Friday, August 17, 2012

Well, Nominations are Over. #BB14

and Mike and Frank are on the block.  They are both in the HOH and they are grilling Shane pretty hard.  He is blaming it on Britney a little, and Frank is getting kind of loud that he could've pulled the trigger on him last week.

Mike points out what is he going to do with $10,000, after taxes.   Shane says everyone tells him Mike and Frank are coming after him.

Mike:  At the end of the day, you're going back to Vermont.  And she's going home to her husband in Oklahoma.  And she's going to take the $500,000 right off your back.

Mike is good at this, sounding friendly but stern.  Insistent.  Frank is letting him talk.

Downstairs in the Arcade Jenn is kind of giggling with Danielle.  She says those guys didn't expect that at all.  They were so chill marching to the table.  And then BAM.

Big Brother After Dark - The New Old HOH - 8-17-12 #BB14

This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Thursday night, and in the wee hours of Friday where I live.

The live show happened earlier this evening, and Wil was evicted.  Shane won the endurance HOH, which involved speed, balance, and cardiovascular strength.  Britney won Safety for the week.  Jenn, Ashley and Dan were also going for the Safety prize, and had to change course quickly when Britney won the prize.

Mike Boogie is the only player who played for $10,000, so he won it easily.  I'm pretty sure Mike will live to regret that decision fairly soon.  But I'm not sure he will actually admit that.


1.  When the show begins, a few of the house guests are sitting around the living room chatting.  Mike, Shane, Frank, Britney, Ian and Danielle were there.  Maybe Dan too.  They discuss Ian's armpits, and talk about how red his skin is in that area.

Then they discuss Joe, who is apparently not in the room.  They discuss how Joe wanted to come in the house "full Guy Fieri", wearing a faux hawk that was the same color as the landing strip on his chin.  Production couldn't go for that, so they made him change the color.

They discuss how Joe made it on the show at the last minute.  Britney didn't know that, so they told her that Joe had called his wife and said he was coming home, and then the next day he ended up going in the house.

(Of course, we know that Mike the Sailing Instructor was featured on the CBS commercial, and was out of the game the very next day.  This must have happened right at the last minute.)

The house guests start guessing which guy from sequester got cut. Several of them think it was the "tall guy with the full sleeve of tats" and Ian says it could be "the old Asian dude".

Production doesn't like anything about this conversation and warns them several times.  The camera change several times to show us Jenn laying in the Boom Boom Room with a bandana over her eyes. You can tell she is pissed off just from looking at the way her jaw is set.

Danielle talks about the many times she fell during the competition.  Ian doesn't think it was an endurance competition, since the last man standing didn't win.  He thinks it was a physical competition and Shane is on the fence about the proper classification.

2.  Britney went off on a tangent about the shitty competition last year where they won the right to see the show "Same Name" with David Hasselhoff.  Mike said that one of the producers of that show also produced Famous Foods and Britney rolled her eyes.  They talk about how stupid that show was.  Jordan won that competition and they ate sushi and watched the show with the Hoff.

Britney discusses the luxury competition in BB12, where the guys fought to grab the same bandanas and they all won the right to watch The Other Guys.  Dan hosted a competition during BB11 and it was horrible.  Dan had fun, but during the downtime of the competition the house guests were really mean to Jeff and were just ripping on him about his spelling error, etc.  Dan said it was really tense and horrible and he couldn't believe it.

Dan told Jeff and Jordan to just keep their heads up, that America loved them.  (I guess they are having the last laugh, huh?)  Jessie Godderz was also there and was not happy to see Dan at all.  No love lost there, after Dan won BB10.

3.  After the commercial Ian is describing how the Wikipedia page for BB lists the voting history, and the different colored bars for each house guest.

Dan:  I'm expecting an elaborate Wikipedia page, with colorful bars and graphs....

Ian:  Oh, our BB14 page will be huge, because of the reset.

They wonder what Wil is doing, and conclude he is likely drinking right now.  Then they discuss BB9 and Ian said that there was "no thinking that year", and they would nominate someone just because they didn't like them.

