Monday, September 10, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Prisoners in Their Own Minds 9-10-12 #BB14

This episode aired at 9:00 pm BBT on Showtime on Sunday, and in the wee hours of Monday where I live.

Ian is the HOH, and Shane and Jenn are nominated for eviction.  Shane won the POV yesterday, but the POV ceremony won't take place until Monday.  When Shane won the POV, he also won a "chance to see the stars".  He chose Danielle to share the prize with him, and earlier today the two of them were told by Big Brother that they had an hour to get ready.  They buzzed around and got dressed up and left.


1.  As the show opens Jenn, Ian and Dan are sitting at the dining table, chatting.  Shane and Danielle do not appear to be "home" yet.  Ian is telling them how he tried out for the reality show The Real Gilligan's Island.  He tells Dan that he and his brother use to "play Gilligan's Island" during recess, and that his brother was always Gilligan, and Ian was The Professor.

Dan:  You played Gilligan's Island?  That's not even from our era!

Ian says he knows, but it was a funny show and they liked it.  He tried out to be The Professor and Dan finds this difficult to believe.  Dan says he looks just like Gilligan---that should have been the role he tried out for.

Ian also tried out for a show on ABC called Downfall, and another show hosted by Neil Patrick Harris that was not picked up after the pilot.

Jenn:  So you always wanted to be on Reality TV?  But particularly this show?

Due to Ian's age, he could only apply for certain shows, but as soon as he turned 21 he applied for Survivor and Big Brother.  He never heard anything back from Survivor---I think he sent in a tape.  He hadn't read Dan's book yet (How to Get on Reality TV) and didn't know how to create "his character".

Ian went through their whole cast, and a few other BB players and summarized how they got on the show.  Ian, Frank, and JoJo went to a casting call.  They found Joe on YouTube and they joke about what BB was searching for to find him.  Kara and Jenn were both "found" pretty late in the process.  Jenn was found on Facebook after leaving a birthday message on "somone's wall". (Sharon Osborne, I'm pretty sure.) Danielle was auditioning for a dating show, not BB.  Ashley had sent in a tape for BB years ago, and Ian said they pulled it back out.  (Actually, I think Ashley tried out for the same dating show that Danielle did, the one with Eva Longoria.)

Ian said that Jeff Schroeder went to a Chicago casting call with a female friend who was trying out, and she persuaded him to try out too.  He had never seen the show before.  Ian said they "found" Jordan when she was working at a bowling alley.  (I think it was Hooters.) Jenn says that her friend Tim is a Big Brother fan and has tried out three times.

They all laugh at the irony of that.

2.  Now the three of them look at the memory wall and comment on the pictures.  Ian says his picture was taken when he "hadn't been in the sun for awhile".  It really is a horrible picture, with his hair all chopped up.  Dan says the picture looks nothing like Ian's personality.  For someone with such a horrible picture, Ian feels pretty comfortable critiquing everyone else's picture.  He says Janelle looks like Mother Goose, and that Ashley looks loosey-goosey.

Jenn says Shane's picture looks nothing like him---he looks at least 40 in the picture, and Danielle's picture makes her look older, too.  Jenn thinks that they were really trying to hammer home the kindergarten teacher stereotype.  (ha ha ha)

They think Joe must have a big You Tube following, based on what he's told them and that fact that casting found him there.   They start discussing the coaches, and Ian says he read on line that the coaches would be Dan, Janelle, Mike, and Danielle Reyes.  He says it would have been interesting to meet her, but he would not liked to have played against Danielle.  They say the same thing about Evel Dick, too.  Fun to meet, but not to play against.

Ian says that when he knew he was going to sequester, he started playing some Big Brother type games with his brother in the backyard.  Like tossing coins into targets, and he went to a shuffleboard court to practice that.  He also leaned against the deck of his backyard as an endurance type practice session.

Ian: It was kind of like the Pirate Ship, but without the rain, wind, or bird poop.

***continue reading after the jump***

3.  Suddenly Shane and Danielle are back from their big adventure, coming in through the DR room.  They are holding giant family sized cereal boxes.

