Thursday, August 23, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Mike Faces the Facts - 8-23-12 #BB14

This episode aired at 9:00 pm BBT on Wednesday, and in the wee hours of Thursday where I live.

Shane is in the last days of his HOH reign, and Jenn and Mike Boogie are on the nomination block.  One of them is going home on Thursday night, and maybe even both of them, depending on how the double-elimination goes. I don't think there is any way that Mike can stay tonight, barring some sort of unexpected Producer intervention.

1.  The show opens with a small group sitting in the HOH talking about Jeff's eviction in BB13.  Jenn must have watched this series (probably in sequester) and mentioned how Jeff stormed out of the house and then realized he didn't get to say goodbye to Jordan. Jenn mentioned the clown shoe.  Shane commented that Mike Boogie seems to be taking it better than he thought he would.  Ian said maybe he is now, but when he came out of that DR after being nominated he was furious and meant everything he said.  They all seem to be expecting a double eviction tonight---maybe that is why they were discussing Jeff and the Clown shoe.

Joe came in the room and announced that the "pork chops are ready".  He brought one on a plate to the HOH for himself.  At first I thought he was going to pick it up and eat it with his hands, he was touching it so much, but the camera cut away before he took the fist bite.  I didn't see anybody jumping up to run and get their own pork chop, but maybe we didn't get to see that part.

On Skid Row Mike is folding clothes, packing a huge suitcase and talking to Frank. When he left BB7, he had a "Chilltown '06" T-shirt in his hands and threw it out to the audience when he came out to meet Julie Chen.  (I remember that...)  Then a few years later Dr. Will was making some sort of appearance in Savannah Georgia and a lady showed up and said she had driven for 8 hours to see him.  She had the T-shirt and wanted Dr. Will to sign it.

Mike says he's been thinking about it, and this eviction is kind of like his eviction from BB2.  He left the house early, after the efforts of a "41 year old redneck" who hated him.  (Kent?)  He knows that Dan is behind his eviction, and he's kind of trying to act like he doesn't care. But he does.  And he did back then, too.  He is happy that Frank gets to stay, and will be cheering Frank on from home.  His life during BB2 was so different---he owned a bar back then (Belly) but his life was much different back then.  Mike seems wistful and may even be a tad teary.  It's a real moment for him with his new friend Frank.

2.  Back in the HOH Ian is telling everyone that they will have another fast forward and double eviction when they are down to six.  Joe announces that he is "going to get more pork chops".  Britney comes out of the HOH shower wrapped in a towel.

Mike and Frank have moved to the patio.  I guess Mike has finished packing.  He says that he feels badly about his relationship with Dan now.  It's not like Dan lives in LA or anything, but Mike would have liked to end things on a positive note.

Mike:  Maybe we should have gone and talked to him after the nomination, instead of taking such a hard line....

Mike says that the night when Dan asked to speak to Mike alone and he said no, that is when he thinks he became an absolute target.  Frank thinks that Dan truly is sorry that Mike has to leave, but Mike isn't so sure.  Everyone probably thinks that Mike will come back to the finale and "be all jolly" but Mike is just coming back on finale night to fulfill a contractual obligation.

3.  Mike gives his usual shout outs to Kim Grant, Joe Vance and Will Kirby, even though it's in the evening now.  He's not sure if they watch the Showtime show, but he knows they will be watching the CBS show on Thursday night.

Mike:  Hey Dr. Tattoff....I might see you tomorrow...come on by at Brady's bedtime if you'd like to...

Frank chimes and says "Hey Dr Tattoff" to Will, too.  Frank thinks they will have Mike go to a hotel Thursday night, but Mike doesn't think so.  His house is so much closer that they will just take him there.  (I  don't think Mike has a choice in the matter--I think he has to stay in the hotel with a police officer next door---it's a legal thing.  Janelle said you are allowed to drink but have to leave the door between the adjoining rooms open.  They are worried someone will "hurt themself".)

Mike has an idea that his mom might be out in LA.  He says maybe she heard about the house vote and stayed home in New Hampshire, but "part of him thinks she will be out there with Brady" when he is evicted.

