Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Sight for Sore Eyes


and Cassi!

Playing Cornhole, Old Style

Jeff & Jordan are playing Kalia & Keith in a competitive game of cornhole on the backyard right now.

The feeds are showing flashbacks now, as there is a total blackout of information until the Wednesday night broadcast.   Tonight's episode of Big Brother After Dark was taped earlier today, when the five remaining houseguests were awakened for the day.

Jeff & Jordan celebrate a victory with a rare show of PDA on camera.  Ooo, and again:

Rachel: Who Wants to Pop Some Champagne?

For some reason Big Brother is providing Mimosas to the houseguests this morning.  Apparently it is a Final Five celebration.

Adam gave Rachel a heads up about this a few minutes ago.  Adam and Rachel are the only ones who seem interested, even though Adam and Rachel are being very loud and enthusiastic about it.

Rachel:  Well Adam, I guess we can just kill this whole bottle!

Adam:  It's Korbel, so it's got to be good, huh?  (ha ha those cheap CBS fuckers)

Porsche comes in complaining about how tired she is, and how she was up all night with the constant Fortune Teller interruptions.

Rachel:  Well, it wouldn't be Big Brother without interruptions, right?

Adam:  Remember, you signed up for this!

They also got a tie dye kit to work with, which Rachel is happy about it, and there is also a deck of cards.

Finally Jordan appears, looking less than enthused to be there.  They all toast.

Ahhhh, they are now taping the Showtime show for tonight.  Kalia just said it.

The live feeds will be down for 24 hours, so we will not learn who gets evicted tonight, nor who wins HOH, until Wednesday's broadcast.  I guess the next three hours are being taped for Showtime so that won't be live tonight, either.

Kalia Paces, Reciting

the Fortune Teller's predictions.

Just in case she stays, I guess.

The Fortune Teller Finally Showed Up

last night during Big Brother After Dark.  She made a series of predictions about each of the the 14 BB13 houseguests.  This will be the basis of one of the upcoming HOH competitions. Maybe the one tonight?

Since competitions like this one favor Kalia, they would be smart to remove her from the game.  Adam has been quizzing himself and the others on the predictions, but has been telling Porsche mis-information.  For example he told her the city was Juneau instead of Anchorage, or says the year 2015 instead of 2013.  Porsche is aware of this.

This would seem to replace competitions from previous years where people called in to CBS with wake-up calls and then a competition would be based on them.  Or when a parade of dwarfs and circus people would visit and say random stuff that might be important later.

Here are the Fortune Teller's predictions, one for each houseguest.  Some are kind of clever.  Others, not so much.  I'll let you be the judge.

-In 2018 shelly will make millions when her book "How I created the perfect tan and how you tan, too." reaches #3 on the all-time best seller list.

-In 2017, after the hot Miami sun becomes too much for her to bear, P will move to Anchorage, Alaska, and buy an igloo with an Eskimo named Ernie.

-In 2014 Jeff will disappear from society. He will be last seen wandering the Chicago streets muttering two words: Clown Shoe

-On Oct 15th, 2011 at 3:42pm Dani will reconcile with her father Dick. On Oct 15th, 2011 at 3:49pm they will go back to not speaking.

-In 2014 after sleeping for 19 straight days and making national headlines in a sleep study Kalia will earn her dream job as a mattress and pillow tester.

-In 2016 Lawon will take New Iork fashion week by storm when he launches his handsomefied line of hats, ties, and jackets.

-After taking 9 years to earn his PHD, Brendan will shock scholars and physicians alike after discovering the cure for an ailment that plagued him his entire life: Athlete's foot.

-In 2020 Adam will file for bankruptcy after investing his life savings into a line of bacon-scented, heavy metal teddy bears for children.

-In 2018 Rachel will give birth to a 9lb 6oz bouncing baby boy, naming it Bookie Jr. after its proud father.

-In 2012 Cassie will land a role alongside international mega star David Hasselhoff in the country-fied Baywatch reboot, RIVERWATCH.

-In 2015 Evel Dick will start a Christmas tradition by bringing gifts to heavily-tattooed orphans, changing his name from Evel Dick to Old Saint Dick.

-In 2013 Dominic will grace the cover of Seventeen magazine with the headline "total DOM-ination". He will dethrone pop sensation Justin Beiber as America's favorite heart throb.

-In 2015 Keith will land a job hosting a new dating show called "Love Rejection" but it will be short-lived, after it's revealed he tried to date all 29 female contestants.

-In 2011, after the runaway success of the Humilitard, Jordan will launch a line of Humilitard inspired items including the Humilicar, the Humilifier and the Humili-bake oven.