Thursday, September 13, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert! 9-13-12 #BB14

This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Wednesday, in the early hours of Thursday where I live.

Beginning on Tuesday afternoon, the feeds were offline for over 30 hours, in an attempt by Production to keep a few things secret.  Of course, the Super Fans always find out the details.  Millions of people just watch Big Brother on the CBS show and they will surely be surprised by some of the latest events.  But not us....

Here are a few key events that have happened since the viewing public saw Jenn evicted on Wednesday's CBS broadcast:

*  Danielle won HOH
*  Danielle nominated Ian and Dan for eviction
*  Danielle won POV

I think the POV ceremony will be held live on Thursday night's show.  Whoever is not the HOH or nominated holds the power to determine who will move on to the Final Three.  Right now, it's up to Shane, but if Dan has his way (and let's fact it, he usually does) then he will be the one doing the choosing.  Either way, I don't think things look promising for Ian Terry.


1.  I think the live feeds came back at the same time that the Showtime broadcast started.  Danielle, Dan and Shane are sitting in the living room, talking about events in the house that seem like they happened a year ago to me.  Danielle is saying that she lost some clothes (yoga pants?) and has looked high and low for them without success.

Dan says that he lost a few things, but then they recently appeared in the backyard.  Danielle seems to think that JoJo took her clothes, naming her as a suspect.

Danielle:  Jenn told me that JoJo was jealous of all of the attention I was getting...she didn't like that and badmouthed me all of the time!

(Duh Danielle.  Janelle tried to tell you some of the smack talking that JoJo did about you and you blamed her for it!)

Dan the Horndog wants to hear some dirty details.  I've noticed he often does this when JoJo's name comes up in conversation.  Danielle starts telling the guys about the Ladies' Nights when they played "I Never".  I don't think Dan has ever played that game, but Danielle discloses that JoJo indicated that she was into anal sex.  Danielle says none of the other girls indicated they had done that.

Shane:  Some girls like that...

Now Danielle mentions discussions of "swallowing" and sex in public places.  She list the girls who indicated they have had sex in public places, but then clarifies that is "at the mall or something".  Doing it parked in the garage doesn't count.  Danielle goes off on JoJo, saying that her constant sexual comments and innuendos won't get her the attention she craves.

Dan wants to know what she said to Ian.  Shane says she just talked in the Have Not room about sex, and how turned on she was. Shane and Dan agree that the women are more graphic in their conversations than the men are.

Shane has his stuffed dog on his shoulder.  He has his bangs sweeping across his head and straight up tonight, and has gelled it into shape. He says that he was "going to play the gay card" coming in the house.  He didn't want to win any competitions, just to be friends with all of the girls and be non threatening to the guys.

Shane:  Has anybody ever done that?

Dan:  Could you carry that off for the whole season?

Shane:  Nah.  And I don't want to be portrayed that way to America.  Not that it's bad or anything.

Danielle says that Frank and Joe were much more graphic in their conversations.  Shane agrees, and they discuss the graphic conversation Frank had one night.  Britney asked him what he would do to Ashley, and he went into detail about each step, including his "palm technique".   Danielle is very grossed out by this, and says that Ashley was staring straight at Frank when he was talking about this, and was "probably touching herself".

2.  Ian comes out of the DR and Dan asks him to tell them about the guy on an international version of BB who had to pretend he was mentally disabled.  If he got to a certain point in the game without being discovered, he won extra cash, and he succeeded.  (Ian has told this story before.)

They discuss next year.  Shane thinks the cast will be "all new" and Dan says there will be no big twists.  Dan is glad that the Pandora's Boxes this year didn't involve major game-changing twists.

(I'll bet.)

They talk about how in the beginning of the game, you couldn't go anywhere in the house and not be alone.  There were only 9 beds, too.  Shane wonders if they get more screen time in the DR when there are so few of them and Ian says yes.  He says Britney said Kristin Bitting's DR sessions were boring, and Shane worries that his sessions may be, too.

Ian, the Know-It-All, says that he made it this far, so they must be pretty good.

Now they discuss the first HOH competition, with the bouncing beds.  Ian says he knew there would be a physical competition, because the guys were told to wear underwear with "compression", rather than boxer shorts.  Ian went first on his team, and couldn't get a bear.  But then Frank went next and "got a bear right away", because he noticed how the third bed bounced and planned for it.  Ian announces that the twist that they had the first day, with Jodi going home was the biggest US BB twist.

