Monday, July 23, 2012

Dick at Nite - with Brenchal -7-19-12 #BB14

This episode of Dick at Nite was taped on Thursday night, just after the live show when Kara was evicted, and stars Ronnie Talbot (BB11) and James Rhine (BB6, BB7).

I love the opening sequence for this show, but tonight we only see it in one of the windows, rather than full screen.  I still chair dance to the Evel Dick rock song, and watch Ronnie and James watch the intro while Evel Dick consults his notes, looking more like a teacher grading papers than an infamous evil reality star.  Here, take a look.

1.  Evel Dick is in fine spirits tonight, and opens the show by mercilessly mocking Mike Boogie's orange ensemble on the live show.  Surely you remember the bright orange cap, bandana, and T-shirt that read "Where's Will?".  Dick gets his jabs in regarding this outfit, and then mentions how old and jowley Mike Boogie looks at only 42.

2.  Evel Dick says he himself is nearly 50, and he looks better than that.  After some prodding James admits he is 36, and Ronnie says he is 33.

ED:  Thirty three?  Well god damn!  You've had a hard life!

They all crack up.

3.  When Dick introduces Ronnie, he says that he may have been the biggest reality villain of all time, if he hadn't cried in the Diary Room about missing his wife.  (ha ha ha)  James is jealous of this introduction.  James is enjoying a large balloon glass of red wine and wants to be sure we all know that.  He is sipping it and waving it around on camera.  Yes James, we see it.  You are certainly a classy guy.

4.  They get right into the Big Willie fight and Dick mentions how Willie made the "nigga" comment, and how we didn't get to see Willie mock Wil in "gay tones".  Dick says Russell him that his family is chock full of black and mexican half kids, so I guess that is proof that Willie is not prejudiced.  Dick says CBS won't show that to make Willie look bad, just like they didn't show Jeff Schroeder talking about Dumbledore.

5.  James knows Jeff in Chicago and says he is certainly not anti-gay, but he says stupid shit that makes it seem that way.  And Dick knows they want to "keep Jeff their golden boy and don't want to fuck that up".  James points out they do this for CBS' benefit, rather than Jeff's.  They want to be viewed a certain way and don't care as much about Jeff's reputation.

6.  Now Dick tells a story I have heard him tell before, where in BB8 he planned to tell Jameka that Zach had used "the N word" so that she would go after him.  Dick was called to the DR where they told him not to do that., could not say that, etc.  They didn't want to go there with racial controversy.  (Not to mention Zack suing their ass, huh?)  Dick mentions Jeff calling Russell a fag and that people are hyper-sensitive.  Dick also took heat by calling someone a retard and says people should know the difference between the use of words like that.  (I guess he means casual use vs. intentional slurs?)

***continue reading after the jump***

7.  Ronnie has various Mr. Potato Head movie memorobilia displayed on his shelf and calmly admits this and specifies which ones, in response to James trying to make fun of him for it.  James has finished his wine glass and held it up several times to make sure we know it.  He placed the glass behind him (on the floor?) and I will let you know if he refills it.  (James is a bartender somewhere in Chicago so I bet he drinks the good stuff.)

8.  Dick doesn't like how the show was all about Ashley's indecision.  They discuss how Britney overreacted about everything and was so paranoid.  James points out that if he were there, he would know Janelle and Boogie, but if he were talking to them in the house it wouldn't mean they are aligned in the game.  Ronnie agrees Britney should chill out.  James says Britney is a good player, but not a legend.  Dan is one of the greatest players ever.

9.  Evel Dick is making various snorting noises as he deftly leads the conversation from topic to topic.

10.  He asks Ronnie his opinion about Joe and his screaming in the DR. Ronnie doesn't understand his game---he tells everyone not to make assumptions (JoJo) but then he assumes his team will win HOH.  Dicks says it is funny how they all assume they will win HOH.  James is the one who came closest to accomplishing this, until Howie listened to Maggie and nominated James, his OWN TEAMMATE for eviction.

11.  Suddenly James has more wine in his wineglass!  He spoke to someone off camera for a moment---maybe they refilled him.  He took a drink and started to put the glass down, but then picked it back up and swirled the glass before smelling it.  So classy.

12. They hate on Joe for a few minutes, then James points out he made fun of Adam Poch all through BB13, but once he met him he loves him.   Dick points out that he does like Rachel outside of the game, and James even says that he didn't think he would ever be friends with Evel Dick.  Robyn Kass says Boogie is a punk according to Dick, but Dick really likes him and has never felt disrespected by him.

13.  James says Jenn said Guns N Roses are the best band of all time, so James thinks he would love to party with her based on that.  Dick says Kittie was a good hard rock band, but he never saw them live.  Dick saw her stand up on camera and "fix her balls" and then mentions the Frank FartGate episode.

14.  Now they talk about Willie's house meeting and James waves his wine glass around some more.  Here are two pictures to prove it.  I think some of the snorting sounds I accused Dick of making were the scratching of his pen and maybe a highlighter on his notes.  But not all of them...

