Saturday, August 27, 2011

Dick at Nite Show 8-18-11

This episode was notable due to the presence of Lawon Exum, who did appear to survive being evicted from the BB house in that live shocker.

Evel Dick's other guests are recent BB13 evictees Cassi Colvin, Dominic Briones (PT) and Keith Henderson, as well as BB All Stars Howie Gordon (BB6) and James Rhine (BB6).

I did manage to take a few pictures before having to reboot the video.  Evel Dick's fringed valence cracks me up.  Rock and Roll Baby!

1.  Dick showed Lawon his favorite BB clip of Rachel jogging in the back yard and falling.  Lawon says he was on the elliptical machine when it happened and it was hilarious.

2.  Lawon had a chance to explain himself, and he went on and on and on, raising his voice like a TV preacher, while everyone else cracked up in the background.  They weren't laughing WITH Lawon, however.  At one point Dick asked Lawon a question and he answered with some garbled crap about "you say pig and I say pussy" and Dick said, after a pause:  Well, hey now, that may be!  (because he had no idea what the fuck Lawon just said).  A hilarious moment that I watched twice. (Because I had to reboot the video, but it was still funny the second time.)

3.  They showed Lawon the You Tube video of Kalia eating ("Kalia Hongry") and he said things like "oh that is just WRONG".  During Lawon's preacher rant he said something about Kalia not being able to protect him because she was too busy eating pita chips and Dick made him repeat it.

4.  Dick told Lawon about Rachel blowing Brendon in the Spaceship Room in the middle of the night with Shelly laying right next to them and Lawon reacts violently.  He can't believe that happened!  Dick assures Lawon that, yes indeed, sex was happening in the Big Brother house.

5.  Keith's phone keeps ringing in the background and James jokes that Keith works at Pizza Hut.  This leads Dick into showing a "picture from Keith's previous jobs".  It was an Abercrombie & Fitch ad that Dick says looks like a scene from a gay bathhouse.

6.  That is Keith in the picture above.  Keith explains that he earned $13,000 for that ad, and he went to the open call audition in Chicago "on a whim". He knows it looks like a bunch of homos but he is a straight man.  James wants to know why they are all trying to pull that guy's pants down.

7.  Dick shows another photo of Keith's previous modeling work.  Keith tells everyone that he is a human resource manager at "ALS" (?) and that Dick knows that. Dick points out that at the bottom of the costume it says "Little Trees"  and asks Keith if that refers to his penis.  Keith says: Absolutely not!

8.  At some point Cassi left the screen.  Dom explains that she texted him that she is having computer problems and is trying to rejoin the panel.  If you wonder what Lawon's apartment looks like, here is a peek at his private life.

9.  Evel Dick teases upcoming guests on his show, including Crazy James and someone else that I don't remember but was excited to hear about.  I guess I have some catching up to do.

10.  Howie is kind of a waste of space on the panel.  Dick asks him a question about the live show and Howie clearly didn't know what he was talking about.

11.  Evel Dick wishes that Brendon had to wear the Humilitard and walk out of the house in the tutu and spinning Dunce hat to sit and talk to Julie Chen after being evicted.  Cassi wouldn't want Porsche to wear it, since she would have wanted to wear it.  Dick thinks they would have had to "let the costume out" for Porsche to wear it.  And they they talk about Kalia wearing it.  Dick thinks she would have had "Camel Foot" if she had to wear it.  Dick shows us this picture and everyone retches.

12.  Cassi cried on the show tonight when Shelly got her call home to her family.  Dick said, "my girlfriend cried too....Cassi you don't even like her!"  Cassi said "you said it, not me".  (Shelly will be surprised to learn that even Cassi has turned on her.)

13.  I don't know what Cassi has going on the background of that room.  Is that a huge leaf?  What the hell?

14.  And here is a better look at Dominic's haircut.  I don't like it, but that's just me. He's cuter than that.  (Great eyebrows.)

15.  The panel agrees that yes, Adam would "take it in the ass from Shelly in order to get to Final Two".  James said he would only do it with Slayer playing in the background. This was in response to a video mailbag from a cartoonized Simon Cowell.  (Yes, you read that right.)

16.  After I snapped the picture of "Rachel" calling in, I had to reboot the video, so I hope you enjoy this. Note the pimple cream on her chin.  She says she misses Evel Dick in the house.

17. Dominic and Lawon admit that they haven't watched all of the BB episodes yet.

Dick:  What's wrong with you mother fuckers?  It's not that many episodes! What the fuck is taking so long?

Dom:  It's just too depressing to see so many bad game moves!

Dick:  How do you think I feel?  That I left this season with so many bad game plays?  I could have won another check for 500 G's!

18.  Dominic and Keith confirm that Cassi told both of them she regretted aligning with Shelly in the game and feels this was a big mistake on her part.

19.  Dick made a graphic as Rachel as a blow up doll.  I don't know if you can see below but there is a penis going into Rachel's mouth.

20.  Howie says that he was playing pickup basketball a few weeks ago with James in Chicago, and they were playing a team and said their team name was the Regulators.  One of the girls on the court says "oh, you guys must watch Big Brother".  And then James and Howie beat their ass on the court.  They laugh that those weren't long-time fans if they didn't recognize Howie and James.

21.  Dick said that in BB8, when Eric Stein got evicted on Double Eviction night, he didn't have a chance to pack.  He used to jack off in a sock every night and kept the crusty socks under his bed.  Jameka packed all of those crusty socks for him in his bag after he left.  (ha ha ha ha)

22.  Dick tells another good one---after he had that big fight with Jen Johnson when she got burned with a cigarette someone in Florida called the LAPD and told them that someone was being held against her will and burned with cigarettes in the Big Brother house.  The police actually came to the set and the Producers had to show them the footage before they would leave.  Alison and Rich told Evel Dick about it and thought it was funny.

23.  Lawon was trying to tell a story and James interrupted him by correcting his grammar.  It totally stopped Lawon and it was kind of mean.  James is kind of a dick, but maybe that's why we like him.

24.  They laugh about how Evel Dick broke the ice in the house after they were all in there by giving a shout out to Big Brother for being the first season to have three black people on the cast.  Keith laughs and says Dick said what they were all thinking!

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