Now they discuss Jackass, and Johnny Knoxville getting bitten by two anaconda snakes.   Ian and Shane speak in detail about various Jackass episodes.  Like the one where they jumped in the water with fish hooks through their mouth.  Dan brings up the paper cut episode and Shane describes one of the Jackasses cutting his lip with a manilla envelope.

Shane gleefully recounts how Steve O got trapped in a port-a-potty and ended up throwing up.  They go on and on discussing different episodes, and they all seem to have watched the shows over and over and have memorized many of them.

***continue reading after the jump***
3.  We see a short snippet of Danielle in the HOH bathroom, washing her face.

Now back to the living room, where the guys are now discussing Viva La Bam in great detail.  Dan laughs very hard sometimes, and it is genuine cracking up.  They keep discussing all of this for some time, and then Dan discusses the website "Game Cube Smash".  Or something like that.

Danielle walks through the kitchen and sits back down with them, silently staring around.  Ian is going on and on about something he saw on the web and the camera shows her staring at him. Now Dan brings up a kid putting a World of Warcraft up his butt or something like that.  Danielle has seen that, too, and discusses the other videos that kid put online, including him beating on a car.

Now Ian brings up that story of a father reading his daughter's Facebook and then filming himself shooting her computer.   Ian thinks that is "fiscally irresponsible".  Dan wonders about the "smash my stuff" website, but Ian says those items are donated specifically for that purpose.

Ian stood online overnight to get the new X-Box.  He went days before Thanksgiving.  Someone brought a tent, and a space heater.  Ian went to the Best Buy at 5:30 pm on Tuesday, and the item went on sale Wednesday morning.  Ian watched Seinfeld on his laptop to pass the time.  Shane says that is "like a memory that you will remember, and it's kind of cool".  Dan wanted to know if he talked to the other people in line and he said yes.

He skipped school on Wednesday but his parents knew about it.  When he got in the store he had a number #2 tag that he got while in line that he used once he got in the store.  There were only 24 of the premium X Boxes available for sale, so if you didn't get there early you wouldn't get one.

Dan asks a lot of questions, and wants to know if anybody offered to buy his place in line.  Ian says they did, but he doesn't remember how much was offered.  At first he had friends in line and they were trying to pretend like they didn't know each other so they could wait in shifts, but then Best Buy stopped them from doing that.

4.  Dan loves to play Fallout Three and says this is the best game he's ever played.  Ian doesn't have much time to play games, but if he had the time he likes to play the sports games.  He used to like MLB 2005.  Shane likes all of the sports game.  When the show is over, Dan is going to take a month off and play some games.  Ian wants to watch the BB14 series but will probably watch the whole thing in a week.

(I heard Dan's wife Chelsea on a podcast and she said that Dan took the fall semester off from coaching, and that his school was really cool about it.)

Dan bought Apple TV for $89 and they can watch stuff they bought on iTunes on their TV set.  Dan says it is wireless but then says there is a cable.  Sometimes they sit and watch You Tube on their TV with it, and also stuff with Netflix.

Dan starts talking about Ian's brother Ryan and asks questions about Ryan's girlfriend.  Ian says she has brown hair and is a freshman at Pitt.  Ryan would be a sophomore in college but "now he just works."  Dan wonders if he'll ever go back to college and Ian says "no" without hesitation.  Ryan is two years younger than Ian.

Dan is intently starting at Ian as he asks him so many personal questions.  Like, would Ian go out with Ryan's girlfriend?  (No, she is nice but not the type he likes.)  Isn't there a lot of pressure for Ryan to be Ian's brother, since Ian makes such good grades and is so smart?  (Yeah, people have told him that before.)  Has he ever talked with Ryan about that?  (Yes, he has, but does not elaborate about that now.)

Now they wonder how Joe would have done in the competition.  Ian starts talking about how great he did.  I think they had to shoot something?

5.  After commercial Dan is talking about BB10, and answering Shane's questions about the final four.  Dan says that Jerry loved Memphis, but didn't know that Dan and Memphis had a Final Two.  He says Keesha left in fourth place.

(Shane is really trying to figure Dan out, I think.)

Dan wants to talk about JoJo AGAIN, and wonders how she would have done in some of the competitions.  Ian says everyone thought JoJo was in the Jury House for awhile, but Britney says that was not the case.  Dan got called to the DR and Ian says to Shane, "just think, one of us three is going to watch Britney's wedding video in the Jury House".

Shane:  I'd kind of like to see it.

Now Danielle comes in and they discuss how it will go on Thursday's live show.  She says there will be a POV competition, but then the person voting will stand up and vote live, right there in the living room.

