Thursday, August 30, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Who's Your (Fry) Daddy? 8-30-12 #BB14

This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Wednesday, and in the early hours of Thursday where I live.

Frank is the HOH, and either Britney or Danielle will be evicted on Thursday night, live on CBS.  Unless of course you live in one of the many pre-empted NFL markets, like I do.  I think my local affiliate is going to air the show around 2:00 am.



1.  The show opens with Joe cooking in the kitchen, and he has a lot going on.  There is a large pot steaming with boiling water, and a small skillet sizzling with a pool of what looks like oil.  Jenn is in the kitchen too, and I think Joe directed her to a bowl of slop burger mix in the refrigerator.  I thought she might be making slop cookies, but Joe mentioned that "this time he used taco seasoning" so I changed my guess to the slop burgers.  Jenn put them in the oven and Joe told her they needed to cook for 15 minutes.

They still have a raging ant problem and Joe says they might as well get used to it---the ants aren't going anywhere with the wimpy ant spray that BB has given them.

Joe has a number of chicken breasts out that are coated with spices and other stuff.  He is apparently making fried chicken.  He put 4 or 5 pieces into the hot oil and the sound of frying fills the kitchen.  He and Frank just stood and watched the stove.  Joe says he remembers watching his mother do this all of the time.  They notice that the chicken is getting really brown, so Joe decides to remove the pieces from the fryer.

Frank held a large platter covered with paper towels by the stove for Joe as he carefully removed them all from the oil.  Frank said "good job Joe" and Joe cut open one of the pieces to check it.  The inside was a little pink, so Joe put the chicken on a baking sheet and put it in the oven with Jenn's slop burgers.  He said the oil was too hot so he turned it down for the next batch of chicken breasts.  Frank had an outside bit of the fried chicken and he blew on it before eating it.  He didn't say anything at the time, so that made me wonder about it.  Joe asked him a few minutes later how the taste was and Frank said the taste was great.

2.  There is a cluster of people lounging in the bathroom, talking about people's names and how sometimes they don't seem to fit them.  Britney throws out a bunch of names that would suit Shane like Brad,Chase, Todd or Edward, and says that clearly Danielle is a "Brooke".

Britney says that Frank is an "Elliot" and they all agree on that.  She insists that her own name is Vivian or Piper and no one agrees with that.  Britney says she wants an "Ivy League" name and argues with anyone who disagrees.  Danielle thinks she got that name from the movie Legally Blonde.  The group thinks Gretchen is a better name for her, or maybe Jessica or Jillian.  Britney whines about being Piper, because that's a 'Harvard name'.

Britney thinks Ian looks like a Liam.

(Ivy League?  University of Arkansas IS NOT Ivy League.)

 Someone says, what about Jenn?  And there is silence.  Then they say Amber and Britney disagrees and Danielle later says that she also could be an "Ivy".  

Frank came in on the middle of this and seemed to have a chip on his carrot costume about being called Elliot.

Frank:  What are ya'll talking about?  Elliot?  Where are you gettin' that?

Britney asked him about Danielle looking like Brooke and Frank relaxed a little.  He agreed with the name Brooke.  They all agree that Britney looks like a Gretchen but Frank says she just looks like Britney to him.  Britney thanks him for that.

She asked Frank about Jenn and he said she is "Jenn Fuckin' City", yo.

Dan told Danielle she looks like Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell and Danielle is angry about that.  First Dan said she looked like Bristol Palin, and now this.  Frank says that Willie looks like his name is Bo, short for Bocefus (sp?).

Britney says when she was born her name was almost Hilary and then repeats it twice to make sure everyone heard her.  Dan brings up Rob Cesternino and Ian knows who he is.

Dan:  Would you rather go to dinner with Matt Hoffman or Rob Cesternino?

Ian:  Rob Cesternino.

Dan:  Good choice.  Rob is a good guy.  Matt is the guy you go for drinks with, but you have dinner with Rob.

Britney says that Matt is "ripping all of them a new one" on his blog but that he is really funny.  They start discussing BB11 and Ian repeats at least four times that Shelley was the only one who "came there to play".  He is not good at presenting his ideas to the group and has to keep repeating himself in sort of an angry tone while everybody talks over him. Dan sees something happening here and just sits back and listens to the discussion.  It is very revealing, actually, regarding each person's knowledge of BB, and what they think is important in the game.