Shane:  Hello!  She got hungry so we stopped for some cereal!

They have huge corn flakes boxes that Shane is hiding, and he says to wait to show everybody.

Ian:  You met some  Olympics people.

(What a dick this kid is.)

Shane says now he's ruined the surprise.  They report that they went to some sort of gymnastics event that was sponsored by Kellogg.  They have cereal boxes with their pictures on it, and the gymnasts signed them all.

It is obvious everyone is disappointed, including Shane and Danielle.  There was a lot of build up about going to the MTV Awards, or a movie premiere, so this is not exactly what everyone had in mind.  Danielle says the team knew who they were, and one of the girls even said she was nervous to meet them.

Now Shane tells stories about Mikayla, and she tried to tell Shane about the "Mikayla's not impressed" phenomena, but no one really got it.  They totally missed the Olympics this summer.  Everyone is more excited about the sights they saw from the car window.  Gas was $4.53 a gallon, and they saw movie billboards and a billboard for the new Android phone.

Shane says they got to listen to live music during the show and it was great.

Dan:  Did you get to drink?

Shane:  Soft drinks.

Danielle:  Well, Coke and tea. But I can't drink dark liquids.

Dan: Did you get to eat?  A nice meal?

Shane:  We had chicken salad.

Danielle:  We had food that was set up in a suite.  We were up in a suite and then the team came in and we hung around with them for awhile before the show.

They described getting out of the limo.  It sounds like Danielle was behind a curtain or something, but people saw Shane and started yelling his name.  Shane looks genuinely surprised and thrilled about this.  Shane says it is weird leaving the house, but "coming back in is brutal".

Shane says "Sean Connery" was there.  (Their name for someone in the DR.)

Danielle:  No more "Cole Slaw".  We can't say that bueno.  We have to call her Connery...

4.  Shane says I'm sure you guys have news to report, too.  What happened around here?  Jenn says they had fun and just hung out.  Ian has exciting news, too.

Ian:  We were just sitting here talking about Jodi.  And then BB said "JODI, THIS IS A REMINDER THAT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN IN THE DIARY ROOM YET TODAY".

They all crack up.


This causes more excitement than the gymnastics news, frankly.  Dan says they had a good day.  Jenn says that after they left, one of the cameras was pointed at the back door, so Dan was really paranoid that someone was coming in, but then they figured out that Shane and Danielle were outside and were just leaving.

Danielle wants to complain about being in the car for two hours, but stops herself.  Shane asked the gymnasts who their favorite BB house guests were, and they started listing names.  Shane had to stop them and say he meant from prior seasons.  Dan wants to know who they said, but Shane and Danielle can't say it.

Danielle reports that when Shane asked the question, one of the girls said "YOU" and Shane looks down in embarrassment.  Then she says they named other names but they can repeat it.  We see a camera shot of Ian holding up crossed fingers, hoping it is him.

Danielle remembers they said this Olympics was the "most watched ever".

5.  After commercial we keep going to FISH as Shane and Danielle talk about the music they heard during the show.  Jenn is trying to find out who is big this summer and asks about all sorts of bands.  They didn't hear any Rhianna, and Danielle says that David Guetta has "blown up".  They discuss a Titanium song and Jenn is happy they heard a Skillrex song.

Danielle says there was a song like "Hot in Here" but they didn't know who sang it.  They heard a Bruno Mars song but it was an old one playing when they first walked in.  The two of them had no idea of what the event was until they were secured in the box.  There were huge crowds at the arena for the show and they kept having to wait in restrooms, etc, to avoid crowds.

In the suite there was a card that said "Congratulations to being in the Final Five.  You are about to meet the Fierce Five!"  Then they just waited around, talking and being filmed like they normally are, and then the Fierce Five burst in the room with the cereal boxes and then they signed them.

They were interviewed but Danielle said there were so many camera crews with lights on them.  The crews they had were different then being filmed in the BB house.  They were being asked questions constantly, even in the car.  Danielle says they only had about 30 minutes when they could just sit and relax.

