Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Poker and Paranoia 8-8-12 #BB14

This episode aired at 9:00 pm BBT on Tuesday night, but in the wee hours of Wednesday where I lived.

Janelle  is still on the block, politely trying to win votes.  Personally, I think she needs to pull the mean card and start badmouthing Frank and Mike.  Because nice isn't going to cut it at this point, I don't think.


1.  The show opens with Janelle sitting in the Arcade Room talking with Joe and Ashley about the vote.  Poor Janelle thinks she has Ashley's vote and Ashley doesn't correct her.  She actually makes a comment about how Frank knows to not even try and get Ashley's vote, she so solidly behind Janelle.  Sadly I do not believe this is true.

2.  Now we see Britney and Danielle chatting in the HOH suite.  Danielle is trying to find out who Britney thinks will be America's Choice at the end of the season, winning the $25K.  Britney says she thought Matt would win her season, because he was making her laugh all of the time.  But she didn't know about the lies he told, and what a big deal was made out of them.

Danielle wants to know why Britney thought Matt would win.  I'm guessing Danielle thinks she will win this year, but I must stress I haven't heard her say that.  Yet.

She has apparently told Britney that she is indeed a nurse, but didn't want to tell everybody because the HG would think she was rich.

Britney:  But why wouldn't you say you're just a nurse?  It's not like you're some big rich doctor--nobody would think that.

Danielle:  But nurses make a lot of money!

(She's not an RN yet, I don't think.)

3.  Now we see Shane and Mike working out hard in the backyard.  Shane is wearing tube socks and they are both sweating profusely.

Now we go to the storage room, where Ashley is whispering to Wil and Jenn (Team Tits) about her conversation with Janelle.  Wil is mocking Janelle.  (I still like Wil, but damn he is mean.)

After the commercial we see them pouring cold bubbly beer into wine glasses.  Jenn has mixed Tecate and Coors together and they all like it.   The beer drinkers include Team Tits, Ian and Dan. Danielle, Britney and Janelle took a bottle of red wine out to the hot tub.

So, boozing is in progress.

Dan is putting candies out and assigning values to them, so they can play a game I guess.  It looks like they have also fashioned playing cards out of the game that they had earlier---questions on cards now have numbers and colors like a deck of cards.

They go outside to the hot tub and Wil gets the girls plastic cups for the wine---they aren't allowed to have glasses out by the pool or hot tub.  Janelle apologizes to BB.  (All of the haters in the house mock her for that every chance they get.)

4.  Janelle wonders if there is sequel to Hunger Games coming out and Wil says they are filming it now.  Janelle couldn't finish the third book, and Wil couldn't finish the second one.  Hunger Games reminds Janelle of Big Brother, and the second book is like All Stars.

Danielle:  Don't tell me--I haven't read it yet.

Wil:  Don't worry--that wasn't a spoiler.

(Hey Danielle, Mike Boogie won the Hunger Games!)

Janelle spilled her whole glass of red wine in the hot tub and is upset about it.  Wil will never take having a lot of beer for granted again.  If Janelle is evicted she is going to drink a whole bottle of wine in her hotel room.  (They have to stay overnight in a hotel with a security guard after they leave the house.)

They start asking Janelle about media appearances and Wil seems to think they will fly to NYC for the Early Show.  They don't think that is the case anymore since Julie Chen is on The Talk. Janelle tells them that only the winner and the Fan Favorite get to visit the talk shows in person.  Everything else is taped.

She tells them last year when Rachel won Julie Chen said to look for her on The Talk the next day.  (You can read about that here and watch the video.)

She started to tell them that when she appeared on Regis and Kelly that Regis didn't know anything about BB and was asking some stupid questions.  We didn't get to hear the rest, unfortunately, because the cameras shifted.

Danielle offered Janelle some of her wine and Janelle was grateful.

5.  The guys set up the dining table to play cards and Mike gets glass bowls for each player's "stack" of "chips".

(Last year Rachel made playing cards out of teabags and nail polish.  It was pretty creative.)