(I think Brady will be there...the interest in Mike's baby situation has been OFF THE CHARTS this year.  More popular than Willie's stuff, and Janelle's eviction---nearly one of the top search topics for all four seasons I have documented on this website.)

Mike gives a shout out to Wil Heuser---too bad Wil is in Kentucky or Mike would go out for drinks with him and laugh about this while thing.

Mike:  No more jokes about Jodi, though!

They laugh.  Mike is going to order some sort of "boat camper" shirt online as soon as he can and might wear it to the finale.  (I guess is is a Wil thing.)  Maybe he mean's Wil's captains hat--that was a cool hat for sure.

***continue reading after the jump***

4.  Britney came out to the backyard and is teary looking.  She seems to avoid them and goes straight to the hammock.  Mike tells Frank he saw her and Danielle in the bathroom and they were both wiping their eyes---he has no idea why.  Frank thinks it is because tomorrow is her birthday and Mike says maybe that's it.  He certainly doesn't seem to think they are crying about him...

Ian comes out and rocks with Britne in the hammock.  Ian talks about what they should do over the next few days if the game accelerates.  Britney doesn't even think she is on anybody's radar, but Ashley hates her so much, it seems.  They have been talking about who they want to win the next HOH, that would still leave other available to play in the next HOH competition.

5.  After the break we see Ashley under the covers in the Boom Boom Room, and Britney came in to see her.  Ashley is bawling so hard it is hard to hear what she is trying to say, but I hear her say how selfish she is.   Then Britney starts crying too, so I have a hard time believing she would cry over anybody but herself.

OK..sure enough Britney is bawling now too saying that she misses her husband so much, every single day in there.  Then they both start laughing while they cry about how crazy the house is how they will need medical attention when they leave.

Now Ashley is saying how hard it is to hear Jenn badmouth her and talk about what she is saying about her in the DR.

Ashley:  Sometimes I wish I had a gun!

Britney: For yourself? Or for others?

The cameras change on that....

6.  Now we see the HOH group discussing how Mike Boogie used Erika during BB7 and then kicked her to the curb.  Danielle says he called it a "homance" and Shane doesn't like that.  Now they bitch about how Frank calls everybody "bubba".

Jenn is telling them all of the personal attack comments that Froogie has said about them.  Danielle says don't worry Jenn, we have your back and Shane agrees.  Jenn hopes that Ian is thinking beyond his relationship with Mike and Frank, and Shane plays along with that notion.

(If she only knew...)

Now they discuss how Mike wouldn't practice the game in the backyard.  (?)  They think that is poor sportsmanship and "even JoJo" practiced the hockey game the night before she was evicted.  Joe says that he gave the cigarettes back to JoJo, but then she came back and gave them back to him.  He tried to "barter her with memorobilia", but she wouldn't accept it.

They laugh about JoJo's cigarette offer now.  Jenn says Ian is really bothered that Mike Boogie wouldn't practice the game.

Joe says "there will be a full bed open tomorrow" and Jenn hopes she can get into it.  (Skid Row is dark at night, so everybody would like to sleep in there.)

Joe wants to get into that bed too.  Danielle says "we all know what is going to happen" and when questioned, she says Frank and Ashley will start sleeping together.

7.  Back in the Boom Boom Room Britney is telling Ashley she feels badly for Frank, and that he knows he feels he was screwed over.

(That Britney is setting herself up, big time.)

In the backyard Ian is talking to Froogie about next steps, putting up Dan and Joe and getting rid of people.  Ian is totally acting like he's with them, but his comments could be construed either way, I guess.  Like when he says "we just need to win two in a row" he could be referring to the Quack Pack.

Frank tells Ian that he can try to get Joe to throw the HOH to Ian, but Ian doesn't think so, because Joe hates him.  Frank says Dan is going to "scumbag Joe as soon as he can", but Joe doesn't know it yet.

Frank:  And Danielle, she tried out for some dating show and ended up here...

Ian: She's watched the show before, right?

Frank: I don't know...I don't talk about shit like that to her.

Now Mike coaches Ian on his speech if he makes it to Final Two.  He tells him that the key is self-deprecation, saying he came in with extreme social anxiety, and was an outcast at time, rocking in the hammock all alone.

