Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Dick at Nite Show - Featuring Dr. Will Kirby - Part 2 - 8-25-12 #BB14

This is part 2 of a very special Dick at Nite episode taped last week.  When Dick has an especially good guest, he likes to chop up the episodes to get more mileage out of them.  And I say "chop up" because that phrase fits---I think Dr. Will was in mid-sentence when Part 1 ended.

You can read my recap of Part 1 of the episode here.


1.  Dick does a brief intro here, saying this is his favorite episode of Dick at Nite so far, because Dr. Will is his favorite house guest.  He is quite peppy in his introduction of Part 2, waving his arms and pointing at us, wearing his NY Jets cap.

Will begins (or where ever the tape splicing begins) by saying he has some notes of his own "from different people", and he doesn't want to do anybody a disservice here, but he has some questions and hopes Dick is not uncomfortable.

Will:  Can you give us the reason or the background of why you left BB whatever-it-was, 11,12, 13, whatever?

Dick:  No.  You know and I know that our private lives are our private lives.

Now he gets into how his "fucked up relationship with his daughter" is put out there in the public now, and he's not going to let his life be made into a reality show.  He's not getting paid for that.  He's going to keep some things private.

Dick:  I usually say I left some bacon on the stove, I had to go milk my goats, I had to change the oil on my car...or some bullshit but the truth is that I have a private life and it concerns more than me, so...

Will brings up something Marcellas said.  He doesn't agree with much that Marcellas said, but he did say that you have to give the players space outside of the game to live their life once they leave the house.  He says the show is very hard on family members and some of the most zealous Big Brother fans don't understand that.

Will:  I travel a lot on business, and if one more person comes up to me and says "Briiing Brrinng" I'm going to dump a slurpee on their head.  That is the most derivative and boring....do you think you actually thought of that first?  I get that every day...can you please think up something more interesting than that?  I love to talk to the fans, but they need to give us some space sometimes.

2.  Dick is tired of people asking him how Danielle is.

Dick:  We don't talk.  We didn't talk on Season 8, or on Season 13.  We don't talk and we don't like each other, but I get that all of the time.

Now Dick says it is his turn to ask Will a question.  Will agrees..it's only fair.

Dick asks Will about Mike Boogie mentioning Erin's name in the DR when he voted to evict Janelle.

Dick:  I've been a Big Brother fan for years, I did my research before going on the show...but Julie Chen said afterwards that she didn't know who Erin was, and I didn't either...

(This question has a long buildup, so Will knows what's coming.  Do you think it's a "tell" that he suddenly starts holding his pen this way?  Any poker players out there?)

Dick continues by saying that some of the hardcore fans knew who Erin was...is Erin Will's wife or his girlfriend?

Will:  We're engaged...we're not legally married but she has a big giant diamond on her ring, courtesy of me.  We've been together a long time, we have a 2 year old son, and, breaking news for some of you...we have a baby girl due in 2 or 3 weeks.

Dick congratulates Will and Will says that we all heard it here first. (and he talks about the new baby on QVC, too...just sayin'.)  I don't think Dick ever completed his question, but Will starts answering anyway.

Will.  Let's see....I spoke with Mike Boogie today...today is the 25th, and he got out of the house the day before, on the 24th?  Well, Mike Boogie is kind of angry with me because I haven't watched any of this season...I have a 2 year old and I don't think it's appropriate to have a 2 year old watch the show..but he goes to bed at 8:00...

(Where did Dr. Will get the information on the house guests for his CBS segment?  Was that scripted?  I don't buy Will's statement---you know he has watched the show, and that he knew Mike mentioned Erin.  C'mon....I think he doesn't want to answer, obviously.)

Now Dick starts saying that he's not some sort of crazy fan who tries to follow the players around in their private lives, but "a lot of people know that Will had an affair with Janelle during the show".

Will jerks his head up at the word "affair" and waits for his turn to speak.

Dick:  You're looking at me funny...

Will:  I never had ....a lot of people are really going to be hurt by this, but I never had an affair with Janelle.  She's a really sweet girl, and phenomenal player, but we had a flirtmance.  It's really hard to win the show and part of the flirtmance was perpetuated by both her and myself, and very candidly for some of the right reasons and some of the wrong reasons.  If you look at that time, it was really before the economy went bad, and for me, I like to look three of four steps ahead of the Big Brother game, and I was getting a ton of personal appearances right after All Stars.  And if you look at who the final four All Stars- Boogie, Erika and Janelle--I don't think they parlayed their post reality lives successfully--I did a much better job of that.  If you go back and look at the records of that time, perpetuating the flirtmance put a lot of dollars in my pocket.  I was making a lot of appearances on womens' shows circuit in the US and Canada once or twice a week.  I was getting paid $5K, $7.5K, $10K all the time.  There was always talk of the Amazing Race --I would have done it with Mike--I didn't think I would be great doing it with Janelle.  Needless to say, I parlayed that as long as I could.

He mentions that Janelle did back-to-back seasons of Big Brother and she was kind of shell shocked.  He thinks she was so sweet, but it a weird time for eveerybody and was really an economic decision for him at that time.

Will:  So for the fans who kept hoping there was something there, and especially for the really freaky people, the 3 or 4 of you that probably need restraining orders, and were buying things on the internet that didn't really exist...you know...we made money for a couple of months.

(This is Will pointing at the deranged "fans".)

***continue reading after the jump***

3.  Dick heard that Will got a restraining order against someone who ran a website.

Will:  On two occasions I tried to get restraining orders...one was not allowed, but one was allowed.  Anyway...she was smarter than I was...she sold a gift.....when we went to the Jury I knew people were going to be mad at me so I used a computer and burned a bunch of disks of music that we talked about in the house.  Chicken George I gave him 70's tunes...Howie I gave him you know, like Booty Rap, and Marcellas I gave him Glam tunes, and Janelle..I gave her some music we talked about in the house, and she sold it on Ebay for thousands of dollars.