Danielle recited word-for-word some of the things Jordan said, and recited her HOH wins.  Britney brought up how Shelly got screwed over by the Duo's Twist that "came back after Pandora's box".  Shane could not grasp this concept and Danielle had to break it down for him at least twice.  He still seemed hazy on it, though.  When Ian kept repeating his chant about Shelley, Dan finally asked him why her game was so good.  Ian kind of hemmed and hawed, but I know we all remember Shelley going from group to group and lying to everyone.  Dan asked Ian if he had to choose to have Rachel or Shelley on his team, who would he choose?

Ian:  Shelley.  But if I could see that bed challenge in the back yard, I might have picked Rachel, because it was physical.

Dan:  I disagree with you.  I'd take Rachel all day long.

(I've noticed that Britney almost never mentions Rachel, and often changes the subject when someone asks her about Brendon and Rachel.  I think she is trying to keep herself out of hot water.)

***continue reading after the jump***
3.  In the kitchen we have alternating closeups of a shot of Joe making "white gravy" on the stove, stirring it with a wire whisk, and Jenn trying to mash a huge pot of boiled potatoes with what appeared to be a wooden spoon.  She was really exerting herself--I would guess that there were 10-12 potatoes in there.

Then Dan comes in the kitchen and Jenn serves them up each a plate with two slop burgers and sit down together to eat.  They are using ketchup and mustard on them, and Dan dumps a pool of barbecue sauce on his plate, too.  He says he can taste the taco seasoning and they both thank Chef Joe for making them for them.

Everyone else trickles into the dining room and starts serving up mashed potatoes and gravy, with the fried chicken.  But when I say "everyone" I guess I don't really mean that.  Britney does not get chicken, and pushes her mashed potatoes around but doesn't eat much.  (A common "look at me" strategy for her.)

Joe has a large green salad that may or may not include fried chicken.  Frank came in and sat down late, getting a bit of everything on his plate.  I've never noticed him saying grace before, but he did say a silent prayer with his eyes closed, taking off his Carrot Top to do so.  Then he put his Carrot Top back on and dug in.

I think Shane saw what was on the menu tonight and may have opted out, saying that he'd do the dishes for Joe.  I haven't seen him sit down at the table yet.  (This meal that Joe made is Off-the-Charts unhealthy, if you don't know...)

 4.  Now the topic of cursing in the house comes up.  Joe has cursed more in this house than he has the last five years.  Ian has a "potty mouth like nobody's business" but has tried to curb it lately.

Frank:  I don't want to brag, but I think I have the worst mouth in this house.

They all laugh, and Ian says he thinks Willie had the worst mouth.  He says that Willie used the N word repeatedly, as well as the word 'retard'.  Frank acts shocked about the N word and asks if there is an R or an A at the end of it.

Britney says that Boogie said it too, and Frank defends him, saying that Mike was saying it like a homey.  Britney admits hearing Willie say all sorts of vulgar things, but says that's not the worst thing she's heard someone say in the house.  She acts like she doesn't want to repeat it, but of course she does.

Britney:  I don't think she meant it to be as bad as it sounded, but Ashley said that when she sees kids with diseases or handicaps, she wonders what bad things they've done before, or what their parents have done to have such bad karma.

Everyone reacts, and Jenn whoops with laughter.  (I think she doesn't know much about what was going on in the house those first couple of weeks---she was very isolated and seemed to sleep all day.)

Ian says the Controversies and Criticism section of Wikipedia for this season is going to going to be quite long.   He later says that "Knitting One" was one of the best vacations he's ever had, and everyone kind of lets that soak in.  Britney then says that he might really like to be in the Jury House, and will be happy to switch places with him this week. Frank says then you can be there with Ashley all week and Ian said he's definitely thought about that.  Ian says he would if he could, then says he will probably see Britney next week and she can be the third wheel with him and Ashley.

Britney:  Oh, won't that be fun.

Frank:  Listening to what you said just now Ian, I'm wondering if I should have gone a different route this week.

Ian:  Not at all. I have no regrets at all about the way I've played this game.  None at all.

(I've noticed for someone who was generally regarded to be so sweet at the beginning of the season, he sure has a lot of sharp and angry tones to his voice.  He should learn from Dan to keep all of that under wraps, if he wants to be a great player.)

Then Ian starts talking about Celebrity BB in England.  He says Leo Sayer (big pop star in the '70's) was angry because "they wouldn't let him have clean underwear" so he went outside and scaled the wall and left.  Or something like that.  Oh, he used a broom.  And it turns out that he wanted new underwear every day, because he claimed that he wouldn't do laundry.

