Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Dick at Nite - Feat. Big Sheila - Know That! 7-22-12

I don't want to be a broken record, but Dick's opening for the show is KICK ASS. I effing love the song and all of the highlight video.  My favorite is hearing Amber tell Dick that he's the "devil in disguise"  (He's not really wearing a disguise, Amber..) and the video of Jameka clapping in Dick's face (she said she did that to keep her hands busy so she wouldn't slap him).

I might buy the song in iTunes, but I would miss the BB soundbytes imbedded in the opening, I'm sure.

This episode stars Sheila Kennedy (BB9), Jun Song (BB4 Winner) and Adam Poch (BB13 Loser) but when the show starts for some reason Adam is being represented by a crispy rasher of bacon.  Jun is always prompt and on time--very professional even though she lives across the pond in Belgium.  Ghent, if you're familiar with the country.

(I visited Belguim for my job a few years back and remember eating a lot of ice cream in fresh waffle cones for dinner.  There were a lot of organ meats on the menu over there and you probably know I don't touch that sort of thing.  A member of the local management of my company was assigned to drive me around over several days to tour the various company plants and warehouses around the country.  At first, I was excited to drive around in a personal car with a local and see the countryside and hear inside dish.  But the guy's breath was SO BAD I thought I would pass out.  I had to roll down my window and hold my face to the crack so I could breathe.  Maybe he ate a lot of organ meat and had a few year's worth stuck between his teeth.  I hope Jun's husband has better breath--I'm sure she would let him know if he didn't.)

1.  Dick jumps right in and asks Shelia which year she was Penthouse Pet of the Year.  She said 1993 and he totally insulted her age.  I would have loved it if Shelia said "Fuck You" and hung up on him.  Evel Dick is so disrespectful to his guests.

2.  Dick mentions that Sheila is from BB9 The Summer of Secrets, and that her partner Adam who won the show is currently in jail for drug trafficking.  Dick says they were all just talking about him, and they believe Adam "keistered in some coke" and was high during most of his DR sessions.  The girls giggle at that.

(Is that what you call it...keistering?)

3.  Now we hear Adam but do not see him.  Dick told him he couldn't talk about Tori Spelling.

4.  You may know that Big Sheila dated Scott Baio back in the day.  Dick has a special video message from Scott that he shows on screen.  His mouth is moving and I recognize Dick's voice saying that he had many great memories of using a machete on her bush.  Classy.  Dick says Shelia dated Scott before he dated Pam Anderson and Dick says he saw Pam at a club when she was out with Courtney Love.  He said she was tiny with little stick legs and bolt on boobs.

5.  Dick starts talking about Britney and all of the mistakes she has made in the house.  Somehow they started talking about Tori Spelling again and Adam says that he and his GF Fara have a deal where they can each hook up --he with Tori and Fara with Hugh Jackman.  (ha ha yeah right)

Jun tops that by saying she has a deal with her husband where they will each "bring the others into the circle".

6.  They are having a number of technical difficulties with cameras.  But I can hear everybody just fine.  Dick points out that Willie didn't win anything--Britney have him the HOH and he got too full of himself.  Jun called Jodi Kalia and Adam asked her to please use Jodi's name to give her credit.  Jun apologized and didn't realize she did that.

7.  Dick wants to hear everybody's opinion about Ashley.  Sheila says that Ashley's vote to evict with Julie was so breathy and annoying.  John, Sheila's "fake husband" likes Ashley and Dick says he just likes her tits.  Sheila said she seems like she's high all of the time and maybe that is why people like her.  Adam likes Ashley and Dick brings up her "grossmance" with Ian.

Jun:  I think Adam likes Ashley because Ashley has had as much work done as Tori has....but as far as she goes I think she's playing a good game.  She knows the game and is trying to play Jordan 2.0 but that's not working.

Jun thinks they aren't showing us her DRs, where she might be discussing her strategy.  Dick thinks she is stupid, and is the "ultimate jedi mind trick" and will listen to whatever she is told until the next person tells her something else.

Dick brings up the $800K lawsuit for Ashley to do an S & M porn movie. Sheila is shocked at that number and vows to start doing MILF and Cougar porn.

Sheila:  Cause I've been asked!

Dick has Sheila's Penthouse magazine and is going to go get a Hustler Magazine to show us.  Dick mocks Frank and Boogie's fake Chilltown phone call.  Jun is so over it --there is only one Chilltown and the rest don't cut it.  Even Adam didn't like it.  Jun compares it to "that fake Jorchel shit...one person in the DR at a time, please".

8.  Dick comes back with the magazine and shows us the cover.  He was interviewed inside with the owner of the Bunny Ranch (Dennis Hoff) when he visited for their anniversary (or something like that.)

Dick got to meet the chick on the cover and then shows us his feature article.  Even his mother who is a minister has this "tacked up at her house". 

9.  Now Dick does a "bit" with Mike Boogie gloating about winning All Stars over BB greats like Howie and Chicken George, as well as Jase and Kaysar!  (ha ha ha).  He starts to say "Ian is my boy...my little boy" and the video kicks off.  Note the T-shirt...hmmm..

Adam is clueless and Dick suggests that Adam google Mike Boogie and Uncle Jerry to learn what it's all about.  Sheila is sickened and can't believe it.

10.  Now Dick complains about the "Ian Date" and Adam is the only one who liked it.  Jun says it was old footage but Adam is charmed because Ian is a Super Fan and has been wanting to be on the  show for 10 years.  Dick jumps in and defines a date as having the "possibility you could get laid at the end of it", so this was NOT a date.

Dick thinks Ian could end up as a 40 year old virgin (true).  Adam says he would rather see Ian's date than the Danielle-Shane date and then Jun interrupts by saying that "it's not gonna happen because Shane doesn't even like girls...Shane is gay!"

Now Dick talks about Shane wearing a woman's tank top.  Jun points out it was leftover from the Coach's competition  but Adam says it was from the 1st HOH competition.  Sheila brings up Frank's "Julie Chen...." shirt and says they took away all of her Victoria's Secret stuff.  Dick corrects her by saying they take away Brand logos but other slogans are okay.

11.  Adam lost 130 lbs. before going on the show.  Jun gained 17 lbs. on BB4 and is the only HG with a CBS segment featuring her weight gain, according to Dick.

12.  Dick wants to know if it is the hats, or is something really wrong with Boogie's head?  And is it true that Marcellas is his stylist?  Dick rips on Mike's aging face and jowls.  Jun thinks he looks like a Hobbit.  Adam says he keeps wearing Chilltown gear and he wants to live off that for his entire life.

Dick says Shannon was part of Chilltown, too, and that she stayed in the game a lot longer than he did.  Dick says the only reason why Mike was on All Stars is because Dr. Will refused to appear on the show without him.

Dick:  Boogie rode Dr. Wills coattails the way Adam did to get to the final four!  (ha ha ha)

13.  Adam doesn't understand why the coaches get more TV time than the newbies.  (Adam is probably the only one who would ask that question.)

14.  This whole show disintegrated into Dick shredding everyone on the show for their appearance.  For example, he thinks Britney has a wonkey eye..does she?  Anyway it is too much for me to type and to Adam's credit he tries to keep his comments fact-based.  I am going to cut this recap off here but will come back and update it if there is some new fresh information.

15.  Also Dick is salty about all of the CBS reality show cross-promotion.  Survivor, etc.

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