Ian says he's scared, but then reminds her that "a lot of people in the jury house hate him".  He lists Ashley and Frank.  (Don't forget about Jenn!)  Ian says last year there was "patio furniture in the living room".   They think there is extra seating room in the living room this year because there were so many people in the house.  Every other year the living room was squared off in formation.

Ian plans to pack tomorrow, and Shane thinks all three guys should pack and he's kind of complaining about it, pointing out that Danielle doesn't have to pack.  Danielle says she hasn't decided what to do with the POV yet, but shrieks that she "had to pack when she was nominated three times!"

Shane:  Shhhhhh..

Danielle says that Dan was white as a sheet when she was up against JoJo, since he would have been evicted too.  Ian says back then you couldn't really do your own thing, you kind of had to follow your team.

Ian:  Wil and I pretty much pioneered the concept of going against your coach.

They discuss Wil's physical potential and they all say Wil would have been great in the Swamp challenge.

(I heard Wil on SuperPass the other day saying that he was waiting and waiting for that competition but it happened the night he was evicted.)

Now they discuss how Ashley and Jenn were on such bad terms when Ashley left.  Jenn was mad that Ashley voted for Boogie to stay instead of her, "after all she did for her".  They're not sure what exactly Jenn did for Ashley but they think it was taking her in after she fell out with Wil.

They are obsessed with what is happening in the Jury House.

Ian:  I think Jenn and Ashley are going to town on each other.

Danielle:  Oh yeah.  They're fighting...

Ian:  No, I mean going to physically.

Danielle says that Ashley and JoJo were "both bi" and then says she and Kara were the "only new girls" who were straight.  Dan and Ian just split a pack of Nutty Buddy Little Debbie's.  Danielle declined, saying it would go straight to her butt.  They discuss how bored they are.  They don't think they will get any booze tonight, since tomorrow is a live show.  Shane is stressed about the live POV.

6.  They discuss the logistics of the finale, and their attending guests. Danielle and Shane both speak to Ian as if he is leaving tomorow.  For example, they all know that if you are on the Jury, you can only have one guest at the finale, and they sit in a room with former BB house guests to watch the show.  If you are in the final two or three, you get two guests at the finale, and they get to sit in the audience. 

Danielle told Ian that his friend Bryan can't go to the finale, because his mom is a huge BB fan and will want to be there (i.e. Ian can only invite one of them).  Ian said Bryan was in the film when they "kidnapped" him, and he promised that he could go to the finale.  Ian hopes he has forgotten.

Danielle says that if her mom and dad and brother come to the finale, one of them will have to pay their own way.  She will hang out with them at the finale, but will go to Vegas with the BB group.

Danielle:  My dad will not want to go to Vegas.  No way.  He used to be an way.

(Used to be?  Do you think her parents will even show up at the finale?  I have my doubts.  Chelsea Gheesling said that if your  loved one is in the final three, you leave for the finale one day earlier then the Jury family members.  Probably to ensure there are no travel problems, luggage issues, etc.)

Ian says this is the best final four ever, and he would be happy if Britney could have been in the final five.  He wonders if Britney told the Jury about the Quack Pack, and says Frank probably won't understand the concept.  Shane and Ian agree that Willie Hantz was right about getting the coaches out.  Dan lays on the couch and his eyes dart around, listening as they talk about this.

Ian makes fun of Frank now, saying that he plays video games "on the reg, with Zebra Cake Chris and Jungle Juice Dan, getting some strange down at boat camp on the reg".  He does this in a "big dummy" type voice and Shane laughs.  Shane is now playing with his stuffed dog, holding him on his knee.

Ian:  Get a haircut Frank!  I hope somebody called him Carrot Top in there...(DR)

7.  After commercial Ian is saying that it took him forever to a competition this year--he thought it would never happen.  Now Ian relives the live HOH "Before and After" competition.  He claims he didn't want to win, and just "put down 1,000" and was surprised when Julie called his name as a winner. Then they had to run in the house for nominations.

Ian can't wait to go home and watch the show on TV.  He might watch it alone first, or with his parents, if his mom wants to see it again.  Dan's mother got "obsessed during BB10", and "still checks Jokers Updates daily" to get the latest news.  Shane asks for Jokers web address, so he can look at it when he gets home.

(Is he for real?  He is on the show, and has never been to Jokers?)

Ian thinks that this is going to be as good as season as BB10, because there was all kinds of good stuff.

Shane:  We hope....