Mike:  Then say you are going to make it to Wikipedia, and everyone will come to your side the way they did when you rolled your ankle.  You're the most well-liked person right now, which is strange.

Mike doesn't want "any fake shit" at the door when he is evicted.   Ian wants to know if he's going to blast anybody, but he doesn't think he will.  Mike mentions how if you take too much time leaving, BB will "cut the audio and tell you to get out.  Ian wants to know who this happened to in All Stars but Mike doesn't remember--it was someone near the beginning of the season.

Mike started to give a rendition of what he plans to say and we went to commercial. It was something about a high school kid telling Gorbachev to tear down that wall.  Apparently he was talking about the famous comment "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall", and Shane didn't know who Gorbachev was.  Mike is going to try and bring that into his conversation with Julie, and talk about how dumb Shane is, and how he will always be doing hard labor.  He thinks he can transition into the story from just about any question Julie asks him.

Mike thinks it is just inconceivable that Shane and Britney would leave Dan and Danielle to work with Joe.  Mike has told "the wizard" that he is dependent on a "dumb fucking redneck" to save him in this game.  (Actually, a geeky 21 year old social misfit, Mike.)  Mike thinks he is up there in the comfortable HOH room "chillin' with the cool kids", but that is going to come to an abrupt end.

8. Ian asks Mike what he's doing for the weekend.  He asks him abut Vegas---Mike might go for a few days after Labor Day.  Ian's dad's birthday is August 28th, and he might have to "get coleslaw to call him" to wish him a Happy Birthday.  Mike says Ian is going to miss that for sure, as well as the start of school.

He asks Ian about the money he's earned so far-if he can make the Jury, he will make $8,500 in BB stipend money, plus the $3,000 he won from Mike's Coaches comp.  He wishes he had taken the $5,000 from Wil in the POV, because he thought that being the dog would get him somewhere in the game, but it hasn't.

Now we're back in the HOH room, where Joe still has his ass planted on the sofa up there.  Jenn is still there too, along with Danielle, Britney, Shane and Dan.  Joe says there is a "double evict" tomorrow, using the cool kid slang, no doubt.  Shane wants to go over facts to study for the competitions, and he thinks there is something coming up that will give them a special power like Pandora's Box.

Britney points out that the order of the competitions will make a huge difference on Thursday.  If the "wizard" wants "certain people" to win, then the HOH competition will be physical, and the POV will be questions.  If the order is reversed, then Shane can play for the HOH.

(All of these people seem to just accept that either Shane or Frank will win HOH every week---maybe that is part of the problem with their track record.)

Joe reports that Frank came up to him today and wanted to get in bed with him and tickle him.  He said "the tickle monster is coming to see you Joe".  Frank said what a good guy Mike Boogie is, and how great his little speech was.  Frank wanted Joe to know that Frank could end up being "the best player ever to win this game", even "better than Dan", and he would accept Joe "as charity for his team".

Britney is incensed by this, but the group is silent.  Then Joe says that Frank did not use that exact terminology (no shit) but that was his meaning behind his words---that he would carry Joe to the end of the game.

Joe: I am honored to have played this game with God in the house.

Jenn says Frank told her she would be 6th or 7th.  The group is pretty quiet as Joe and Jenn spill all of this info.  Jenn says why would she want to work with them---two people who sold her out and one who betrayed her.  Jenn thinks Mike has hypnotized them, and he couldn't treat Jenn like that.

(She thinks Ian has been hypnotized by Mike.)

They bring up that Mike didn't practice whatever the little game was, and are offended that he didn't take even 5 minutes to practice.  Joe points out that Mike might be "going into sequester for real" and may "have the chance in Pandora's box to come back in the game".

Everyone "uh huhs" him. (There is less than one month to the finale, and WAY too many people in the house for that.)

9.  Darkie the fish is going to die, Danielle says.  Britney thought so too, but he keeps pulling through every day.

Britney: He's been gonna die for a while now.

(Yes, that is what Britney just said.)

Dan thinks the DR has been kind of quiet today.  Danielle hasn't been asked any DR questions about the night before.  Joe thinks it is too late for them to include them in the show.  BB warns Mike and Ashley not to talk about their DR sessions and Jenn jeers that she knows who is talking to who right now.

