Monday, July 16, 2012

Dick at Nite - 7-12-12 #BB14

This is a recap of this year's first Dick at Nite show.  It was not a live show, but was taped during the day last Thursday and was released on the website after the CBS premiere of the first episode of Big Brother 14.

1.  Dick welcomes his guests Porsche Briggs (BB13), James Rhine (BB6, BB7) and Jun Song (BB4 Winner).  James Rhine is openly looking at his PDA constantly, scrolling around impatiently.  He wants us to know that he definitely has better things to do.  And he probably does.  But I must add that he appeared to be using a Blackberry.  So you're not that cool James....

2.  Dick opens the show by mentioning the tasering incident with BB5 winner Drew Daniel.  If you don't know, you can read my coverage of this situation here and here.  Dick says that Drew was beating up his boyfriend and James nods that Yes, this is true and adds that it was "a domestic incident with a man".  Jun jumps in and asks if Drew is openly gay and Dick says he came out years ago.  (I have heard that, too, but could find no confirmation of it other then some participation in a Gay Support charity event, but that is pretty common in Hollywood, so who knows?)

3.  Dick welcomes Drew to the Big Brother "Big House" group (Adam BB9, Tonya BB3 and Amber BB8) and starts slamming Amber from his season.  He says that Amber often discussed "doing 8 balls of crystal meth" with Dick in the house, but denied doing it in front of her daughter.  (I don't have much drug experience, but isn't an 8 ball coke?  Or is it meth too?  I'm just a dumb pothead and don't know about all that.)  He said she was booked for child endangerment for driving "high as shit" with her kid in the car.   They joke about Amber taking bath salts in the BB8 house and biting off Eric Stein's face.

4.  Dick says he likes gay people and will have Bunky (BB2) on next week, and has some other gays lined up to appear as well.  He just hates Ragan, not all gay guys. (You can read about their recent Twitter war here.)   I do know that Dick vacationed in Europe with BB9's Crazy James (gay porn star at one time), but I am guessing the drug connection is the story there, not Dick's acceptance of gay or bi people.  They hung out in Paris and then went to Amsterdam where James said he was "tripping balls".

5.  Someone's computer is beeping and Jun tells James to close his porn windows.  James apologizes ("My bad!") and they move on.

6.  As you can see Porsche looks beautiful but is pretty quiet so far.  Dick put on his "Rachel wig" and vamped for a few minutes about that.  Only one minute or so in, and Dick is already slamming Rachel.  You can see James perusing his Crackberry in both pictures so far.

7.  They talk about the mentor twist and James and Dick both say they like it so far.  Oh snap --Dick asks Porsche what she thinks and Porshe says something like "well Dick, you could have been my mentor last year, but you left..." and there is nervous giggling from the panel.

8.  James hopes the mentors get rid of the dead weight on the show, because otherwise at the end of the season there are just boring people sitting around talking, that didn't do anything to earn it.  Jun uses Adam (BB13) as an example of this and they agree and then kind of apologize to Adam about it.  James doesn't understand how Britney was cast as a mentor due to her poor gameplay.  (I agree.)

9.  Dick agrees and says Britney got her ass handed to her in BB12 with one of the biggest blind sides in BB history.  Jun thinks Britney was a last minute substitution because someone else backed out (me too).  Dick says that is probably the reason why there was no confirmation about the 4th mentor until the show aired. No one thinks Britney is a Big Brother legend.

10.  James thinks CBS may have leaked the info on purpose, and should investigated it by looking internally instead of giving the former HG shit about it.  (CBS got pissed at people like James and accused them of spreading the spoilers.)  James says they could figure out who is leaking if they wanted to (true) but it is great for the show's hype and they know how insane the fans are.  James points out that some fans may even be able to hold down jobs and may work at CBS.

11.  James calls out some of the "creepy ass cameramen" that you get to meet at the Wrap Party and says they may be the source of the information.  Porsche gets a big laugh out of that and agrees.  James also says that it could be interns who "don't give a shit since they aren't getting paid".  (Don't forget about the IT department, James, who often have access to all emails...)

12.  Dick mentions "Missy A" and says he heard the rumors and then started shouting that he reported it first.  But the fact that he also spoiled the Survivor boot list and there is a Hantz on the show this year seems strange.  They agree there are no prizes for spoiling except for the egos involved. (And trust me there were some HUGE egos involved this year....)