Ian is trying to make a pizza in a skillet and expects it to be a disaster, "worst than lunchables".  Shane likes lunchables.  Mike preheated the oven and is going to help Ian put the pizza directly on a rack.  Ian worries about that--it might fall apart.  I think he's going for a cookie sheet instead.

They have Rachel Ray cookware.  You know, with the orange handles.  Mike says that workout with Shane was tough but if he did that every day in the house it would have been killer.

6.  Outside at the hot tub they were talking about some club that Janelle used to party at--she had so many great nights there where she says she was "clueless". Jenn says the girls from Danity Kane used to hang out there too and that Aubrey O'Day was hot.

In the HOH Danielle is acting sloppy as Shane is ready to shower.  She told Shane she drank the entire bottle of wine, except for a "half glass" she gave to Britney.  I think she is referring to the bottle of white wine from her HOH room.  Britney and Janelle were drinking the red wine from the storage room.

Danielle is going to play poker and wants a "good kiss" from Shane if she wins.  He tells her he "will marinate" on it and says Dan is coming up there.  (Poor Shane.)  He says the group might play poker up in the HOH and she's not happy about it.

Danielle blames Janelle for saying at the hot tub that the two of them are in a showmance.  (For some reason she is upset about this.)

Dani:  Britney and I were just looking at each other--I knew she was going to do that.  She was sayin' people are calling me Shanelle.

Shane:  They're not saying that.  At least I get to come before you.  It's not Danane, ro something like that.

Danielle is pissed at him and is pouting that Shane won't admit the showmance.  You know, the one she is angry at Janelle for perpetuating.

7.  Outside they talk about Gossip Girl and then Vampire Diaries.  Janelle said she dated the one "with the blue eyes and brown hair".  They worked for the same modeling agency and he was very nice.  He was from Alabama.  (No idea who she is talking about.)

Now they talk about Chase Crawford and how his sister is married to Tony Romo.  Wil was "working a Chanel launch party in SoHo" and the entire cast of Gossip Girls was there.  Wil was embarrassed to be serving them.  One of the girls slammed a drink down on another waiter's tray and yadda yadda yadda it sounds like Wil dropped his tray too.  We went to commercial and afterwards at the end of the story Wil was asking the Gossip Girl actresses if they wanted anything else to drink and someone came up and told him not to speak with them directly.  (ha ha ha)

Now in the HOH Shane is finished with the shower and Mike is ready to go in.  Danielle says it's okay if he takes one up there.  Shane is all clean now and Danielle is still face down on the bed, seemingly buzzed.

Danielle is pouting and Shane tries to guess what's wrong. Is is her mother?  Her father?  Big Brother?  She says no to all, but says it is kind of about Big Brother.  (Duh..she's pouting about Shane not wanting to kiss her.)

She says she is good at Texas Hold 'Em but asks Shane to review the rules with her.  She needs to know what a Royal Flush is and he snickers and says she's screwed.  (In the poker game Danielle, don't get excited.)

Danielle is out of things to say, so she tells Mike and Shane that "Janelle yelled at me because I didn't drink when she wanted me to drink".  (??)

Mike:  Oh, she's the boss of you now, huh?

OMG.   Now Danielle is making an issue out of Janelle wanting to do the Brazillian Butt workout with her.

Danielle:  I professionally.  I don't have to go around and do that..

Mike:  Did you do it though?

Danielle:  Yes.

They laugh at her.  (Didn't she nominate Janelle because Janelle wouldn't work out with her?)

(Is she a professional dancer now?)

***continue reading after the jump***

Scenes From Janelle's Afternoon #BB14

Because it really should be all about her for the next two days, right?

Janelle described all of her wedding outfits for Wil.  It sounded like she changed a few times during the event. 

The dress had diamond-type trim across the top of her chest.

 She had a shoulder-length veil that she described as Barbie Doll, and I think a tiara for the reception.