(Isn't that what Danielle was just doing? )

10. Outside on the patio Ashley is talking to Mike and Frank.  Ashley says that Britney says that in her season, it was so much easier, and that she just hung around and talked to people.  (True, she didn't even have an alliance.)

Mike mentions that she was crying about her husband's birthday.  Mike says he is probably out drinking and banging another chick.   Mike thinks that leaving your husband for three months of her 5 month marriage is a very telling move.

Now they discuss how Father Dan knows what he's doing.  Frank hates to say this, but the fact that Dan knows how to work with high school children is probably a big help for him in this house, because that's the mentality of the people he's working with now.  Ashley says his strategy is working, and that everyone bows down to him about everything.  Mike sees people coming downstairs from the HOH through the window and is tempted to not let Joe sit with them on the patio if he comes out here.

Mike hopes he gets to watch them give Dan the boot right after he leaves.  Now Mike talks about how Joe will go home in October and find out that nothing has changed.

Ashley: He told me that when he goes home he wants to open a restaurant....and he has his turkey burger recipe...

Mike:  A turkey burger recipe?  You add some smoked paprika to turkey and that's your famous recipe.

Frank:  He's a fucking mook.

Mike tells Frank that is an ethnic slur and Frank didn't know that.  I think Frank thought it meant idiot.  Mike says that just because Joe is a cook, that doesn't mean someone is going to come up and give him a big check to open a restaurant.  And the whole cooking routine is not going to be that big of a deal on the CBS show.

Mike says Shane is about the same speed, and "doesn't even have the gumption to move to Boston".  Mike says those are two people that he could have really helped out after the show.

Frank:  After this, I might move in with Ashley and come work at Geisha House!

Mike:  C'mon!  I've got a loft and a blow up aero mattress!

Now they talk about who will take Mike's bed after tonight.  Mike says it is a good one, kind of cushy, and the farthest you can get away from other people.  Frank would rather share a bed on Skid Row then sleep in the Boom Boom Room.

11.  When we come back from commercial, Mike is saying that his body fat level is as low as it's been for years right now.  He says being in the house is a huge motivator---everywhere you look there is a mirror, and you're going to be on TV three times a week.  Having Frank around has been a big help too.

Mike:  I hate to bring this up, and I know she's a young girl, but can you imagine Danielle in about 7 years, after the metabolism slows down?  She's going to be huge!

They joke about the extent of Danielle's exercise over the summer.  Frank saw her do bicep curls twice and they laugh at that.

Mike: Britney might be able to get a few more years out of it due to the petite thing, and she doesn't really eat anything.  But with all of the sugared coffee and snacks, she might have a problem.

Now he says that Joe is going to be a  huge tub of lard in a few years.  They mention how heavy he was smoking in the final days of JoJo's time in the house.  Frank says it was just one cig after another, even though he said he would just smoke one every night.

Mike:  And Joe says, I'm not even smoking!  That's cause he didn't bring any cigarettes in the house.

Mike expected Dan to exercise more in the house---he's never even done Bootcamp once. Mike might not watch much of the show until later, but he does want to watch the last week or so of the shows, joking that it would be funny if Dan never really said anything about him.  But Mike knows he did...

(I wish Mike was on Twitter, because I'd love to hear what he has to say about Ian.)

Mike talks about his drunken mug shot, and how he decided to smirk at the camera.  Frank is just going to ask his mom, "OK mom, how bad is it?" regarding his behavior on the show.

12.  Now we're back the the HOH, where it seems like Jenn is having a serious conversation with Danielle about haters, and jealousy.  Danielle remembers her comment that if you don't have haters, you must be doing something wrong.  Jenn is trying to discuss what she said in the DR about the chicks in the house and can't wait to see it on the show.

(Jenn might be waiting a long time.)

They have a great rapport and speak in a kind of friend shorthand with inside jokes and phrases.  It's hard to follow but they are having fun, talking about what Jenn's friends will think about her actions on the show.  Jenn says there will be no surprise for them.

(They might be surprised not to see her on the show.)

Now they discuss Ashley and OMG I think Jenn thinks that Ashley likes her "that way".  I say this because Danielle asks if Jenn thinks Ashley is "doing that thing with Frank to make her mad?"