Ian says sometimes there are people in the end "who didn't do anything" and "who are boring".  Shane says there is juice "oozing out of his blisters" so he goes upstairs to tend to them.  In the HOH Danielle is in the shower.  Shane sits at the little HOH table and applies Neosporin to his fingers with a Q-tip and awkwardly tries to wrap his own hand without messing up the medicine.  It's hard.  He's having trouble.

(How can they have an endurance on Thursday when they have to hang on to something, if everybody's hands are messed up?)

Finally Shane gets the bandage wrapped around his finger--his left ring finger, and he tapes it up and leaves.  Danielle is still in the shower as he trudges downstairs.  Now Ian is telling Dan he's going on to some website and will say that "he won Big Brother". Dan wonders if they will be able to trace all of his posts back to him after that, but Ian says that is impossible.

Now Dan refers to Eff, Marry & Kill and describes it as a "game Rob Cesternino plays on his website".

(That is one of the oldest, played out "games" that exist.  Rob did not make it up, and is clearly out of material to keep beating a dead horse.)

Ian says he calls it "Fuck, Marry or Avoid".  Dan waits a beat and says "okay".  They discuss that Rob tried out for BB3 and was passed over for Josh Feinberg.  Then he was cast on Survivor Amazon instead.  Shane wonders if Josh Feinberg was "the amputee".  (ha ha ha  Shane is really clueless about BB.)

Shane is back to sitting in the red nomination chair, with his stuffed dog on his shoulder.  Ian blurts out that "damn Frank...he was obnoxious".

Shane:  That he was...that he was...

8.  Now Ian describes how he was out getting a beer with his friend John, and they were talking about their plans for where they would live in the fall.  When Ian  told his friend he had decided to be an RA due to some "summer opportunities", his friend said "Ian, are you going to be be on Big Brother?".  Ian told him that he "might be going somewhere" and then pulled out the waiver for John to sign.

The cameras change to the HOH suite, where Danielle is wrapped in her HOH robe, with a her hair up in a towel.  Her face is covered with a thick white mask and she sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for the mask to dry.  (I guess.)    She announces to BB that "it is very hot in there".

Now downstairs Ian tells them that he told his co-workers that he was going to "be doing some training out West".   Someone official asked him if he would be back in time for the fall RA training.

Ian:  I said maybe, we'll see how it all plays out, and then I told them that I hope that they don't hold anything against me after hearing about the job.  They said that as long as I'm not making nuclear weapons everything should be fine.

Ian still can't believe he's here, in the house, in the Final Four.  He's going to take it easy this fall, since he missed the fall semester.  He's planning on going to Hoff-o-ween, and will use his $4,000 in BB prize money to help him get there.  Dan says he realized that the most important thing is time, and it's important to have enough time to do the things that are important.

Dan:  You're so smart.  Why don't you invent something, and then you can live off that, and just teach or something.  Did you really graduate at 16?  C' can tell me.

Ian denies it and says he was going to joke about that going out of the door, saying "I'm nobody's undergraduate".  Dan asks him if he is on scholarship---Ian got a big scholarship, but not a full ride.  He is getting about $33,000 out of the $50,000 a year it costs.

Dan:  Why would a kid from Pittsburgh go to Tulane if he didn't have a scholarship.

9.  Ian says he has a "sickly" feeling about tonight, and thinks Danielle and Shane are talking about the vote right now.  He remembers Shane saying that he "didn't want somebody to win twice", and says he "is clinging to that". 

Ian:  Nobody would win against Shane in the Final Two.

Ian thinks that he would have a 2% chance against Shane in the final two, and Dani would have about a 55% chance to win against him.  Dan asks what he would do if he won the HOH in the Final Three and Ian says without hesitation that he would take Dan.

Ian says that between Danielle and Shane, he would probably vote for Shane to win.  He thinks they both had a rough start in the game, but Shane was a much bigger target and had to work harder.  Ian is not rocking while he sits on the couch.

Ian:  Do you think I would go out as a good player if I went out third?

Dan says yeah, he would.  Shane joins them and says he is hungry.  The seared tuna was good but it was kind of a small portion.  Ian is going to make a veggie and cheese omelet tomorrow.

10.  Dan is grilling Ian about his cousins, how old are they and where they live.  One of his cousins is named TJ and she goes to Michigan in Ann Arbor.  Dan is impressed with that.  Ian made a 31 on the ACT and only took it once.  He says it was a miserable test and he didn't want to blow another Saturday to retake it.  Dan says he would have made him take it at least 2 more times and he could have made a 33 the second time, and as high as 37 the third time.

Dan wonders why Ian's parents didn't make him take it again.  Ian said they didn't know what was up, and they were happy with what he did.  Dan says one of his students took the ACT the first time and scored 20, then when he took it again his score shot up and his test results got flagged.