Ian:  They wanted a cast that would just frickin' was a winter season and they just wanted Showtime to be off the chain.  Half of that cast did, like frickin' drugs, and they gave them a lot of booze..

Shane:  If we had booze, we could rage too..

Ian:  And Dan was supposed to be on BB9.  Can you imagine that?  Father Dan in there with that crowd?

Britney says that Matt Hoffman was supposed to be on BB11 (His wedding was scheduled for the Finale day, so he had to say no.)  Then she starts saying that Dan was told he needed to come in and just "shoot some extra footage". and the cameras change.

We see Frank fast asleep in Skid Row, with a bandana tied over his eyes.

4.  Then we go back to the living room where they are discussing college graduation.  Danielle sat for 4 1/2 hours to wait her turn to walk up and get her degree.  Britney took 16 hours or more every semester in college, and never went to summer school, but still graduated in 3 1/2 years.  She majored in Communications and Spanish and was already working so she did that instead of marching.

Britney says the key is to have both majors be in the same college, so that the classes count towards both programs.  Ian's mom wanted him to back out of BB, and begged him "the night before additional footage" not to do it.  Ian's dad didn't even know.  When Ian was about to go to Semi Finals he asked his dad if he would ever go on a Reality show and his dad made a disparaging comment about it, so they didn't tell him.

Mike asks Sam to please let him go next to the DR, since he is tired and everybody else is a night owl.

Britney's mom went to "the first convention" for the first episode of Survivor.  They told her she couldn't be on the show because she couldn't swim.  But then they cast Gervais on the show and he couldn't swim.  They let him wear a life vest, so after that her mom was pissed and didn't apply again.  For the interview process they did things like bring a monkey in the room to see what she would do around them.

Her Mom is named Teresa, and Britney says her personality is just like her's, except more extreme.  She is really mean to Britney's step dad when he tries to give her innovative gifts.  They asked her what she looks like and Britney says she is attractive.  They have the same body, but her face is different.

She came to the Wrap Party of BB12 but she and Britney were catching up--Britney wanted to know about her house.  Alison and Rich from Production are the ones who told Britney that her house burned down, but we didn't get to hear the exact words that were said.  We saw Frank sleeping instead.

Britney lost some things she couldn't replace, things she bought on her backpacking travels.  And some pictures got charred.  Nothing she lost was very expensive, but there was sentimental value.

***continue reading after the jump***

Frank is Getting Tired of Being Nominated #BB14

Frank:  If I get nominated, I'm going to be mad at Mike Boogie, for going after the cash instead of the HOH!

Frank didn't intend to have to come into the game and win every competition.  Neither did Ian. Now Frank says he needs to keep winning just to keep pace with Shane in case they are the last two at the end.  Then Frank flat out tells Ian he would rather go to the end with Mike, rather than Ian or Shane!  I think he used the word "obviously", too. 

Ian just bobs up and down and takes it in stride.

Frank made the comment about being mad at Mike in a joking tone, but it won't be a joke later on tonight.  Inside the house, Mike is making chicken fajitas and everyone chatters away like they don't have a care in the world, including Mike.

I'm not a fashion critic, but that's not a good look for Mike Boogie.  It feels like we're seeing a nip slip--the kind you try to look away from as quickly as possible.

And raw chicken is always nasty.  Did you see that the USDA is planning to reduce the amount of oversight over poultry standards?  If you knew how badly chickens are mistreated now, you would be appalled that they plan to make things even worse.  I could give a shit what Chick-Fil-A thinks about gay marriage, but I do care about the millions of tiny feathered lives they are responsible for decimating.

OK.  Sorry for the anti-meat tirade.

Mike Boogie Won't See This Coming #BB14

He has been out in the pool with Ian, Ashley, Dan and Frank, telling tales about his time on BB All Stars.  The feeds have been interrupted constantly by much of the juicy conversation.

