Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Dick at Nite Show - STARRING JANELLE - Part 1 - 8-14-12 #BB14

This episode of Dick at Nite was taped on August 14, 2012, and is part of a special two part interview with Janelle Peirzina, aka Janelle Desanto, aka the Most Popular Big Brother Star of All Time.

Everybody knows I love Evel Dick's kick ass opening montage.  Today is no different.  Here is a still of part of the action---we all remember this, right?  Wake up, bitches!


1.  The show starts and Evel Dick introduces Janelle as "one of his favorites".  She is wearing a Minnesota Vikings shirt so Dick has to rag on that as a Jets fan.  She says she's been a Vikings fan since 1980---she was born that year so she says she was born a Vikings fan.

2.  Dick brings up Russell Kairiouz, from BB11, who appeared on the last Dick at Nite episode.  (You can see that here.)  Dick says he brought Russell out of BB retirement to talk about the season, and they agreed that most of the Big Brother fans are batshit crazy.  Dick points out that there are a lot of nuts on Jokers Updates, and mentions that not everyone is crazy, but if "you have one, two or three shit stains on your couch, you don't go and sit on it".  (ha ha ha)  Janelle says she likes Jokers and visits several boards but Jokers is her favorite.  She used to post there quite a bit.

3.  Dick says he and Janelle did a SuperPass chat together in Seattle and it is still the "most watched show EVER" on SuperPass.  Janelle wasn't aware of that, but says they had fun that night.  (More watched then the Jeff and Jordan shows?  I don't know about that.....)  He asks Janelle if she remembers the "crazy transexual woman who wanted to start a fight with him".  She doesn't remember, but she does recall going to a spanish restaurant in the Pike Place market.  Dick says they were "pretty lit that night".  I bet, huh?

4.  Dick says the fans who shit talk are pretty nice in person, and ask for a picture with him.  Then they go right back to shit talking him on the internet.  Dick says he gets his info off Twitter, instead of going to websites.

***continue reading after the jump***

5.  Janelle was surprised that Evel Dick wasn't in the house.  She was not surprised to see Mike Boogie, but agrees with Dick it was a shock to see Britney in there.  Dick thinks that Danielle Reyes was expected to be there, but Janelle says they should have picked a third male coach to play instead of going with a girl who may not have been up for the challenge.

Janelle thinks she and Dick were destined to play Big Brother together, because when Dick went to the Finals of BB6, he and Janelle "were in the same van".  Dick was also in the Finals for BB5, but remembers Janelle from the BB6 casting.  Dick says they are like two ships passing in the night.  Janelle says they always talk about getting rid of Chilltown.

Dick:  I will never, ever do Big Brother again with my daughter Danielle.  If they lie to me and she is there, I will go directly to the Red Button and get the fuck out of there and they can lose me again.

(I think he was implying that he would rather be partnered with Janelle.)

Janelle thinks the two of them would be amazing together and would sweep the house.  She can't believe that this year everyone was "scared to play with her and thought she was lying".

6.  Dick says that if you aren't talking shit with Britney, then she is talking shit about you.  He doesn't like that she talks behind people's backs instead of directly to their faces.  Janelle brings up that she tried to tell Danielle what JoJo said about her and that backfired on her, big time.  Janelle was trying to let her know what JoJo said, and she got blamed for it.

Dick tells her that Danielle is a "crazy fucking liar".  Then he says that Britney wanted to be BFF's with Janelle, and when she moved out of the HOH bedroom when Willie was HOH Britney got upset and cried. Janelle told her that her team was upset with Willie and she explained that to Britney.

Dick:  Britney took that personal, and then started saying that the coaches didn't respect her.

He points out that Britney is playing "Danielle Donato's BB13 game" trying to get in good with the newbies.  (He says her name and not "my daughter".)  He says that Britney's brother gets into it with him on Twitter, and gets mad when Dick mentions Britney's "wonky eye".  Janelle agrees that she does have one.

(Is Dick going to let Janelle talk?)

7.  Janelle says the fans have told her that Britney is the one who started talking crap about Janelle and put the target on her.  Janelle hasn't watched the episodes yet.  (I'm sure she knows that the CBS show isn't necessarily depicting reality.)

Dick mentions her animosity with Mike Boogie, and the fact that she was discussing Mike's legal problems and the "Uncle Jerry situation" with the newbies.  Dick says that got back to Boogie and he held a grudge against her.  Janelle thinks that due to what she told the newbies, she doesn't think they respect him very much.  She tried to tell everyone in the house that they need to break up Frank and Boogie but no one really listened to her.  She says they are a huge, strong duo and they need to be broken up.

(Dick is one of those people who claim to be too busy and cool to watch the live feeds, but then he mentions what he saw online.   You're a nerd like we are, Dick.)

Dick says getting Dan out this week would have been a great move for Frank, but a bad move for Mike since it would put a bigger target on his back.  (true)

8.  Dick brings up the flak that she and Boogie have gotten for going into the house with young babies, and that Britney and Dan are both newlyweds.    He mentions Jun and says he knows the two of them have had words about it.  Janelle is aware of the shit that Jun has said about her.  (You can read about that here.)

Finally Janelle is allowed to speak.  She says she made the best decision for her, and that her husband supported her.  She had her mom there, and her mother-in-law and a full time nanny to care for Violet with her husband.  Janelle would have had her baby with her in the Jury, and Mike didn't have that option in his contract.  He asked Janelle if she re-negotiated that aspect of her contract once she was in the house.

