Friday, September 28, 2012

Dick at Nite - Feat. Ian Terry - Part 2 - 8-26-12 #BB14

This is Part #2 of the Dick at Nite episode featuring Ian.  You can read my recap of Part #1 here.  I am ready for a vacation from Evel Dick, but his intro to this show still kicks ass.  You can see it for yourself here.  Prepare to chair dance.


1.  When we come back, Ian is mid-sentence.  (Dick needs the services of an editor, and also a lighting specialist.  He looks like he is in Witness Protection in the picture above.)  Apparently Dick asked him about the new computer he just bought.  Ian said it was his first purchase since the game ended and is a PC.  He likes the Mac products, but doesn't want to "learn to use the new shit."  Dick starts telling stories about himself and the blue screens on his PC computers, of course.  He threw his last PC into the pool in his apartment complex in North Hollywood. He's an Apple guy now, apparently.

Dick accuses Ian of hating  Willie, but Ian says that is actually not true.  Ian said that he didn't like that Willie was going to nominate him before Mike Boogie won the Coach's Comp and protected him, but says they approached each other as two outsiders and were willing to work together.  Ian told him that he would not nominate him, and as long as Frank or Shane didn't win HoH they could work together.  Ian didn't like that Willie squandered an opportunity that other people would have killed for.

***continue reading after the jump***

Dick says Willie had what Dick calls "HoH-itus" and then adds that he coined that term.  The first HoH is nearly two weeks long and Willie started acting like a king, ordering people around and hanging around upstairs too long.  Ian keeps nodding and trying to get a word in, but Dick keeps going and going and then says that he didn't like being up in the HoH in his season.

Ian says he "slept up there, listened to music, and took a shit up there", but otherwise didn't hang around up there.  Ian mentions that after he went up to the HoH room the first time, he was the one who said they should all leave.  He hates  that part of the show, when everybody sits around nervously in the HoH, scared to be the first to leave.

Ian says Ashley said she "wanted to be HoH just for the snacks".  Dick says that Kalia and Danielle stayed up in the HoH last year way too long.  BB is about relationships, and if you are upstairs you can't be on top of what is going on in the rest of the house.

(Porsche, Kalia and Danielle used to routinely steal a bottle of wine from the storage room before anybody else saw it and would go up there and get really drunk.  And eat, of course.)

Ian says that Team Boogie would get upset that Ian would play pool with Shane but Ian didn't think isolating yourselves from everybody else wasn't a good idea.  Once the game got down to a handful of people Ian felt he needed a safety net in case "some crazy shit went down".

Now Dick reads some "Twitter shit", and feels the need to say that "Jeff Schroeder also does this on his show, but my fans are different than his fans".

TQ = Twitter Question

TQ - Have you ever watched BBUK?  (I guess Evel Dick's fans don't watch the live feeds, because Ian discussed BBUK numerous times, as well as other international BB versions.)

Ian - Yes I have.  I have watched it since about 2006 and I like it.  It's pretty good but it is very different.

Dick says the "rest of the world plays that game", but that BB Canada is going to use the US model where the game is competition-based.  Dick says that the "Tourette's Guy" won, didn't he?  Ian says yes and because he himself "has ADHD he was glad he is doing his thing".

(I don't want to get into it, but Ian said he self-diagnosed himself as ADHD.  I think that is TOTI  -Tip of the Iceberg, but I am not a licensed to issue a diagnosis.  I am licensed to do your taxes, however.)

Dick says Ian was "rocking the shit" out of that first hammock and asks if he broke it.  Ian said no, but it did squeak really loud.   He added that it had years of suntan lotion caked on it and it was disgusting.  Dick says that hammock had been there for awhile and Ian says since BB6.  It was time for a new one.  Ian couldn't handle indoor lock downs, because he had nowhere to move around.  At home he has a recliner that rocks, but all he had in BB14 was the hammock.

Dick hated the lock downs because he was a smoker.  He always hated the outdoor lock downs where you had to wait outside while someone did the "memory wall" scenes.  You had to be quiet and sit out there for an hour or more.  Ian liked it at the end when he started winning things because he didn't have to sit outside in the scorching heat for that.  He says that Production would tell them to "take their sunglasses off so they could get some shots".

Dick says people always look so worried, but they are really very uncomfortable in that heat, with no food and needing to pee.  Ian says the longest one was about an hour and a half.  Dick also hates the nomination ceremonies, where you have to sit quietly and stare at each other.  Someone always started cracking jokes and they would all laugh and then have to do it over.