I think he was talking about either Erika Landin or Gretchen from Housecalls, saying that "she still won't speak to me".  He said, "Dr. Will even called in and"  ***FISH***

He talked about Bunky, who was one of the All Star potential players who was left standing on the BB steps and didn't get to go in the house.  Apparently Bunky is very bitter about that, claiming that Marcellas was chosen to be the "token gay" of the BB7 season.

Mike:  You know, everybody always thinks they are more than they are....

(ha ha ha ha cue sinister music  ha ha ha)

Ian says that Lisa Donahue from BB3 should have come in the house over Erika.  Mike says that Erika is a good player, making it very far twice.

Mike:  She plays a great silver medal game.

He spoke of the incredible tension in the house after "the girls figured it out" and Janelle evicted Dr. Will.  He said he was in the DR for a long time.

Ian plans to watch a few episodes of BB14 per day until he sees the entire thing.  Mike didn't watch the entire BB7 series like that---he just saw "chunks of it".

Meanwhile, in the bathroom Danielle, Shane and Britney plotted Mike's demise.  Shane mentioned that Mike had a Bentley that he sold when he had the baby.

Shane also implied that he knew Mike would be on the show this year, saying he read things on the internet.  He started to say he read that Will refused to do BB7 unless Mike was cast also, but BB interrupted that statement with FISH.

Shane also referenced the drug rumors, asking "isn't Mike a big partier?".  Britney said yes, but he has a baby now and is older.

Britney:  Did I tell  you about his genital warts?


And you'll love this one:

Shane was planning to "be gay this year and pull that card" on the show.  Both girls jaws dropped.

Shane:  You know, because the gay guys are friendly with everybody, and don't pose a's not true, of course.  And I didn't want to be portrayed to America as the gay guy....

Danielle:  Wil was a threat..

Shane:  But not until the end...

Danielle told them that last night just before the live show, Mike asked her if she was ready to win if it was an endurance challenge.  Danielle said yes and he asked her if she was ready to make a Big Move.  He implied that Shane and Britney needed to go on the block.

Shane and Britney both nodded and said "Um Hummm".

Then Dan came in from the pool, saying that Mike is out there telling old stories that aren't good for his game.  I think he is telling stories about turning on people that would make Frank nervous.  And he said that all Wil was interested in was self-promotion.

Dan:  And then I came right in's his business if he wants to self promote...if he wants to PUNCH IT IN!

They all laugh.

Britney's Snack, Featuring theTriscuit Box #BB14

The Triscuit box gets some good camera time with Britney Haynes, who is enjoying them dipped into a container of hummus.

Britney had a hard time with Have Not week.  After she won the Safety last night she immediately started obsessively worrying about whether she would be safe from slop, as well as nominations.

Finally Production told her that there would be no Have Nots this week.

The ants are back, too, and are crawling all over the sink.

You can see Jenn shuffling around in one of the pictures up there.  She thinks the problem with her back is that she fell square on her mic pack last night.  Her back really hurts.  She's been icing it, and taking Advil.  She announced a little while ago that if it still hurts after 24 hours, she will "do something about it".

Don't wait too long, Jenn, to lay the groundwork for your back care plan.  You're not the one whose idea it was to scurry back and forth for 90 minutes on a slick layer of Crisco.  Here she is putting the ice pack back in the freezer.  Their refrigerator has french doors, you know, with the freezer on the bottom.

Danielle came in the kitchen and poured a glass of Sprite.  Britney thought the fizzing sounded refreshing, so she poured herself some, too.  She pre-complained about it though, assuming it would not be fresh enough to meet her lofty standards.

They decided to snack on the bathroom lounge.  Danielle is eating Breton crackers.

Shane came in and they whispered about what he should do with Pandora's Box.  She is instructing him on the way to lie to hide winning a special power or a sizable prize.  Basically she tells him to pretend it is a money tree and quote some strange amount as the prize.

Julie Chen is Fed Up with the Asskissing #BB14

This interview was conducted by Entertainment Weekly by Lynette Rice.  I'm glad someone is addressing this---Dan was WAY OUT OF LINE with his smarmy comments to our Julie when he cast his vote last night.  It was even worse than the week before, which I didn't think possible.