15.  Dick correctly points out that Britney is the one who is at fault for stirring Willie up about the rumors of the Coaches entering the game.  James says any idiot familiar with the game could have done the math and figured out there were not enough people in the game and that something would change.  He point out that Ian should have known this!  (True)

16.  James picks up his wine glass to sniff it, and then sets it down without drinking.

17.  I will admit to being totally obsessed with James and his libations.  Sorry.

18.  Dick is drinking from a dark can of something I did not recognize.  Could be a beer, but is probably an energy drink.  He does not sniff it, but takes a sip and puts it down quickly.  Ronnie does not appear to be enjoying any refreshments during this broadcast.

19.  They are having a spirited discussion about various topics, and Dick says that Willie spent way too long up in the HOH and that he never would have done that.  (Evel Dick didn't sleep in the HOH room even when he was HOH, preferring to stay with the rest of the HG to monitor them.)

20.  Something happened to the video feed and we saw this for a moment.  WTF?

21.  Dick says he did not burn Jen Johnson with the cigarette.  He was smoking and she kept waving at the cigarette to put it out and he warned her that she would get burnt.  Dick says Eric Stein is still pissed about BB8.  James will not attend reality events that aren't charity-related.  He played a long time ago and feels that he is no longer relevant and most people woudn't even recognize him.

22.  James has to leave early again.  He has a "lovely young lady" there who just cooked him dinner.  James always leaves early.  That's his thing.  He will be on next Thursday and supposedly Trishelle Canatella and Mark Long will be on the show too.  (!)  Plus other celebrity surprises.  As well as Dr. Will Kirby who will do a one on one Fireside  Chat with Evel Dick.  (!!!)  James says not to call his friend a girlfriend and then signs off.

23.  Dick needs to take a quick break and then when we return Dick has Brenchal as guests!

24.  Rachel says it is a wonderful day in the neighborhood and Dick responds with "won't you be my fucking neighbor?"  Dick asks about Franklin the stuffed turtle and Brendon said they told him that Franklin got stuck in the pool drain, but they suspect that he was removed by Production and may show up on Ebay one day.  (One day?  Better sell now...)

25.  Brendon appears to be enjoying french fries and is very smiley and happy, as is Rachel.  They slam Kaysar by saying he never made the jury, even though he and Brendon were both evicted from the house the most number of times.  Rachel is drinking white wine.  Rachel mentions that Jeff is doing a show on CBS and Dick claims to know nothing about it.  But then he says that Jeff was not a good player.  Rachel counters that Jeff would be a better coach than half of the coaches this season.

26.  Rachel's rottie Benz is barking here and there.  Rachel would have preferred to see Danielle Reyes (BB3) as a coach and they all agree.  Dick says Eric Stein or even Hayden Moss would have been better.  Ronnie says his wife is staring at him and they need to leave to "go see Batman" or he will be in big trouble.  So Ronnie hangs up with 10 minutes left to spare on the show.

27.  Brenchal doesn't know yet who was evicted or who made HOH so Dick tells them the news.  Dick points out that people's actions while they are on the block often dictate their fate, and he says that if Willie can control himself he can survive this week.  (This was taped before Dick had any idea what would eventually happen, so hearing Dick's analysis is not that enlightening to us.)

28.  It strikes me as a minor miracle that Brendon and Rachel are sitting there together, an engaged couple about to get married.  Who would have thought they would last as a couple?  I didn't...  They just bought a house in California but I don't know if they have closed or moved in yet.  Rachel took her time spending her money so that was smart.

29.  It doesn't sound like Brendon and Rachel have been watching any BB in the past week, so Dick just told them every detail of the action.  Which we all know, of course.

30.  A video mailbag question from "Hitler" asks Rachel about her fake tears on the show.  They mock him and his tiny mustache and don't seem to want to answer.  Dick defends "Hitler" by saying he has a "light case of Aspergers".  Uh, okay.

31.  Rachel mentions they might have brought Jordan back as a Coach and Dick erupts, and doesn't care if the cat ladies threaten him.  Dick says Jordan "snuck through" but Rachel said she had a great social game and no one wanted to vote her out.  Rachel's coaches picks are Evel Dick, Danielle (Reyes?  Donato?) and says she likes Dan, but she's not impressed so far.  Dick says Dan's picks sucked and he got stuck with the two hot girls and Kalia 2.0. 

32.  Dick thinks Dan's wife is going to beat the shit out of him when he gets home for not using the right head when he picked his players.  Dick continues to sniff and snort on camera.  Dick attacks Jodi Rollins by saying she was a "beach ball with legs".  (so mean.)

33.  Dick compares Joe to Shelly from BB13 and says it takes a few weeks for all of the lies to come out.  Brendon is calling Danielle for 2nd place for BB14.  Rachel disagrees and says she will be shocked if she makes it to Jury.  If Dick were there he would go after Dan and his team, stab him and run over him and then go back and stab him again to be sure.  Dick says Dan and Boogie are both big liars and you can't trust them.  Janelle is the one who was honest in her season and Britney should be trusting her.

34.  Brendon continues to eat his fries methodically.  There are butterfly stickers on the cabinet just above his head.

35.  Rachel's favorites to win are Willie and Frank.  Willie because he brings the drama and reminds her of herself.  She also likes Wil and Ashley.  She isn't sure if Ashley is playing BB or some other game.  Dick wants Rachel to choose one person to evict and says "Pick One Bitch!" to her. Brendon doesn't laugh when Dick says this, but looks off camera to his left.

36.  Brendon says the people without strong personalities are the ones who get the farthest in the game.  Dick thinks it will end up like BB11 with the worst "final three in the history of the show".

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