TQ:  Which skulldugger bothered you the most.  What the fuck is a skulldugger?

Ian:  Skulldugger is a term that Boogie and I started using in the house and it kind of caught on.  The worst was when Frank put up Britney because I was one of the people would would humor keeping Frank around.  I would rather have gotten Jenn out than Frank, but once he put up Britney I wanted him out.

TQ:  What past winner would you compare yourself to? 

Ian:  One that won a lot of competitions...with an OK strategic game and a good alliance.  Probably Drew...

Dick:  Are you fucking kidding me?  Watching Drew play was like watching grass grow.

Ian wonders who Dick would compare him to...Dick says nobody, but maybe Cochran from Survivor.  Ian agrees with that and adds Stephen Fishbach but continues to mispronounce Stephen's last name.  Dick says both of those guys are big Ian fans and Ian is aware of this.

TQ:  What were you thinking about on the hammock? 

Ian:  I was always playing out different scenarios, and tried to work backwards from the end.  I would then say what would have happened to cause that and would try to put myself in the middle.  That is when I did most of my strategy, on the hammock.

Dick did most of his on the backyard couch, talking out loud to the cameras.  This was the first time Ian applied and Dick says he is an asshole, because he had to try out for for BB for three years.  (Yes Dick, we tell us EVERY time.)

TQ:  What do you think about the Dan Fanatics who keep saying he was robbed?

Ian, rolling his eyes:  He didn't manage the jury.  I won comps, so I have that on him.  He was throwing some of them, but I still won.  He may have had better strategy, but I won on two of three.

Dick says he "knows for a fact that Dan did not throw comps" and he doesn't care what Dan has to say about that, or what anybody says.  Dick says that Dan had trouble on the Pirate Ship and Ian agrees. 

Dick:  Who stays up there for two hours and then throws it?  If you throw it you do it like Dr. Will and just fall off and go in the house.

Ian was glad to cut a deal for that since he didn't know who he would nominate and wanted to be able to play for HoH the next week.  Dick says those type of comps where you hang on, or hang from something, are always designed for the girls to win.  Dick says Matt Hoffman got mad at him when Dick told him he was "built like a woman" and that is why he won two of those competitions.

(Ha ha ha - Dick is such a dick.)

Dick says that was the closest to a "real endurance" competition in a very long time, because lately it has been people cutting deals up there.  Dick cannot understand why Ian threw the first part of the final HoH comp to Dan.

Dan:  Why the fuck did you give that to him?  You dumb son of a bitch.  If you had lost I would be here laughing at you and calling you a dumbass.

Ian:   Two things.  One, the night before Dan said that if he kept my ass in the game I needed to agree to throw it to him.  And secondly I knew I could beat Danielle in the second one, since it would be mental and physical.  It was a huge roll of the dice, though, but that is what the game is about.

Dick points out that if Danielle won the second part, Dan could have let her win Part #2 and then Ian would be gone.  Ian says that Dan told him that he threw the final HoH competition.  They both think Dan could have won against Danielle at the end with the Jury.

TQ:  Will you marry me?

Ian: That's the thing...I get these women trying to get me to date their daughters.  It's funny.

(No, that's not unstable...........)

TQ:  If Julie had said there would still be a Coach's prize, who would you give it to?

Ian:  Let me preface this by saying I very much like Britney.  But I think that Boogie did the best job of picking teams.  Because when Dan picked Kara I thought he would me next, but then he picked Danielle.  Then Janelle picked Ashley, and I thought, you've gotta be shitting me!  (Dick cracks up.)  I thought Willie or me would be next, but SHE PICKS ASHLEY?  I'm like, what the hell was that?  Then Boogie saw the light and picked me.  There was no reason in hell I should go in the last round.  Boogie did pick the best team.  It was a well rounded team.  He picked someone physical, someone mental, and someone with an okay social game would would just float by.  So he made the best picks, and did the best job of coaching.  Early in the game I was just walking around like a chicken with my head cut off, and he pulled me in there and told me to cut the shit and started coaching me on it.  So I think he deserved to win the $100,000..

(I agree that was a turning point for Ian in the game.  You can see that conversation here.)

TQ:  What do you think of Danielle's lies?

Ian:  I have yet to know the full extent---I haven't seen all of the shows yet.

Dick interrupts to say you won't see the lies on the would see them on the live feeds and CBS gave Danielle a very good edit.  Ian nods and mentions the cancer thing, and the Trey story.  Ian isn't happy about the lies and doesn't understand the point of it.