And I think Frank needs to stop calling her "Jules".  Do you think Jeff Schroeder would do that?  Hell to the no. Show some respect, assholes. 

AGP has been put on notice by Ms. Chen for them to cease and desist with that crap. It's way too late for Alison Grodner to nip it in the bud, she needs to drench this problem with Round Up at this point.

And Julie says Frank wanted to "get some" off Ashley, and called him "Boogie's Flunkie". And she also found the time to slam Christie Brinkley's legs!  Tell it, Julie!

You can see the interview on the EW website here.

Shane and Dan, the Chenbot’s got a bone to pick with you!

Host Julie Chen doesn’t appreciate the endless stream of compliments she’s receiving during the live Big Brother shows. In EW’s weekly chat, Chen addresses the unwanted attention, plus Frank’s game play and who won HOH.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY There was a whole lot of kissing up to the Chenbot last night, including references to your looks and Jenn asking if you had a sister. Do the houseguests think sucking up to the host will help them in the game?

JULIE CHEN It’s a waste of time. I told the producers, you’ve got to clamp that down! It’s getting obsequious. I think they are getting too comfortable with the Chenbot. I cracked the door open with my big toe and now they are busting it wide open. This is my house! Show some respect.

Did Frank make a mistake not back-dooring Dan?

No I think he played it right. Boogie has been giving him the best advice, and had he back-doored Dan it would have been just the two of them against the entire house.

What do you think about Shane winning HOH?

It can be interesting. I think the last time Shane was HOH he got a little drunk with power because he listens to everything Britney says. Britney can push him to make a bold move. I think he all he needs is a little egging on and ego stroking, like, ‘you can change the course of this game, you can be remembered as the one who got Boogie. If he was smart, he would draw a line in stand now. I would work out deal with Joe, and work on plan to go after Frank or Boogie.

Why do you think Frank made out with Ashley? Do you think he likes her or just wants to curry favor?

I think neither. He took her comment about her need for testosterone as a come-on line. Suddenly he was like, ‘you’re cute enough. I’m going to get some.’ It was a pure hormonal male move. I don’t think he is pining away.

Frank is so tethered to Boogie, he wore Boogie’s shirt that featured a picture of Boogie’s son! Will that hurt him in the long run?

I don’t think it will ultimately hurt him. At times he has shown that he has a mind of his own, like he wanted to backdoor Dan. Nothing could hurt him more in this game. He’s already a big target because he’s good at physical challenges and he’s Boogie’s flunkie, so I think people just
looked at the shirt, rolled their eyes, and thought, typical.

Why did you guys decide to break from form and share pop culture trivia with the houseguests? Doesn’t that violate what Big Brother is all about?

Yes expect the unexpected! It was harmless information. If anything, it was the shot in the arm. We are past the halfway point. Yes, we did break traditional rules, but now is as good of time as any. It’s season 14!

Last question: the Zingbot was in rare form this week, especially when it slammed Danielle. If the Zingbot went after your body glitter, would you take it hard?

I would laugh harder than I already do. I make own jokes. I don’t how it looks until I get home! I don’t want Christie Brinkley legs, either. She was our lead guest on The Talk, and we thought she would talk about her nasty divorce. But she walked in with tan, oil slick legs! Now every time I am too greasy I tell hair and makeup, don’t give me Christie Brinkley legs!

Shane: I Don't Want to See a Coach Win This Game #BB14

He is talking to Joe in the HOH suite.   He's going to wipe that smirk right off Mike Boogie's face today with his nominations.  I think he may nominate Dan, too.  He's going to tell them to try hard to win the POV.  Or maybe Frank and Mike...anyway...

Shane:  Even if one of them wins the POV, we still control the votes.

Joe says to keep an eye on Jenn, and watch what he tells her.  He thinks she goes right back to Mike with info.

You can see the picture of Shane's bulldog in the background.  I think this is the dog he lost but loves so much.