Will finishes by saying he has nothing but good things to say about the cast of BB7, but that is the past for him and it's over.

(So...Will answered the question with a lot of words there, didn't he?  I think he implied that having an "affair" means something other than what he experienced with Janelle.  Hmmm.)

I think Will looked down at his notes and realized that he forgot to mention Mike Boogie's comment on the CBS show.  He says he "went into work the next day and everybody asked him why Mike Boogie mentioned Erin".  Will thinks Mike was trying to hurt people in the Big Brother house, and that's what makes him a good villain.  He claims not to have discussed it with Mike yet.

4.  Will says he would have targeted the Coaches first.   He mentions Boogie, Dan and Janelle, and has to ask "who the other one is".  They grouse about how the Coach's twist was a crock of shit used to further whoever "they want' in the game.

Will:  Just about every year, Production contacts me and asks me to what extent I would like to be involved with the show.  And it's always limited based on my schedule.  This year they asked me and I said don't tell me anything, but I'm not interested in participating.  And within two weeks, I heard from either the person, their friend, or someone close to them contact me to find out what I was doing for the summer.  Clearly it was the worst kept secret...on All Stars it was unbelievable.  They were calling to see if I wanted to team up...it's so dumb that the coaches became players.

Will says Mike was annoyed when they spoke--he really just hoped to be a coach and not a player.  Will says that the ratings are bad this year and it could be the Olympics.  He says "Honey Boo Boo" on cable got 2.2 million viewers, and Big Brother got 6.6 million.  He thinks the reality dinosaur shows like American Idol, etc, are a dying breed and probably don't have a lot of time left.

Will says once you have a big twist, you can't go back.  He'd love to have another season like BB2---maybe he'd become a fan again, but they can't do that now.  He says he gave them feedback several times but they didn't take his advice--why make creative moves when they are making money doing business as usual.  Dick starts bitching like he always does, and mentions the players on the live feeds and what they said.  Will doesn't know what Dick is talking about so he looks off to the side at something else.

5.  Will doesn't think luck should be involved in the game.  If the NFL gave some sort of special power to the losing quarterback, the fans would leave in droves.  You have to be equitable or else you lose legitimacy.  Dick agrees and starts talking about the twists.  Now he is naming all the BB14 players and specific details about the show and Will is again bored, sighing and looking down at his notes.

Will says if we are listening to them and we disagree---then go on the show and try to do it yourself.  We should twitter Robyn Kass and tell her how awesome we are and what we would do if we were on there.  He gets a lot of negative fan chatter, and he is reminded of an old story about Picasso.  Two guys are looking at a Picasso painting and one guy says "I could have done that".  And the other says, "then why don't you go do it?"

Will is really into being a dad and values spending time with his children.  Will tells us a secret:  If when his new child is 18, the show Survivor is still on the air, he is going to get in "phenomenal shape" and go on there as an old crotchety dermatologist and no one will know who he is.  He will bitch about the shelter, the kids work ethic, etc.

6.  The two of them come up with an All Star list.  Will is at a disadvantage due to his claims of "not watching the show now".   He names Danielle (Reyes from BB3) and Nicole (BB2).  Dick says Jun Song from BB4 and Will agrees.

Dick:  She was a floater, but she used her boyfriend like a bitch on that show.

Dick would include Dr. Will and himself.  Will agrees with that.  Dick wants to know if Will watches Season 5.

Will:  Was that the Cowboy who was married to Nakomis?

Dick: Yeah..but she got her ass kicked in All Stars.

(I forgot she was on All Stars.....but married to Cowboy?  Oh dear.)

Will says she is super sweet and he just saw her in San Antonio.  Dick brings up Diane Henry and her crying on BB7.  Will thinks she is so sweet, like a little sister and he voted her to stay in the house.  He feels the same way about Erika, despite what Boogie's relationship is with her.

Dick mentions something James Rhine told him, that Will made one speech on the show, but then said, "here's the speech that I want to appear on the show".  Will smiles at that and is talking circles about that situation.  He says he was fine leaving in 4th place and had a deal with Mike beforehand (to split the money) but says he doesn't recall that specific situation.  He thinks James was so happy to be in the Legion of Doom alliance that Will knew he had to get him out, as well as Danielle.  He had to remove her from the game first.

7.  Dick thinks everyone was starstruck by Will on BB7.  He thinks Will can do that again in the house--is there anything that would convince him to go back to BB?  Will said no, that as he gets older he finds his most valuable resource is time.  He had a "big, big knee surgery" last year and he knows at 40 he just can't compete like he used to.  He wishes that they would start making the show more interesting because he used to love it.

Will says that we don't have to watch the show if it's stupid.  We should root for our favorites but if we are getting so angry about it, it's not the show for us.  He hopes the fans appreciate the real game play that we see sometimes.

Dick wants to get away from the twists, because it is "all about the characters".  After all of these years people still love Dr. Will's character, and this the strength of his own character on BB8 still gives him more opportunities to speak publicly than the winners of the last 5 seasons put together.

Dr. Will has to run---he has to go take care of "his real passion, which is dermatology".  Evel Dick mentions Will's affiliation with QVC.  Will says he has been working with them for 4 years now, and they "chose him as their dermatologist after his appearance on Big Brother All Stars".  He wants to come back to wrap up the season and says he will make sure Mike Boogie is here too.

Bye Will.


From the FeedWatcher archives:

*  On BB14, Janelle and Mike Boogie discuss her "flirtmance" with Dr. Will

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