Shane went to the storage room and found a bottle of white wine and a couple of beers.  Danielle says that Mikayla and Gabby were the big talkers, and Mikayla looked up and waved at them during the show.   They were excited that they will appear on a Big Brother episode.

They discuss how big the crowd was, and Danielle says  she feels anxious in the house now.  It feels strange to be there and she is nervous.  This breaks up the crowd and they disperse.

Jenn is happy for them and went over and gave both of them a hug.  Her leopard print skirt and butt were right in the camera shot as she bent over and Jenn has clearly lost a lot of weight.  That skirt is loose now.

After Jenn leaves Ian tries to find out through gestures and non-verbal cues if the girls like him.  Danielle and Shane nod, and Danielle says "not a problem".  Then she says that people definitely recognized them, and were pointing.

Danielle:  People are watching the show..

Ian does a fist pump.

6.  Ian is drinking beer now and goes out to the hammock.  Now outside Jenn and Ian are talking about the POV and I think there were other prizes to choose from.  Jenn says that she would have been happy with the "box of microwave shit", or if it had been "clothes and other girly stuff" but admits she would have liked to be able to eat, just for once.

Jenn is in great spirits and is ready to watch Ian get drunk.  He says four beers is "the magic number" for happy Ian. Ian thinks it must have been so strange to see all of those people.  He was just excited to see Rachel on the video screen because she was a new face.

Ian mentions the "ATS people" (??) coming in the house and Jenn says she was so excited that she was bombarding him with questions, like how are you today?  where do you live?  Then she says they "came in the DR just to see if everything was okay and the guy pulled out a cell phone".....The cameras switch after that.

(Who are the ATS people?  Is that the medic?  Tarter Sauce the Medic?  I heard that Jenn rushed to help the Zingbot girl when she hit the floor, so maybe that is who she is talking about.)

7.  In the bathroom, Danielle reapplies fresh bandaids to Shane's fingers.  Dan comes in and asks again about the food they had. Shane says they had chicken salad, hot dogs, and fruit.  Danielle tries to put a positive spin on that by saying there was enough for 20 people.

Outside Jenn and Dan laugh about being isolated with 4 other people for months, and then tossed into an arena with 10,000 people.  Shane and Dan are drinking cans of Miller GD and Dan describes it as "skunk".  Shane says the "top girl" was only 15 and won "all of the gold medals".   Dan read on the back of the Corn Flakes box that one of the Fierce Five is from DeWitt Michigan and his high school football team played their team one time.

Shane describes the laser light show.  It started with an American flag projected on the floor and had big lights, big music, etc.  Shane said a lot of young gymnasts were there in the audience.  Shane said they "had to do two takes" because when the girls ran in they didn't know all of those cameras would be in there so they had to do it over.

The girls asked Shane why his hands were bandaged and then she showed him her hands---she had blisters and cuts and put his injuries to shame.  Shane says he is glad Danielle went because she was in gymnastics and could relate to a lot of it, but he wishes everyone could go.  Shane jokes that if it was a football game or the Batman movie, he might feel differently, and Dan laughs.

They joke about the Kelloggs tie-in to their season.  Dan went to check and Froot Loops are made by Kelloggs, too.  Dan is sure someone from Kelloggs got an email after the Willie incident and the cameras quickly change.

8.  Outside Jenn is still absorbing details about the trip from Shane.  She could tell that Danielle was kind of freaking out about coming back in, but Shane says that he tried to prepare himself for coming back in.  He felt that he has lost some of his ability to make conversation with other people.  He noticed that he and Danielle mentioned something about strategy, or the POV every 10 minutes or so.  It's been their entire life for so long that is what they have in common.

After commercial they seem to be discussing Jenn cheating on the slop diet.  She mentions "hearing about Enzo" but she doesn't want to be like that.  She says she is down to single digits now as far as the remaining days go, so she thinks she'll be alright.  (It might be like, two days before Jenn can eat, unfortunately...)

Inside Danielle is eating cereal with her hands and says for about 30 minutes, they had some semblance of normalcy in their lives.  Danielle got freaked out when they turned on the spotlights to interview them---everything was pitch black except for the bright lights.  Someone held Danielle's hand when she was wearing the blindfold to guide her.