Jenn says she doesn't think so.  Then Britney comes in the room and starts wrestling with Danielle so they end the conversation.  Apparently Shane has been laying on the couch the whole time.  Something broke from Britney's microphone pack and Jenn says not to worry--it's an easy fix.

As Britney leaves the room to get it taken care of, BB asks her to exchange her mic for one in the storage room.  Jenn repeats that it is an easy thing to fix.  Jenn leaves the HOH so that Shane can have privacy.  Danielle tells her to please contain herself.

Danielle asks Shane if he just heard that conversation, and he says no, he was sleeping.

Danielle:  Ashley....she isn't .......and neither was JoJo.

Danielle tells him that "emotions were involved".  Britney came in the HOH and wants to know what the latest scoop is.  We go to commercial.  (damn)

13.  When we come back Britney has been told (damn damn damn) and she says she understands that "Ashley is not 100% heterosexual", but doesn't understand what that has to do with anything.  Danielle says that Wil was convinced that Ashley is an actress, and adds that Ashley told her that she "didn't like Frank".

(I'm not really sure what this all means.  I would have liked to hear what Jenn had to say---did she and Ashley have sexual contact?  Since they shared a bed?  Or did they just talk about bi-sexuality?)

Britney started grilling them about what happened in Week 2, and the order of events.

14.  Outside on the patio Mike discusses his plan to pull Danielle over to the side at 4:54 pm, right before the live show starts, to tell her that he got a special power from the glass box in the Arcade Room, and to convince her to keep him.  He thinks she is stupid enough to believe it, as long as she doesn't have time to run it by the group.

Mike asks Ashley what happened with Jenn.  Ashley said that Jenn is all hung up on "being expendable" and Ashley told her that she was the expendable person on her team too, and she just needs to get over it.  Jenn made a comment about Ashley's "relationship with Ian and Frank flourishing".   Mike says Jenn is deluded to think that the group upstairs will keep her longer than a week or so.

Mike:  That might even make me go to one of those crazy websites, where they write down everything we say, just to see those conversations up there.  I never said one bad thing about her.

Frank says even if Jenn wins HOH, puts him up and she stays, he won't go after her, because "Jenn is just small potatoes".  Mike says Joe has come over to the window three times and bent over to see who was out there, and Mike made eye contact with him all three times.

Frank:  He might want to come out here and get his pill, because he left it out here..

Mike:  Fat bastard.

Mike might address Joe directly during his speech tonight, and appeal to him saying his family is watching.  He will point out that he went to Joe last week and told him that he was going to be safe.  Frank says that he told Joe that even before the nominations---that he would be safe and not to worry.

Frank: Fucking Jo fucking Arvin.

Mike:  What an absolute piece of fuck that guy is.  A real POS----piece of shit.  A real fucking ingrate.

15. Inside we see Joe doling out large cookies on everybody's place.  They all say "Thanks Joe!" in an exaggerated tone.  (Probably making fun of Janelle.)  Mike walks through the kitchen adn doesn't speak to anybody.  Joe drinks iced tea with his cookie.  They do look good---there are chunks of Snickers in them and everyone says they are really good.

Danielle:  I'm going to go home and not know what to do with myself---all of these delicious meals!

I can see the fire extinguisher mounted on the underside of counter, just to the right of the stove.  I don't think I've ever noticed that.  Joe got up and got another cookie, and dropped another one on Danielle's plate.  She gave Jenn half of  it.  I think the cookies are probably about 4 inches in diameter, maybe 5 inches.

Joe:  I made these out of my head.  A new recipe...totally out of my head.

Dan thinks the cookies will be "like, rock hard in two hours".  Joe said "that's what she said".  Danielle commented that was " a long time to wait".  Britney says her birthday was pretty good.

Ian:  Have I ever told you the story of the Thanksgiving blow job?

They all gather around to hear.  It is a guy from Ian's school, not him.  The guy was an engineering physics student.  He is holding a cookie and rocking back and forth in the chair.  He gets to the point of the story and the cameras change.

(I'm pretty sure the story ends with the girl vomiting on the guy's dick....just a guess.)