Jenn asks Ian to repeat that, and gets a kick out of that.

Jenn:  So, he didn't have new drawers, so he asked to leave?

Ian:  No, he just straight up escaped.  He went out back with a broom and beat his way out of there.

Ian has to clarify for Danielle that this did not happen in their BB house, and that it was included in some show about Top 40 moments in Reality TV history.

5.  They talked about watching this season on TV when they get home.  Frank joked that he would have people over and say, hey let's watch some DVDs.  He'll say, "here's me in a Carrot costume and a Spiritard!"  They joke about the chicks going for that.

Britney:  Let me tell you.  You'll never be able to watch this season without looking like a huge douche.

She told them one time she had a friend over to watch it with her, but her friend "wasn't really watching" and wanted to chat, but Britney really wanted to see it.  So she felt like a douche and ended up watching it alone.

Frank:  I think first I'll ask Mom and Nana how I did.  Then I"ll ask my buddies and they'll tell you how I really did.

Britney says every single person they will meet will say "you were my favorite!" but when she looks on the internet everything is so negative.  Robyn Kass told her that would happen.

Ooooo now they discuss the outfits they wore on the bed challenge.  Ian says he "didn't really look over there", but he asks Danielle if Jodi's shorts were as short as hers and Kara's were that day.  Danielle said they were longer.

Frank:  I'm worried I'll be watchin' this and I'll say damn Ian was right!  I need a hair cut!

They all laugh.  Ian, not so much. Maybe he remembers talking so much shit to Frank about his appearance when he was drunk last night. Ian says he gets "haircuts you can set your watch by".

Danielle went and got her shorts that BB gave them for the first challenge and they all say oh my god!  They decide those are booty shorts and Danielle said she had on boy shorts and she had to roll them up because the shorts were smaller.  Britney inspects them and says they are from Target.  Danielle re-read her HOH letter today and her mom said to "please cover yourself up" and Danielle thinks her mom saw those shorts.

Britney put the shorts on over her pants and fished for compliments, saying "Oh, I look dumb in these".  Then Danielle put them over her pants and turned around and they all were shocked at how much of her ass was hanging out of them.

6.  Britney said the Coach's challenge where they chased each other around the track involved football-style padding and she was really worried about what was going to happen.  And the Fat Stax one was dangerous, because you had that metal bar between your knees and if you fell off the bar the wrong way you could break something.  Jenn remembers that "they had a hard time getting Mike out of those pants."

Dan comes back from the DR and apparently they asked him a lot about "the dancing".  Dan is grinning and says he can't talk about it.  Danielle gets called into the DR and Ian says "this must be the fun segment".

7.  The house guests sat around the dining table and talked about different movies and TV shows.  Ian talked about the Las Vegas Fear Factor show where the winners were forced to bet at least 25% of their winnings.  They complained about the cost of movie tickets now, and how you can't afford to buy any food once you get in there.

Britney demonstrated how she would sneak in a Starbucks by putting it inside her sleeve and holding her hand a certain way.  Dan said Chelsea does that with a "whole bottle of Skinny Girl margaritas".  They discussed "going Ninja" to the movies, which I think means seeing more than one show or maybe even using an old ticket stub to get in.  I'm not clear on the details, but Dan has done it but blamed it on his wife and Frank calls him on it.

Shane goes to a drive in double feature and described how you would put chairs or an air mattress in the back of a truck so you could lay down to see the show.

Britney and Frank keep singing so we have to see the fish tank a few times.  I think they sang a Blink 182 song.  Ian rocks wildly at the table---can't he get some medication for that?  Some sort of mood disorder thing?  I just don't see how he can go through life like that.  I wonder if that is a reason why he hasn't gotten a driver's license yet--I'll bet he would do it in the car.

A few minutes ago he said he doesn't go to the movies much and Britney said you'd have to ride your bike.  He indicated that he could get a ride if he wanted to go.  Frank doesn't have anyone to go with in Naples.  Now Britney starts talking about the movie Major Pain and can't believe Frank hasn't seen it yet.  Shane knows that movie, too and the cameras have to go to the fish tank as they act out various scenes from the film.  Britney can't believe Dan hasn't seen it, either.