Wil looks pissed in the picture but was engaged in the conversation.  Janelle is storing all of her dresses in a closet and they take up a lot of room.  Wil gave her some advice on storing them.  Janelle doubts that Violet will want to wear one of her wedding dresses, but says maybe she will take pieces of them to make her own wedding gown.

Janelle talked to Dan in the Arcade room and said Shane promised to vote for her.  Dan said if Shane really was going to, he would to.  Dan didn't "have time to discuss the vote with Britney or Danielle" yet.  I can't tell if Janelle really believed him or not.  (I hope not.)  Dan went right outside and told Mike that Janelle wants to know.

Dan:  Why?  Why does she want to know?

Mike:  Well, I guess she didn't care when she was scumbagging me...I mean, when she TRIED to scumbag me! 

Mike reminded Dan that you can't tell people who you are voting for, but Dan said he wanted to tell her as a Coaches consideration, or something like that.

Janelle laid outside and chatted with Ian and Britney.  This might be her last day outside of the BB house, if the backyard is locked down tomorrow.


Maybe we will get to see Violet on the live show. I'm hoping we will get to hear commentary from Janelle throughout the rest of the season.  It wasn't supposed to end this way.

This is Danielle's Real "Boyfriend" #BB14

She just said his full name on the live feeds.  I hate to do this to him, but he needs to protect himself from Danielle.

He has until September 19th to put an appropriate security plan in place.

Note:  She discusses her "relationship" with Trey here.

Danielle Obsesses About Shane #BB14

 Now Britney and Danielle are back together in the HOH.  Danielle is eating cereal and complaining about Janelle speaking to her downstairs.

Britney:  If we were out of the house right now, I would tell you that Shane is a douche and I would say to never speak to him again.  If he was your boyfriend I would never like him or be happy you are with him.

Danielle says that Shane is "terrified of the word showmance" and she just wants to hang out and have fun, but that Shane keeps "bringing up his feelings for her and feels bad about it".

(I'm working on my recap of of last night's BBAD, and that is not what happened AT ALL.)

Britney:  Not to be a Negative Nancy, but the two of you having any sort of relationship or romance are next to nil.  Well, Jeff and Jordan did it...

Dani:  And Brendon and Rachel did it..

Britney:  But she moved to LA for him.  And there was no hot and cold about their relationship.  They were both together all the way and didn't care who knew it.

Now Dani brings out "Trey", whoever the hell that is.  Maybe another one of her "boyfriends" at home?

Britney wanted to hear the whole story, but BB didn't want us to hear it.  Maybe it would violate some sort of restraining order or something.

I mean, "allegedly".

Now Danielle says she told the DR "do NOT put a picture of Trey in my HOH room".

She spent 2-3 days with Trey the week before she got kidnapped for the show.  Britney is asking questions that I think are designed to determine if Danielle is a really a psycho outside of the house.

He has dimples and is very good looking.  She says that HE was the one that always wanted to kiss her goodbye.

Britney wants to know the "red flags" with Trey.  Danielle says there weren't any, and starts describing some sort of lake party that he took her to with his ex-girlfriend there.  The ex-girlfriend had a great body and an ugly face and wasn't nice to Danielle.

Danielle:  The fact that he took me there!  And we've been to the bar together and I didn't know that she was the bartender there....and I'm wearing scrubs when we go, because I'm a "charge nurse" because even though I'm so young I am in charge of other people, but boy does he look good in scrubs..

Danielle is tearing up over "Trey", saying that he holds her hand, and likes taking pictures with her, etc.  Trey did not treat her like Shane.

Now Danielle is not worried about Shane, but is worried if Trey will want to be involved with her anymore, after her being on the show and "all of the kissing".

Danielle:  If he had just asked me to be his girlfriend before we came here, none of this would ever have happened!  I would have aligned with Shane, and been under the same covers like I do with Dan, but nothing else!  He might just think I'm a fatass on TV!  Is he even going to want me after this?

(Damn this bitch is crazy!)