Janelle can't answer that, and doesn't want to talk about Production too much.  She is still under contract and "doesn't want to get any more trouble". 

Dick: They'll sue you...

Janelle:  They wont' sue me, but they will yell at me.

Dick:  You've been yelled at a lot this season...

Janelle:  Well they don't like it when I bring up contracts and stuff...

9.  Dick brings up that the information that Missyae put out there in the preseason--he seemed to have all of the information so they shouldn't have blamed Janelle for the information leaks.

(Supposedly they tried to blame Janelle and James Rhine for some of the leaks.)

Janelle:  Production thought Missyae was a hacker...because they knew things that we didn't even know, like stuff about the Coach's Suite...they thought it was a hacker.

(It is true that the IT people at companies can see all emails and are often responsible for info leaking out---maybe that is the source of the info that Missyae got.  He's not a hacker, but he might have friends who are hackers.)

Dick found it odd that info came from Russell Hantz for the Survivor seasons he spoiled, and now Willie Hantz was on BB and he suddenly had so much BB info.  Dick asked Janelle her thoughts of Willie.  Janelle was excited at first to play with him since he seemed bold and adventurous.  But then he overplayed and when he wanted to evict Kara over Frank she changed her mind about him.

Janelle:  I think the lockdowns really bothered him...with not being able to smoke...and having no vodka....I know he's not happy with me, but we were working together in the beginning but he fucked it up.  He had too many deals in the house.

Dick says that Willie had HOH-itus and thought the bed was his throne and ordering people around.  Janelle agrees, but what could she do---when Dick gets excited and starts talking you kind of just have to go with it.

Janelle thought Willie was way too bossy, and she didn't like calling their teams up to the HOH and yelling at Janelle in front of everybody for talking to Kara and Danielle.

Janelle:   He was trying to control me, and I'm uncontrollable!  This is Big Brother, and you're there for a long time with people 24 hours a day.  You have to talk to people and form relationships.  He and Britney are so paranoid!  And together they just made it worse.

10.  Now Dick talks about the angelic edit that Britney is getting from CBS.  He said when Janelle walked out of the house, the thunderous applause she received from the audience freaked Britney out and then she started trying to kiss ass on the live feeds.

He tells Janelle about Dan going in the DR to evict her and making it sound like he tried to save her.  Janelle gives that effort a big double thumbs down.

Evel Dick told Janelle that when she said "douchebag" she got bleeped out.  Janelle didn't know that and said that she didn't think douchebag was a bad word.  She thinks Julie Chen loved it from her response.  They both think that it is obvious to see who Julie Chen likes and dislikes.

Dick brings up Rachel never getting an HOH interview last year, and says Danielle is the one this year who didn't get an interview.  Janelle giggles about that.

11.  Janelle brought up during BB11 she and Mike Boogie appeared at the finale to provide commentary and Mike gave Julie Chen a present from Tiffany's and she didn't even acknowledge it or say thank you.  They both laugh about that.  Dick says he is a suck up, and Janelle says Mike Boogie is a piece of shit.

Dick:  I'm just going to say it...they all frequent his restaurants and he kisses their ass...and that's his's what he does.  But he didn't come back because the fans love him.

Janelle:  He was out 4th on his season.  He's basically there because they couldn't get Will.

Dick:  They didn't offer him enough money.  And he has no reason to lie.  That motherfucker is a doctor!  What does he need that for?

Now Dick brings up what they must have paid Tori Spelling to appear last year, and "to pretend to like Adam".

Dick:  And she was nine months pregnant, too!  I've never been pregnant, but I'm sure you don't feel like making a TV appearance then!

Janelle agrees.  She just wanted to stay in bed at that point.

12.  Dick says that even if Mike wins, and is a two-time winner, he is still not as good as Dr. Will.  He brings up that Frank was about to be blindsided and that would have screwed Mike up.

Janelle:  Instead it screwed me over.  Big time.

Janelle says Mike was so angry after he learned about the blindside and he wanted to leave and go home.  He told Janelle on Skid Row that he was lied to by Dan and Danielle and he didn't understand why people "have to lie on Big Brother".

They both laugh about that comment.  Janelle says he just couldn't believe he was duped and blindsided himself.  Dicks says most of his Twitter followers hate the pseudo-Chilltown DR sessions by Frank and Mike.  (Janelle hasn't seen any of the episodes so I don't think she knows what he means.)

Now they discuss Dan's repetitive T-shirts and Janelle says it is all about marketing for Dan.  He tells her that Joe yells in the DR.  She says he was really loud in his goodbye message and she noticed that.

13.  Dick asks her what she should have done in the house this season--how could have done better?  She says first of all, she picked "a shitty team and Ashley and Wil hated her".  Dick hates Wil and starts ripping on his weave.  Dick asks Janelle if she heard Wil's story about how he lost his virginity.  She didn't, so he says it was with some sort of pilot who gave Wil scabies.  (!)

(That's a new one for me...)

Dick plans to ask Wil about the scabies on Finale night during his interviews if he can.  Now he tells Janelle that Dan claimed he threw the Pirate Ship challenge and Dick doesn't believe him.

**At this point we hear Violet crying and it is the end of Part 1.  Part 2 should be released in the next day or so and I will recap it as soon as I can.***

***UPDATE***  You can read Part 2 right here.  Part 2 was definitely the juicy part....

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