Joe says that he told Ashley this morning that if she is safe this week, she needs to protect Shane for one week.  He made it clear that she needed to "pick a fucking side, and stick with it".  He told her "this is not fucking Janelle---you need to be loyal now."


Mike Boogie's BB Mid-Season Scouting Report #BB14

Mike decides to give the fans a scouting report on each player in the middle of the season.  (Preesh, Mike.)


Frank:  Good player, loves him.  He's been the Dr. Will of the season for Mike so far.

Ian:  Great kid.  Don't have bad things for him personally, but he's not the best at competitions.  Not giving him shit for the phyiscal competition last night, but he's missed the Q & A.  Doesn't want to sit next to him in the end--he is too loveable and will give a good speech. He's done a good job with Julie Chen's questions.

Jenn:  He needs to keep her around.  She lost Wil, and needs validation and assurance.  He thinks she is missing something in life--maybe it's the dual households or something.  Mike Boogie can offer that assurance---he's not just a cold assassin like we think he is.  He is setting Jenn as a mini-goal for today--he's going to work on her.  He doesn't see her winning a contest---she tries hard.  And she's a good person.

Ashley:  Sweet, sweet girl.  He loves Ashley.  She had a horrible back injury and only complained---***FISH***---and she's just a sweetheart.  She would be his dream contestant to sit next to in the Final Two.  She is likeable and will coast and he'd like to take her to the end.   She is similar to Chicken George as far as being non-threatening in the final competitions.

Chef Joe:  He's been there a few weeks longer than he should have.  But he has him just where he wants him---Joe thinks Frank and Mike saved him and he is confident and feels loyalty to them.  A few sly winks in his direction really went a long way for Mike.   Joe might stab them in the back, and he might get nominated today.  But if he wins the POV, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.  (It might be, Mike.)

Shane:  He is Captain America and is one of the sickest athletes Mike has ever been around.  He is a beast and Mike knows that he is no where near Shane's physical level, but Shane's competitive spirit is on par with Mike's.  He thinks that the two of them running up and down together last night held value for Shane--even though Mike was cruising to an easy win that meant something to Shane.  Mike would like to keep him, if Britney is not around.  If he's there, he and Frank can always point to Shane's 5 of 11 wins so far in the game as a huge unbeatable threat.  He does not want to compete with him in the Final Four, or sit next to him at the end.  Mike will not let that happen.

(I did hear Shane and Mike talking about pacing each other last night.)

Mike took a quick break to refill his protein shake but came right back as promised to finish his report.

Danielle:  Nice girl---definitely cast in the Jordan role.  And big shout out to Jordan and Jeff Schroeder.  I've never met them, but I'd like to hang out with them.  Someone please tweet Jeff and ***FISH***.  Now he is talking about getting Danielle to use the POV to get rid of Janelle.  She is the kind of player that you treat as a robot or a video game.  Mike kind of used the joystick on Danielle to control her that week.  She's a warrior, she was a cheerleader and did pageants in the South---he knows that is a competitive world like no other, so she's tough.  He would have liked to see her go for safety against Britney last night.  He likes her and the position she's in--he's done a good job of buddying up with her about evicting Janelle and her family situation.  One of Mike's mini-goals is to listen to her this weekend talk about her family and brother.  She can get a little long-winded, but it's worth it to Mike.


We didn't get to hear his assessment of Dan and Britney, and he said he was saving the other coaches for last.  I think BB asked Mike to clean the bathroom windows.  When we saw him next he was cleaning them and saying "yeah, they are dirty!".

OK--Mike is back now and apologizes for the interruption.  He says sometimes you have to do a few chores.

Britney:  I have a love-hate relationship with Britney.  She's a classic complainer, so sometimes that is fun to commiserate with her.  But sometimes it is a little too much.  She's never really happy, even when she's happy.  She's super cool, and mature yet immature.  She's a career woman, married, lived in NYC, but is also messy, leaving stuff around.  A little bit of the Princess factor in that she eats a little, drinks a little, and leaves her half-finished cups and plates everywhere.  I expect more from people who are married, as opposed to kids like Ian.  She's been out of school for three years now--wash your fucking cups and plates.  Now, Britney's gameplay   ***FISH***

Damn.  I think its the wake up call.  But if I get to hear the rest I will come back and update.