8.  Frank brings up the topics for the DR sessions tonight.  He thinks they will definitely have an endurance comp that will "carry over" into the Sunday episode.  He thinks there will not be a Have Not competition, since they are "askin' stuff" that they can include on Sunday's episode.  Frank indicated that they ask him in there about things they saw him say or do in the house and Frank has no recollection of it.

Danielle states that "there has never been a Have Not competition when the HOH comp carries over.  She repeats that again, for emphasis.

(Sometimes they say the first __ people who fall are the Haves, and then everyone except the HOH will be Have Nots.  I don't think we've done that yet.  Or we will have the competition where you choose a prize after you fall --a wrapped gift or in BB13, a snowball containing a prize or something bad.)

Danielle's brother likes to play Grand Theft Auto and "run over strippers with his car".  Frank plays that game too, and I think Jenn as well.  They discuss Mario Brothers and Dan's brother in law can play the game with one hand---the hand he doesn't write with.  Jenn likes to play Tony Hawk and Ian and Danielle both like Crash.

(I don't know a damn thing about video games so who knows if I'm getting these names right.)

Ian camped out overnight to get the XBox 360.  (Shocker!)  Ian grumbles that he didn't get to do his HOH tweets last week.  (That would have been interesting....)  Now they discuss Kara being Playmate of the Year in 2006. 

Dan:  A few weeks ago "they" asked me if I had anything I wanted to tell Chelsea.  I said please tell her I had no idea Kara was Playmate of the Year!

They all laugh.  (I saw some of those pictures and barely recognized Kara.  She was heavily made up and her boobs looked huge.  Much bigger than they looked in "real life" on BB.)

9.  Now Ian discusses again about how he put his bag down on Danielle's bed.  He said "they" kept saying to him that he seemed to really want to sleep in that bed.

Danielle:  I remember you didn't even tell me your name.  You just said can I sleep in your bed?

(The joke is that Ian already put his bag on her bed, before he asked her permission.)

Ian:  The first things I said "in there" was gushing over how hot Kara was.

After the commercial they are talking about Jodi.  Jenn can't imagine what it would be like to live in the house with her.

Danielle:  She stood up and said, I'm not washing anybody else's dishes...I'm not your mom!

Ian thinks that was one of the cruelest things to ever happen on a reality show---a cruel twist.  During the bed competition Danielle said Jodi was breathing like she was having an asthma attack.  They needed somebody to go back across the beds again and Jodi said she couldn't do it. 

Dan talks about some band named Panda Frenzy who always played the Ratt song Round and Round.  He and Jenn started singing it and we see the fish tank again.  Now they discuss Weezer--Pinkerton is Dan's favorite CD and Ian likes it too.  BB has to tell them again to stop singing.

10.  Danielle went into Skid Row to start packing up her stuff.  I never really noticed before, but there are little lockers near the floor for storage.  The doors open in a strange way, tilted down towards the floor. She says aloud that this is not going to be fun.  It always seems to me that clothes are stacked all over the place or sitting in suitcases on the floor.

Frank has styled his Carrot Top in a different way--the green pieces are curled up in a pile on top of the hat and he scrunches them together frequently.

Jenn talks about an earring that ripped out---it was one of the "guages" which I guess were the big disks?  She tells them it caught "on something" and they all tease her about that, since she wouldn't tell them.  The holes in her ears were big enough to put a pinky in.  She had to have surgery for about $500 to have her ears stitched up and she can't wear those type of guage earrings anymore. 

Dan:  Let me just say this,since you wont tell us. Was it worth it?

Jenn: Yes, absolutely it was worth it!

They all laugh naughtily.

11.  Ian discussed how much fun he and Britney had last night when they were drunk. 

Ian:  When I went in there today "Cole Slaw" asked me if I was okay. She said I fell asleep in the pool table.

Everyone was surprised by that.  (Britney had to see the medic last night because she was so drunk.)

Britney went into Skid Row to watch Danielle pack.  Britney needs to pack, too, but her stuff is in the drawers in the hallway.  Danielle wants to know what the DR talked to her about.

Britney:  Oh, nothing. Just some other stuff.

Danielle:  Oh, about last night? Medical stuff?  Your health?

Britney: No.  Just some other stuff.

Danielle is very neatly folding things and putting them in her suitcase.  She wishes she knew what her friends and family are thinking, how she's being portrayed....Dani is pulling out athletic wear for Thursday night and is holding up dresses that she might wear as well.  She has several one shouldered dresses and has a red one she wants to save for Finale night.   She thinks she's "going out" in it and Britney says she won't be "going out anywhere that night".