Ian:  Does it make me think less of her as a person?  No, because by the time the last week rolled by and she was acting like a child I already thought less of her.  I don't really give a shit.  But you know....

Dick mentions Danielle saying she wanted to snap Ian's neck. Ian heard about that, and also how she wanted to "cut Ian's dick off with a butter knife"  (ha ha ha)  Ian's parents told him that she also told Dan that "she didn't want that fucking nutcase to win...he's obviously out of his mind."  Ian mentions her trash talking Dan on the patio, threatening Ian if he took Dan to the end, and treating him like dog shit.

(Dick needs to tell him that Dan was COACHING HER to say that stuff.)

Dick points out that from this season, people will remember Ian, Frank and Dan and forget about the rest of them.

TQ:  Did Ian but a new computer and did he get a new bike?

Ian:  I don't's like an HP...I don't know....a Pavillion X10 46 Entertainment PC.  It's been shitty weather so I haven't had a chance to buy a new bike yet.  The one I've got in the basement is perfectly good, so I might hold off on that.

Dick says that is good, and to put the money away for taxes.  (Good advice Evel Dick.)

TQ:  Was your BB experience everything he hoped it would be?  Would he return for another season?

Ian:  Yes, and yes, as long as I finish my degree.  I can't put it off anymore.

His degree should be finished by December 2013.  He missed this summer and the fall semester.  He says it is a good thing to take the break---if he went to New Orleans now he would "just go crazy and he needs time to adjust". Dick wonders if Ian caught up on the Olympics, or if he even cares.  Ian doesn't really care.  He heard that not much really happened..

Dick wonders about the prize that Shane won to leave the house.  Ian didn't really care and he knew that Shane would take Danielle.  He says he "didn't give a shit and went back to the hammock and drank Diet Coke".

(Actually, that is probably spot on.)

Dick thought it was a stupid prize, particularly since no one saw the Olympics in the house.  He contrasts that with Jun winning a trip to NYC for the MTV VMA awards in BB4 and Ian agrees.

(It was a promotional event for CBS and Kellogg.  They didn't care if the house guests would like it.  The Sheryl Crow concert in the BB3 backyard was a promotional event, too.  But that one happened to KICK ASS.)

Ian:  And I love that after going there, somehow Danielle came back thinking that everyone in America loved the Quack Pack, including her, so I think it must have been a shock to her system to find out that no one was really digging her too much.  She somehow came back with the idea that she and Shane were America's love story or something.

Dick, laughing:  She's a wacko.

TQ:  Tell him he is gangster for saying "I don't respond to threats" and "I am risk averse". 

(That was not a question.)

TQ:  Was Ian trying to throw the third part of the HoH?  He looked upset.

Ian:  No. I knew I was going to have to cut Danielle.  But no way would I have thrown that.  No way in hell.  I knew that I had to do the dirt.  And I was worried that Danielle would be upset....and that's what it was.  Inside I was jumping up and down, but.....

TQ:  You blamed Frank for Britney's eviction, not knowing that Dan orchestrated the whole thing.  How can you say you didn't get misted by Dan?

Ian:  I did figure out Dan was misting me towards the end there.  He put on an elaborate show, trying to get me to throw the last part, but I didn't do that.  In the end everybody got misted, but I was the only one who figured it out in the last two days.

(Jenn City figured it out, but none of the QP would listen to her.)

TQ:  What was the most accomplishing moment in the house besides winning the money?  Non game related?

Ian:  Not game related rules out the shark fin...I would say I never felt that good in my entire life, winning that.  It was the most clutch thing I've ever done in my life.  That is one clip that I've watched over and over and I was the only one who was even close to winning. I was the only one who figured out you had to look at the end and work backwards.  But besides that I liked the dog punishment...that was fun.

Dick thinks that was humiliating, and says he would have taken a shit in the yard right next to the dog house, and would have peed on Frank's leg.

Ian:  The interesting thing about that is it was only 24 hours, so it was a good way to gain favor with people.  I was still trying to gain my footing in the house, and it would be funny and was easier than wearing the Spiritard for a week.  That costume gave Frank ingrown hairs because it was so tight.  I had very little chance of keeping the vacation or the cash prize, so keeping that was an easy decision.  I could only take it off to go to the bathroom.  I couldn't bathe or get in the pool because dogs don't take showers.

