do that.  He'd keep Ted, I think, not just as a souvenir but a part of the family.

 I think Frank looks like a serial killer in this picture.  (Attack of the Killer Carrot.)  Watch Copycat with Harry Connick Junior and see if you agree with me.  That movie also features Holly Hunter, Dermot Mulroney and Sigourney Weaver.  It's a good one.

 Now they urge Frank to put his Carrot Top on Ted.  He does.  It's a good photo.  Afterwards Frank said Ted couldn't wait to get that hat off of his little head.

Because Britney was so vocal about not wanting to participate, the house guests who wanted a picture with her had to approach her and ask permission, like she was a celebrity or something.  She even fake smiled like she really meant it.  She also took pictures with Jenn and Danielle.   Frank continues to look deranged and scary.

Scenes From Yesterday - Joe Bakes Slop Cookies #BB14

I realized this morning that I never posted some pictures I took yesterday of the house guests and their various activities.

Better late than never, I guess.

Yesterday afternoon, Frank cleaned out his stash of beers and drank them all.  He and Ian had planned an afternoon together of "day drinking" this week but that all fell apart on Monday when Jenn used the POV.  Ian proceeded to drink his beers alone that day, yelling that Frank could "fucking forget about the daytime drinking".  (You can see a little of that hot mess here.)

 Anyhoo, Frank got a little buzzed yesterday and saw a plate of slop cookies out on the kitchen counter.  He started eating.  And eating.  And eating.  Yadda yadda yadda the cookies were gone.  He apologized to Jenn, who is a Have Not for the rest of the season.  She said she understood, if she could have a few beers and some of those delicious cookies she would have done it, too.  So Joe baked some more slop cookies for her.

It looks to me that Joe might be putting some contraband in those cookies.  I didn't watch his entire process (like an Eagle Eye, if you will) so I don't know, but that kind of looks like a grated apple to me.  Is that part of the slop diet?  I know the houseguests have learned that it is better not to ask permission about stuff like just do it.

The cookies don't look particularly tasty, but I'm sure they are.   I watched Frank plow through those cookies on BBAD, and I trust Frank's taste judgement.  He's a Foodie.

Shane stayed in bed all day yesterday.  That was his plan, to sleep the day away.  Frank said maybe he was depressed about the choice he had to make this week between Britney and Danielle.  Joe came in and whispered with him. It must not have been very exciting, because I don't remember a word Joe said.

Jenn laid out in the sun.  I have to say that since Jenn won that POV, she's been a different person in the house.   I think she feels like she is a part of things right now.  I thought she was an idiot to try and win the POV when she wasn't even at risk this week, but now Dan is indebted to her, and to Frank.  I'm sure Production was thrilled.  They needed to give her more TV time but had nothing to go on.

FYI, I heard Dan tell the cameras and the live feeders that he does intend to stick with Frank and Jenn for the rest of the game.  He may have had his fingers crossed though.  Father Dan lies.

But anyway Jenn is on slop and protein shakes, and is actually quite chatty with everyone.  I think Jenn could lose 10 - 15 pounds if she stays in the game and on this diet.  And that would make a world of difference in her appearance.  I watched some old videos on YouTube yesterday of Jenn rocking out on stage and she looked skinny.  Skinny's good.  It's a good thing.

 Danielle has a faceful of Crazy in this picture, doesn't she?