Britney Tells Danielle Mike Knows #BB14

She tells Danielle that Mike knows she is a nurse.  He gave the following information to support his guess:

*  She knew a lot about some drugs they discussed, and talked about kilograms of meds
*  She talked a lot about kilocalories
*  She knew how to use the medical tape yesterday--I guess she taped up the basketball (?)
*  She is not a morning person (AT ALL) and says if she was a teacher she would be used to getting up early

Danielle says "Ding Ding Boogie" and says she is a nurse and a medical student. 

Danielle:  But what is he saying about me being a nurse?

Britney:  Nothing really.  But people were talking about this in the early weeks of the game, so I assume he has talked about it.  He's more intuitive then you think.

Britney wants a Shane update from last night.

Danielle:  He's so afraid of his feelings for me...he just puts up a wall and is mean to me!


Now she is saying that Shane doesn't know what she really does, and he doesn't know that she can "travel like that"  (snaps).  She knows he was hurt by some girl in North Carolina, but she doesn't want to live her life in fear.

Britney:  Well, if he's being a douche to you, my advice is...

Danielle:  To be a bitch?

Briney:  No, but if he's going to be a douche to you, then just give up on the romantic part of it.

Danielle:  But when I backed off that time, he was so sweet to me!

Britney:  Because he wants you to be into him..that's how they are.

Danielle goes on an on.  Britney says there are two aspects to this.  If they were in the real world, Britney would tell her to cool off and hang out as friends.  Danielle says she's tried to do that.

Britney:  Well, when he asks you to cuddle with him, say no!  You can be cute about it, but say no!

She wisely tells Danielle there is nothing she can do to fix things now.  She is just setting herself up to get hurt.  After this is over and he goes back to Vermont, then she can figure it out.  Everything Britney says, Danielle says she already knows, and it's not her...she's not trying to make out with him, stop trying to hold her hand, stop giving her mixed signals, just stop.

(I thought she was mad because he was mean to her...that doesn't sound mean to me.)

Danielle:  Both times we've kissed, he's initiated it!  He's the one who came out to the ship to kiss me!

Britney tries to calm her down.  The DR is waiting for Danielle and she is trying to slap makeup on.  Britney asks "Caleb" to call someone else in there and we get FISH.

Evel Dick's Banging Intro #BB14

OK. If you read this blog you know that I recap Evel Dick's Dick at Nite show.  And I always go on and on about how I love the opening of the show.

Turns out the opening of the show is the first 51 seconds of this reel that I found on You Tube.  According to Dick a guy named Mike Myles from CBS put this reel together for Dick to present to talent agencies.  The background song is Evil Dick by Body Count.  (I asked Dick on Twitter yesterday about the song and he told me the artist.)  Body Count is Ice T's band, and now that Dick told me that I can clearly tell that the voice belongs to Ice -T.

This is nearly 2 1/2 minutes long, so it includes some other clips, but you get the picture. If you are an Evel Dick lover or hater, you will find something to entertain you here.

Get ready to chair dance.

Well, before I posted this, I decided to do some research into Ice T's song.  I wondered if he wrote it about Evel Dick.  I found the lyrics, and I have to say "No" to that.  The song is not about Evel Dick Donato, but appears to be about Ice T's penis.

I've heard Evel Dick say CBS was going to use this song in the background of one of their shows, but then they decided  not to.  I can see why now.  Here are the partial lyrics.  This may be the nastiest thing I ever post here, besides my commentary about the smutty shows on Showtime.

I will still chair dance now.  I won't let the lyrics stop me.

Jeff and Jordan Do America - Episode 2

No one is awake yet on the live feeds, and I am certainly procrastinating about doing my real job, so I am taking a refreshing break to watch another episode of this amusing show.  It is well produced and the episodes are only 5-6 minutes long, so I don't have to guilt trip myself too much about it.
In this episode, it appears that Jordan will enjoy a corndog.  Let's all dig in.  They start at Buckingham Fountain, which is apparently the beginning of Route 66.  I think this is the fountain you see at the beginning of Married With Children.  It is right by the waterfront near the Bears stadium and the Shedd Aquarium in downtown Chicago.  Jordan tells Jeff she feels like they are already married, and then she tells us that she hopes he will propose in year or two...sometime.