Danielle:  It was like one big DR session.

Jenn:  Yeah.  A different location DR session.

(Has  anyone in there asked Jenn to describe her stage experience?  Her touring experience?  I would have week's worth of questions about that.)

Jenn thinks the demographic for a gymnastics show is probably a good demographic for the Big Brother audience.  Danielle says that some parents recognized them and pointed them out to the children, who ran over to see them.

Danielle:  They changed the tag on the limo to read "Big Brother".

They all laugh about how not incognito that kind of arrival is.  Now Danielle mentions how they all compared blisters and the girls heard about the POV competition that will air on TV this week.  Shane told them he knew what wearing a POV feels like, but not a gold medal.  Danielle said the girls commented on how tan they are and asked them what the do to keep busy.  Danielle said on camera she told Shane that they missed their naps today and she was tired.  She thinks that will be on TV.

Danielle says they wondered today how many protein shakes Jenn had, and they all laugh.  The interview questions were about what they thought the other house guests were doing.  Danielle says gas prices were $4.33 at first, then she saw a sign for $4.09.

Jenn is trying to figure out where they were.  She says you were in the city with the higher gas prices, and then went to the suburbs.  Shane told her the direction they drove in, and the approximate amount of time. (401S, etc.)  They drove through Pasadena and were 45 minutes from LA.

(They were in Ontario, California.)

9.  Now Ian and Shane discuss the van rides with the other potential house guests in sequester.  OMG they are discussing Frank's behavior in the vans.  He apparently went into a liquor store and bought some booze.  Then later when the van stopped at a gas station Frank got out and lit up a cigarette.

Jenn can't believe that!  Frank had to pee, too.  Ian said they weren't supposed to talk to each other, but "certain people did anyway".  Ian himself admits that he "made one joke".  Ian says during sequester Frank was one of the sequester people that he kept seeing the most.

Now Danielle says they passed a Chick-Fil-A and she was dying for a chicken biscuit.  Now Danielle says that she and Shane tried a kiss on the cheek, but she ended up headbutting him into the door.  The camera guy started laughing---there were 4 people in the car with them.  She was so embarrassed.  Now Ian does the Zingbot zing about the restraining order and they all say "Zing!".

Danielle says the people in the car asked them to "go PG-13" today and they all laugh.  They went to Starbucks----I think it was in the Arena--Danielle had a Vanilla Bean Frappacino and Shane got a Strawberry Frappacino.  Shane had some finger foods and doesn't sound too excited about it.

OMG Danielle said someone was adjusting her microphone in the suite and Shane called out that Danielle wasn't wearing a bra.

Danielle:  In front of everybody!

Shane:  Well, they could tell.  The sound guy knew you weren't wearing a bra!  He could tell!

Jenn guffaws.

Shane:  He could feel it!

10.  Now everyone cheers to being in the Final Five and they have a group toast and it's a good moment. Jenn has her protein shake, of course, clinking with the wine glasses and beer cans.

Dan keeps asking questions and Danielle said the Fierce Five were the stars of the event and they all realize that their role in the Olympics must have been huge.  They know they missed the whole Olympics this year.

Jenn is so excited about all of the music and is thrilled for David Guetto and Skillrex, that they have hits big enough for a show like that.

Jenn:  Rivers Cuomo doesn't like direct eye contact...I can tell you that.  (winking)

(He is the lead singer of Weezer, Dan's favorite band.)

After commercial Danielle is saying that some people came running up to them during the show and were pointing and yelling.  Security had to pull them away.

Danielle:  I asked them what if we see Kara, or Boogie, or even Jodi here?  And you can tell they never even thought about that and their jaws dropped!  So they said that we'd have to "get under here" if you see them right away!

Everyone sat out on the patio to keep talking.  Everyone is chill and seems to be in a good mood. The guys are still drinking beer, and somebody is drinking wine, but nobody is acting out, which is nice.

Dan brings up Ian trying out for the part of The Professor on the New Gilligan's Island.  I guess that conversation was kind of a big part of his events today, looking back at it.