Ian described a cheating scandal in Great Neck NY, where kids were paying other kids to take the ACTs or SATs.  Ian says one of students at Tulane was taking the tests for other students for money.  You could Google him and find him that way.  He was Asian.  Dan grills Ian about how it was discovered, and if there was a police report.  Dan also wants to know how this could happen---don't you have to have a picture ID?

Ian says it really wasn't a "big fucking deal" and "shit like that happens all the time".  Now it sounds like the kid at Tulane organized a ring of test takers.  Dan says it is better than organizing a drug ring.  This of course leads to talk of BB9, and how Adam (the BB9 winner) used his BB money to fund a drug ring.  Supposedly Adam got caught when he had the pills in a sock and flew through the airport with it.

Shane:  They flew with a sock full of drugs?  Frickin' morons....

Ian:  Well, he won this game!

Dan can't remember how Adam won BB.  Ian thinks that Adam was a good talker.  He was from Cherry Hill NJ.  They mention Sheila Kennedy and Dan says that she is one of his favorite house guests of all time, because she introduced him to some actor from The Karate Kid.  Dan thinks that she can be on All Stars.

Shane asks what she looks like and Dan says she is attractive.  Ian scowls that she is 45.  Shane says the name "Sheila" is an awkward name.

11.  Now Ian give his wisdom regarding who will be on All Stars.  He thinks anyone in their Final Four BB14 group could be on it, and possibly Frank.  Dan thinks Jerry from BB10 could be on All Stars and Ian disputes it.

Danielle is sitting with her arms crossed, and is involved with the conversation but has an attitude about it.  She got called to the DR a little while ago and was angry that she had just got out of the shower.  Now she complains that it was so hot in the HOH, and then they cranked the A/C and it is so cold.

She wants to know exactly who will be on All Stars from the female side.  They start naming Danielle Reyes, Daniele Donato, and then say they can't have any more girls named Danielle.  They think Rachel is a lock, and also Janelle.  Ian thinks Janelle will get Porsche on the show, and also names Jordan.   Ian doesn't think that any girls besides Danielle would be invited from the newbies of BB14 because they haven't won anything.

Ian repeats twice that Britney wouldn't do it.  As far as men go, Ian thinks Jeff and Evel Dick are "lock city" and Dan is too.  Ian says Boogie and Dr.Will would do it again, but Danielle doesn't think so.  They all admit that Frank would be invited.

(Jeff and Frank have already formed an alliance, sort of.)

Ian needs to finish his degree first.  They don't know how Janelle did BB6 and BB7 back-to-back.   Dan isn't sure Janelle would come back.  Shane still has is dog sitting on his shoulder---I feel the need to point that out.  Ian thinks Adam (BB13) will "vigorously try to get in, but will be left on the front steps" and won't get in.

12. Now they discuss the HOH endurance for the 1st part last year.  Ian describes how they "churned in butter" and how Porsche threw up afterwards. 

Ian also is an expert on sexuality now, and says out of a group of 16, to have two homosexuals, and two bisexuals in the cast reflects accurately on society.  He thinks the ratio is about right.  The camera is trained on Shane as Ian says this, carefully listening.

Danielle is not finished talking about All Stars, and starts counting out who is going to be cast to fill the female roles.   Danielle would work with Janelle, if Janelle wasn't going to come after her.  She is sure "Rachel is going to come after her hard..". 

Shane wonders if it is 12:00 yet---he's tired and wants to go to bed. 

Danielle is already pissed about her schedule next year, saying that "she doesn't know if she can come here again next summer".  Dan assures her she will.

Shane has Ian check the clock and Ian says there are 6 minutes until 12:00. (Actually, only one minute.)  As the show ends, Dan tells us all to go to his website and look into his new book Punch It In and also his book on how to get on reality TV.

Dan, to us:  I'll help you...don't worry.


  1. Does anyone really want to see Danielle come back? I like her less and less the more I see of her.

  2. Danielle doesn't deserve to come back for All-Stars. Yeah, she won some comps, but the only reason she's still there is because she was lucky enough to get Dan as her coach. He dragged her along (Shane helped too) and saved her ass a few times.

  3. Being hated by the fans is almost as important as being loved, though, from CBS's eyes.

    I had a friend who was on a CBS soap opera for a few years (ATWT) and he said that getting hate mail was just as good as fan mail as far as the 13-week contract negotiations were concerned. Anything was better than no mail at all.

    BB has to have a villain, and I there aren't too many female BB villains out there.


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