Slow down there Jeff.  For gods sake don't rush into anything.  You've only been dating for three years.

They bicker about who is the worst driver, and Jordan apparently takes a three hour nap in the car and says she's tired and hungry.  Hint:  Here comes the corndogs.

Jeff has called up the good people at this corndog restaurant and they have agreed to let them make their own lunch. It is called Cozy Dogs, according to Jeff, but that's not what the sign said.  Jordan had two of them, they were so good.

Then they went to Henry's Rabbit Ranch.  Rich from the Ranch asks Jeff his favorite question about when he is going to  marry Jordan.  They signed the guest book but I didn't see them play with any rabbits.   I am happy to report I didn't see them kill or eat any rabbits, either.  As a matter of fact, I don't remember seeing any rabbits at all.

Then Jordan has a surprise for Jeff.  They are visiting her grandparents, whom Jeff hasn't met yet.  I hope I am not violating Jordan's privacy by publishing this map.

Well, Papaw isn't much on Jeff's cohabitation plan, apparently, and is going to give him a good talking-to in the next episode.  I can hardly wait, but I will wait to watch it.  It's a nice break from my day to see people so carefree and relaxed about life.

This might be the same grandpa that told Jordan "no booger" before BB11, but I'm not sure.

Dick at Nite - Feat. Ronnie Talbot & Lawon Exum 8-1-12 #BB14

Evel Dick introduces Ronnie Talbott as one of the most hated houseguests of all time.  And Lawon as the guy who thought he would get evicted and have superpowers.  This episode was taped the evening before the Coaches came back into the game.  (So they don't know yet what happened with the twist, and that Danielle won HOH.)


1.  Dick asks Ronnie who is more hated, Maggie (BB6), Natalie (BB11) or himself.  Ronnie thinks long and hard about that question.  Dick says that Maggie has disappeared and is not present on any kind of social media at all.

Lawon, clueless:  Is it that serious?

Dick:  There were death threats.  Seriously.

Ronnie:  When I put up Jeff someone threatened to cut my wife up into little pieces and throw her in the river.  It's the Jeff fans--they're psycho bitches!

Dick summarizes that Shelly was also threatened when she voted to evict Jeff.   Then he says sarcastically that most of their fans are wonderful people...or Lawonderful people.  Lawon loves that.  Lawon understood that.

2.  Dick says last year Lawon was the DR Screamer, but Joe has outdone him this year.  Lawon says last year he was excited to be there, but he doesn't know what Joe is up to.  Dick and Ronnie laugh the entire time Lawon talks.  Maybe they're laughing with him.  Uh huh.

3.  Dick says that this chef, this mothfucker, is not washing his hands when he comes out of the bathroom and everyone online is talking about it.  (ha ha ha)  Now Dick brings up that filthy porno Coach's Comp, and Lawon shows us his tongue.  Now Dick has to demonstrate his view of things.

Can you see that?  Now Dick says people online are expressing pity for Dan's wife, due to his poor oral skills.  Dick hates to be the messenger--this is just what everybody is saying.

4.  Dick brings up Michael O'Sullivan, who managed all of the competitions from BB2 through last year.  He jumped ship to the sinking ship that is Glass House.  Dick says their rating was .6 last week, and will probably adjust that downwards.  He says that Bachelor Pad runs 5 minutes over to get people to tune into Glass House and once they quantify that they will adjust the ratings down.

So Dick is blaming the new competitions on the new guy.  The POV tonight gets panned as well.  I don't remember which one Dick is talking about.  Oh it is the one where they had to keep two balls on the tracks.  Dick liked the theme and the outfits, but the execution was poor and unimaginative.

5.  Dick isn't finding the humor in Britney this year.  He thinks she is too snarky.  Lawon has to start every comment with "I'm gonna be honest wit'chu".  He feels that, to be honest wit'chu, he doesn't think people are being honest, and he's comparing that to his own season, to be honest wit'chu, and then he starts talking about his old grandfather and what he thinks about everything.