11.  Danielle compliments Jenn wearing hot pink, saying it looks good on her.  She said this right out of the blue and Jenn thanks her.  Dan asks a lot of questions about the how the arena was set up, and how the box was decorated and laid out.  They discuss how dangerous the acrobatics were, and Shane says all you have is a mattress to fall on if you miss---there are no harnesses or nets.

(Ironic that Shane would mention this, because apparently two of the Fierce Five were injured last night---see the link above.)

Danielle:  Clearly all of the live feeders knew we're gone...or did you tell them Ian?

Ian:  No, they knew.

Shane says that he joked when they were leaving through the DR that they were "leaving Willie style". Danielle says when they were blindfolded she heard a lot of voices that she recognized and she started yelling out their names and they told her to shut up.

Dan:  Whichever one of you wins, you will spend the night with a security guard in an adjoining room, with the door open.

Jenn:  Why...because you are worth a half million dollars?

Dan:  No, because you have a contractual obligation to fulfill....

Jenn:  Yeah, makes sense.  Otherwise you can just do the dip and be like, let's get the fuck out of there!

(Every person who is evicted spends the evening like that, not just the winner.)

12.  Danielle said some people would walk by them and stop, and look back or walk back to watch.  She said it's not that everyone recognized them, but the production crew was so large with them being filmed that that drew attention.  Some people tried to figure out who they were.

Jenn:  And somebody yelled out Shane!

Danielle:  Yeah, they did!

This morning one of the wake up songs was Weezer and Dan jumped out of bed with a pillow, hitting people with it.  Ian said he had the HOH door locked but Dan had to bang on it to get him to open it.  Danielle thinks that they played Weezer two days in a row, just to get them all to get up and react.

Shane says that all of the morning music is on Jason's iPhone, and that explains why there hasn't been any country music. (Is Jason black?)  They are surprised and then Jenn calls out "good choices sir!".   Shane says he recognized the guy's voice who told him that, and it was Jason.  They start talking about DR people like "Cole Slaw" and we see the FISH for at least 30 seconds.

Dan:  Who would have thought this would be the Fierce Five?

They all kind of chuckle and congratulate each other.   They talk about good players who left before the Final Five.  Shane mentions that Shelly went out sixth, and she was the best player last year.  (Ian always says that, and that is where Shane learned it.)

Jenn says that if Rachel had come in the house as a Coach, she would have been "down for that", because Rachel was a good competitor.  Ian doesn't think that Rachel is the best player, because she was nominated so many times and had to win to stay in the game.  Cassie's name comes up and Shane says "oh I would love to meet her".  They all start talking about her and Jenn gives Cassie the heads up that the BB14 guys would like to meet her.

Shane starts talking about Sarah Underwood and says if he sat by her somewhere...he would just...., indicating he would be speechless.  Shane loves Attack of the Show. Ian doesn't get the G4 channel at college.  Shane says what about watching it on the computer?  Ian is going to consider that option for the future.

13. Shane wants another round of beer.  Ian is pissed that "Frank erased his hash marks" over by the pool table.

Jenn:  Are you serious?  That's fucking dirty, yo...

Ian thinks that Frank was so bitter, he just may have.  Ian calls him "Bitter Bill".

Shane, to Jenn:  The only one he would vote for is you.

Dan:  He'd eat his key!

Now Ian guesses what Frank's saying to Ashley about who doesn't deserve to be there.  Ian told Danielle that he "didn't want to go by Ian's hand".  After commercial Jenn is talking about how bitter Frank was when he left, and Shane compares Joe's exit to Frank's exit.  They all say that Joe left with class and they admired that, but Frank got too personal and there was no way Shane could keep him over Joe.

Shane couldn't believe that Frank went after Britney, who could have been a strong ally with him along with Shane.  Now they relive the POV competition again, and how close Jenn felt she was.  Jenn says she keeps coming in second place, and that "they said the footage is pretty awesome".  She keeps saying she can't wait to watch the see the gymnastics show and also some of these competitions.

14.  Now we see Danielle whispering with Dan in the living room about how important he is to her.  Dan wants to make sure that if Shane wins HOH, he won't go up on the block and he gets called to the DR.