(Dogs jump in the pool though.  If they have one.)

Dick says those costumes endear people to the others. Everyone hated Zach in BB8 until he had to wear the bunny costume and had fun with it.  People thought he was a good sport.  He repeats the story of going in the DR to tattle on Kail for not wearing her bunny costume.  Ian doesn't think wearing that was any worse then wearing the Taco Chip  costume. Dick complains about them recycling the competitions from year to year.  Ian says some of them are classics, but a few of them are getting played out.  The mattresses was a new concept.  Ian says Jodi hurt her lip, but no one really injured themselves seriously.

Ian says that the Have Not beds are what hurt Ashley's back, rather than jumping the beds.  Dick says that she hurt her back "making the S & M video" and Ian snickers.  Ian doesn't think that Dan would have taken him to the end, not matter what he says now.  He says they exchanged their collateral at the back door after Danielle left.  He had Dan's grandfather's necklace, and Dan was holding "Snakie".

(You could clearly see Dan putting the necklace on during the live show.)

Ian discusses how everyone was playing the game for their coach in the beginning.  Wil, Ashley and himself were the only ones to buck the system and do whatever they wanted.  Now Dick wants to trash talk Jenn.  He says she only got about a minute of air time on CBS for the first half of the game.   Ian says that after they got down to the last seven or so people, he thought he had the Quack Pack, and then wanted to evict Frank and Joe and Jenn.  He says Jenn took a lot of naps and he thought she squandered the opportunity by doing that.

Dick mentions Kalia from BB13, and Jessica from BB8 as sleeping  and eating all of the time.  He says Jessica would sleep all day until someone said there was beer in the storage room.  (Ha ha ha typical college student)  Ian says people gave him shit for sleeping until noon, but once he was up he was up until 3:00 am or so.

TQ:  Has Ian realized yet that he did not start the QP?

Ian reacts physically to this and then says he did go upstairs and start the QP.  "Period, done, end of story".

(The other four laughed at him in the HoH after he discussed an alliance with them in his dog costume.  Britney, Shane, Dan and Danielle offered Ian a deal, and he said he wanted a day to think about it.  He came back the next evening and they solidified the deal and made up the name.  They weren't sure they even wanted to work with Ian until after he voted to evict Mike and nominated Frank on the live show.  And THAT is what happened.  )

Ian is not budging on this.  End of story.  Dick says that he thinks he has answered that for the last time, but he is going to hear it over and over and over for years.   There was another comment about a bitter jury and Ian rolls his eyes and head again and says Dan did not manage the jury and that is that.

Ian just remember a new point about Danielle he'd like to make.  When she was "reeming him on the back patio" in the last days of the game, she told him he had an easy ride in the game because people didn't target him because they thought he was weak.  And he didn't get nominated until late in the game, so he didn't deserve to win.  Ian is bitter as he says he knows now that the whole house basically plotted against him for the last half of the game.

Dick:  Danielle?  Who targeted her?

Ian:  Exactly.  And no shit I didn't get nominated until Day 62.  I wormed my way out of it  until then for a reason.  You can't go home if you aren't nominated.

Dick:  You definitely didn't play a Jordan type of game, who won because she was nice and people hated Natalie.  The JeJo people hate me and don't subscribe here, but she was just being Jordan and won for that.  You didn't play that played.

Ian:  I appreciate that.  Of everyone, Dan and I played the best games and were the most deserving.  Shane played pretty good, and Frank played a good competition game.  If his social game was better it would have turned out better for him.

Dick says his girlfriend Amy was crying because Ian won, she was so happy for him.  Ian says "thank you Amy" and Dick is going to introduce the two of them at some point.  Ian says he enjoyed the interview and Dick takes the opportunity to discuss how great he is, and how great his interviews are.  He uses as an example how he let Adam Poch know the media said he was the worst BB player ever when he was a guest on the show.

Dick would like Ian to come back as a panelist next year and Ian said he would like that.

(I thought Dick was through with BB now?  I was hoping he meant it, to be honest.)

Dick:  You're a good kid.  Save that money and go to school and get as much pussy as you can but wear a condom.

Ian:  Thank you. Peace out.  I'm going to end the call.

Dick:  See you.

1 comment :

  1. thank you for doing this, it's not that I couldn't afford the fee, heck, I spend more on lunch in NYC than Dick at Night is for a season. I just can't take Dick's voice and hearing him bleat on and on about his season. That is why BB banned him from backyard interviews on finale. Great job!


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