Mike Discusses Wil and Danielle #BB14

Mike wants to discuss Wil's big exit last night, and his lies about his profession.  When Wil left he said, "I'm nobody's marketing consultant!".

Mike:  Now, maybe I'm a jaded LA resident, but it is far more impressive to say you are a working marketing consultant than someone with failed record deals.  In LA, that's not such a big deal.  I just don't understand lying about that.


Mike:  Last night when we were sitting around waiting for Shane's HOH key, we were talking about Wil's actual life, and someone said they don't understand people who lie about their professions in the Big Brother house.  I was staring at Danielle when that was said, but she couldn't see my eye line based on where I was on the couch, you can watch the tape on that, but she froze for a minute, and her eyes were open wide.  I'm pretty sure that due to her age and personality, she's a nurse.  I don't know why she would lie about that.  Now, if she was 30, and a nurse practicioner, I might be able to justify the lie based on the income discrepancies.  But at her age, don't a nurse and a kindergarten teacher make about the same money?  Danielle is growing on me a little, after her assistance with my ear problems, and I did appreciate that.  But I don't understand these lies...maybe they're just newbies.

Mike thanks Big Brother for the news about current events--he doesn't remember that happening in past seasons but it gives them something to talk about now and he appreciates it.

(I think it was good, too.)

Mike discusses the Dwight Howard trade and needs more information---he knows the Lakers wouldn't just get Howard without giving something up.  He's not a Lakers fan, he's a Celtics fan all the way.  Mike knows that Dwight is 6'11". 

Mike talks about what we see when we google him by his real name, Mike Malin.  He says first you see the restaurants, then you see BB, then you see all of the hatred (Mike:  Sticks and stones...).  But if you add NASA to Mike's name, you will see another person with the same name.  **FISH**

Mike would like to send Britney to the Jury first, since that is the worst position.  He wants her to just sit in her bitterness and stew in it.

Mike in the Morning #BB14

Mike Boogie is the first one up today, as usual.  I'm sure the house guests will be nursing some aches and pains today.  I went to bed on the East Coast just as the HOH competition was ending, and supposedly Jenn was in A LOT of pain.  She made a comment about why BB didn't have them wear back braces before a competition like that and we went to FISH.

How fast do you think BB will get a doctor there to see her today?  Doesn't a bass player in a band need to be able to move about freely?  One word to Jenn Arroyo:  Cha-Ching.

You don't create a Crisco-covered surface for them to race on without intending to make them fall a few times.  I'm not a personal injury attorney, but if I were Jenn I would be taking a few meetings.

OK.  Mike got up and went to the WC, and as you can see he walked right past those sinks without using them.  And then he went in the kitchen and made coffee.  (He might as well just rub his junk on the coffee pot, right?  **gross**)

He applied ear drops and laid down for a few minutes to let them do their magic.  Then he continued his morning routine, mixing a coffee-protein shake and sitting on the couch to speak with us.

Mike speaks:

Mike:  Good morning, internet fans.  And as usual, a big hello to Kim Grant, Vance, and Dr. Will Kirby.  I'm sure some of you know what happened last night.  Britney won the safety with her operatic performance with her quick little feet.  Shane won the HOH---no big surprise there.  And I won 10 grand.  I'm feeling pretty good now.  Hopefully with Frank saving them last week we'll be safe this week.  No need to win that HOH.  But I guess no one knows....Britney may be able to talk him into something, but he won't do it on his own.  My confidence level?  Oh....about a 9 this week.  It would be a 10, if it were just for Shane.  Britney's no dummy...

Mike puts down the awnings at the request of BB and has trouble with one of the knots.

Mike:  Jesus.  Who thinks they are on America's Cup with this knot?