Frank sees everyone inside, and doesn't want to go in there, but he went inside with Joe's pill to give it to him.  Because we aren't allowed to hear Ian's blowjob story (I guess.)  we see a silent close up of Ashley sitting, looking miserable alone on the patio.  Now Frank comes back out and says "there all just sitting in there at the fucking table....having fun at Mike's expense."

We hear a bit of Ian's story and the "girls mouth was like sandpaper".

Then we go back outside where Ashley says that they are "all really scared" because they saw Frank "do the thing".  (I guess they got to practice with something that might be one of the competitions.)  Frank loved hearing this and wanted her to repeat it.

16.  Back inside Joe is discussing "sac suckage" and everyone is chuckling.  Ian says that if Joe's sex life is as great as he says it is, he must own stock of Viagra.  Shane wants to know if any of the girls had a guy or girl not know what to do as far as oral sex goes.  Jenn says that she has had guys come up and try to get tips from her on oral sex.  She said it is all about body language and you have to pay attention to it to gauge their response.

Dan looks at the camera and says to Chelsea that he'll be home soon.  Danielle says Dan will go straight to the hotel room when he gets out and Britney says the hotel room will catch on fire, the TV will be broken, etc.

They joke that Wil has watched and rewound the footage of Jodi over and over.  Britney says that she would have forgotten all about Jodi if Wil hadn't kept mentioning her.

(Jodi said on a podcast that one of her biggest disappointments was how Britney totally blew her off when she tried to talk to her in the BB14 house.)

Now Shane starts talking about the Vegas bash and Britney has to remind him that is has nothing to do with the CBS show and it is totally unrelated to the finale and the wrap party.  Shane has heard that there is a bus from LA to the Vegas party but Britney doesn't know about it.

Britney is playing with Play Doh and making various shapes.  She quotes a few lines from The Social Network and is obviously a big Mark Zuckerburg fan.  Now she talks about how great the score was, and Jenn agrees.  Dan likes the Garden State soundtrack but no one really cosigns that thought.  I don't think Jenn even responded.

Now Britney says "the Wizard" told her tonight that they had "worked with Teresa Giudice" and Dan said then "she must know Juicy Joe".  The cameras changed immediately on that, with a warning to Britney to STFU.  But in a polite way.

17.  Outside Frank is saying that Mike is leaving him his basketball jersey with his name on the back of it.  Frank is going to wear it to compete in.  (I saw Mike give Ashley his blue Florida Gator baseball hat, with toothpaste on the back o fit.)

Frank says Mike got a bad rap, but is really a nice guy.  He is just trying to be funny, and there are "insult comics" who say worse things than he does every day.  Frank says Mike is super fun and he is really going to miss him.  He hopes Ashley will get up early and drink coffee with him now that Mike is gone.

Ashley says everyone was against Jeff and Jordan, and Brendon and Rachel, and one from each team won the game.  Frank points out that no one was against Jordan in her season.   Frank wishes that Shane and Danielle didn't have that "flirtmance".  Ashley tried to talk to Shane in the beginning of the summer, but he has a "doorknob personality" and she couldn't talk to him.

Frank doesn't like the way Dan asks so many personal questions about everybody.  Frank doesn't like to play the game that way.  He doesn't think he will want to be friends with that many people after the show.  He can see going to the Kentucky Derby with Wil, but not doing anything with Jenn or Joe.

Joe comes out and Frank greets him by saying he needs his vote.  Joe laughs and Shane comes out too.  They are both getting in the hot tub.  Shane admits to Frank that he had a cookie, and when Ashley and Frank hear that the cookies are Snickers cookies that are homemade and not from a mix, they both scurry inside to get one.

Britney has just a few minutes left of her birthday.  She quotes the movie 8 Mile and likes Eminem and Russell Brand.  (gross and grosser)  Then Danielle says what is sexy is Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

Britney:  What are you, seventy?

They all laugh.  As the show ends, Joe is in the hot tub talking to Shane with some mad game talk, counting votes and discussing winning the POV.  Joe is certain that he will be going on the block if Frank wins HOH, along with either Shane or Dan. Then Joe tells Shane that Frank told him there is a girl's alliance in the house.  This got Shane's attention, but we did not get a chance to hear his response.

If he understood the concept, that is. 

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