Back outside Shane is chatting with Jenn and is impressed with the quality of the competitions that keep coming at them.

On the couch Danielle is telling Ian about her day.  I think she is trying to tell him that the gymnasts heard her say that Frank was an ass and they all giggled.  Ian wanted to know specifically about this.  Danielle is kind of complaining about the day, that the crowd was "all mothers and young children".  Ian keeps asking who heard Danielle say that Frank was an ass, and Danielle says, I can't tell you that....who do you think?

The cameras try to search for a conversation that is safe to air, and they go back to the living room where Danielle and Ian are talking how he should not nominate Dan if Shane uses the POV.  They agree she might need to go up.  They start talking trash about Mike Boogie, and Ian says that he knew he had to stay true to himself.

Danielle:  I can't believe he called me pouty!

Ian:  I can't believe he called me expendable.  And he did that several times.

Ian points out that he kept saying "this is the player that I chose?" when Ian chose the dog costume over cash or the Maui trip.

Danielle:  What would Boogie have done if he saw me?  What would he say or do?

(At the fucking gymnastics event?  ha ha ha ha ha)

Ian:  He might have yelled fuck you!

Ian says getting Mike Boogie out was the kill of the season.  (Ian wasn't the HOH.) Then Danielle points out that she thinks Janelle was the kill of the season, too!  Danielle starts counting her stipend dollars and talks about her financial problems.  She contrasts this to Frank's leisurely beach lifstyle and how dare he say that he needs the money.

Danielle:  All he wants to do is get drunk and get high!

Ian:  He's in the J house.  And now it's the MJ house!

Danielle:  It is the MJ house.

Now she brings up Ashley's name and says she was a stoner, too.  Ian says that Ashley mentioned a few times that "at times like these I wish I had a big fat one".  Ian claims he hasn't smoked in a while but there are definitely occasions in the house where he would want to.

Dan bursts out of the DR, smiling, and they tell him they are talking about MJ in the jury house.  Danielle has a definite tude about all of this---she obviously feels very superior to people who dare to smoke pot.

(Feedwatcher:  Fuck you Danielle!)

15.  Shane wants to go to bed but Danielle wants him to stay up.  Dan is getting very naughty, using a tall window washing instrument to perform some sort of prank.  Big Brother keeps saying "DAN, I SAID STOP THAT!" and "DAN, KNOCK IT OFF!".    Shane called out that he should get a Penalty Nomination and that got Dan's attention for a momen.

I think Dan got a ball lost over some of the lighting panels.

Ian ran upstairs where he could look down at the ball and talked Dan into the right location, saying a little to the left, and down to the right.  We can see all of the equipment up there, hanging down.  Hanging microphones, expensive lighting and rigging, etc.  This is really kind of amazing.   It is certainly a different view of things in the BB house.  Every once in awhile BB tells him to STOP THAT but I'm sure they are enjoying the action too.

Dan touched it a few times but only knocked it farther away.  Turns out he was using one of the pool cleaning brushes and Jenn said she never noticed it before.  Dan goes outside with Jenn to put the brush away and Shane chants "Penalty Nom" a few times when he is gone.  Now they have a ball that they throw back and forth across the living room.

Dan told Ian a few stories about BB10.  One involve hitting old Jerry with a ball or something on Day 27 and the DR called Dan to ask what he did to him.  Another involved Michelle from BB10.   She knew she was getting evicted so she took 4 balls they played some sort of game with and hid them..  When Dan went on that desert island trip with her he asked her where she hid the balls.  She told him and then he kept trying to find them and would get in trouble.  She had pulled back some of the panels under the bed and put the balls behind them.


  1. Wasn't Ashley the one with the Sharon Osbourne connection? I thought it was made through her self-tanning business.

  2. Jenn performed at Ozzfest with her band and also worked on Kelly Osborne's "music".

    She knows Sharon and that is why Wil kept doing his Sharon Osborne imitation.

    Ashley tried out for the Eva Longoria dating show, as did Danielle, and that led to them being cast on BB14.


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