Friday, August 19, 2011

Welcome to the Game, Porsche

I tune in to Porsche making some sort of appeal to Jeff to stay off the block.  Jeff is listening, and being a little patronizing but  I don't think Porsche realizes this.

Porsche:  Obviously I don't want to go to the jury second, having never won a title....

Jeff:  Well, you are hostess with the mostess...

Porsche, giggling:   Oh, I know.  But winning something would do me good outside of here, and I still want to go to Cambodia.

Jeff:  Don't worry about that.  One has nothing to do with the other..

(Previously, Jeff agreed to use his Around the World for Free Cambodia connections to help out some charity associated with Porsche.)

Porsche:  And if you want to sponsor two did win a lot of money!

Jeff:  Well, that's not going to get you anywhere.

Porsche:   I know.  I'm just kidding.

They wrap up by Jeff pointing out that Porsche has never talked game with him, and that it's time for her to fight, etc.  Jeff also said that you "can't have Two Muscateers", so he had to put all three of the girls on slop this week.

After she leaves Jeff attends to some important hangnail issues.

Meanwhile Jordan, Rachel, Jordan's Humilitard and Rachel's Jugs are all laying in the late afternoon sun.

Happy Birthday Daniele!

Welcome to the Have Not Room!

They are moving into the Have Not Room, and are grossing out about sleeping on that bed.  (Due to all of Brenchal's bodily fluids.)  They put towels down on the beds as a preventive measure.

In case you're wondering, the bitching and complaining has already started.

Kalia reports her conversation with Jeff to Dani, and it sounds like Kalia thinks Porsche is the target.

Shelly: Think About the Drinks!

Shelly:  All three of them are big wine drinkers!

Rachel:  That means we actually get to drink!

In the kitchen, Porsche is being good-natured about her plight, to her credit.  She is sorting through the food on the table with Adam and is being a good sport about it.  Maybe she knows this will help reduce that flabby caboose.

Meanwhile, we see a stressful shot of Kalia, whose mouth is shut for a change.

But that didn't last long--she is now talking a mile a minute to Jeff about his plans for this week.  She would like to know if she is the target.

Jeff:  Well, you're in the pot....I told you that if you nominate me, you could expect me to nominate you.

In the house Rachel is talking to Porsche about making egg salad (a good idea).

About the booze:  I don't know how much the houseguests know, but those three bitches have been stealing the booze for the last two weeks. I watched Dani pour a huge water glass of wine and take it up and hide it in the HOH fridge the other night, and then go back to the kitchen like nothing happened.

I think they did this a lot, and I know Porsche was stealing bottles of wine as soon as they were put in the storage room.

(They should keep an eye on that storage room, since I'll bet Porsche and Dani will do something evil...)

Hard-Boiled Eggs & Jalapenos

are what America has chosen for the Have Nots this week.  The outdoor lockdown just ended, and the houseguests walked in the house to find this display.

Apparently Jeff got to pick who is on slop---I think he picked Dani, Porsche and Kalia.  And I think he did it just now, during the feed break.

Rachel offered Dani honey dew melon this morning, and I just watched Kalia eat, so this must be what happened.

The cameras focus on Dani flopping down dramatically on her bed.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Jordan talk about it in the HOH.

Jordan:  Wow!  Can you see how pissed she was?

Jeff:  Well, you can't not be a Have Not in this game and then get pissed when they are!

Outside Rachel, Shelly and Adam talk about their poor sportsmanship.

Shelly:  The funny thing is that everyone swore the Have Nots are over....

Adam points out that today is Dani's birthday, and she's a Have Not.

Shelly:  And she kept saying it isn't that bad...thank god Jeff won!

Apparently Big Brother asked for volunteers, and no one volunteered so Jeff appointed the Have Nots.

Jordan by the Pool

I think she is laying out to get out of that Humilitard for awhile.  She has two of them now, but one of them is too tight.

Jordan may be getting too tan, in my opinion.

We had a brief time out, and Jordan returned looking like this---did Big Brother ask her to wear the Dunce Cap?

Kalia is Eating Again

and she finished that breakfast in record time.


What are People Searching for Right Now?

To summarize, people are interested in the Humilitard, seeing various body parts of Brendon and Porsche, as well as all the nudity that they can find.

You'd be surprised how many searches are done for any information about Porsche.  Most of the Big Brother fans all hate her, but I guess the general public wants to look at pictures of her.

Last week there were a lot of searches for "Porsche Briggs flabby ass", so I don't think she needs to get too full of herself just yet.

Incidently Porsche did some "acting" this week on Big Brother After Dark, pretending that her name was Elizabeth and she was on a blind date with "Phil", who is Adam's alter ego.  I don't have words to describe the intensity of the douchechills I got watching her talk in a baby-ish voice on her "date" in the backyard.  The only enjoyable part was knowing that she was certain that she was getting great TV time---she probably looked at it like an acting audition.  She has said several times that she thinks casting directors, as well as directors, are watching her on the live feeds.

****OK****  Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mirror Time

Porsche splashes her face, while Jordan puts on makeup to compliment her Humilitard.

Eff, Marry or Kill?