12.  In the living room Dan and Frank throw a ball around and talk.  Dan asks him what his quick "go to meal" is at home.  Frank says it's really a protein shake and a V8 juice.  Dan says that's not really a meal--what about if he's watching TV and is hungry.

Frank says he tries not to keep too much in the house, because he'll eat it.  He usually eats food shortly after he buys it.  He likes a particular frozen package of chicken quesodillas and says they are pretty tasty.  Dan buys the CPK brand on sale for when Chelsea is out somewhere and he eats that.

Back in the bedroom Danielle has a blue dress with the price tags still on it from Express.  Britney makes sure Ian and Danielle both know that the pink dress she plans to wear is "from a boutique in New York where everything is one of a kind".

Britney:  It looks like something I would wear--kind of prissy.

She is also going to wear her "nude wedge" shoes.  She has some bracelets that she bought to wear in the house that she never wore.  Danielle has her Candy Corn dress from when she hosted the competition. Ian repeats over and over again that it was a good idea to be hung over today, since they are locked in and it is boring.

Ian:  I'm glad we got really smashed last night.

Britney:  It was my last hoorah of the season.

Ian:  Even though I did make my first really off color remark.

They both ignore that comment and keep talking about their clothes and shoes.  Ian says he's been away for 66 days, counting sequester.  Danielle say it is 65.  Ian starts complaining and Britney tells him "don't be negative". 

(What? Did Britney say that?)

They think it is endurance, and Ian says that Dan "just couldn't do the Pirate Ship". 

(I'm not sure anybody really knows that for sure.)

Britney says that Frank and Dan have made a deal to keep each other safe.  Ian now seems to know it all about the game now and says Dan will keep Frank safe for another week, and then the odds next week for Dan to win HOH are significantly better.  He'll cut Frank the next week, and then Ian and Danielle can work with Dan for the rest of the game.

Ian will stay up on whatever it is until Dan and Shane fall.  Ian wants to know who Danielle will go after and she says "it's obvious."  Ian is certain that Britney is leaving as a personal attack against him, and Dan put it all together.

Ian:  It's actually refreshing to see that Frank is is easily manipulated by Dan.

(Personally I think Ian wasted his HOH by evicting Ashley.  WTF was that?)

Ian is glad he will get the full stipend.  He continues to badmouth Frank by saying that the fact that he needs to win every week shows that he's not a good player.  He hopes to evict Frank or Jenn next week, or maybe Dan since Jenn is "less likely to win a competiton".

Ian says he talked to Dan in the bathroom this morning, and that Dan said they had a good run.  He remembers Dan telling them when they formed the Quack Pack that "his first word is always good".  Ian says that was Dan's first word.  Now Ian says Frank has no social game and that is why everybody always wants him out.  Ian feels that anybody in the Final Two against Frank would win.

(Then why would everybody want Frank out of the game?)

Ian:  Let's face it, the Quack Pack was the best game in the house.  We played three rounds and no one suspected.  I had to show my cards when I won HOH, but otherwise...

(Not true.  He showed his hand with the vote to evict Mike Boogie, and the words Ian said to Mike at the door.  Mike told Frank on the way out and that is when the tide turned against Ian.)

13.  Ian continues to rail bitterly about how horrible Frank is.  He mentions the comment he made last night about how long he's been watching BB (the comment about 9-11 that upset Jenn) and says what he said was purely factual and there was nothing wrong with it.  But the thinks that Frank and Mike Boogie said about Dan after the POV last week were much worse.

Ian claims that Frank hates anybody that he's not aligned with.  He tells Danielle that Mike Boogie said she was too emotional, and that Frank said Danielle is only in the game because she was trying to be on a dating reality show.

Danielle:  I wasn't trying...I was asked to be on a dating show...

Ian says again that Frank is nominated every time because of his horrible social game.  He points out that he has a great game himself because he is the only one in the house who has never been nominated.

Danielle:  Do you think my social game is bad because I've been on the block twice.

Ian:  No. You have a great game.

Ian is clutching a teddy bear, and says that for the endurance, he will "hang on like a muthafucka, and will vomit if he has to, he will vomit on Frank.  Now Britney joins them and the hatred intensifies against Frank as the show ends.

(If anybody saw Ian's performance last night after slamming 6 beers, you might question the quality of his social game.  That's all I have to say about that.)

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