13.  Dick says the newbies didn't give Britney a very warm welcome when they saw her.   No one wanted to be on her team and it was an awkward TV moment.

14.  James can't wait to see the Mentors turn on each other and the newbies turn against them.  Dick thinks Boogie will team with Dan and they will be "Chilltown 2.0".  Jun laughs that Dan will say "buy my book" in the Chilltown DR sessions.  You know, with the "Brrrrring"!. 

15.  Jun doesn't think we should underestimate anybody who leaves a newborn baby to go play Big Brother.  Jun has a real stick up her ass about this. I wrote about it here.

16.  Dick confirms that he "was never asked" to be a mentor, and is happy about it.  He thinks the money is too low, and he would rather appear on All Stars.  James points out that for $100K, you are just getting paid to mentor, and you don't have to deal with the shit like getting nominated, being a Have Not, etc.

17.  James says he calls their bluffs and thinks both Dick and Jun would have done it if they were asked.  (That's why I love James.)  Dick says that after tax that $100K is only $50K.

18.  James doesn't think there will be another BB All Stars.  Instead they will continue to bring in past HG in 'drips and drabs' like they are doing now.  They mention the Survivor connection now and the potential to cross promote.

19.  James gets up and walks through his Chicago apartment to his closet and rummages around.  I think he got some shoes or socks or something and they joke about him coming out of the closet.  ("Like Drew!", Dick says.)

20.  At the time they taped this show, they didn't know that Willie Hantz became HOH, so they are all saying he will be the first one evicted, case closed.  No one steps up to say any different ideas of Willie.  (Dick:  You're a fucking carbon copy of Russell, Bitch!)  ***I think Dick did watch the East Coast premiere before taping this, so he and Jun both know the Mentor teams.***

21.  James has to go--and so does Porsche.  She has to "go to Santa Monica" and is going to watch the CBS premiere at "the Charleston".  James says he will be back later this season, but not if Joe from BB8 is there--he hates him.

22.  So now we're down to Jun and Dick.  Jun jokes that the "kids are gone" and now it is just the two who "know what the fuck is going on" because they won.

23.  They hate on Rachel for a few minutes.  Jun says that Rachel says she is "retired" now since there are no more CBS shows she can be on right now.  She thinks Rachel will "go to Bravo or something" and then mentions she has a house hunting show coming up on HGTV and some show with Richard Hatch.  (I saw that one and it was SO BAD I didn't even mention it on this blog. Google "I'm On a Boat" if you don't believe me.  I'm not lyin' people.)

24.  They both trash Ashley.  Jun thinks her "spray tanning" business is a front for an escort service.  She's joking, I think, but take a look at this shit.

25.  Dick mentions the BB fans who were like "Misery" (the movie) and he had to block them because they turned out to be stalkers after BB8. I think he is comparing Wil and Frank to this.

26.  Dick points out that neither he nor Jun had to deal with being surprised with Big Brother all stars in their season, and having to deal with that.  Jun bites back that they were both surprised with Dick's daughter and Jun's ex-boyfriend, so they should get points for that.

27.  They think Cowboy and Nakomis got it the worst by being cast together.  Jun says that if they had put her on that show and told her Cowboy was her brother it would be worse than having the world know that she "fucked Jee for five years".

28.  They like Ian because he seems smart and will kiss Boogie's ass constantly.  Dick says he will not discuss Boogie's legal troubles on the podcast, even though it was obvious Jun wanted to go there.

29.  Neither of them like the new twists and Production vehicles like Pandora's Box.

30.  Dick says JoJo looks horrible without make up but otherwise he thought she was hot.  Jun says everyone wants JoJo to hook up with Jenn, but Jun says they will probably have a catfight instead and that would be better to watch.  They both agree that Jenn's performance in the first HOH competition was very weak and don't know if that was deliberate or not.

31.  They both loved Mike Boogie shouting during the HOH competition  that "there was plane leaving LAX that night" if they didn't win.  Dick thinks that was great coaching to get their asses moving.

32.  Dick was very opposed to the idea of Britney being a mentor, but he thinks Britney making Willie HOH was a brilliant move and gives her props for that.  They both agree "Dan's team is fucked" and Dick adds that it was doomed from the start because of his schoolyard picks.  Dick demonstrates that Dan's dick was choosing the team, not Dan's mind. (Does Dan even have a dick?)

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