So, Lawon's grandfather feels it is "hard to follow".   Uh huh.  Here are Dick and Ronnie listening to Lawon speak.  Everyone is confused.

Lawon just saw Jenn on the show for the first time and wonders "where she at?"  Then he says they bring up her "gay moment" and he didn't like it.  Ronnie says that Ian is worried about being liked by America instead of being himself.

6. They agree that the newbies aren't getting enough camera time---we aren't getting to know them so we can root for them. 

7.  Evel Dick says that Wil is shaping up to be a worse competitor than Enzo.  And then he starts talking about Shane...let's see.  He brought up Shane's comment to Janelle about loving Chanel earrings.  (Janelle was offering her wedding ring as collateral and mentioned she had Chanel earrings and Shane immediately said 'I love Chanel earrings!')

Dick:  Maybe he thinks they will look good with his pink tops!

Even Lawon wouldn't touch that comment with a 10 foot pole.  Dick agreed to move the conversation along.   Lawon clarifies that he likes Chanel earrings too, but only for his niece.

8.  They talk about how hard the competitors were in BB13--Danielle Donato, Brendon, Rachel, Jeff.  They then compared the competitive landscape to BB14---with JoJo, Ian, Jenn, etc.  The point is that Shane is coming off as very competitive, but the field of competitors isn't that tough.

9.  Ronnie would not answer Dick's point blank question about whether he likes this season or not.  He said he is detached for the first time this year.  He is just watching it.  He says he watches BB for the drama, for the craziness and without Willie that might not be there anymore.  Ronnie says that he still has pent up disappointment from BB13 because he wanted to see Evel Dick tee off on Brendon and Rachel.

Dick points out that the fact is that Jeff said "boo" to Rachel and she went into the bushes and cried.  He thinks she would have tried to kill herself if he went after her.  He knows that he and Jeff would have gotten into it---he says Jeff has a HUGE ego but he has one too.  Dick adds that he knows how to play the game and Jeff doesn't, so there is that too.  He says Jordan is really nice, but dumb.

10.  He thinks Shane has a chance of breaking records this season because there is no competition for them.

11. Dick thinks Dan's strategy is flawed.  Everyone knows he is throwing competitions and it won't work for him.  He thinks this is going to be "the season of Janelle" and it isn't fair. (Oh Dick, if only you knew the truth...)  Dick compares James Rhine's accomplishments and says he also won a POV for Sarah his girlfriend, so he would add that win to Jame's list as well.  They think Shane could win BB based on winning POVs alone.

Ronnie pointed out that Shane won that POV because he caught the ball and held it for a second, looking over at the other chute before letting the ball go.  He is the only one who was doing that and it worked.

12.  Lawon calls the Final Two as Janelle and Mike Boogie.  Ronnie says he thinks it will be Ashley and Janelle.   Dick says no one believes Dan--he just talked to Eric Stein in Florida and Eric said talking to Dan is like talking to a used car salesman.  You have to tune him out after a couple of minutes.

Dick would like to see Dan leave before Mike Boogie.  He doesn't think they will bring any players back, and they might have to have two double evictions because there are so many players in the house.

13.  Dick doesn't like Jenn, either.  He is angry that some websites built her up to be the next Evel Dick because of the hair and tattoos.  Dick said Kittie was a "small band" but they were "big enough that he had heard of them" so he expected her to do something but she has done nothing.  Lawon has said that Jenn will go far in the house, just sitting there and Ronnie and Dick both agree.

14.  Dick says there are "retarded Big Brother fans" who are saying Frank is getting backdoored.  Dick corrects this by saying it's only a backdoor if the player did not have the ability to play for POV.  (correct)  Because Frank played in the POV, he had the opportunity to save himself so this is not a backdoor.  People seem to think that if you go on the block as the result of the POV you are getting backdoored, but this is not necessarily the case.

15.  Dick thinks there is no chance in hell that the newbies will go against the Coaches.  And this will be their downfall.