Ralph Cirella from Geektime and The Howard Stern Show is a Big Brother fan.  He only watches the TV show and doesn't want to hear any spoilers, but here is his assessment of the ladies in the Big Brother house.

Ralph likes Rachel's drama, and he is not a big Dani fan.  He made a comment a few weeks ago that even Dani's own father hates her.  Well, someone told Evel Dick about that, and he responded as follows.

I'm sure this makes Ralph's day.  Literally....

Additionally, Evel Dick brings up a good point.  There will be six POV players if Dani is nominated, and seven if she isn't.  Because she won a POV ticket last week, she will be added to the other six.  So Jeff should go ahead and nominate her, so if she wins she can take herself off the block.

If she't not nominated, she will take off Porsche or Kalia if she wins the POV, forcing Jeff to nominate someone else.

(Last night Jeff was leaning towards nominating Porsche and Kalia and backdooring Dani if she doesn't win the POV, thinking that this would result in goodwill with Dani if she does win it....a bad plan.)

Rachel and Her Melons

She is cutting up honey dews and offered some to Jordan.  Jordan just woke up so she might have some later.

Jordan is having some trouble getting down the stairs and asks if anybody else is sore.  I think everybody else is sore.  Rachel's worst part is the inside of her legs.  Jordan still has to wear her Humilitard today, but probably not for too much longer....

Jeff and Jordan Wake Up

When BB turned on the lights this morning, Jeff grabbed for his T-shirt so he could cover his eyes.  Instead, he tried to grab Jordan's face and poked her in the eye.

Jeff:  Hey Love.  Remember when I poked you in the face?

Jordan:  I thought you were going to kiss me...

They start making the bed.  That must be a BB rule, for camera purposes.

Cassi Returns to Her Hometown

This is an article from Cassi's hometown newspaper in Allen, Texas.  Sounds like she has caught up on all of the Big Brother 13 episodes to date and isn't too happy with her portrayal....

Kelsey Kruzich / Staff Photo -- Cassi Colvin was a houseguest on this season of CBS' hit reality program 'Big Brother' until the show's July 21 broadcast. She returned to Allen Friday night and plans to resume her work in the modeling profession soon.

Published: Thursday, August 18, 2011 5:42 PM CDT

ALLEN -- After two and a half months on camera or in sequester as a cast member for CBS' hit reality show Big Brother, Cassi Colvin has returned home to Allen.

"There is no way to describe being in there," Cassi said of the show's house, which she shared with 15 other cast members for 20 days' worth of broadcasts. "It is the ultimate human experience. [The house itself] is a lot smaller than I thought it was going to be."

The show, which is in its 13th season, places a group of strangers together in a single house outfitted with 52 hidden cameras and 95 hidden microphones. Houseguests face off in various physical and mental challenges, and a different tenant is voted off of the show each week. The last remaining contestant claims a $500,000 prize.

"You've got the two-way mirrors all over the house, so even when you think you're alone in a room you hear the cameras," she said. "You never forget that the cameras are there but you just kind of fall into it."

In the early stages of the season, Cassi said her goal was to advance through the game as far as possible without resorting to any backstabbing or other underhanded tactics. She persisted until Day 20, when she was voted off the show. The vote came a few days after a spat with houseguest Rachel Reilly, who returns to the show after a stint on Big Brother's previous season.

"I still 100 percent believe that you can play the game as I was playing it, with some honesty and a little bit of class, and still go far," she said.

Though Cassi said she wouldn't trade the experience for the world, there's still one sore spot for her -- the manner in which she was portrayed on the show.

"The network, unfortunately, didn't show any of my gameplay," she said. "It was all me hanging out in a bikini looking at the birds. So I was really disappointed with that, because I am actually a very smart girl and definitely had a plan in there and was executing it. I could have gone really far had it not been for Rachel."

During the show and in sequester, Cassi said, all contestants are completely isolated from the outside world. They are not allowed to contact friends and family members, watch television or access the Internet.

"It was kind of OK as long as I could see her [on TV], but when she went into sequester, where I can't talk to her or see her, that was hard on me," said Cassi's father, Jeff. "When we communicated with the show, they wouldn't tell us where she was. They wouldn't tell us if she was in a hotel, in a house, if she was in the Caribbean, or what. They would tell us nothing."

Cassi returned to her parents' home in Allen Friday night. Upon her arrival, Jeff said he made a point to show her the massive outpouring of Internet support from fans, including a "Team Cassi" Twitter page and three YouTube music videos edited with clips of her from the show.

"There's a large percentage of total strangers that feel about her the same way her family and friends do," Jeff said.

Cassi plans to pick up with her successful modeling career -- which has seen her appear in magazines such as Glamour, Cosmopolitan and Seventeen -- sometime this week. But first, she said, she plans to get in some rest and relaxation with friends at TopGolf and other local hangout spots.

"Was I in there playing? Was I cutting deals? Did I have a couple of different sides going? Absolutely," she said. "Nobody knew that watching the show, but at one point I was sitting in a really good spot, and up until the Rachel thing I felt pretty secure to get to final 7, at least."

Does she think her run on the show will help advance her career?

"I didn't go on there with that intention, seeking fame or to further myself or anything," she said. "I've got no expectations, so anything that does happen I'll be ecstatic about."